After The Storm (16 page)

However, when the lights of the tavern loomed out of
the darkness and he heard the invitation of the raucous mirth
inside, he felt no real desire to enter.

He did though
. And he drank a bottle of their
best. And he took a plump country pretty upon his knee.

And he felt sick at heart.

~
Ten ~

Ay—there it is! It wakes tonight.

Deep feelings I thought dead;

Strong in the blast—quick gathering light—

The Heart’s flame kindles Red!

—Emily Bronte

JENNY WIPED AWAY the tears and told herself she was
an idiot. Shame had driven her to say things that weren’t true.
What was true was that her husband’s touch, his kisses, had made
her forget Johnny, and that was the meat of the problem.

She had to find a way of dealing with this.

She felt awful and berated herself as a ‘wicked
girl’.
You let him kiss you, and then you struck out at him—all
because of guilt.
Aunt Beth was right. She had to find a way of
getting rid of the guilt.

She simply couldn’t go on feeling this way; it wasn’t
right.

She had to admit to herself why she had agreed to
marry the earl. She knew why now; perhaps she had always known why,
but now she had to face it. Looking back, she believed that she’d
really started to fall in love with him when he told her, the
evening after that first kiss, that he’d thought
himself the
injured party
. She’d seen that he was able to laugh at himself,
seen something in him that spoke directly to who she was, and she
must have known …

“I am in love with Jason of Danfield,” she said right
out loud and tried it on for size.
It fit
. She curled up in
her bed and reminded herself that he was but a flirt. When he had
taken her in his arms and kissed her, touched her, she had hoped he
felt the same, but she wasn’t sure. He had had so many women in the
past; perhaps she was just one more?

All at once, it became too much for her. She couldn’t
think any longer. She didn’t want to, and somehow she drifted off
to sleep.

When she awoke the next morning, she immediately went
to the connecting door and knocked but received no answer. She went
to the wash basin and freshened up. A knock sounded at the hallway
door, and a robust voice called cheerfully, “Would ye be wanting
some help, Lady Danfield?”

“Oh, yes, do come in,” Jenny said and rushed to
unlock the door. “You must be the innkeeper’s wife. How is your
daughter?”

“Oh, ’tis that grand she is, m’lady, her and her baby
boy, thankee for asking.” The full-bodied woman smiled widely.

Jenny was happy for the assistance with her buttons,
and she hurriedly brushed her hair to a gleaming shine before she
plopped a bonnet on her head, and asked, “I, I suppose his lordship
has ordered breakfast belowstairs?”

“Why, no, m’lady. The earl left about ten minutes
ago.”

“I see,” said Jenny, quietly wondering where he had
gone.

“He did order yer breakfast. If ye like I will bring
it up?”

“No, I’ll come down for some coffee, as I’d like to
speak to my driver.”

The woman dropped her a curtsy and ambled out of the
room with Jenny slowly following.

Jenny made her way outdoors and approached the
drivers timidly. “Excuse me, gentlemen. His lordship …” She
saw that his lordship’s gelding was not at the boot with her
Whisper. “Did he give you any message for me?”

“No, m’lady,” said one driver with a deprecatory
cough. “Lord Danfield jest said he was riding on ahead and for us
to bring you along in the carriage.”

Well, Jen
, said that voice in her head,
what did you expect
?
You told him he could go his way and
you would go yours. You held him to the agreement you made. You
hurt his pride as well, so here it is. And is it what you
want?

Jenny sat in the coach for one hour before her dander
got up and made her call to the coachman to stop.

She jumped out of the carriage and asked them to help
her saddle up her Whisper.

“But Gawd, m’lady,” objected one of the drivers, “Oi
don’t think ye want to ride on the open road alone …”

“But I won’t be alone—you will be driving right
behind me. Now, if you please, I would so appreciate it if you
would saddle my horse for me and give me a leg up.”

As he didn’t have a choice, that was precisely what
he did before they watched their lady ride her horse at an easy
trot up ahead.

“Well, Whisper, this is much better than being cooped
up alone inside a coach, don’t you think?” Jenny had an odd
sensation that although the earl was out of sight, he wasn’t far
off and was keeping his coach under some kind of surveillance. They
had come to know one another quite well while closeted together in
the coach, and she rather thought he would not allow any harm to
come to her, no matter what she had done.

However, the notion that this situation would
continue all the way to Danfield Castle was intolerable—especially
when she had been prepared to apologize to him when she went to his
door! She trotted back to her drivers and asked them to wait while
she took a little ride in the woods that ran along the road. She
smiled to herself, sure about what she was doing, and what she was
doing was as much a come-on as she could muster!

* * *

Jenny wasn’t wrong in her summation of the earl, and
he was not so very far ahead. He had, in fact, been backtracking
whenever he felt the coach was overdue. It was tedious and
annoying, and he was frustrated, as more than once all he wanted to
do was forget his pride, jump into the carriage, and be alone with
her, somehow right the wrong and banish the hurt. However, he was a
man, and his pride had been badly scratched and needed tending.

He had reached a milestone finger post and waited.
When the coach did not appear within a few moments, he frowned and
began backtracking. He found his coach and two miserable-looking
drivers standing about. The first thing he noticed was that his
bride was not within the carriage and her horse was not tethered at
the back.

“What the devil?” he demanded.

“Her ladyship had a notion to explore the woods and
asked us to wait—said she wouldn’t be long,” said one of the
drivers dejectedly.

“Explore the woods?” The earl’s voice rose an octave.
“In which direction did she go?” His voice sounded ominous, and the
driver pointed hastily, looking very unhappy.

It didn’t take his lordship long to find her, and as
he pulled his bay gelding up to a walk, he demanded, “Will you tell
me, my lady, where the deuce you think you are going?”

“For a ride, my lord,” she said sweetly and very
nearly batted her lashes at him.

He was taken aback, for she appeared to be in a
frivolous mood. What was happening here? He took in a long drag of
air and said, “You will be kind enough to stop this foolishness and
return to the coach at once.”

“Will I?” she answered a defiant light in her eyes,
though her tone was sweeter still.

He was reminded of his sister’s words. Jenny would
not be a biddable wife. Well, here was the proof of it, and
suddenly he wanted to laugh. However, he had to manage the
situation firmly, didn’t he? So he tried. “Damnation, Jenny, do not
try my patience.”

She clicked to her horse and turned to throw over her
shoulder, “Go to the devil, my lord.”

The earl was after her in a moment. Fury raged
through his blood. This wasn’t how he had seen this journey. He had
hoped to get closer, to woo her, and although this, all of it, was
his fault, he could not allow this to stand.

He was angry with himself, but something made him
direct that anger at her, and he grabbed her reins and pulled her
horse to a stop beside his own. “This has to stop, my lady,” he
snapped. “You are being thoughtless keeping both our horses and our
drivers standing about.”

She lowered her lashes. “I am sorry for that … I
didn’t think that far.”

“No, you did not,” he returned irritably.

His tone, however, made her chin rise, and she looked
so damn adorable that he found himself melting towards her, but
then she said, “Well, it isn’t fair that you can just ride off and
enjoy yourself and I must be cooped up for so long.”

Suddenly he was no longer angry, as the truth of her
words and the picture of her sitting on her horse made him
experience a mixture of remorse and defiance. He steeled himself
against her though and said, “Nevertheless, this is unacceptable.
We must return to the coach and continue our journey. There are
considerations other than your own.”

She looked into his irate face, and her expression
softened. “Yes, indeed, there are, and I am sorry for it, but the
truth is—I simply wanted to get your attention.”

“Well you have it!”

She grimaced at him and said, “Last night … you
left, and then you weren’t about in the morning—”

“Indeed.” He cut her off. “You made it clear how you
felt, and I—what could I do but seek out some consolation?” He
regretted the words as soon as they were out.

She seemed momentarily taken aback and then lowered
her gaze, refusing to look at him as she said, “I see. How foolish
of me to think anything else. How wonderful for you that you were
able to be consoled. I should have realized and not made myself
sick thinking you might have been … affected by what I had
said.” Her hand fluttered near her forehead, and she looked up and
into the woods. “How silly of me. I even went to your door to
apologize …”

Jason Danfield regarded his bride as though she were
suddenly the rope, the only means by which he could escape some
dark, barren hole he had fallen into. The bleakness he had
experienced had been dispelled all at once, and a bright light
seemed to flood his way.

He wanted to lift her off her horse and take her into
his arms. But he knew better. All this had occurred because he had
been too forward too soon.

Last evening he had found the bottle had only served
to make him want her more. The wench made him ill with disgust, and
he had not been able to even flirt with her, let alone take her to
bed, but now Jenny and her simple words made him soar.

“Very well, we will put it behind us,” the earl said,
biting back a smile. “Come then, for we should not keep my horses
or my men standing.”

“How did you seek consolation?” Jenny asked, stealing
a quick glance his way. “I know I have no right to ask,
yet …?”

“I rode to the village tavern and drowned my sorrows
in a bottle, returned to my room, and tossed about most of the
night.” He eyed her. “Does that answer your question.”

She peeped a look at him. “Thank you. It does.”

It wasn’t long after that they were once again
traveling side by side and enjoying a game of cards. They had
spread the rug between them, and the time flew as they enjoyed the
machinations of the game. He found Jenny a cautious gambler who
thought out her moves with quiet skill, but ah, he smiled to
himself, cards relied on luck as well, and luck now appeared to be
on his side!

* * *

He has no idea
, she thought. He had no idea
that she had thoroughly fallen in love with him and in a way that
was so very different than what she had felt for her Johnny.

She and John had roamed about the hills of Devon
freely as friends. They were comfortable with one another, and she
had loved him with all her heart, but this, this all-consuming
feeling was wildly uncontrollable, passionate, volatile, and would
soon need expression. She had to get control over herself, because
the man she loved had
convenience
still on his mind. She
needed to know he felt the same before she gave herself away.

* * *

After a time, the earl looked intently at the
changing scenery and said, “We will be stopping at Lewes Inn for a
bite to eat, and then if you don’t mind, I would like to push on to
the castle.”

“Mind? I can’t wait. I am most anxious to meet
everyone there.”

“I can’t imagine why—but then, there is no accounting
for a woman’s whims.”

She laughed easily and sighed. “Oh, but I do wish we
could get out of this coach and walk and walk …”

He eyed her and teased, “Let me see, what does one
say to a child when it is fretful?’

“Odious, horrid, and absolutely brutal.” She laughed.
“And I am not a child.”

“Hmm,” he said. “Odious, horrid, and absolutely
brutal. I am not certain those words would work to calm a fretful
child,” offered his lordship.

“Oh, you dreadful man.” His wife laughed. “I can see
I will not get any sympathy from you!”

He leaned back and cast a sideways glance at her as
he crossed his arms over his broad chest and said casually, “I
don’t think you realize what a glorious creature you are. Your
eyes—so full with expression, are mesmerizing at times. In fact,
you don’t need words … your eyes say so much.”

“Oh, now you flatter me so that I shall be good and
quiet,” she said and shook her head.

He sat up. “No, not at all …” Then he realized
she was jesting and grinned. They felt the coach slow to a stop and
looked out their window to see the inn.

“Oh, good, I am famished,” said the lady.

Once again, he felt something soar inside him. What
was happening to him? Just what was happening? He couldn’t
contemplate that now, because, bloody hell, it was too
nerve-racking to acknowledge.

~
Eleven ~

Who see’st appall’d th’ unreal scene,

While fancy lifts the veil between;

Ah Fear! Ah Frantic Fear!

I see, I see thee Near.

—William Collins

THE COACH TURNED onto a long drive. Jenny could see
that it had been quite an impressive driveway in its day. Tall oaks
and pine trees lined its curving length, though the overgrown
grasses and weeds that blew in between the trees were a testament
to its neglect.