Adversity (21 page)

“
Mémère? Can you hear me? Please, please, please talk to me. I
need you right now. Can you see us?” I couldn’t ask for Kali. I
still wasn’t absolutely sure she even existed. But I thought she
might, and if she did, she could probably contact me through the
board.

The cup
moved then jerked to a stop. “That’s not funny.” Perdita did not
look impressed.

“
It wasn’t me.”

“
Crap,” she whispered.

“
Mémère? Is that you?”

The cup
moved to no.

“
Maybe we should stop this,” she said. Cú growled, but I
ignored him.

“
No. I need this. Who are you?”

The cup
moved again, spelling out the word “you.”

“
What the hell does that mean?” Perdita asked, sounding as
interested as I was.

“
Can you help us?”

Yes
.

I
couldn’t help grinning. It would all work out.

“
Are we in danger?” Perdita asked.

Yes
.

“
From who?” I demanded. More danger?

You
.

“
Stop saying that!” I screamed as books fell from the shelves
and onto the floor with ominous thuds.

Dreams
.

“
What about them?”

Truth
.

“
They’re the truth?” Perdita whispered.

Past
.

“
The dreams are real?” I had to make sure.

Yes
.

“
What do they mean? Why am I having them?” I needed Perdita to
see the answers, so she would finally believe. The cup moved
faster, so fast I could barely keep up.

Cursed. Broken. Freedom
.

“
How? How do I break it?”

Fulfil curse. Take destiny. Free me
.

I
understood. At least, I thought I did. Everything Kali told me was
true, and I was the only one who could finish the story.

“
What does that mean?” Perdita sounded worried. I was kind of
sorry she had to share the experience with me, but I was doing all
of this for her. I would agree to Kali’s demands, because I didn’t
want my best friend to die. I could stop the curse. I could redeem
myself. I could help everyone.

“
I think I know,” was all I told her.

The cup
moved rapidly, sliding across the board without slowing.

Seventh daughter of seventh daughter
.

The pain
shot through me yet again.

Broke the line
.

The
windows rattled in their frames.

Change
.

“
I get it,” I said. “It’s like the dream. I have to accept the
path. If I say yes, then it’s done? It’s over?”

Yes
.

“
I’ll do it. I say yes.”

“
Amelia, what the hell is going on?”

I ignored
Perdita’s panic. The candles all blew out. The windows opened then
slammed themselves shut, but I could see nothing except for that
essence Kali had talked about. I expected it to be black, and dark,
and evil, but it was pure white. It swirled around me, filling me
with memories of my family and my ancestors. Of Kali. It consumed
me, and I consumed it. I knew nothing would ever be the same
again.

I flew
along a river full of bones. It blackened and bubbled with thick,
dark blood. This was my poisoned heritage. Wasted ancestors. Wasted
promise. I could stop it from ever happening again. I could protect
my family from the madness that I knew was true. I saw it in my own
grandfather’s eyes, after all. Kali was right, and I thought I saw
her in the distance, beckoning me.

My body
drifted toward her, and the river seemed to clear. There was peace
in her eyes, and the madness I saw there earlier had left. I nodded
at her, hoping she was finally free.

“
It’s time,” she said, and a wrenching pain lifted me off my
feet.

I was
back in my room, crawling on the floor, Cú growling at me. I
heaved, but my mouth seemed to change, to lengthen and misalign. I
felt every bone in my body break, felt my lungs constrict, and my
heart give out.

Blindly,
I gazed for help, trying to speak, but nothing came out save for a
growl. Then I understood and panicked. I was wolf, and I wasn’t
ready.

Wolf took
over, scenting human. Wolf was starving because I hadn’t eaten in
so long. Wolf found a target and ran out of the bedroom, down the
stairs, and out of the house. Cú got in our way, and wolf attacked,
flinging the dog to the side. Inside I wept, but I couldn’t take
over. I couldn’t find the strength to tame wolf. It was terrifying
and exhilarating, and as Cú limped after the rest of the dogs, wolf
only felt excitement in the chase.

But dogs
weren’t the best targets, and that familiar human scent still stung
my nostrils. I could scent my best friend, but even I couldn’t stop
wolf from wanting to tear out her throat. I screamed in my head as
wolf raced straight for Perdita. Wolf completely ignored the
horrified stares of my family.

Perdita
dropped to the ground, as did Nathan, and too late, I realised what
was happening. I finally did it. I finally ended the curse, and now
they were feeling the break. The pain of their loss was destroying
them.

Wolf
didn’t care.

Wolf
raced on four legs, faster than I ever dreamed possible, and leapt
to catch our kill. My jaws snapped empty air as our prey was
snatched from our grasp at the last second. Snarling, I spun
around, almost falling, as wolf decided to try again. I begged wolf
to stop, but wolf was in charge.

We
charged, but a figure—a werewolf—threw Perdita out of reach and
kicked us. His strength was awesome, and he sent us flying
backward. Cú tried to protect Perdita again, but his attempt was
pathetic compared to wolf’s strength. Wolf would put him out of his
misery.

Then,
Byron pounced on me, pinning me under him as his strength
outmatched my wolf’s. Wolf was only distracted from our prey by the
scent of enemy in the distance. Strange werewolves were watching
us, and I realised the danger. They knew, or at least had an idea
that everything had changed.

“
Calm down!” Jeremy’s hands pinned me down until only grass and
muck filled my eye line. They had taken turns trying to control me,
but wolf refused to bow for any of them. Byron snarled as he stood
over me, but he ran off as soon as my grandfather took over.
Heaving, I stopped struggling as my wolf eventually succumbed to
the others.

They
lifted me, and as they carried me away my line of sight changed. I
saw Nathan on the ground next to Cú, and Byron lying next to him.
Even my wolf gave a little whimper at the sight of them.

Jeremy
and Opa carried me into the shed and threw clothes in after me,
locking the door behind them. Wolf and I paced in agitation, and I
could sense her taking some of the pain from me, shouldering more
than her fair share of the headaches. But she wouldn’t let me go.
She wouldn’t allow me to be back in charge. I struggled to think of
a way to control wolf. Would I be like this forever?

The door
opened, and my grandfather filled the doorway, meat in his hands.
The raw steak made my mouth water, and wolf made a snuffling sound,
knowing he would give if we obeyed. He laid the food on the ground
in slow, careful movements, but he eyed us warily.

“
You’ll be fine once she’s fed,” he said before closing the
door behind him. We howled, and I could smell him outside still. A
growling sound startled me, but I soon realised it was my
stomach—our stomach—making the noise. We sniffed the air curiously,
and the scent of raw meat caught our attention.

A piece
of me felt repulsed when we pulled a chunk of meat into our mouth,
but that piece was quashed by the sheer need wolf had to eat. To
consume. To heal. We were hurting for lack of food, and as soon as
the meat was gone, we felt better. The relief was astounding. For
the first time in weeks, the pain in my head subsided. What the
hell? Headaches from lack of food? Or lack of raw meat. Wolf didn’t
share my shudders of disgust.

Satiated,
she relaxed, allowing me back in full control again. I closed my
eyes and wished to be human again. Nothing happened. Frustrated, I
snarled, and the door opened immediately.

Opa.

I whined
at him and pawed the ground, trying to make him understand. I was
stuck. I had no idea what I was doing. He cocked his head to the
side before approaching, still cautious. He reached out his hand,
and I flinched. He made a shushing sound before grabbing a fistful
of my hair. No, my fur.

“
Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Let go. She’s part of you. Work
with her. Worrying will make it harder. Panicking will hold you
hostage.”

He sat
down, still gripping my fur. It didn’t hurt, but it felt
uncomfortable. He was making sure I couldn’t run… or attack. With
his other hand, he stroked my head as if to calm me. A memory hit
me. After the death of my parents, Nathan and I had been sent to
live with my grandparents. For months, I was afraid of the dark.
Opa would pet my hair to help me sleep, telling me stories in a
low, soothing voice that made it impossible to stay awake until the
end of the tale.

“
Don’t resist it when the change comes, or it will hurt more.
Try to clear your mind. Take deep breaths, and distract yourself by
picking something outside of you to focus on. It will be a natural
transition soon. I’ll be outside. I’ll wait for you.”

The urge
to roll over on my back almost killed me. No way. No freaking way
was I acting like a puppy in front of him. He left me then, looking
almost proud, and I was alone again. Even wolf had quietened. All I
had to do was calm down.

I lay
down, my brand new snout between my brand new paws, and closed my
eyes. I listened instead, and the entire world opened up. I could
hear, really hear, for the first time. My grandfather’s heartbeat
outside. Someone coughing nearer the house. Rustling in the
undergrowth next to the shed. Being able to hear the smallest
sounds was all kinds of awesome. I wanted more.

I howled
as loudly as I could, feeling a release of tension with the sound.
Wolf grew excited, but I was behind the wheel. No way was I letting
her drive again. Opa opened the door, and I pounced, knocking him
down and leaping right over him.

I
stretched my legs into the fastest sprint I had ever experienced,
the wind running through my fur, and that’s when I felt it.
Freedom. It was worth the pain. A wolf barked to my right, and I
swerved to avoid it, giggling inside as I realised it couldn’t keep
up. I bounded in circles, twisting my body to keep out of the way
of Opa and now Jeremy, too. I heard Jeremy’s grunt of frustration
at my speed and sensed his infuriation at being outdone by me, a
newbie wolf. Oh, that felt great.

Eventually, I began to wheeze and slow down. I flopped to the
ground and rolled in the grass, feeling everything as though I had
grown a billion new nerve endings. The others kept their distance,
still trying to figure out if I intended to murder anyone. But I
was done. I trotted back to the shed, nudged the door a little to
give me some privacy, and lay down, still panting
heavily.

I
imagined wolf to be a coat and pictured myself unzipping the
wildness and shrugging her off. She was still there, but I would
choose when to wear her. I closed my eyes and felt my bones twitch.
I panicked and everything stopped immediately, but I knew I had to
go through with it or the change would get harder and harder to
deal with. I didn’t want to be taken unawares ever
again.

My body
shifted and twisted, the cracking sounds making me flinch more than
the actual aching of change. It was over within minutes, and I, in
human form, got to my feet, a little unsteady, but okay. I dressed
and headed outside, a little smug at how well I had
done.

And then
the nausea hit. I fell to my knees and retched, my stomach
completely emptying itself. Laughter rang in my ears, but I
couldn’t look up. With streaming eyes and an aching belly, I felt
wretched.

“
Serves you right,” Jeremy said. “After all of that showing off
you did earlier.”

“
You’ll get used to this part,” Opa said reassuringly, but I
noticed neither of them came any closer to me.

“
I’m dying,” I said, spitting the last of the vile taste out of
my mouth.

“
You’re not dying. We all go through this.”

“
That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I straightened, and the
world seemed more vivid than before. “Wow. Is this what it’s always
like? Everything looks so different.”

“
I remember that,” Jeremy said. “It’s a kick,
right?”

My sense
of smell wasn’t as good, but it was still better than before
everything changed.