Acting Out (10 page)

“Good. Now switch places and Shelby is the rescuer. In the water, JD.”

When Shelby climbed out of the water, I whispered to her again. “I didn't know. I never would've said that if I did. Don't you know what JD really stands for? Justa Dimwit.” Shelby wiped her bangs out of her eyes and gave me a little smile.

But when I jumped off the end of the dock to be rescued, I had a heavy feeling in my chest, like a weight. I didn't like being boring old Judith. But at times I wasn't crazy about JD, either.

“There is no way Alex will make us swim in weather like this!” groaned Mei. “Maybe she'll cancel class.”

“Don't count on it,” muttered Lauren. It was a foggy, misty morning, and we were all walking to the lake wearing nothing but swimsuits and flip-flops with our towels wrapped around us. Everybody else had left the cabin bundled up in jackets.

“I wish I had a wet suit. The freezing lake water is definitely the worst part of that class,” Mei went on.

“No, Alex is the worst part, and I'm the best part!” I shouted. “If I wasn't in this class, you'd all die of boredom!” I twirled around in circles with my towel stretched out like a cape.

Courtney laughed, because she always appreciated me. I kept spinning in circles as we walked down the gravel road to the lake. “This is fun. I'm getting seriously dizzy. I may puke, and then maybe Alex will excuse me from class.”

“No, she'll say, ‘Wipe that puke off your chin and jump in the water!' ” said Lauren.

I stopped spinning because I saw Natasha and her friend Ashlin walking up behind us. I staggered over and almost crashed right into them.

“Natasha! My first friend!” I threw my arms around her and squeezed her in a bear hug.

“Hi, JD. How are you?” she asked, patting me on the back a little because I wouldn't let her go.

Then I hooked my arm around her shoulder and glared at Ashlin. “How much did you pay Natasha to be her friend?” I demanded. “Five bucks? Or ten? Because she was my friend for free!”

Natasha wriggled away from my arm and patted me on the shoulder. “Calm down, JD. Yes, she's crazy, but she's really harmless,” she told Ashlin.

Then Natasha and Ashlin walked away, disappearing into the fog. Natasha always put up with me hugging her all the time and calling her my first friend, but I could tell she was a little tired of my act. Maybe she wasn't the only one. When I didn't get laughs, I never knew what I should do. I wondered if Chloe Carlson ever told jokes that fell flat.

When we got to the lake, mist was rising from the water, making it look spooky and cold. Alex walked up and said in a surprisingly quiet voice, “Lauren, can I talk to you for a second?”

Lauren didn't look at all surprised. In fact, she had an expression on her face like she knew exactly what was coming next. The two of them walked away from us and talked quietly together. Lauren looked small with her towel wrapped around her shoulders.

“What's up?” Claudia whispered, taking a quick peek at her watch.

“I don't know, but I don't think it's good,” Courtney whispered back.

“She'd better be nice to her, or I'll give her a knuckle sandwich,” I murmured. We all whispered to each other and kept our eyes down, not daring to look in their direction. Every single one of us tried to act like we didn't know what was going on.

Then Lauren looked at us before she walked away from the lake. Alex came toward the rest of us with a frown on her face. “Okay, ladies. Today I want to work on CPR,” she informed us, her voice still soft. She walked over to a storage shed near the end of the lake. We all looked at each other but kept quiet. Everyone was so serious. It was like someone had died.

Alex came back, dragging a dummy under one arm. It had a head, arms, and a body but no legs. She stretched it out in front of our little semicircle.

“This is Clyde P. Ripple,” she said. “Clyde has just been pulled from the water and is unresponsive. I've alerted another lifeguard to call 911. Now I'm going to check to see if Clyde is breathing.” She knelt over the dummy.

“Poor Clyde!” I wailed. “Looks like another shark attack victim!” The whole group was so gloomy, I figured I had to liven things up. Mei and Courtney snickered and looked away.

“He's not breathing,” said Alex in a loud voice, like she hadn't heard me, “so now I'll begin to administer CPR. I first check for foreign objects in his mouth.”

“Spit out your gum, Clyde!” I whispered loudly.

Alex's lips pressed into a thin line. “Then I tilt his head back to open his airway.”

“I hope Clyde's a good kisser,” I said.

“JD, shut up,” said Alex. “Now I'll do two puffs of air and turn my head to watch his chest rise.”

“If Clyde doesn't make it, let's have a burial at sea,” I suggested.

Alex stopped and looked at me. “You're about to push me too far. This is your second warning.”

“Ruh-roh, Raggy!” I said in my best Scooby-Doo voice.

“This is CPR, JD. This is a lifesaving procedure. Not only are you missing out on all this information, but you're preventing the rest of the girls in class from learning it too. If I hear one more crack out of you, you're gonna leave and not come back.” Alex stared me down and I kept quiet. Then she turned her attention back to Clyde.

“Crack,” I whispered to Courtney, just to get in the last word. I truly didn't think Alex would hear me, or maybe I thought she'd ignore me like she often tried to do.

Alex stood up and pointed. “Leave. You're out of this class. I don't want to see you back here again.”

Nobody looked at me, and I didn't look at them, either. Everything was deathly quiet. I stood up and wrapped my towel around me. Alex still pointed, like I'd asked her for directions and she needed to show me the way. I walked away from the group; the only sound I could hear was my flip-flops smacking against the wet grass. I walked past the shallow end of the lake where Isabel was taking her swimming lesson. Hardly anyone was out in canoes this morning, partly because of the weather, and partly because a group was leaving soon for a river trip.

For the first time all summer, I was by myself. The only time I was ever completely by myself was in the showers or in Solitary, but even then somebody was usually in the stall beside me. I walked back up the gravel road, past the dining hall, and then up the hill toward the Middler cabins. I didn't see any other campers wandering around because everyone was at activities. The fog was starting to lift, but the whole camp still felt quiet and deserted.

At least I could go back to the cabin and change into some warm clothes. Lauren was probably there, and we could cabin-sit for the rest of the morning. I couldn't wait to tell her I'd been kicked out of class too. Maybe it would make her feel better. Why couldn't the two of us have switched places? Lauren really wanted to do well, but she wasn't a good enough swimmer. I couldn't have cared less, and yet everything we did was easy for me. It wasn't fair.

I passed Middler Lodge, where we had evening programs every night after dinner. It was empty now, and the big doors stood open. I didn't really care that I'd been kicked out. I never wanted to do that class in the first place. I only took it to be with my friends. All those girls were hoping to be lifeguards some day. Not me.

When I got to our cabin, at first I thought nobody was there. Lauren wasn't on Side A, which meant she must've changed clothes and then left for some other activity. Too bad, because I'd really wanted to talk to her. I opened my trunk to find some clothes.

“What are you doing here?”

I turned around to see Katherine standing in the entry way. “I could ask you the same question,” I said, turning my back on her so I could change.

“I thought you had that swim class.”

“I used to. Alex kicked me out.” I pulled a sweatshirt over my head.

“How come? What'd you do?” asked Katherine.

“Nothing. I made Alex mad. I kept telling jokes and wouldn't shut up.”

Katherine made a snorting sound. “It figures. Look, let me give you some advice. You're always trying to be funny, but you're not. You put on this big act like you're a real troublemaker—getting caught by the Porch Patrol and all that. Big whoop. You're trying to be something you're not.”

I closed my trunk but didn't turn around. It was like Katherine had read my mind. What else did she know about me?

“At least everyone likes me,” I said over my shoulder. “My whole cabin hasn't turned against me.” From Day One, Katherine had been hard to get along with, and then she'd started teasing Isabel because she couldn't swim. Now none of us could stand her.

“Oh, boo-hoo, I'm so sad that I don't have any friends,” said Katherine, wandering back over to Side B. She was obviously annoyed that I'd interrupted her morning of cabin-sitting all by herself. I was glad she was going to leave me alone.

I climbed up on my top bunk and stretched out.
You're always trying to be funny, but you're not.
Partly that was just Katherine being her crabby self. But then maybe part of it was true. I'd seen other people roll their eyes when I cracked jokes. And this morning even Natasha seemed tired of my act; she'd always liked me before.

I turned over on my side and stared at the wall.
JD WAS HERE.
I'd written that last Sunday, the day after the dance, when everyone was still talking about me and Lance. I was feeling pretty darn good about myself then. I reached out and touched the rough wood of the cabin wall.

I'd been able to keep up the JD act for almost two whole weeks. But now everything was falling apart. I got on people's nerves, I hurt people's feelings, I tried to be the life of the party, but instead I just made a fool of myself.

And I'd finally pushed Alex too far. Why didn't I keep my mouth shut? I'd wanted to get one more laugh in. And maybe part of me wanted Alex to kick me out. Now I could finally do the activities I really wanted to do, since Guard Start wouldn't be taking up all my time.

But then I'd also written my family about the class and told them how good I was. I didn't even have to lie about that part; it was true. And Michelle had told them the same thing in the letter she'd sent. What was I supposed to tell them now?
Oh yeah, you know that pre-lifeguarding class I was taking? I got kicked out for cracking jokes, so I didn't finish it
. How was I ever going to explain that?
But Judith, that's so unlike you.
And did my parents really need another kid disappointing them? Hadn't they already been through enough with Justin?

I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it. As much as I hated to admit it, Katherine was right about one thing. So much for trying to be something I wasn't. I should've known this would never last. Maybe it was time for me to make JD disappear.

“JD!” Courtney and Mei came bursting through the screen door looking for me. I'd been waiting for them. I knew they'd come looking for me as soon as class ended.

“Hi.” I sat up on my top bunk and looked at them. Courtney had a
what am I going to do with you
look on her face. Mei stood there with her arms crossed.

“We've got to fix this,” said Courtney. “It's bad enough we lost Lauren. We can't lose you, too.”

“I've got to tell . . .”
I've got to tell you guys something. My name's really Judith. And before camp, I had the personality of a doorknob. My brain's worn out from thinking up jokes. I'm going back to my old self. Maybe you'll like me or maybe you won't.

“Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking! You've got to tell Alex you're sorry. If you apologize to her, maybe she'll let you back in the class,” Courtney suggested.

“Hey, where's Lauren?” asked Mei. “We need to talk to her, too.”

“I haven't seen her,” I said. I cleared my throat and tried to start again. “Listen. I have a confession to make.”