Acting Out (17 page)

Mei was next. It took her three times, but finally, on the last try, she had the block in her arms.

After Courtney's turn, Alex asked us if we were ready to swim the five hundred. We had to do a total of ten laps back and forth across the lake. Four laps had to be the crawl, two laps had to be the breaststroke, but the rest could be any combination. This part wasn't timed, but we did have to do all the laps without stopping for very long.

The thing I liked about swimming was that after a while, I'd fall into a rhythm, and then it wouldn't even feel like I was swimming at all. It was almost like walking someplace when you weren't paying attention to where you were going. It took a long time to get tired out when you were walking, and that was how swimming was for me, if I took it slow and steady.

All kinds of thoughts passed through my brain. Sometimes little bits of a song would pop into my head, or I'd remember parts of a conversation. At times I'd count one-two-three-four as I did my strokes. It was almost like being hypnotized. Swimming a bunch of laps always made me feel good. At the end I'd be tired, but it was a good kind of tired.

We'd all started off in a group, but now everyone was spread out. Sometimes I'd feel someone near me, but other times it felt like I had the lake to myself.

When I was on the sixth lap, I switched to the breast-stroke, just to give myself a change of pace. Now, with my head forward when I came up for air, I could see things a little better than when I was turning to the side to breathe on the crawl. I watched as Alex and the dock got closer and closer with every breath.

By the tenth lap, I'd really slowed down, and I switched back to the crawl again. I took long, slow strokes in the water so I could rest as I finished up. When I was within thirty feet of the dock, I let myself glide up, just kicking with my feet. Then I reached the ladder.

Alex gave me her hand as I climbed up. “Congratulations! You've passed,” she told me. I looked back to see everyone else still in the water. I felt kind of lightheaded, but other than that, I wasn't too tired.

I sat on the rock with Lauren and waited while the others swam their laps. “How does it feel?” she asked me.

“I'm glad it's all over.”

One by one, the rest of them finished their laps. “Congratulations!” Alex shouted at each person as she climbed out. She was all smiles, and she looked so proud of us. When the class first started, I'd really thought that Alex was out to get us all—me especially. She'd been so strict, and she never smiled. But now I realized that all along, all she'd cared about was teaching us so that we'd do well in the class.

“That's it! Congratulations, everyone!” Alex whooped and applauded for all of us, and so did Lauren. It was hard to believe that all our hard work was finally behind us.

Alex told us we could go change into dry clothes. For once, we didn't have to stay at the lake after our lesson to do service hours.

“I knew you'd all pass,” said Lauren. She looked happy for us. “I hate to say this, but—we have to rehearse after lunch.”

We all groaned, because after such an exhausting morning, we weren't looking forward to another workout. But the talent show was tomorrow night. We really needed some more practice.

“Bye, Alex! See you at lunch,” I yelled to her as we all walked off wrapped up in our towels. She had really helped us all get through the test—telling us what a good job we were doing and encouraging us through the tough parts.

Today she was our proud teacher. But that might all change by tomorrow night.

“JD, I need to talk to you about something,” said Michelle, just as we were all leaving for morning activities.

“Okay,” I said, knowing that anytime someone started a conversation like that, it couldn't be good. Courtney, Mei, and Lauren stood by the door waiting for me.

“She'll just be a second,” Michelle told them. They all walked out the door, looking at me over their shoulders as they left. Michelle waited to make sure they were gone. Then she sat cross-legged on her cot and patted a spot beside her for me to sit. She gave me her big grin, her eyes crinkling at the edges.

“What are you doing for the talent show tonight?” Michelle had been away for two days on the overnight canoeing trip, so she was out of the loop.

“Oh, I'm doing something with the whole Guard Start class,” I said.

“What is it?”

“A hip-hop dance. Lauren taught it to us.” I didn't like where this conversation was going.

“Really? Because Alex told me she saw you guys rehearsing. And she said the dance you were doing was totally inappropriate for girls your age.” Michelle spoke in a soft voice. It reminded me of my mom reading me a bedtime story when I was four.

“We changed some things, though. She thought some of the moves were too ‘edgy,' but we took those parts out,” I said, trying to believe what I was saying.

Michelle patted my hand and then held on to it. “JD, listen. I don't want you girls doing anything at the talent show that might be inappropriate.”

“But it's just a dance. And Lauren's sister did this same routine with her school's spirit line and the audience loved it,” I said. I pretended that Lauren was talking instead of me.

“Fine, but remember that you'll be in front of the whole camp. Eda, all the younger girls—everyone.” Michelle looked me right in the eye. “I trust you to have good judgment, JD. You're a real leader for all these girls. They'll listen to you. Please don't do anything that would be an embarrassment for anyone.” She gave me this really intense look, and I nodded. I wanted to turn away. It was so hard to look at her.

Michelle stood up and gave me a hug. “Okay, that's all. Go find your friends.”

I walked out of the cabin with my head spinning. I felt like Michelle had hypnotized me or something. I knew I would do anything she asked me to. I ran down the hill to where the whole Guard Start group was waiting for me.

“What happened?” asked Courtney.

I didn't say anything at first. Michelle's words still bounced around inside my head.
Good judgment. A real leader.

“Well? What did she want?” Mei asked. “We knew something was up just by the way she sounded.”

I looked at all of them. “We can't do the dance.”

“What?” cried Lauren. “No way! The talent show is tonight!” I noticed she had her iPod and speakers with her.

“I guess Alex told her about watching us rehearse and how ‘inappropriate' it was. So Michelle doesn't want us to do it.”

“Wait a second,” said Claudia. “Did she specifically say, ‘Do not do the dance'?”

“More or less.”

“She used those exact words?” Claudia went on.

“She made it very clear that she didn't want us to do anything that might be embarrassing.”

“I'm not embarrassed by it,” said Lauren. “I think it's an awesome dance.”

“Me too,” said Courtney. “I don't think it's inappropriate. Or embarrassing.”

“Look, you guys. Both of our counselors have pretty much forbidden us to do this act. We really can't go through with it,” I said.
They'll listen to you.

“Yes, we can,” Lauren argued. “Aren't rules made to be broken?” She raised her eyebrows and looked at me.

“What's the worst they can do to us?” asked Mei. “Camp is over on Saturday. “What are they going to do—give us detention? Fail us? Send us to the principal's office?”

“Yeah, JD. Why are you so worried about getting in trouble all of a sudden? Doesn't JD stand for ‘Juvenile Delinquent'?” Courtney asked.

Why had I made that speech so many times this summer? I just had to brag about what a troublemaker I was.

“Come on. We need to rehearse. I've already asked one of the Senior counselors if we can use their lodge to practice. Just so we don't have anyone snooping around.” Lauren turned and walked away. Claudia followed her. Shelby, Mei, and Courtney stayed put.

“Are you coming?” asked Courtney.

“No.”

That was the answer I wanted to give. And it wasn't because Michelle and Alex didn't approve. I didn't want to do the dance. For once, I didn't make a decision based on what everyone else might think about me. I made it for myself.

Lauren and Claudia stopped. They turned around and looked at me. All eyes were on me. Nobody said anything. I realized my toes were cold from the dewy grass. I only had on flip-flops. Everyone was waiting for me to say something else.

“I'm not going to do it,” I said.

Shelby cleared her throat. “Me neither.”

Lauren stood in front of us with her arms crossed. She gave us a long look. Then, slowly, she nodded. “Fine. The four of us will do it without you.” She turned away.

“I don't think you should,” I said. My arms were crossed too.

“Well, that's your opinion,” said Lauren. Then she and Claudia walked off. Mei and Courtney hadn't moved.

“Come on, JD,” Courtney begged, her voice just above a whisper. “Do it with us. If you're part of the act, it won't be such a shocker. Everyone expects something crazy from you.”

“Let's do something else,” I suggested. “Something they won't get mad at us about.”

“It's too late for that,” said Mei. “We've worked so hard at this. All of us.”

I looked at the grass in front of me. “No. I'm not going to do the dance. And I don't think you guys should either.”

There was a long pause. The four of us stood there. Lauren and Claudia were now almost out of sight.

“Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I still want to do it,” said Courtney.

“Me too,” said Mei. Then they walked off, leaving Shelby and me standing there.

Shelby pushed her bangs out of her eyes and looked at me. “Think they'll get into big trouble if they go through with it?”

“I don't know. I have no idea what's going to happen,” I said.

So much for being a leader everyone would listen to.

Amber—

Hey!! Guess what? This morning Michelle told me she doesn't want us doing the dance. Now Shelby and I aren't doing it, but the rest of them still are. I know it's totally last minute, but I was thinking—maybe I should come up with a different act??!! What do you think? I don't want everyone else to get in trouble. Got any ideas?? I'm desperate!!! See me after rest hour—K? THANKS!!

JD

I folded the piece of paper into a triangle-shaped paper football and took aim. I flicked it toward Amber's bottom bunk, but it missed and landed on the floor. She still saw it, though, so she reached down and picked it up. Lauren gave me a look from her top bunk, but I kept my eyes on Amber, watching her unfold the piece of paper.

When she finished reading it, she looked up at me with wide eyes. “Well?” I mouthed to her. She shrugged her shoulders, then gave me an okay sign with her fingers.

Rest hour had just started, so we all had to lie there on our bunks and be quiet the whole time. Michelle was asleep, as usual, so I might have been able to get down from my bunk and go talk to Amber, but I didn't want to chance it.

I felt pretty rotten that I was asking Amber for help now. We had only a single afternoon to figure something out. Maybe it was too late.

Amber opened her spiral notebook, and I watched her flip through the pages and start writing. She looked up at me and smiled. I let out a sigh. At least she was going to try.

All through rest hour, Amber scribbled away. The only sound in the cabin was her pen scratching across the page.

When the bell rang and rest hour was over, Lauren, Mei, and Courtney left together without saying even one word to me. So had I lost all my friends by making this decision? I guess they felt like I'd abandoned them.

Michelle sat up on her cot and rubbed her eyes. “Come on, you two. Get moving. Time for activities.”

I slid off my bunk and looked at Amber. “I am so sorry to put you on the spot like this at the last minute. If you don't think there's enough time, it's okay.”