Afternoon Delight (13 page)

Rei braced herself for the final rejection. She had stood up to him, challenged his authority and there was no way he would allow that loss of control. But that was okay; she’d said what she needed to and crossed over to healing.

“Yes?”

“I’ll expect you—that is, you’re welcome. Unless you have other plans.”

Rei smiled and blinked away the haze of moisture from her eyes. “I’ll be there.”

Wednesday, April 23rd

JadeBlossom is now online

JadeBlossom is instant messaging you

JadeBlossom: I did it.

PajamaPartyGirl: Did what?

JadeBlossom: I called my father a selfish, self-centered arrogant jerk.

PajamaPartyGirl: YOU WHAT????

JadeBlossom: Okay, maybe I didn’t use those exact words. But I did it, P.J. I finally stood up to him and told him how much he’s hurt me. I still can’t believe it. I was so hesitant to confront him. But I did it.

PajamaPartyGirl: I’m so proud of you! You turned the light on the monster in the closet and saw how small a shadow he casts.

JadeBlossom: Yes, the monster was only a man after all. It’s funny, I see parents like him all the time in court but never recognized Gordon for the bully he is. And like most bullies, he backed down when he realized I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me anymore.

PajamaPartyGirl: That’s great! You must feel so good.

JadeBlossom: I don’t know how I feel. I thought there would be some kind of epiphany, some magic moment that shouted, “The past is over!”

PajamaPartyGirl: There won’t be one moment but a series of them. It took years for this pain to build,
so you can’t expect it to ease with a single conversation. Give yourself some time. You had the strength to face him. You have the power to let go and you now have the freedom to make better choices in your relationships.

JadeBlossom: I don’t even know where to begin.

PajamaPartyGirl: Call Chris.

T
HURSDAY NIGHT
after work, Rei slowly turned the pages of her Life List journal, looking over the items she’d written there. Though she’d managed to check off several more goals, there was still so much she wanted to do.

Twice now she’d been blessed with the gift of life, and although she’d untied the ribbon and torn off the wrapping paper, she had yet to open the box and truly appreciate what was inside. It was time for her to look beyond the moment, to believe in the future and live as though she had one.

It was time for her to take the greatest risk of all.

Rei picked up the phone and dialed Chris’s home number. When the digital answering machine picked up, she started to speak and then changed her mind. She wanted to hear his voice, not a machine’s. She hung up and dialed his cell phone.

The line rang four times, and she was anticipating the call to roll into voice mail when he finally answered. “Yes, Rei.”

His tone of voice took her aback, but then again she shouldn’t have expected a warm reception. She wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt. Rei tightened her grip on the handset, but kept the tension out of her voice.

“Hi, Chris. How are you?”

“Fine, thanks. Was there something you wanted?”

You. I want you. “I’m calling to apologize. I wanted to let you know that I’m sorry and I hope you’ll understand—”

“Of course. Giving up my nephew’s case was just doing your job. I know that.”

Rei smothered a hint of frustration. She knew he was upset, but still, this was not going as she’d hoped. She wasn’t used to reaching out, and Chris wasn’t making it any easier. Maybe it might be better to try to make amends in person.

“Are you doing anything this evening? We could meet somewhere for drinks.”

He hesitated and she felt the silence grow into a barrier. When he finally spoke, his voice was colored with regret and sadness and resolve. “I don’t think so. I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”

Rei closed her eyes, dropping her chin to her chest. Her heart constricted in denial even as her mind recognized the truth. His reference to the craving they’d felt from the beginning couldn’t have been clearer. He wasn’t hungry anymore. Not for her. Not for a woman who’d never given herself fully so that she wouldn’t lose everything when it all went wrong.

Well, it had gone wrong anyway and she had only herself to blame. But she wasn’t going to allow old hurt to keep getting in the way of new love.
Take a risk.

“I—I miss you, Chris.”

“I miss you, too. But I’ve gotten used to it.” He sighed, a soft exhalation against the phone that said more than she wanted to hear. “You’ve been leaving me ever since we met and I’m not going to keep beging you to stay. I’m glad to know you’re okay. I hope someday you’ll be happy. Take care, Rei.”

There was a click and then the buzz of the dial tone filled her ear. A lesser woman might have seen that as an ending. However, Rei wasn’t about to give up on the best thing that had ever happened to her. Obviously it wasn’t enough to say she was sorry, she knew that. So she’d have to find a way show him.

In her job, she gave people second chances all the time. Now she needed to give herself one and ask Chris to do the same.

“W
E’LL BE BACK
with
The Bayside Morning Show
after these messages.”

Friday morning, Rei opened the doors to her closet while a commercial touted “quicker, thicker” paper towels. She rummaged through her clothes, agonizing over what to wear. She wasn’t in the mood for her usual black, white or gray. It was a new day and she had a newfound determination to make it the best it could be.

“Welcome back to Bayside. I’m Autumn Matthews.
Our guests this morning are Eric Antoine, Michelle Johnson, Tina Farrell and Marvin Carrington.”

Why had she bought that yellow dress? She looked awful in yellow. It was supposed to be decent weather today, so maybe she could wear the lightweight mint-green sweater….

“As you probably know, San Francisco’s hottest dating service has recently come under fire for some questionable practices.”
Rei whipped her head around to stare at the television screen.
“These four Lunch Meetings clients are here to try to set the record straight.”

She sank down on the edge of the bed to watch the interview. The show’s host seemed to focus on the earnest-looking man immediately to her right. Eric Antoine turned out to be one of the station’s producers and Michelle Johnson was a news copy editor.

Eric explained that he’d been interested in Michelle for months, but had been too unsure of himself to approach her. He claimed that everything changed when he signed up for Lunch Meetings.

“I give full credit to Chris London for getting Michelle and I together. His courtship counseling forced me to take a deeper look at my life and the kind of woman I wanted to share it with.”

“But, Eric,”
the host contended,
“the
Inquirer
article implied that the profile results were being manipulated. Don’t you wonder how you and Michelle were paired up?”

Michelle shook her head and smiled.
“Not at all.
I never signed up for the service. So there’s no way Chris could have messed around with our compatibility results.”

Rei felt her face heat in shame. She’d believed the worst about Chris without ever giving him the benefit of the doubt. Her attitude had been small-minded and callous and unforgiving—everything she hated about her father.

On the show, Autumn cocked her head to one side.
“But he did offer you two, as well as other male clients, special additional services, right? And how much more did he charge for these clothes shopping trips and etiquette lessons?”

“No more than I would have paid an image con sultant, Autumn. I wasn’t charged any outrageous fees, but frankly,”
Eric turned to look at Michelle and the affection is his gaze was obvious,
“the help Chris gave me was worth any price.”

The round-faced man next to Eric spoke up hesitantly.
“I know this is going to sound trite, but I think Chris does this out of the goodness of his heart.”

“Oh, come on, Marvin, you can’t be serious?”
asked Autumn.

When Tina leaned over to take his hand, he sat up a little straighter and looked the interviewer in the eye.
“If you read the Lunch Meetings literature carefully, there are no express guarantees that any client will end up in a relationship. The brochure only promises to in troduce you to people who seem to be compatible.”

“Chris didn’t have to coach the guys,”
Tina insisted.
“I think he saw their sincerity and loneliness and, if not for his advice, they wouldn’t have had the confidence to enter a relationship.”

Michelle nodded.
“I have to admit, I wouldn’t have given Eric a second chance except that I noticed the results of Chris’s suggestions.”

Autumn turned to the other couple.
“Now, I understand you two just got engaged?”

Tina beamed happily.
“Yes, we did. We’re planning a winter wedding, and Chris’s is the first name on our guest list. I’ve never been happier or more in love.”

Marvin blushed and cleared his throat.
“Let’s face it, I’m not the best looking guy and I’ve always been shy. Chris identified and helped bring out my positive qualities, as well as coaching me on how to act more confidently. Thanks to the Lunch Meetings service, I’ve found the perfect woman. Tina loves me unconditionally for exactly who I am.”

Rei didn’t hear the rest of the interview. She didn’t need to. Unconditional love was the one thing she’d desperately wanted for the past twenty-five years. She closed her eyes as the image of her mother filled her mind and the memory of Keiko’s love pervaded her heart.

Then another face appeared, the face of the man who’d offered wholehearted friendship and uninhibited passion. She was still hurt over his reaction to her cancer scare, but she knew from other women in
her support group that friends and family, especially males, often responded negatively to hide their fear.

That was another example of her believing the worst of Chris without asking him to explain. Her ethics had been called into question twice recently. However, the Bayside interview had just reminded her of something very important. Ethics was as much about doing the right thing as about upholding the law.

Rei stood up and went back to the closet. She had to get dressed and get to the courthouse. She had a lot to do today.

Friday, April 25th

“C
OMMISSIONER
D
AVIS
, you’re in early this morning. And you’re…Pink.”

Rei smiled at Mary Alice and twirled to show off her coral and white floral blouse and dark peony skirt. “I’m making a few changes.”

Mary Alice nodded. “Change can be good. It keeps life interesting.”

“What’s on the docket for today?”

Her court services clerk thumbed through the files in her arm as she rattled off the morning’s cases. “We’ve got a couple of divorces, an abuse case and several custody disputes.”

“Another fun-filled day, huh?” She shoved her purse into one of the desk drawers. “Before we get started, I need to take care of a couple of things.”

Mary Alice shifted the files again. “Sure, Com
missioner. You’ve got about a half hour before I call the first case.”

“Perfect.” Rei picked up the phone and dialed P.J.’s number. She spun her desk chair toward the window, once again making a mental note to try the opera sometime soon. Her friend answered on the third ring.

“Hi, Peej. It’s me. How’s the Queen of the World today?”

“Hm, sounds like you’re buttering me up for something. What’s going on?”

“I need to talk to you about taking a risk.”

Ten minutes later, she hung up the phone excited. P.J. had a good head for business and bottom lines, but she was also a romantic at heart. Rei knew she could be counted on to come through with this favor. She bounced out of her chair and prepared to ask for another one.

As she walked along the hallway, she came across the supervising judge, going the other way. “’Morning, Judge Orr.”

His bushy white brows shot up in response to her outfit, but he nodded a greeting as he passed. “Commissioner.”

Rei smiled to herself. Little did Judge Orr know that she was about to shoot his “zero-tolerance policy” straight to hell. She remembered how it was to be an emotionally neglected child, to feel unwanted and ignored. She knocked on the door to her friend Commissioner Whitney’s chambers and stuck her head inside.

“Hi, Sarah. Have you got a moment? I’d like to discuss the Russo case.”

T
HE AFTERNOON HAD
dragged on endlessly, until finally Chris had made the decision to send Lara home early. The dining room had served fewer than a dozen people all day and it closed at three anyway. There hadn’t been any potential new clients to meet, and he didn’t have any private consultations tonight.

It was a situation that he might have to get used to unfortunately.

By four-thirty, Chris was pretty much alone. There were two people in the computer café, checking and sending e-mails, so he’d left the entrance doors unlocked. He sat in his office looking through his files, making a stack of the clients who had demanded either refunds or compensation so he could go over them with his accountant.

The short-term losses were going to seriously cut into his cash reserves. Long term? He had no idea what effect Grant Bronson’s article would have. He’d truly appreciated Eric and Marvin’s kind words on TV this morning, but he wasn’t sure their endorsements would be enough.

Chris had to face the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to expand Lunch Meetings anytime soon. He hadn’t lost as many clients as he’d feared he might, nor had new applications fallen off significantly. But he’d have to wait out the negative publicity before he
could start the venture capital process over again with another firm.

Although his parents had generously offered to put together some kind of loan and he’d been touched by the gesture, he was unwilling to let them take the risk. They had their own future to save for.

He’d thought, now that the dream of having his parents reunite had come true, the empty feeling in his chest would have gone away. Instead it felt as if it had grown. His mother had once cautioned him not to confuse success with fulfillment. Now that Rei was gone and the business was failing, what did he have? Nothing that mattered.

The e-mail program on his computer beeped, indicating he had a new message. His heart skipped a single beat when he saw who it was from.

TO: DCL3

FROM: [email protected]

SOMEONE LISTENED

Yesterday you said you wanted for someone to offer Gabriel a second chance. He’s going to get one.

I spoke with the commissioner who’ll be hearing Gabe’s case. She will, of course, have to read the file and hear testimony from both sides. But she said she’d consider my suggestion of psychotherapy as well as family counseling. I don’t know whether she’ll be able to dismiss the charges, but at least Gabriel won’t be facing incarceration.

Rei

As Chris read the last sentence a second time, his mouth curved into a smile. His sense of relief was indescribable. So his was surprise. After the way she’d spoken to him at the courthouse, he couldn’t believe what she’d done and told her so.

RE: ACTING AS WELL AS LISTENING

I don’t know what to say, Rei. I’m stunned and incredibly grateful. Thank you very much. Thank you on behalf of my family as well.

I hope your intervention won’t cause you trouble at work.

Chris

RE: TROUBLE

I can trust Commissioner Whitney’s discretion, though she was as surprised by my request as you are. Some people are worth the trouble, though, as you showed me yesterday. You stood up for your belief in Gabriel. I couldn’t do any less.

Rei

RE: SECOND CHANCES

This means so much, Rei, but you know that. Thank you again.

Chris

RE: A FRIEND IN NEED

I’m not the kind of person who asks for what she needs. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need any
thing. You once told me that the deep questions are the hardest to ask, but they’re important. So I’m asking, will you give me another chance?

Rei

RE: DEEP QUESTIONS

We can talk about it, sure. Where are you now?

Chris

The security system magnet above the entrance buzzed. Chris turned to look through the two-way mirror to see who was coming in. As Rei walked through the door, she held up her text pager. She’d been just outside the whole time. He got up from his desk and went to meet her.

Late afternoon sunlight sparkled on her dark hair as she stood waiting for him. The pastel colors of her outfit added a soft femininity to her exotic looks, emphasizing her intelligent eyes and sensual mouth. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was, but not how much he loved her.

A sense of déjà vu hit him in the gut. The day she’d walked into Lunch Meetings, he’d claimed her as his own, just like he had on the dance floor at Divas. But, as she’d proven the last two times they’d seen each other, he had no more of her heart now than on that first day.

Rei offered him a tentative smile, obviously unsure of her welcome. “It’s, uh, not very busy in here.”

Chris’s laugh was devoid of any humor. “It was
plenty busy on Monday when people started demanding their money back.”

“I think it will be okay. Like you told me after the Grayson case, the media has a short attention span. Things will be back to normal soon.”

“I hope you’re right.”

They looked at each other in awkward silence. Chris stuffed his hands into his pants pockets while Rei twisted the strap of her purse. He hated this. He wanted
everything
back to normal. No, that wasn’t true. He wanted it to be better than before.

Her lips parted but it was another second before the words came. “I have a problem, Chris, and I’m hoping you can help me.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“You always do, don’t you?” She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “The problem is that Lunch Meetings matched me with the perfect guy. He’s smart and sexy, passionate and caring. However the relationship has hit a barrier and I don’t know what to do.”

In Rei’s chocolate brown eyes he saw his own insecurity reflected as well as a flash of longing. But he saw something else in her face, a kind of determined hope. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tight as his protective instincts kicked in at the sight of her vulnerability.

“I guess I wasn’t really ready to find the love of my life.” She took a step toward him and touched the back of his hand. “But I am now. We’ve shared things
about our lives, but haven’t had a lot of the open communication discussed in the Lunch Meetings brochure. So I’ve come to ask you for some courtship counseling.”

R
EI WANTED
to work things out.

Chris instinctively turned his hand to grasp her fingers. The tiniest flame of hope began to melt the layer of ice that he’d wrapped around his heart when he’d thought they were through. “Why don’t you go wait in my office while I show these clients out? I’ll be right there.”

He was as diplomatic as possible, but he still emptied the computer café in under a minute. The instant the front door closed behind his clients, he locked it and went to Rei. He walked into his office to find her standing nervously in the middle of the room. “Would you like to sit down?”

Rei shook her head and began to pace the floor, her footsteps muffled by the thick carpet. She’d taken off her coat and since she’d set her purse down, she was twisting her interlaced fingers instead. He didn’t think he’d seen her so unsure of herself before.

“So, you’d like professional advice. I usually don’t offer counseling unless I’m certain the client is genuinely interested in a lasting relationship….”

“You’ve given up on me.” Rei’s voice was no more than a grief-stricken whisper. She wrapped her arms about her waist, hanging her head.

Chris raked a hand through his hair. “I didn’t give
up, Rei. I let go. It was crystal clear that, despite your agreeing to be more than lovers and becoming friends, you didn’t want to risk letting me be a real part of your life.”

She stopped before him and reached out to touch his arm. “That day Dr. Solís called—”

“Was one of the worst days of my life.”

“I’m sorry. I looked at your face and immediately thought I saw rejection, so I rebuffed you first.”

“How could you think I would turn away at a time like that? I wanted to be with you, to comfort and hold you…but you wouldn’t let me near you.” His voice broke and he looked away. “I thought, if you’d shut me out at a time like that, there’s no hope of a future with you.”

“I’m sorry, Chris, I really am. I’ve been so afraid to be vulnerable, to reach out only to have my hand slapped away, to trust anyone too far inside where they could hurt me.”

He smiled sadly. “If you’re looking for absolute assurances that you won’t be hurt, you’re looking in vain.”

“I know that in my head, but in my heart…I’ve always assumed that because my father rejected me, because he’s never been there for me, no one else would be either. So when I found the perfect guy, I blew it by being scared. I pushed you away because by caring, you’d have the power to hurt me the most.”

He rested his hip on the edge of his desk and watched her cross the room again, his voice quiet. “Nobody’s perfect, Rei, especially not me. You’re not
the only one to blame for things not working out. I’ve held myself back, too, never letting anyone inside because I knew they wouldn’t stay. When you asked me to leave that afternoon—”

Rei touched her fingertips to his mouth, stopping his words. Her dark gaze compelled him to look into her eyes and see what was in her heart. There he saw tenderness and uncertainty and infinite depths of emotion. “There’s something I need to tell you, Chris. But I’m a little afraid to, even now. I’ve never told any man this before in my life.”

“You ought to know by now that you can tell me anything, that I won’t judge you.” When she still hesitated, he chuckled softly, pointing to his computer. “Do you want to type it into an e-mail and then step aside so I can read it?”

She laughed along with him and he saw some of the tension leave her, though her face was still set in serious lines of doubt. Rei took a breath and huffed it out again. “I’m not sure how you feel, but I love you, Chris. And I’m finally willing to risk being vulnerable, because I’m more afraid of losing you than I am of getting hurt.”

Chris swallowed the lump in his throat. “Like I said before, there are no guarantees in relationships. But if I offer my heart, and all of the love I so badly want to give, and you walk away again, I don’t think I’ll ever get over the loss.”

“I’m not asking you for any promises, Chris. I’m asking you for some time.” Rei cupped his cheek in
her palm and tipped his head until he met her gaze. Tears spilled from her eyes and her voice was hoarse with emotion. “Because time is the only way I can prove to you that I’m fully committed and that I’m not going to leave. I’ve spent so many years believing I wasn’t worthy of love, convincing myself that I didn’t need it in my life. But I do, Chris. I love you and I need you.”

He felt the truth of her words touch him all the way to his soul. Maybe Jeanna was right and some times you just had to have faith. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you—the man my mom’s been dating is my dad.”

She laughed in surprise. “You’re kidding!”

“If they can work things out, so can we.” He stood up and gathered her into his arms, knowing he’d never again let her go. “I love you, too, Rei, and I always will.”

Rocking gently from side to side, he pressed his lips to her temple and stroked one hand over the dark silk strands of her hair. Rei reveled in the strength of his embrace, the warmth of his love and the emotional connection that she hoped would bind them to each other from now on.

She tightened her hold on him in happy silence, expressing by the purity of touch her joy at being together with him again. She felt as if time had stopped, like they’d never parted. Rei marveled at her newfound feelings of tenderness, intimacy and love. Chris had
unlocked her heart with his quiet strength, integrity and courage.

He picked her up and turned so that she sat on his desk, putting their faces at a closer level. She slipped one arm behind his neck while he hugged her and nuzzled her cheek. Her other fingers skimmed his brow, touched his cheeks, traced the contours of his mouth. She placed her hand on the side of his face and pulled him forward until their lips met.