After the Abduction (28 page)

“You can hardly blame yourself for not knowing the circumstances ahead of time,” Juliet murmured.

Glancing over, he noted her calm, unreadable expression. Yet sympathy showed in it, too, which encouraged him to continue.

“So I told Crouch the truth—that I was Morgan’s brother come in search of him. That’s when he recognized the advantages of having me in his power.” Walking to the fireplace, he poked at the coals. “He had this…blasted stupid plan he needed carried out by someone who could pass for a gentleman. He wanted to kidnap you, and thought it might be more successful if it were worked as an elopement. He said if I’d help him, he’d release Morgan. He let me think he had Morgan prisoner.”

“The scoundrel!”

“My sentiments exactly.” Sebastian faced her. “I wanted to have him carted off to the magistrate and forced to tell me. But I couldn’t risk Morgan’s life, and Crouch had me in his power.”

“So you did as Crouch asked and kidnapped me,” she whispered in an aching voice.

His gaze shot to her. Hurt welled in her eyes, hurt that he’d chosen to protect his brother at the cost to her reputation. It drove a stake through his heart. “There was more to it than that,” he said hastily. “Crouch was determined to kidnap you, with or without my help. Since I thought I couldn’t go to the authorities, I had nowhere to turn. After one look at his companions, I knew I’d never let a defenseless young woman fall into their hands. I figured if I were the one to take you, I could protect you, and in the bargain obtain Morgan’s release.”

“And Helena and Daniel?” she said indignantly. “What
about them? Didn’t you even consider that other people might be harmed in your little scheme?”

He certainly deserved
that
blow. “When it came to your relations, I confess I miscalculated. I truly believed Lady Helena would wait in Warwickshire for word of our supposed marriage. You must admit she isn’t the sort to risk a scandal or go running after her relatives. You repeatedly assured me of that on our way south.” He drew himself up stiffly. “Besides, I got them out safely, too, didn’t I?”

“They got themselves out,” she corrected him. “Though I suppose they couldn’t have if you hadn’t looked after me.”

It was deuced hard to gauge what she thought when she sat so still with the ends of the sheet clutched in her delicate fists. There wasn’t a hint of how she felt.

It worried him. “I did what I thought I had to.” He ached to make her understand, to cut through her shield of quiet accusation. “I truly believed Crouch had Morgan at that point. Crouch showed me Morgan’s pistol as proof, the one
I
had designed especially for him when he was here. Morgan would never have given it up without a fight. So I thought Crouch would kill Morgan if I didn’t do what he wanted. After all, the man was called the King of the Smugglers and spent most of his time armed to the teeth.”

When she merely gazed past him to the fire, frustration made him desperate. “I only learned
after
I’d brought you to Sussex that Morgan wasn’t in Crouch’s power any more.” He scrubbed his face with both hands. “Even then, everything might have been different if I’d known that Morgan had joined the smugglers at the Home Office’s behest, to spy on them.”

That got a reaction from her at last. “What? He wasn’t even a smuggler?” she said in surprise.

He shook his head. “I should have realized Morgan wouldn’t turn his back on his family and country for some
thing like that. If I had, I could’ve just gone to the Home Office or the navy for help with Crouch. But all I knew was that Morgan was mixed up with a gang of smugglers. I had to conceal that so he wouldn’t be caught and hanged.”

“And by then you had me to bargain with,” she said coolly.

He flinched. “Yes, for all the good it did. Even though I learned that Crouch had paid to have Morgan imprisoned aboard a merchant ship and carried off God knows where, Crouch refused to tell me when and on what ship. He wanted his ransom money first, and I needed his information to track Morgan’s journey. So I had to see the whole thing out.”

“Why didn’t you simply offer him a ransom of your own for Morgan?” She still refused to look at him. “Lord knows you can afford it.”

“Actually, I did, but he thought I was inventing my tale of wealth to escape him. I didn’t march into town initially with all the pomp and circumstance of the Right Honorable Lord Templemore, you know. Besides, he didn’t want only money; he wanted revenge on your brother-in-law. And I feared he might take it at the cost to your virtue, if I didn’t stand between you and him.”

Her gaze swung to his, softening infinitesimally. “Which is exactly what you did that day in the caves, and from the beginning. You stood between me and Crouch, between me and all of them.”

Relief rushed through him. She understood. “I couldn’t gain my brother if it meant ruining an innocent young woman. Everything I did was designed both to protect you and find Morgan.”

“And after all that, you lost him anyway, didn’t you?” Compassion flared in her features. “My poor, dear Sebastian.”

Blast, he’d forgotten that she still thought Morgan dead. Yet another lie he must untangle. “For a long while,
I…er…thought I had. When response to my queries brought that letter I showed your brother-in-law, it nearly killed me.” He dragged in heavy, cold air, bracing himself for the rest of the tale, the part she would despise him for. “As it turned out, Morgan wasn’t—isn’t—dead.”

She gazed up at him with wide eyes, clasping the sheet tightly to her chest. “No?”

“No.” He paced restlessly. “A few months ago, the Navy Board came here to reveal that Morgan had been in Sussex at the Home Office’s request, but that he’d recently been spotted aboard a pirate ship, the
Satyr.
No one knows how he escaped the
Oceana
before it sank, or how he ended up on the Pirate Lord’s ship. Unfortunately, he was recognized when the
Satyr
’s crew separated a certain Lord Winthrop from his gold.”

“I don’t imagine Lord Winthrop approved,” she said dryly. “He’s rather fond of his gold.”

He sighed. “Indeed he is. And he set up a hue and cry at the Navy Board for Morgan’s head. They came to me with an offer—Morgan’s life in exchange for the Pirate Lord. They said they would pardon him for piracy if he helped them capture the scourge of the seas. And I agreed to act as go-between…whenever I heard from him.”

“So you still don’t know where he is?”

He shook his head. “He wrote me a letter to say he would come home when he could manage it. I’ve been waiting for his return. And then you showed up.”

She smiled faintly. “With my bloodthirsty relations in tow.”

“Precisely.”

“That’s why you kept hiding the truth—because you were worried about what I might do to you?”

“And what you might convince Knighton to do. I had to be free to arrange Morgan’s pardon, you see.”

She thought on that a moment. “So it was all that simple—the kidnapping and the lying and the games.”

He nodded, holding his breath, waiting for the ax to fall.

“I thought it might be something like that.”

He approached the bed, certain he’d misunderstood her. “What?”

She shrugged. “At first I’d assumed your motive had been financial, even though you hadn’t demanded any of the ransom Crouch wanted. But once we saw the extent of your estate, I had to abandon that idea. I did speculate that you might have come by your wealth through smuggling, but even back then you never seemed much a part of the smugglers. And Griff’s investigator learned that you’d never joined any other gang.”

Sitting down next to her, he chose his words carefully. “So you’re not angry.”

Her clear eyes met his. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“The answers to some questions.”

His heart sank. He should have known he wouldn’t escape so easily. “Ask away.”

For the first time since he’d begun his explanations, he glimpsed uncertainty in her face. “When you first came to Stratford, you…approached Helena. Why? I daresay if she hadn’t been so suspicious of men in general, you and I might not be sitting here having this discussion, for she would have been the one to go with you.”

She looked so vulnerable that his heart lurched in his chest. “I doubt that. It wasn’t in your sister’s character to elope. I figured that out soon enough.”

She sighed. “But you could tell that it was in my character.”

A sticky point, and he could see how she’d view it. But he wasn’t about to prevaricate now. “Back then you were a romantic soul, sweeting, and I’ll admit that I thought you’d be easier to influence.” With a frown, she bit her lower lip, and he added hastily, “But I can honestly say I
was relieved when Lady Helena rebuffed my advances. Relieved and alarmed.”

“Alarmed?”

Reaching up, he stroked a line from the apple of her cheek to her lush, sweet lips. “Terrified, more like. I didn’t want to unsettle either of your lives more than necessary. I planned to act the gentleman, and I knew that a long trip with Helena wouldn’t tempt me to misbehave. I knew equally well that a long trip with you would do precisely that.”

Her gaze shot to his. “But throughout that trip you ignored me and treated me like a child. And the one time I asked you to kiss me, you refused flat out.”

“Exactly. The alternative was to lay you out in the carriage and have my wicked way with you.” When she continued to look skeptical, he cupped her cheek, caressing her pouting lower lip with his thumb. “I spent most of that trip burning for you, sweeting. That day you asked me to kiss you…I suffered a thousand agonies imagining what it would be like to bury my hands in your hair, turn your face up to mine, and kiss you senseless. I wanted you from the beginning. Very, very badly. I only felt safe in kissing you when I knew I was leaving you behind. And that’s the honest truth.”

Her eyes slid shut as if to block out the sight of his need. “Then why didn’t you take me with you instead of leaving me? Why didn’t you simply marry me? If you’d told me all of this, I would have forgiven you. I wanted to forgive you then. I wanted to believe in you, even after your betrayal.”

“I had to go look for Morgan, don’t you see?”

“At first, perhaps. But once you heard he was dead, why didn’t you come to me in London and ask me to marry you then?”

“And risk my life? What if I’d told you the truth and you’d decided to drag me through a trial?”

Her eyes flew open, full of outrage. “I wouldn’t have done that!”

“How could I be sure? And even if you didn’t want me hanged, Knighton would have done all he could to see it happen. At the very least, he would have sought to ruin me.” He left the bed and went to stand by the fireplace, bracing his hand against the far end of the mantel as he stared into the flames. “Besides, I knew you were safe and well in London. I figured I had no right to upset you after what I’d done. I wasn’t even sure you would have me. So what point would there have been in disrupting your life?”

“Or yours,” she said dryly.

Glancing back over his shoulder, he said softly, “People depend upon me here, Juliet. This isn’t just about Morgan, you know. I have duties and responsibilities. I couldn’t risk the future of Charnwood because I’d once fancied a pretty girl.”

When she went pale, he realized he shouldn’t have put it quite that baldly. But he stumbled on. “So I thought it best to leave it alone. And once I had Morgan to worry about again, too…Well, I couldn’t risk what you might do. Too much was at stake—my brother, my estate, my life.”

She stared at him uncertainly. “You’re risking all that now. Is it suddenly all right for you to fancy a pretty girl?”

He winced to hear her echo his rash comment. “Our bargain has lessened the risk considerably.” He stared back into the fire. “I trust you to hold to your part. You let me make love to you. I told you the truth. And now you’ll marry me, as we agreed. I know you, Juliet. You wouldn’t have come to my bed if you weren’t half ready to believe that I’d possessed a good reason for my actions.”

Juliet acknowledged to herself that he was right. She’d already guessed he was keeping the truth from her out of concern for what revenge she might take. It wasn’t much of a leap to hear he’d been doing so to protect his brother
and his estate. And she’d already been leaning toward forgiving him entirely. She, of all people, could understand acting to protect one’s family.

But it stung to hear that while she’d been madly in love with him two years ago, he’d merely “fancied a pretty girl.” “You say it’s our bargain that made you decide upon marriage, but that’s not true. You began courting me shortly after we arrived here. It would have made more sense to ignore me and toss us out as soon as possible. Why, after all this time, did you want to marry me when it was such a risk?”

He shrugged. “I’m attracted to you.”

Her stomach tightened into a knot. “That won’t wash. By your own admission, you were attracted to me two years ago, yet you abandoned me then because of your concern for your family and your estate.” She fought past the pain digging into her heart. He’d chosen his responsibilities over her. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did.

A muscle worked in his jaw. “Everything is different now. Your reputation may be in jeopardy. I owe it to you to set things right.”

Drat his noble hide. She’d guessed it might be something perfectly respectable…and devoid of any affection. Swallowing her pain, she forced herself to speak lightly. “So you want to marry me to make up for the kidnapping. A sort of penance, is it?”

He shoved away from the fireplace, eyes alight as he stalked back toward the bed. “No. It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” The raw hurt of unshed tears clogged her throat. “I don’t want to be only some onerous obligation to you.”

“You aren’t! I know you’ll make me a good wife, do your part in the marriage.”

“Wonderful. You’re choosing a wife rather like you pick a pistol. How flattering.”

“No, that’s not—Blast it, why must you twist this into some vulgar trade transaction! What the devil’s wrong with wanting to do the right thing by you?”

She tipped her head up proudly. “I’ll have you know I’m no longer some…some urchin who needs rescuing, either by you or by my family. I want to share my life with somebody who cares for me, not take the crumbs of a man who feels duty-bound to make amends for his mistakes.”