Advanced Brilliant Writing: Make Your Plots Wider and Your Characters Deeper (Go! Write Something Brilliant) (8 page)

Layer One: His Attire:
(which reveals his Identity) Mannerisms, clothing, public goals

(Hint: Commonly this is chapters 1-2)

Layer Two: His Behavior
(which reveals Character/Values/Competence): Remember, this layer reveals how he treats people, his habits (which also reveal values), his reactions to stress (which reveal past hurts, and his essential character).

(This might overlap chapter 2, and continue through to chapters 4 or 5)

Layer Three: His Choices
(which reveal purpose/Noble Cause): This layer reveals his external struggles regarding plot, his greatest dreams and why he thinks he’ll never find them, his obstacles to love.

(You may show glimpses of this layer starting in chapters 3-4, and continue all the way to chapter 15)

Layer Four: His In-security:
His internal struggles, greatest dreams and fears, how he feels about love, his spiritual vacancies.

(This might occur anywhere from chapters 12-18)

Layer Five: His Spiritual Lie and the discovery of the truth.

(Often this occurs near the climatic ending, anywhere from chapters 16-20)

Inserting Backstory

But, you say, shouldn’t the reader know more than the characters?

Yes
. Which is the Second Key to Deeper Characterization:
Backstory Breadcrumbs

Oh Hansel, I’m so afraid no one will find us!

Never fear, Gretel, we will drop breadcrumbs, and someone will follow . . .

As you build your character and reveal his layers, you also need to keep in mind the balance between layering and dropping backstory elements that are essential to building the motivation of the character. See, your reader does need to know why your character is doing something. Not an entire diary entry, but just one sentence of information—and even that should only be the barest crumb of information.

The key to Backstory is dropping just enough crumbs to stir your reader’s hunger for more. You don’t want to give them too much at the beginning, or they’ll get filled up, satisfied, and they won’t have an appetite to finish the journey.

So, How much Backstory should you put into a scene?
Just enough to give the reader the information he/she needs to understand/accept the current action and decisions.

They just need to embrace the character’s motivations for continuing on in the journey.

For example, let’s say that I have a character who has just inherited a ranch. I might open the scene where she is driving up to the abandoned ranch, looking at the life her uncle left her. Now, I might be tempted to go into a lengthy Backstory about how, when she was a child, she loved visiting the ranch, how she chased the prairie dogs and rode horses through the tall grasses, and how it gave her an escape from an alcoholic mother. I might go on to recall a conversation she had with her uncle, how he had one no-account son and she was like a daughter to him. I could even say that she’d spent the last five years as a lawyer in Minneapolis and was burned out after winning a child abuse case and wanted a fresh start because it reminded her too much of her own life. I could say all that. But it’s
way
too much information for the beginning of a book, and really, it gives away the punch line. We want our readers to discover all this along the way.

Instead, I’ll pare it down to the essentials:

“She couldn’t believe that Uncle Henry had left her the ranch instead of Billy Bob. Nor could she believe she’d abandoned her law practice, especially now, after the victories of her last case. But maybe her uncle knew her better than she knew herself, had heard the silent pleadings of her heart. Even now, the wide expanse of the blue sky filled her soul like a spring breeze after a grueling winter, drawing her back to the land.”

Okay, even that might be too much, but doesn’t it raise a lot more questions for the reader? What silent pleadings? What case, and why would she leave? Who is Billy Bob? And what happened as a child to keep her tethered to the land? All these questions are Breadcrumbs to draw the reader further into the story.

In my book
Flee the Night
, the book opens with Lacey on a train, sitting next to her daughter.

She sees a man get on—one she recognizes as an assassin. I drop only Breadcrumbs by pulling back on the information I give.

The past couldn’t have picked a worse time to find her.

Trapped in seat 15A on an Amtrak Texas Eagle chugging through the Ozarks at 4:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, Lacey . . . Galloway . . . Montgomery—what was her current last name?—tightened her leg lock around the computer bag at her feet.

She dug her fingers through the cotton knit of her daughter’s sweater as she watched the newest passenger to their compartment find his seat. Lanky, with olive skin and dark eyes framed in wire-rimmed glasses, it had to be Syrian assassin Ishmael Shavik, who sat down, fidgeted with his leather jacket, then impaled her with a dark glance.

In this opening scene, my heroine knows the man is he’s after her,
but doesn’t tell us why.
We also know she’s protecting a briefcase,
but we don’t know why.
And, we know that her past is bad, but again,
we don’t know why.
All these problems are hinted at, but not solved. My goal is to lure the reader in with just enough Breadcrumbs to make them hungry.

Book Therapist Question:
What is the
essential
information the reader needs to know to give sufficient motivation for the character? What story questions can you drop that will keep the reader interested?

Backstory Breadcrumbs are soft, tasty,
small
morsels to lure your reader into the story.

Using these two keys: Character Layering and Backstory Breadcrumbs, you’ll find the right balance in deepening the connection your reader has with your character.

Don’t look back! Or . . .

The appropriate use of Flashbacks

One of my favorite parts of getting together with my family is reliving the Great Lund Canoe trip of 1981. My parents, always on the hunt for a great vacation spot for our family of five, decided that going on a canoe trip into the wilds of Quetico Park in northern Minnesota with three unseasoned canoeists, one teenager who thought she knew more than she did, and the head of the household who had enough adventure in him for the entire family. We got lost, dumped all our purification tablets into a lake, nearly ran into a bear, accidentally trespassed onto private (Native American) land, and made it through by sheer grace from the fleet of angels who guarded us. The park ranger who gave us our permits said, when he picked us up ten days later, “Frankly, I never thought I’d see you again.” We had similar thoughts (most of them voiced by my mother) during our harrowing adventure.

However, harrowing adventures make for great tales around the Christmas dinner table, and our family loves to talk about the day we got lost on a portage and ended up bushwhacking through a swamp. Or the fresh blueberry pancakes (and narrow miss from the bear). Or the night we found the campsite in the pitch dark, at midnight (one of those providential moments). We laugh until we’re crying, unable to speak.

And then we look up, at our guests and extended family members. They’re staring at us like we might have just landed from the planet Zorgan, and are speaking Zorgonian.
Clearly, you have to have been there.

This is when a Flashback, rather than Backstory, would come in handy.

What is a Flashback in a Novel?

A Flashback is a section of novel that cuts back into time, and is told as if the character is actually back in that scene, experiencing events with the character. We see Flashbacks in movies like
The Fugitive
, when Dr. Kimble is remembering what happened the night of his wife’s murder. Or in
The Notebook
(which is actually one giant flashback!) Or even television shows like
Cold Case
or
CSI
. In the flashback, the viewer sees the event that happened, without the interpretation (but often through the eyes) of the POV character.

A Flashback is an essential part of Backstory that the author wants the reader to experience, in order to help them understand the real time plot or emotional journey of the character.

For example, in my book
Nothing But Trouble
, my character, PJ Sugar, has a pivotal black moment in her past with her former love Boone Buckam. Because that moment is so essential to PJ’s Backstory and her emotional journey, it is key that the reader experience it.

Take a look:

She knew it was a dream, knew that she couldn’t change a thing. Still, she tried—tried to change the wine-red dress she’d had tailor made, with the empire waist, v-neck, spaghetti straps, and shirred front. Tried to change the look on Boone’s face when he picked her up, scrutinized her with those approving eyes.

PJ settled into the dream, feeling royal as she stepped from Boone’s father’s Cadillac, floating into prom on his tuxedoed arm. Roger Buckam stood near the door and nodded toward them. His eyes tight, he shook Boone’s hand, his gold pinky ring glinting under the light of the torches that lined the walkway.

Couples strolled the golf course just outside the halo of light pushing through the club windows. Boone winked at her, then ushered her into the dance.

She hadn’t been much of a drinker, even then, but when Trudi slipped her a taste of the liquid she’d poured into a medicine bottle in her purse, well, she hadn’t been able to eat strawberries since without thinking of schnapps. She laughed too loud, even in her dream, danced hard, flirted well, and by midnight, Boone pulled her tight and offered an invitation that, even in her mood-heightened state, made her blush.

She’d agreed to meet him on the fourth tee, and he disappeared.
“Boone? Boone?”
She heard her voice, wondered if she spoke aloud, but then found herself at the pond, high heels swinging from her fingers. Overhead, the night sky played along with Boone’s plans, stars winking at her, a slight breeze sullying a nearby willow, a golden near-full moon stealing her breath as well as any last remorse.

He loved her. Boone loved her.

And tonight, she’d love him back. A swirl of anticipation tightened inside her.

She heard laughter—Boone’s, husky and deep, from the country club, and it lured her near enough to find him sitting on the back steps with his football cohort Trudi’s date Greg Morris. Boone held the cigarette between his thumb and when he saw her standing barefoot in the shadows next to the dripping air conditioner. looked up at her like a deer in the headlights.

Yes, that’s right, she’d heard him.

She vaguely heard him tell Greg to get lost as she yanked the cigarette from him. He found his feet. “PJ—”

“Don’t even try, Boone.” She stared at the cigarette, her entire body shaking. “You totally cheapened our . . . wrecked—“

A group of boys walked by—football buddies—and Boone lifted his hand in greeting. They laughed, and one gave him a thumbs up.

“What, does the entire school know?” She had the urge to fling the cigarette to the ground, but she was barefoot, and not about to put it out with her pedicure. “Here.” She handed the smoke back to him. “That’s the most ‘fun’ you’re going to have tonight.”

She turned away, sliding out of Boone’s reach as he tried to catch her arm. Above her thundering heartbeat she barely heard the swish of her bare feet scuffing through the stubbly grass of the putting green. Even the trees seemed to want to hush her as she fought tears.

“PJ!”

He caught her on the tenth tee, his hand on her arm. She whipped out of his grasp, slipped on the slick grass and went down in a silky heap.

She felt ruined.

Boone knelt next to her. “I’m sorry.”

He ran his thumb under her eyes, wiping her tears. “We weren’t talking about you.”

“Then who—”

But she never finished because he kissed her. Softly, his eyes in hers as he drew away. “I love you, PJ. I always will.”

When he kissed her again, her arms went up, around his wide shoulders. Her breath mixed with his, and she could taste the champagne he’d snuck into the prom. She lost herself inside his embrace, moving into his advances, barely aware of her shoulders bared, how he’d managed to woo her nearly out of her dress, wrap her in his jacket, how he himself had lost his tailored shirt.

Her heart had already said yes, long before this night. It was only a matter of time before her body followed.

“Daniel Buckam, what in the—?”

Boone sprang away from her. PJ reached out to pull him back, but she’d already lost him as he found his feet, staring in horror at his father astride a golf cart. Sitting beside him sat Ben Murphy and, behind them, Ernie Hoffman.

PJ clutched Boone’s jacket around herself, a hot embarrassment wrenching away her breath.

“Dad—”

“Don’t, Boone. Get in,” Buckam said coldly.

Without a word Boone obeyed his father, sliding onto the back shelf of the cart.

PJ huddled in the wet grass, unsure what to do.

Then Director Buckam gave her a look that made her want to curl into the fetal position. “What are you waiting for?” he snapped.

Murphy crooked a finger at her. But Ernie smiled kindly, patted the seat beside him.

PJ turned her back to them, pulled her dress closed, shivering, shaking. Feeling naked even as she zippered herself back together.