After Forever Ends (12 page)

Now knowing the situation in full, Oliver began making it a point to invite Lucy along on some of our day trips when he came up North. Lucy adored him almost as much as I did.

“Is he coming here tonight?” She’d ask on Friday, her eyes twinkling, “I don’t have anything to do tomorrow if he’s going to be here then, either! Can I come along with you two? Do you mind?”

Sometimes I did mind, but I took her along anyway. She was, after all, my sister and I was supposed to want to black her eye every once in a while.

We did all of our shopping that day with Ana, giggling and being silly as girls are known to do when set loose in a department store with their father’s credit card. I didn't go mad with it, though. I was frugal even then when it came to money and could stretch a pound further than dough.

Ana noticed it. As we were standing in the middle of the cosmetic section in a department store she turned to me, “Silvia, you have such lovely skin. You should start taking care of it now. Let me buy you some cream, Sweetie. It's never too early to start moisturising!” She took my chin in her hand and smiled, “And we'll get you a good cleanser as well, nothing harsh. Always make it a point to pamper yourself. It's most likely that nobody else is going to do it for you, so you have to do it for yourself. No matter what, always remember that you deserve it.”

I hung on her every word. Everything I knew about being female I'd learned from magazines. Having my period for the first time was terrifying. It wasn't that I was not aware of what was going on, but it was shocking to wake up and have my knickers and sheets covered in blood. I'd panicked and had my dorm mate go and get the house mother.

She'd been rather mean about it. “Congratulations. You're a woman now. Here,” She tossed a box of cheap maxi pads at me, “Go have a shower and clean up. Then come back and strip your bed. You'll have to do your wash.” Then she'd left me standing there all soaked and in tears.

It was my father's way of helping me out, buying me subscriptions to young girl's magazines and having them sent to my school. So I knew how to care for my hair and I knew how to apply my makeup. It didn't matter what clothes were in fashion as I wore uniforms ninety-five percent of the time. But with all the knowledge those magazines gave me, I knew nothing of what it was to be a woman. From the moment we met, Ana showed me how to smell pretty and be soft from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

That day at the department store she brought me in front of a mirror and stood with me. “Look at yourself, Silvia. You're such a pretty girl, but you can be more.” She brushed my hair back with her fingers, “The trick to being a woman is it's effortless. The trick to being beautiful is that the effort never ends. Just don't ever let anybody see how hard you work for it.” She looked into my eyes through my reflection in the mirror, “Being beautiful is the most powerful position in the world. Part of it is your face. Part of it is your breasts. The most of it is your heart. Never allow anybody to take your heart for granted, especially not my son.”

When we were through shopping that day and she'd filled a bag with beauty supplies for me, the three of us had lunch in an upscale pub. Neither Lucy nor I were used to such luxury, but Ana seemed to think nothing of it. I watched her, casual and relaxed, and I realised suddenly that I didn't have to be tense and shy. I could sit and smile as easily as she did. I could be like her. Comfortable in my own skin like she was in hers. Beautiful like she had said. Beautiful like her.

When our lunch was over we took a walk through a city garden and then made the drive home to Welshpool. Ana did her favourite thing and made tea. Lucy chattered non-stop, but I didn't listen to her. I watched Ana instead, trying to set into my mind how she did things and the way she moved.

When Alexander came through the door a few hours later, Lucy popped right up, ran over and threw her arms around him. He looked a bit stunned, but recovered quickly and hugged her back. “Hi, Lucy!” He said smoothly, “It’s nice to meet you, too!”

She saw Oliver stride in behind him and turned candy apple red. She let Alex go. It was obvious she’d forgotten Oliver was a twin. “Oh, my!” She whispered.

“Little Lucy Cotton!” Oliver cried, dropping his car keys on to the floor and not bothering to pick them up, “Where’s my hug then?” Lucy looked even more embarrassed as Ollie gave her a tight squeeze. He bent and kissed the top of her head, “So you met my brother, yeah?” He asked casually, then whispered, “Don’t worry about mixing us up, Sweetie. It happens all the time. Even our own mum does it sometimes. We look just alike, don’t we?”

Lucy looked hopelessly at Ana, who smiled and nodded. “Yes, you do,” Lucy smiled.

“I’m better looking, of course,” Alexander boasted, “That’s the easy way to tell who‘s who.”

“Yeah,” Oliver agreed, absently stroking her hair as he turned away, “He’s really the good looking one.” He came over to me and lifted me up, kissed me and whispered in my ear the same thing he always said. Then he set me down, smiled and announced, “We’re going to have so much fun!”

Oh, and that weekend was fun, too. I remember it like it was yesterday. After my sister got over her embarrassment at confusing the twins, she took to Alexander like she’d known him her whole life, but she still got mixed up when he and Oliver were in a room together. The frustration almost sent her to tears.

“I’ll tell you what,” Alex offered with an easy smile, “I’ll wear blue the whole weekend so you know which one I am!”

“OK! Since Oliver is Sil's boyfriend, can I be your girlfriend this weekend?” She giggled.

“Well, I sort of have a girlfriend…”

“Try three.” A voice came from the other room.

“Very funny, Mum!” Alexander called over his shoulder, then turned back to my sister, “No, seriously, Lucy, I have a girl at school that might be my girlfriend, but since she’s not here, you and I can have a date weekend. Is that all right?”

Lucy giggled again, “Sure!”

With as quickly as Alexander became annoyed with people, I thought for sure Lucy would begin to bother him, but he didn’t seem to mind her. He played with her, but not in a bad way. He played with her exactly the way she wanted him to. She was the princess and he was the handsome prince who was going to take her to a ball. I've said it a million times, but for all his foul temper, Alexander had more good in him than bad. He was just so frightening sometimes that people were too scared to find that out before he sent them scurrying like mice for cover.

Oliver and Alexander had wanted to take us to see a play that evening, but they’d been too late to get tickets. We went to the cinema instead and saw an American film so horrible I’ve never forgotten it. I couldn’t tell you the name of it or what it was about, but I remember who starred and I remember that we left midway through and
went to get a bite at an all-night café. It was a darkly painted little place, barren of any genuine personality, with bright florescent lighting and black table tops.

The boys obviously knew the waitress.

“Oh shit!” Alexander shifted in his chair. He quickly tossed his arm around the back of Lucy's seat and slouched toward her as if to read off her menu.

Oliver noticed this odd behaviour and looked over his shoulder. He turned back to his brother and raised his brows. They stared into each other's faces, another of their silent conversation passing between them. Neither moved or made a sound until Alex frowned and dropped his eyes. Oliver sniggered and flipped open his menu. His brother made a sound in his throat that was something between a cough and a pig's snort.

The waitress apparently had a history with Alex. A pretty girl, she marched up to the table, set a hand on her hip and glared at him, “So you’ve given up on older women and moved on to elementary school students, eh?” She demanded.

“I’m not in elementary school,” Lucy told her irritably.

Alex looked slightly uncomfortable. Slouched low in his chair, he raised his dark eyes to meet hers. “She’s a friend.”

“Well, Little Girl,” She looked at my sister, “Watch out for your friend.”

Oliver slapped his hands on the table and looked around in irritation, “Can we have another server?” He called, “Please? Send out the cook even! Anybody will do! This one‘s mental!”

“Mental?” She demanded, “Your brother...”

“Shut it!” Oliver snapped rudely, his eyes wide and his brows nearly touching his hair line. There was a great pause where he slowly waved his finger at her as if he were warding off an evil spirit. He shook his head slowly from side to side. “What's done is done!” He continued, “The past is the past! All of that! It's time to get on with your life!” Then slapped his hand flat on the table again and twisted in his chair. “Sir!” He called to a man standing behind the counter, “Another server! Now! Please!”

It was Alexander's turn to snigger. He covered his smile with his hand, but the glee in his eyes simply sparkled. The girl gave him a filthy look, huffed and stomped away. A moment later another waitress without an attitude appeared.

We had a pleasant meal and quite a few giggles, even though Alexander thoroughly inspected his food several times for any signs of sabotage before he ate it and Oliver spilled his Coke all over the table twice.

“Damn the gravity!” He swore.

When we got home, the four of us sat in the dining room and played cards until Lucy couldn’t keep her head up. Refusing to go to bed, she followed Alex into the living room and sat down in front of the tele, staring at the screen with eyes I am not sure were actually seeing.

Oliver led me by the hand through the kitchen and out into the garden to look at the stars. That lasted about fifteen seconds. After an extended groping session on the bench in the back garden that was ended when his mother let the dog outside, I woke Lucy, who was now zonked on the sofa, and brought her upstairs where I tucked her into bed with me in the guest room.

We lie there whispering to each other in the darkness.

“I'm so glad you're here,” I told her honestly.

“Me, too. You know Oliver loves you?”

“Do you think so?” I could see her in the moonlight. Her face was turned toward me, but her eyes were closed and her mouth was slack.

“I know he does.”

“Go to sleep, Lucia,” I giggled and kissed her cheek.

I lie there awake for a long time after she took my advice, listening to the sounds of the house and wondering what it must have been like to have grown up there.

The next morning the four of us took the car to Brecon Beacons and spent the day wandering the trails. We had dinner in a lovely little pub in
Llangynidr.
We then journeyed South to Ebbw Vale to meet up with the twins’ cousin, Karenna, who had rang the boys the night before and invited us to a do her friends were having in the middle of an empty sheep pasture. “It’s going to be banging!” I could hear her voice over the phone, even though I was a chair away from Alex, who was speaking to her. “Everybody’s coming! I haven’t seen you two in forever! I can’t wait!”

I had never met Karenna before, although she had been mentioned from time to time with fondness by Ollie and his family. She was the same age as Oliver and Alex, the oldest child of Ana’s younger brother and she turned out to be one of the nicest people I had ever met. Short, light haired and sweet natured as she could be, she looked similar to Ana with her baby doll complexion and a lovely smile, although she was already a bit pissed by the time we go there.

“My God!” She exclaimed, looking me up and down, “You’re fucking gorgeous, Love! Look at you! You look like bloody Kate Winslet or something!” I didn’t look like Kate Winslet at all, but it was a good compliment, so I thanked her. “What are you doing with these two pieces of crap?” She demanded as she laughed and hugged Alexander, “I’m glad you’re with Oliver and not this one! Oliver’s bad enough, but this one’s awful!” She turned and drew Oliver into a deep embrace, but she turned her face to me, “No, really, they’re wonderful chaps, aren’t they? Both of them! My two favourite scuzzes…I mean cousins…”

I’d never seen so much liquor in one place. There were literally barrels of it lying about and tubs filled with ice and bottles of all sorts. People had driven their cars up into the grass and were sitting on bonnets and rooftops with their radios going, shouting and talking and laughing with each other. Loads of couples were getting off all over, writhing in the grass.

“Isn’t their sheep shit on the ground?” I asked Ollie as we walked hand in hand around to see who was attending.

Oliver laughed, “Drink enough alcohol and I don’t think you’d consider it.”

We made our way around the lot. It was astounding how many people Oliver and Alexander knew. A lot of them were former Bennington students or rugby opponents from different schools. We were hailed to chat several times. I was surprised to see so many of our classmates there as well, including Josh McGuigan, who was drunk off his arse. He ran up and threw his arms around Alexander, “No bangers on you tonight, Buttie?” His heart was obviously overflowing with intoxicated infection. He turned to Oliver, “And buttie! Which one of you is which? Do I care? Not really!” He let go, shoving him by the head, “Aren’t you going to have a drink, Mate?”

“I’m Oliver and no,” Ollie shook his head, “I’m driving.”

“Good man then!” Josh grinned, drooling slightly, “Well, what about you, Alexander?”

“Nope,” Alex had his hand on my sister’s shoulder, “I’ve got to keep an eye on my girl.”

The smile that spread across Lucy’s face could have lit the night ablaze.
Oh, no!
I remember thinking,
Lucy really has fallen in love with Alexander!
Oh, the thought was terrifying. I thanked God she was only eleven years old. Four more years and Alex might have had her pinned down in the back seat of the car. The thought gave me shivers.

We sat for quite a while with Joshua and some mates from school, Connor and Malcolm McCrary. They were brothers who had relocated from Ireland, not twins, but born on the same day a year apart. They were nice boys and I was glad that they were there because Peggy McGhee was as well. She sat in the bed of someone’s truck with Amber Monahan and Serena McLaughlin, staring me down as much as they could without giving themselves away as bitches in front of the boys. I stared right back, not a bit afraid of giving myself away as a bitch to anyone.