Adam, Enough Said (This Can't be Happening) (6 page)

When I finished
letting the truth sink in, I stalked toward her, but she turned and ran again, now easier and faster without her heels on. She moved in the direction of the kitchen and I took off after her, but by the time I caught up, she'd already grabbed the knife out of the block and turned.

I skidded to a halt and froze.

"Are you in-fucking-
sane
? Put the knife down, Mia," I ordered, threateningly, as I stood still in the middle of the kitchen wondering if she'd lost her goddamn mind, especially when she tilted her head to the side and studied me like she'd never seen me before in her life. Her probing eyes chilled me down to the bone.

She's
fuckin' crazy!

"What are
you gonna do, cop boy?" she asked sweetly, just before taunting, "
Arrest me?"

My temper, already at its boiling point, was about to spill over and ignite.

"Mia, I get that you’re still drunk or tipsy or whatever the fuck, but I'm warning you. This shit is not funny, and it's not cute, so cut it out!" I barked.

S
he rolled her eyes.

"Oh, pipe down with the Robocop speak. I'm not going to touch you with it
. You're not worth it." She paused, looked around my body, licked lips, nodded as if silently confirming something to herself, and then she faced me again. "But I am going to fuck some shit up."

Then,
the lunatic walked toward me, ever so slowly, and I didn't know what to do.

"Afte
r I got pregnant," she started, her voice eerily low, as she entered the living room. "You were so miserable and so confused and so...depressed? Yeah, I think you were depressed. But at times, you acted so loving, protective, and desperate for me that I thought whatever was making you miserable, was something we could get past. I tried and I tried to make you love me --"

"I loved you," I
barked in fury and she stopped and stood directly in front of the brown leather sofa.

"No, Adam, you cared about me and felt sorry for me, but you didn't love me...or maybe you did love me in your own way, but not the way a
husband is supposed to love his wife."

She looked down. “You know. I loved this couch.”

She sank the knife into the cushions and slashed, all the way across, and then again on the back, carving out an X.

"Mia
--" I shouted and moved in to stop her, but she stood, held up the knife and continued talking over me at the same time.

"I should have known, should have seen it coming, but I never thought you were so unhappy that you'd fuck around on me. Maybe I just didn't want to face it, I don't know. When
I saw the lipstick on your clothes, I still didn’t want to believe it, but when I saw you kissing her, a girl with an amazing body and platinum-blonde hair…you broke me."

Breena
; A.K.A the mistake.

Where did I even begin to explain
Breena to Mia?

She was a
case that I never should have been given and one that I definitely never should have taken. I'd been young and stupid, and when Mia got pregnant, I’d been in a bad place. But I'd taken all my worries and insecurities out on the one person who meant everything to me, and then I screwed it all up. Every mistake I’d made had turned into a domino effect. The pieces had tumbled and tumbled until there were no more pieces left, and Mia was gone.

"
I told you the blonde was a case, Mia. I was working a case," I told her miserably.

"Cops take their
cases to their mother's funeral." Her brow rose to her forehead.

I shook my head
, rubbed a hand over my head and down my face. How had I not put it together? And where did I even begin to explain? I knew how it looked, but it wasn't what she thought, and getting her to listen was near impossible. I watched as she turned her back on me and walked to the love seat, probably to shred it too, but I couldn't just stand back and watch her take out her anger this way. Not when her pain was all my fault. I'd blamed her for leaving me, but I knew all along that it was because I'd pushed her too far.

I
moved fast, before she saw me, and I slammed my chest into her back and wrapped my arms around her body. She immediately dropped the knife and I held her arms down at her sides.

"Stop this, Mia
," I whispered in her ear.

She
held still, but I felt her body shaking as she cried silently. It killed me inside.

"Please calm down,
Baby," I whispered, but at my words, she shook her head, pushed out of my hold and I dropped my arms. I wanted to keep holding her, touching her, but in her state, I didn’t know which was safer - keeping her close or keeping her at a distance.

She faced me
, with tears still sliding down her cheeks.

"You know,
when you told me the blonde was a case, I wanted so desperately to believe you," she whispered. "Even though I saw you with her myself, I still decided I was going to come back to you. I had every intention of coming back to you, but I’d needed time," she paused and took a deep breath. "I loved you that much and that's how stupid I was. This is going to sound horrible, but I thought that your mom passing away only months after the miscarriage was a sign. A sign that I needed to get over my heartbreak and come back to you, because I
stupidly
thought you might need me..." Her voice cracked and her eyes closed, "... but you were with her at the funeral. How could you do that to me?"

"I
wasn’t with her, Mia. She showed up on her own. It’s nothing like you’re thinking. It’s a long story, but I messed up. Every single day I live with that regret and you can't imagine how that feels. We have to talk about this because it kills me, and I know you're still hurt and angry right now, but you have to calm down so I can explain everything that happened so you'll understand," I finished firmly.

"That's the thing
, Adam, I don't want to understand. I've never wanted to understand. I've been strong my whole life, because I had to be...always...until I met you. You were my weakness and I knew you would be from the moment I met you. I tried to stay away, but you pushed and shoved your way into my life, refusing to let me go, promising never to hurt me...and then you did. It wasn't just the cheating or the lying; it was you not being there for me when I needed you most. I was scared and lonely, and I had nobody. I needed you," her voice shook and her bottom lip trembled.

I closed my eyes
and held my breath at her words.

"I loved you,
and you know how much. Sometimes, I think I still do. Sometimes, I miss the boy I met when I was eighteen years old; the boy who never would have let me go; the boy who never would have hurt me. But that boy then turned into a man who
broke
me, who
ruined
me, who
killed
the young, fun girl that used to be me."

Silence.
I couldn't find my voice.

And when I did, it wa
s deep, low and filled with misery.

"
I knew I was your weakness, Mia, and I was hungry for it. But I never abused that knowledge. I underestimated it, but I never abused it."

Her eyes widened. "
Excuse me?" she breathed.

"You were
strong and handled everything on your own when I met you, but I wore you down. I know I did, but I needed to back then, because
I
needed to feel needed. But in doing that, I also wanted to give you everything. The only reason you're not still living in this house, filling it with my babies and wearing my ring on your finger is because
you
decided
you
couldn't forgive me for something I. Didn't. Even. Do. I never cheated on you. I didn’t tell you things that I should have, but I never lied to you. As much as you'd like to think the worst of me, I promise you, Baby, my intention was never to hurt you or push you away. I was working through things --"

"Just shut up, Adam. You keep saying you didn't cheat, but I saw it with my own eyes, and you know what? It doesn't even matter anymore. We've both gone our separate ways and it's for the best. We were never good together anyway. I couldn't make you happy."

She couldn't make me happy?

"You're the
only person who knew how to make me happy and you never even had to try. You were my
fucking
world, Mia, if you'd just get that through your red hair and thick-ass skull, you'd see that! If I could go back and change the past, I would."

I would have loved her
properly and done right by her. I would have made sure my only fuck-up was something like forgetting to pick up toilet paper when I got off work. I would go back and realize that Mia never wanted anything from me, but me and the love I could give her… should have given her.

"We
ll, it's too late now, isn’t it?"

I had to touch her
again. I couldn't resist. She was here, standing in front of me and I had to feel her against me one last time, especially if it might be the last. I moved and her little body stiffened, but she didn't run. As soon as I was in reaching distance, I pulled her into my arms and held on like my life depended on it.

She hesitated only a second
, before wrapping her arms around my back and I buried my face in her hair, against her neck and breathed her in.

Coconut.

I could feel her body trembling, and I heard her soft cries as her tears soaked through my shirt; wetting the skin beneath the fabric.

I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back my own tears.

"How? How did things get so ugly between us?" she whispered. I hugged her tighter.

I wanted
to ease her pain so badly that I picked her up.

I wasn't wasting any more time
going back and forth giving partial stories. She needed to know the truth and she needed to know it all.

Chapter
Four

Mia Bryant

“What are you doing?” I screeched when Adam picked me up.

I automatically wrapped my legs
around his waist to hang on, because it was uncomfortable letting my legs dangle in front of his.

"You're gonna fuckin' listen to me," he stated, his tone unwavering.

He strode up the stairs, down the hall, and into the bedroom; his bedroom; the bedroom we'd once shared. A light switched on and he dropped me, ass down on the edge of the mattress and he followed by dropping to his knees on the floor in front of me. He kept his hands locked tight around my hips and he pulled back to stare into my eyes.

"This is inappropriate. I
shouldn’t be in here," I whispered.

He ignored me
to lift his hands and wipe away the wetness, and makeup from my under my eyes, my cheeks and my nose. When he was finished, his hands fell back to my hips and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

I was so distracted by his tenderness that I didn't understand why he muttered, "Thank
God they're still there."

"What
?" I asked in a small voice.

He shook his head, glanced down at my lap
and then back up. The blue in his green eyes sparkled. "Your freckles," he finally answered and I inhaled a sharp breath

My entire body sighed.
He sounded like the idea of me not having my freckles anymore would be devastating. I opened my mouth to respond, but he spoke before me.

"Do you remember th
e story I told you about my dad?" he asked softly and his words had me curious. I nodded, wondering where he was going with this and what his dad had to do with why we were currently in his room.

His dad had had two families. Married to another woman and always promising Adam's mom that he was leaving his wife for her. When Ms. Bryant had decided she'd had enough and that she no longer wanted anything to do with
Adam’s dad, he raped her; a horrendous circumstance which resulted in Ms. Bryant conceiving Adam. She'd threatened to press charges in an attempt to keep his father away, but Adam's dad came in and out of their lives whenever he felt like it.

Ms. Bryant, God rest her soul, had been scared of him.

But visits from Adam's dad slowed down when his wife got pregnant; around the time Adam was five. Then he would pop in three or four times a year, try to apologize, get pissed, slap Adam and his mom around and leave. It wasn't until Adam was around fourteen that the visits stopped all together, and at nineteen, Adam was informed that his dad had died.

"He left me money," Adam said
and my brows met in confusion because I already knew that.

"I know," I replied, but he shook his head.

"No, Mia, he left me
money
. A lot of it. Not enough to make me rich, but it was plenty enough to secure my future and the future of my family. He left the same amount to both me and Landyn. I never told you because I knew you couldn’t care less about money, but I also didn’t tell you, because I’d sworn I would never touch a penny of it. I swore I'd never use his money for the hell he put my mom through. I never wanted to feel that I needed that asshole for anything, especially after he died."