Adrenaline: A Fall Away Series Bonus Content Collection (14 page)

Maybe our time here had passed. Maybe we’d outgrown it.

In high school, racing week in and week out, I needed this place. It was the only thing that I looked forward to, and I had shit to prove. To my parents, to Tate, to the guy who got in my face last week, to the teachers who washed their hands of me, to everyone…

But as I grew up, I realized that no matter how many races I won, I still wasn’t a winner. I’d just convinced everyone around me but myself. Now…I didn’t feel like that anymore. I was worthy of my family, my kids, my home, my career, and my wife. I could lose a race now and not feel like a loser.

I leaned in, kissing her forehead. “Yeah, I know,” I whispered and then pulled away. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I turned and walked for Madoc’s car, sitting farther down the track. He hadn’t moved into place yet, because he was late and the track was swarming with people who were in the way. Most of whom I didn’t recognize anymore.

He flashed a smile, jerking his chin at me. “Hey, what goes on pages four and five of that Mustang’s
User Manual?
” He gestured to my car behind me. “The bus and train schedule!”

I hooded my eyes, ignoring the dig. He seemed particularly excited, so I wouldn’t ruin it for him. Coming up next to him, I leaned on the car and folded my arms over my chest. “So I have to ask you something. Do you really want to race?”

I felt him stiffen next to me, and I could feel his eyes bearing down. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” he shot out.

Hesitating, I avoided his eyes and took in a deep breath. “The thing is…back in junior year, when Tate was in France,” I told him, “Zack called me and wanted to set up a race between us.”

“What?” he blurted. “How come I didn’t know that?”

I looked up, locking eyes with him. “Because I turned him down. I even forgot about it until recently.”

“Why did you turn it down?”

A nervous laugh escaped, and I just shrugged. “I guess I was afraid you’d win, and I’d get pissed. Or I’d win, and you’d get pissed. The thing is…I didn’t want to risk anything changing, you know?” I hinted when he kept looking at me like I he was confused. “In our friendship.”

He just kept staring at me, the creases between his eyes growing deeper.

“Come on.” I exhaled, laughing. “You were really all I had. You knew that, right? You were my only real friend. The only thing I could count on, and I didn’t have anything to prove with you, so why risk that?” I asked him, not expecting an answer. Standing up straight, I told him frankly, “I enjoyed not knowing who was the better man. We were on even ground, and I wanted to keep it that way. Being friends with you was the only thing in my life that was easy. I didn’t want to risk anything changing it.”

He remained speechless, and I didn’t blame him. It wasn’t often I admitted things like that. He was probably searching his arsenal for some joke to shoot back with.

“So are you wimping out then?” he accused.

I straightened, scowling over at him. “No, I’m not wimping out,” I charged. “You want to race? I’ll race. I’m just saying that we don’t have anything to prove. I mean, after we race, what then?”

He wins, and I’m going to hear about it for the rest of my life. I win, and he’ll change. He’ll never challenge me again, because he would know I was better. And I didn’t want to be better than him. I didn’t want him to think I was better or the people in this town to think I was better at anything. I didn’t want to compete with Madoc.

“Yeah,” he finally responded. “I mean…we’re young. The Loop’s not going anywhere. We can race anytime.”

“Yeah. Absolutely,” I agreed. “There’s no rush.”

The only problem was all the people who showed up to see it. Well, maybe Tate would race him then. She might like that idea.

But my train of thought was interrupted when some kid in the crowd complained, making me look up. “Hey, when are the old people going to be done, so we can race?”

“Seriously,” another one chimed in, checking his invisible watch and staring at us. “It’s past nine. Isn’t it your bedtime yet?”

“Little fuckers,” Madoc mumbled as the teens laughed with their friends.

“Yeah,” I growled under my breath.

“Leave ‘em alone, guys,” a black-haired kid next to them went on. “It’s the one night of the year their wives let them leave the house without the minivans.”

I chewed the inside of my mouth, my heartrate picking up.

Finally.

The blood in my arms rushed hot, and every hair on my neck stood up as I glared at the latest Loop generation and their smug confidence. Was I that much of an asshole back then?

“I’m kind of feeling like I have something to prove now. You?” Madoc spoke up.

The corner of my lips curled. “Yep.”

“Hope you don’t mind getting a few scratches on the Boss.”

I shook my head. “Nah. As long as you don’t mind a few dents in the GTO.”

“Not at all,” he answered, moving around me to the driver’s side. “It’s about time the kids learned how to rebuild a car anyway.”

I nodded, feeling the rush and excitement in my stomach that only came from being a little bit pissed off.

I smiled to myself as I walked back to my car.

Fucking minivans. Really?

Lucas

Fallon strolled across the track, making her way over to where I leaned against my car. I couldn’t help but be amused at the way she rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. It was the expression she usually wore when Madoc was about to do something stupid.

But when she looked up and saw me, she perked up, her lips spreading in a tired smile. “You know he’s going to miss you more than he lets on,” she said, standing next to me and staring at the track. “He calls you his firstborn.”

I let out a small laugh, watching Madoc and Jared climb into their cars as everyone cleared the track. Their engines revved in the night air, and I could feel the vibrations in my chest.

I also noticed two more cars lining up with them and narrowed my eyes, confused. I thought it was just Jared and Madoc racing first. But it looked like some of the new drivers were also joining in.

“We’ll all miss you, of course, but you’ll be back,” Fallon continued, sounding so sure.

I stayed silent, not sure how to respond.

Tonight was my last night in town. Madoc, the Big Brother that was more of a father to me than my own ever got a chance to be, made me promise to show up tonight to say goodbye to everyone.

But I think it was more for his own benefit—and the kids in their family whom I’d gotten close to. He knew I didn’t want to see anyone, preferring to just get away from here as soon as possible tomorrow.

My throat tightened, and I swallowed, forcing myself to indulge Fallon. “Yeah, I’ll miss you guys, too,” I admitted.

The traffic lights on the tracks started blinking, and Fallon hugged her chest as she popped up on her tiptoes to see. The engines roared, over and over again as the crowd went wild. I never raced here—I never took much interest—but I would definitely miss this—and them.

During the past year since I’d finished grad school, I’d been running Fallon’s Chicago office, being a face on the scene and handling our clients. She preferred to stay in Shelburne Falls, working on her designs from home, while I handled the office.

Recently, however, I’d needed to get away. I took a job with a firm in New York, and was being sent overseas to work with a team of architects in the Middle East. It was slated to be a lengthy project, and I couldn’t wait to leave. It was exactly what I needed.

“Do what you need to do, Lucas,” Fallon had said. “We’ll always be here for you.”

And I hoped that was true. Madoc seemed a little pissed when I told him I was leaving town. With the distance, I doubted I’d make it home very often, either.

Jared, on the other hand, seemed less judgmental when I asked if going away for a while was the best thing. He said leaving his friends, family, and Tate was the worst thing he’d ever done, but he also said he didn’t regret it for a second. ‘We need to go through shit and suffer to learn who we are and distance can bring perspective and make us grow up’, blah, blah, blah…but also, ‘don’t expect the world to stop turning while you’re gone. Things will change, and you better expect that.’

And then he said to stop asking him about shit he didn’t have the answers to.

I looked up at Jared, Madoc, and Jax on the track. They had beautiful families and were lucky in love with women who were driven and strong. I used to think they had all the answers, and then I realized that they fucked up just as much as I had. The only difference was they were fighters. They refused to fail.

I crossed my arms over my chest, balling my fists and hardening my jaw. Where had my fight gone? Did I even fucking care anymore?

“Woo hoo!”

Shouts echoed across the field, and I blinked, coming out of my head. I watched as the red light turned to yellow—more engines revving—and then turned to green.

And all four cars shot off, their exhaust and the burn of their tires clouding the air and kicking up dust.

I heard Fallon suck in a breath as Madoc immediately took the lead. We watched as he rounded the first corner, but then, all of a sudden, he whipped his car around, skidding as he faced the opposite direction. The direction the other cars were coming from.

The other drivers swerved, kicking up more dirt under their tires as they laid on their horns.

What the hell he was doing?

Fallon groaned and locked her palms in front of her chest, her fingers entwined. “He is such an idiot sometimes.”

I watched as Madoc shifted into reverse, slammed on the gas, and started driving backward, swerving side to side as he blocked the other cars from passing him, clearly having a little fun teasing them.

Laughter filled the track, and I could feel Fallon’s eyes roll as we watched Madoc hang back, topping out at only thirty miles an hour—all he could do in reverse—but keeping the other cars back and allowing Jared to speed ahead. I could see arms flailing out of car windows from pissed off drivers, and Jax was hanging in the stand, hunched over the railing, laughing his ass off at the joke his brother and Madoc were making of the race.

“I guess they’re working as a team?” I mused.

“Yep,” she said in a clipped tone. “Apparently, they needed to measure their dicks against a couple high school kids. Men never grow up. No offense.”

I breathed out a laugh, sticking my hands in the pockets of my cargo shorts. The guys continued rounding the track, and as soon as Madoc had an opportunity, he slammed on the breaks, spun back around—causing the other cars to skid and swerve again—and he jumped on the gas, speeding ahead and putting him and Jared in the lead.

“You know,” Fallon began, both of us still watching the guys round the track, “you won’t leave guilt-free tomorrow. I think someone other than Madoc is mad at you.”

Turning my head to her, I saw her eyes fixed out on the grass. Following her gaze, I spotted Quinn on a blanket, lying on her stomach and drawing in the journal she always carried around with her. The one Juliet gave her for her fifth birthday.

Madoc’s daughter, A.J., sat beside her, playing with her puppy, and I caught Quinn’s eyes briefly flash to me.

But then she quickly looked away when she saw me watching.

Yeah. Jaw clenched, tight lips, and even from here I could tell she was going over the same line with her pen again and again, probably tearing the paper underneath. Her fingers were as white as snow, because she was holding the pen so tight.

Definitely mad.

I frowned to myself. Quinn was just a kid, and even though the family joked about her little crush on me over the years, she did kind of have a special place in my heart. She hadn’t had it easy, after all.

Well, she hadn’t really had it rough, either. She had everything she could ever want, as the daughter of Jason Caruthers would. But she was on a short leash. Her father hovered, and when he didn’t, her brothers did.

I was the one who had let her do things no one else would.

I was the first one to put a rifle in her hand out at the shooting range. She was nine, and I got slapped over the head for it. And I also gave her her first ride on a motorcycle when she was eleven. I realize now it was a mistake not to have a helmet on her, but it’s not like I was racing down the highway, either. I thought everyone in the family was going to kill me.

I shook my head, blowing off Fallon’s little concern. “Well, she starts high school in the fall, right? She’ll be too busy with boys and teen drama to even remember my name.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” she retorted. “You’re pretty much the only non-family member male she’s allowed to be around.”

I smiled at the joke, taking off my baseball cap and running my hand through my hair before putting it back on. “Well, like I said…high school. All the men in her life will miss the days when it was just me letting her swim without a life jacket. They’ll realize I was the least of their problems.”

Fallon laughed to herself and then looked up, stopping as she peered over the track. “Oh, no,” she grumbled. “I’ll be right back.”