Aerenden: The Child Returns (Ærenden) (34 page)

“Meaghan,”
May warned from across the room, but Miles held up his hand, halting her. His
eyes remained on Meaghan.

“That’s
fair,” he said. “Nick tells us you’ve grown stronger in the days since you left
Earth, and you’re ready to be Queen, but it’s difficult for us to accept.
You’re little more than a stranger to us.”

“As
are you to me,” Meaghan told him. “But our safety depends on us communicating,
and at least attempting to trust each other.”

Miles
nodded. “That’s also fair. In the interest of that trust, I’ll be frank with
you. Nick’s status as your Guardian is our decision. As Queen, you have
authority over us on many things, but not this. If we feel he needs to be
replaced, we’ll replace him.”

“I
would prefer you didn’t.”

“I
understand you’re comfortable with him, but we have your safety in mind. And
Nick’s. From what he’s told us, you have a tendency of seeking out danger.”

Meaghan
frowned. “That’s not his fault. I can be headstrong, but I’m getting better at
listening to him.”

“It’s
his job to protect you,” Sam pointed out. “Even if it’s against your will. If
you didn’t listen to him, he should have stopped you anyway. Like when you
saved that village boy. Nick never should have let you get close to the
Mardróch. A Guardian should have more control over his charge.”

The
village boy? Meaghan wondered and then realized he meant Aldin. He had told
them about her rescue attempt, but not how it had ended. She deferred to Nick’s
decision to keep Faillen a secret and deflected from the incident, taking a
gamble she hoped would pay off. She directed her next question at May, seeking the
woman’s alignment in protecting her son. “Was my mother so easy to control?”

May’s
cheeks flushed in embarrassment, but she answered. “No,” she said. “She
bypassed my efforts to protect her more times than not.”

“Yet
you remained her Guardian, as I sense you feel Nick should stay as mine.”

May
nodded. “Nick has kept you safe, like I always kept Adelina safe.”

“Until
her demise,” Angus said. His words shot pain through May and she looked away.
“If the Elders had replaced you,” he continued, “do you suppose Adelina would
still be alive?”

“I
couldn’t have stopped that,” May argued, though Meaghan felt doubt in her. “Even
if I did have better control over Adelina, I was fighting the army at the
perimeter, like nearly everyone else. None of us knew Garon had assigned us
there to further his plan. Even Vivian didn’t get her vision until it was too
late to save them.”

“We
all know that,” Sam said and took May’s hand in his. “Don’t let Angus rile you.
You were always good at protecting Adelina and she appreciated it.” He squeezed
May’s hand before letting it go and then addressed Meaghan. “There’ll be a full
debate before Nick is removed, if he is. We don’t take these decisions
lightly.”

“Good,”
Meaghan said.

“I’m
glad you agree.” Sam narrowed his eyes. “And if it helps, I’m not entirely
convinced you’re controllable. As strong as I used to be before old age caught
up with me, the most I could’ve done in Nick’s position is shut you up.”

“Shut
me—?” Meaghan started to ask, but despite her best efforts, she could not
finish the sentence. She spoke the word, but no sound left her throat.

“You
knew to ask May that question because you were reading her emotions,” Sam said.
“As an old man, I value respect, so I’ll make a deal with you. If you stop
using your power, I’ll stop using mine. We’ll try the trust route and keep you
in the loop and you’ll stop spying on us. Deal?”

Meaghan
nodded and Sam released her voice before turning to Nick and grinning. “Bet you
wish you had that power.”

“Some
days,” Nick admitted and turned his power on fully, acknowledging the deal
Meaghan had made. “Though I think mine’s been more helpful so far.”

“Agreed,”
Miles said. “And it could continue to be until she learns to control her power.
We’ll take that into account when we make our decision.” He stood and clutched
his hands behind his back. “Before we can do anything else, there is one other
thing we need to address.”

Meaghan
leaned back against the couch, working hard not to give in to her panic. She
did not need her power to know what would be coming next.

“What
is it?” she asked, hoping she was wrong.

“Nick
told us you may want to abdicate.”

And
there it was. Decision time had come.

“If
you do, it’s your right,” Miles continued. “But you have to tell us now. If we
introduce you to the people, if we raise their hopes, you won’t be able to back
out. These people have been through enough. If their Queen returned to them,
only to leave them later, their spirit would not survive. And neither, in turn,
would they. Holding their resolve and their hopes together in this war has been
delicate. We can’t allow you to disrupt that.”

Meaghan
pressed her lips together and wished her decision would spring from her without
thought. It did not. Nor did it readily come to mind. Her grief still sat like
a stone in her heart. The sorrow she had felt while watching Dell die in the
ravine still gripped her. The physical pain that had ripped through her during
much of her journey, the emotions that had overwhelmed her while watching the
battle, the worry she felt for Nick’s safety
—
it all swelled within her and begged her to take the
escape she had been offered. If she abdicated, if she allowed someone more
experienced to take over, if she walked away from the horror of this world,
what harm would come of it? None she could see. And perhaps everyone could gain
from her decision. This world would have the leader it needed, and she could go
back to Earth. The last thought stalled her breath, but she could not decide if
joy or fear had caused the reaction.

“People
have seen me already,” she responded. “How do you plan on telling them I
abdicated?”

Miles’
gaze turned hard. “We wouldn’t. People only saw you running through the
village, heading toward the Healer. As far as they know, you’re injured. We can
sneak you out tonight and tell them you died. You’d become a martyr to them.”

“Where
would I go?”

“Back
to Earth.”

“And
Nick?”

“Would
be reassigned here. Since you would no longer be royalty, you would forego any
protection.” She nodded and Miles frowned. “Is that your decision then? Are you
abdicating?”

Home,
she thought, and swallowed the immediate reaction to say yes to his question.
She wanted the comfort of it again, but would it ever be the same? She had no
family left except for Nick, and he would have to stay here. He would be safer,
though, and he would never have to explain the wedding. The Mardróch might
follow her, but she doubted she would be worth the effort without her title.
She would live a safe life, a life in the world she knew. But what would she do
with her life? Go back to school and follow a career path she no longer felt
certain she wanted?

“You
can’t,” a voice spoke from the stairs. It came out as no more than a whisper,
but all heads turned toward it. Abbott clutched the railing, his knuckles as
white as his face, his body shaking, but his eyes remained steady on Meaghan’s.
“I’ve seen it,” he spoke again. “I’ve seen it both ways. She showed it to me.”

“Who
did?” Nick asked.

“Vivian,”
Abbott told him. “I’m a Dreamer. That’s how I got away from the village. I
dreamed of the attack the night it happened. I got out a few steps ahead of the
army. I was faster than they were, but the poison is delivered in darts.” He
turned his gaze to May for a moment and she nodded, accepting his unspoken
gratitude. His attention drifted back to Meaghan. “You can’t leave us to die.”

“I
don’t understand,” Meaghan said. “Vivian is dead.”

“She
sent the message a month ago,” Abbott responded. “She didn’t want you to waste
her sacrifice.”

Meaghan
stiffened. Her eyes grew hot with tears. “You don’t know me. How can you assume
I’d forget what she did? How could you,” a hand gripped her arm, stopping her
from continuing. She looked from the familiar fingers to Nick’s face.

“Meaghan,”
he said, and the use of her full name tightened the tension in her stomach.
Although she knew he could not use her nickname in front of the Elders, it felt
as wrong as everything else right now. “Dreamers are similar to Seers only they
can’t receive predictions during the day like Seers can. They receive them in
their dreams. And unlike Seers, they can receive direct messages from Seers or
other Dreamers. Vivian reached out to him because she wanted to get a message
to you. She knew he would be here now, when you needed to make this decision.
She wanted you to make the right one.”

She
nodded and then faced Abbott again, forcing her next question past a throat too
tight and too dry for proper use. “What did you see?”

“I
saw the results of your decision,” he told her. “Both sides. If you choose to
leave, you’ll be safe on Earth, but the kingdom will be sacrificed. Garon will
annihilate those who don’t support him. I’ve seen the bodies of everyone in
this room, lost in battle. But if you choose to stay, the kingdom will reclaim
its glory and Garon will be defeated. I’ve seen,” he hesitated, his eyes
flicked to Nick for a brief second, and then moved back to her. No one else in
the room caught the movement. “Your King,” he continued, “sitting on the throne
during his coronation and I see the joy of the people as they watch it.”

“And
what of Meaghan?” Nick asked. “Is she there?”

“I
wasn’t given that vision,” he answered, though Meaghan felt a chill at his
response. “I have no doubt she’ll succeed if she chooses to stay.”

But
she may not live, Meaghan realized and tore her eyes from Abbott to search the
room. The hope she saw on May’s face reminded her of Faillen, of the hope that
had emanated from him when they shook hands to seal their pact. Sam balanced on
the edge of his seat, anxious as he watched her. He would be ready to die for
her, as Dell had. She closed her eyes over the memory. She understood then, as
she saw clearly now, the extent of Dell’s sacrifice. The happiness she had felt
within him when he recognized her still haunted her. She opened her eyes and
made her decision, the same one she knew Vivian had made years before. It did
not matter if she lived or died. It only mattered that they succeeded in
defeating Garon. Hundreds of thousands of lives would be spared in exchange for
hers. Hundreds of thousands of futures would be allowed to continue. And a King
worthy of their respect would lead them.

She
brought her attention back to Miles and said the words she knew would change
the course of her life forever.

“I
am the Queen of
Ærenden,” she
announced. No doubt remained within her. “I have returned to take my rightful
place and I will lead my people to victory.”

M
ILES INTRODUCED
her as Queen Meaghan that night in the village. White lights lined the
shops surrounding the main courtyard at the center of town, sparkling in unison
with the crowd’s cheers and applause. The clock hanging over the town hall
chimed in celebration. And as Nick had promised, a feast followed the formal
announcement. Several spits lined the town square. A boar roasted on one, a
deer on another, and an enormous buffalo weighted down a third. Tables
surrounded the spits, each laden with platters of food. There was more than she
could ever have tasted. Well-wishers and proud cooks handed vegetables, fruit,
breads, and even desserts to her. She did her best to eat everything, but soon her
stomach could hold no more.

As
Nick had also told her, only half the people bowed to her. It still felt like
too many. She nodded until she thought her head would jump off her neck and
then exhaled a sigh of relief when a band started playing. Joyful tunes filled
the air from a variety of instruments she did not recognize and a few she did.
An old man danced around with a banjo in his hand. A young woman adeptly
fiddled away, her eyes bright as her fingers blurred across the strings. A boy
who seemed no older than thirteen mesmerized the crowd with a trumpet. And
Miles joined in on a guitar.

As
tables disappeared from the courtyard, people began dancing. Some dances
Meaghan did not recognize, though their effortlessness spoke of generations of
teaching. Everyone moved in unison, choreographed from tradition and flawless
from habit. Other dances seemed no different from what she had learned on
Earth.

When
a fast dance resembling a waltz circled the impromptu dance floor, Nick took
her arm and insisted she join him. He led her around, the pressure of his hands
light, his step graceful, and she did her best to follow. She had never been
good at dancing, but the grin on his face kept her going. It also lightened the
darkness that had shadowed her mind since her meeting with the Elders. Her
decision, now final, felt like iron chains binding her soul. She knew she had
made the right choice, but that knowledge did not ease her burden. Meeting the
villagers tonight had only added to that weight, putting faces to the
responsibility and lives to the kingdom she now directed.