Aftermath (11 page)

They enjoyed a lovely Christmas Eve dinner at the main hotel and then strolled back to their little house. They talked for hours and fell asleep entwined in each other, like two spoons that fit together perfectly. They were a “single bed” couple. Hope could never understand the couples who liked to separate in the night and have their privacy and distance. King-size, queen-size, full-size; they were too big for Hope and Niall. They wanted to be close. Whenever there were twin beds, they used only one. Many times when they made a hotel reservation, they'd ask for a single bed. The hotel receptionist usually apologised profusely when they'd check in together, assuming of course that an error had been made with their booking. Nobody could quite believe that two people actually wanted to be in the same small bed.

Christmas morning they awoke bright and early and went to a beautiful beach with the most amazing sparkly black sand and white driftwood scattered everywhere.

“You could walk for an hour to the right and an hour to the left on this beach and still not see a living person,” Niall laughed. They were sitting in a rock pool just chatting and relaxing. They spent the whole day on the beach, just the two of them.

The rest of Christmas Day was spent watching old black and white films, such as
“Miracle on Thirty Fourth Street”
and
“
It's a Wonderful Life.
”
It was such a refreshing change to be somewhere warm and sunny and to experience something other than the traditional Christmas at home.

The next day, St. Stephen's Day, they spent exploring along the shore and splashing about in their “secret” rock pool. When the sun began to fade and
the
cool of the evening was setting in, they built a fire and grilled the chicken fillets which they'd taken from the hotel. When the fire died down to a few embers they curled up together on the beach and slept under the stars; their very own single bed.

Their days were pleasantly active and their evenings were quie
t. They played in the water, relaxed
on the warm sand and read. Hope's guilty pleasure was Mills and Boon romance novels which Niall teased her merciless
l
y about. They played tennis and Niall taught her the game of chess and they talked and talked. He told her more about his childhood and how he'd spent most of his early years i
n and out of foster homes. He
didn't know much about his parents; all he knew was what the social workers had told him; that his mother was only a teenager at the time of his birth and couldn't cope with a baby.

“Have you ever tried to find her?” Hope asked, full of sympathy for him. It was obvious that it hurt him deeply to talk about his childhood.

“No, if she really wanted to keep me she would have found a way. She took the easy option and gave me up.”

“You don't know that for sure, darling,” Hope protested. “She was so young when she had you. Maybe she had no choice. Try not to judge her too harshly.”

“You don't know what I've been through,” he snapped, his eyes flashing fire. “You don't have any idea what it's like to be passed from one family to the next, never being in one place long enough to really bond with anyone. I didn't belong anywhere or with anyone and I never felt love
d or wanted as I child. Luckily,
nobody was ever p
articularly mean or cruel to me, but
I always had a pervading sense that I was an outsider, standing on the edge of things, looking in and I blame my mother for that. I was her responsibility and she abandoned me. Why on earth would I want to find her or know anything about her?” His face was full of anger and hurt.

“You don't
know what
her circumstances
were
at the time of your birth,” Hope persisted. “I'm sure she didn't want to give you up.”

“I don't want to waste my time talking or thinking about her,” Niall interjected. “She's my past. I spent enough time wondering why she let me go and I don't want to dwell on her any more. That's why I'm so happy I met you. I feel like we belong together and one day we might have a family of our own.”

Hope kissed him gently and laid her head on his chest. She could feel his strong heartbeat under his shirt and she tried to imagine what it must have been like to be a little boy lost and alone in the world. Her heart ached for him and the obvious pain that he still felt no matter how deep he tried to bury it. Then she thought about the young woman who'd had to give her baby up. No mother would do that without good reason, she knew it. She made a silent promise to herself there and then that she would find Niall's mother and get the answers she felt he needed to get some closure in his life and start to heal.

On New Year's Eve the hotel staff built a magnificent bonfire and along with the other guests, Niall and Hope sat around the fire, eating and chatting. There was no
Champagne
, but they didn't need it; they were drunk on conversation. Niall and Hope never ran out of
conversation.

Hope taught Niall how to bake scones. He loved to eat them as much as he loved to bake them! They got food from the hotel; fresh fish, vegetables and fruit and they cooked it in their little house. They laughed constantly. One day Hope laughed so much that she actually thought she might pee her
swimsuit! Niall was funny, witty,
silly and at the same time tender and caring.

Hope often couldn't believe how caring and patient he could be. Her hair tended to become impossibly knotted and tangled in the sun and salt water. She had put off brushing it, simply washing it and tying it in a tangled knot on top of her head, but the time came when she had to comb it. It hurt and stung her very badly. She had tears of pain and frustration in her eyes when Niall decided to rescue her.

“What's up?” he asked, his face full of concern at her obvious distress.

“I can't get these bloody knots out of my hair!” she cried. “They're so annoying.”

“Follow me,” he took her hand and led her back to the beach. Then he coated her hair in an intensive conditioning treatment and began to gently and patiently comb each strand until her hair was sleek and smooth again. It took him almost two hours to detangle her hair; so kind, gentle and loving he was towards her.

The holiday to Barbados brought them much closer. It was a sort of test in a way, without them even realising it. Hope had experienced infatuation and lust before but after their holiday she knew they had something very special. Passion can come and go, but Hope believed that she and Niall were made for each other. He was her soulmate and forever love.

During the following months they travelled back and forth between Cork and London. Much of Niall's work was based in London and Hope's career was based in Cork, so they did their best to fly to each other as much as possible. They had both made an effort to cut back on their work commitments a little, especially Niall who had begun to learn the art of delegation. He realised that he didn't have to be at every important meeting and that he needed to trust his employees to do the job they'd been hired to do. He still worked, of course, but his pace was a little more leisurely. They spent their days exploring the city; taking long walks in the parks and visiting museums and art galleries, shopping an
d discovering new restaurants.

When they returned home to Cork, they spent their free time at Hope's apartment where they had made an art of doing nothing. He loved to cook her dinner and she insisted on making him breakfast, which usually consisted of nothing more than a black coffee with one sugar!

“I think you've gotten off lightly here, missy,” he would sometimes tease her. “I spend my time slaving over a hot oven to cook you exotic dinners and all you have to do is bring me a coffee in the morning.”

“It's a very special coffee, made with a very specia
l ingredient,” she would smile
flirtatiously in response.

“Really? What might that special ingredient be?”

“Love.”

Every moment they spent together was full of life and love. Even the simplest things were special; rides on the motorbike, cooking dinner, drinking copious cups of tea. Hope had never experienced anything like it with anyone else; to be so close to someone over the simplest things in life. It was pure joy and love. They complemented each other on many levels. They could be silly, sophistic
ated, philosophical, spiritual and passionate. E
verything they did together clicked.

They had crowded so many wonderful things into their brief time together, each with its own particular significance. Hope didn't want to forget any of them.

Niall always made her feel so special, like she was the
most
important person in his life. He loved to spoil her and her thirty-fourth birthday was no exception. She landed at London Heathrow Airport and he said he'd arrange
for a driver to pick her up as h
e was going to be delayed at work. She went through cus
toms, grabbed her bags and passed
through the arrivals doors. Standing at the kerb, beside their limousines were uniformed drivers holding up signs for their clients. Hope searched for her name and spotted one of the drivers who had his hat pulled down low over his face. She almost kept going and then she saw his sign. It read “Hope Gilligan.” She looked more closely at the driver and this time she saw it was Niall, all dressed up in uniform! She could not stop laughing all the way to their hotel. He never failed to make her laugh and oh how she missed him.

Their hotel was beautiful, especially the garden, which was filled with rows and rows of fragrant purple lavender. The food was out of this world; with select cheeses and fine wines. Hope could live on bread and cheese, the wine she left for Niall to enjoy.

When they were together, they created their own little world; a special space that only they occupied. Whenever the stresses and strains of their lives threatened to overwhelm them, they talked about returning to their “bubble.”

Their favourite place for rest and relaxation was in County Sligo in the Northwest of Ireland. It was one of the most amazing places they'd ever seen and it was almost on their doorstep. They loved to stay at a secluded guest house which was located at the edge of a steep cliff and offered spectacular views of the Atlantic Ocean and the mountainous valleys in the far distance. Somehow it seemed as if the guest house was integrated with the landscape; unusual and very beautiful. Once they hired a helicopter
for the afternoon from which gave them
a bird's eye view of the amazing textural changes in the terrain. The different layers have been altering since the Ice Age and the topography has to be seen to be believed.

There was so much to see and do in Easkey; from surfing the huge waves to cliff-top walks and of course freshly caught fish to be devoured in the evenings. It is a timele
ss place of incredible tranquil
ity and outstanding natural beauty. Nothing is rushed there. It was the perfect spot for Niall and Hope's little “bubble.”

Every day they had their own little adventure. They went on a trip to an open farm where the farmer kept sheep and goats and they learned how to make their own goat's cheese. Everything was done by hand. First they milked a goat, and then the milk was left to thick
en for a few days. When the milk
was thick enough, they reached into the bucket, grabbed a hunk in their hands and squeezed out the excess water. Then they took what was left and placed it carefully into a metal ring on a large cooker. They pressed the cheese into the ring and when the ring was full, they sprinkled it with salt and put a clean stone on top to weigh the cheese down. Hope was so proud when she saw the results of her labour. Of course, the cheese should have been aged, but they didn't have the patience to wait and devoured it in one sitting. It was absolutely delicious.

The evenings in Easkey were ju
st as magical as the days. The
sky was so full of stars that it took their breath away. They studied the heavens through a telescope and saw a comet crash and burn. It was awe-inspiring to be up close and personal to nature and both of them were transformed by the entire experience. Hope wondered now, when she thought back on that magical time, if the comet was indeed a warning sign of the bad luc
k that lay in her future.

Hope trusted Niall implicitly. She felt she could tell him anything and trust him with
her innermost secrets, but there
was one secret that she was too ashamed to share with him. Everything was so wonderful between them. They had learned to balance their work with their personal lives and yet there was a small dark cloud hanging over them, something about which Niall knew nothing. Hope didn't realise herself how dangerous a situation she had gotten herself into.

It was impera
tive to her career that she kept
her figure neat and trim, but the older she got, the more difficult she found it to maintain. It seemed that no matter how much she watched her portion sizes or how long she exercised she was fighting a losing battle with her weight. She wasn't anorexic or bulimic; she never starved herself or threw up to stay slim, but she did do something and she started doing it just before she met Niall.

Slowly, he started to notice that something wasn't quite right with her. She could feel him keeping a watchful eye on her, but he never actually said anything to her directly, until the day finally arrived when he decided to step in.