Aftershocks (33 page)

He reached out to finger a lock of my hair that had falen out of my knot and tucked it behind my ear.

“Remember how I told you that when Calie died it hit me realy hard, so I didn’t date anyone seriously?” I nodded. “When I met you something inside me kind of turned back on again, and it scared the shit out of me. For so long I was terrified of faling for someone, getting so wrapped up in them that I would care if I lost them. So I found girls who were fun and not looking for anything serious because it was safer. Girls like Alexis who tel me they love me but don’t know the first thing about what it’s like to truly give your heart to someone.”

I was surprised to hear him say that. He knew Alexis better than I thought.

“Abby, I’ve had feelings for you for so long, but I’ve fought them because I knew if I fel for you, that would be it.” He raked his hand through his hair in what seemed like frustration.

“What are you saying?” I asked, my voice sounding rough, like I’d just woken up.

“When you walked away from me last night, I felt like a piece of me had left with you. Al I wanted in that moment was to get into that cab with you, put my arms around you and tel you that everything was going to be okay, because I love you. And that I’m sorry for jerking you along and not realizing it sooner and being a jackass, as you so lovingly put it, but–”

I reached up and put my hand over his mouth.

“Are you being serious?” I asked, as I removed my hand from his mouth.

“Dead serious. I broke up with Alexis tonight.” Then he leaned down and kissed me.

I broke the kiss and puled away from him which caused him to look at me in question, his eyes searching mine for the reason why I’d puled away from him when I’d never done that before when he’d kissed me.

“Are you sure you didn’t just break up with Alexis because you found out what kind of person she realy is?”

I hated that I was asking him that, but I needed to know this was legitimate and not just a reaction to him finding out his girlfriend was evil.

He actualy looked hurt when he realized what I was insinuating. “Abbs, I’m not an idiot. I had sort of suspected Alexis had been behind that stuff for a while now, but I needed to hear it from you. I needed to know it was true. In al honesty, I should have broken things off with her weeks ago. I don’t love her. I never did, but I knew if I was single, I couldn’t justify not being with you, and that scared the shit out of me. I knew the pul you had, and I knew that if I decided to be with you, then I had to be fuly prepared to get my heart broken.”

I took his face in my hands, utterly frustrated with him. “Connor, you
are
an idiot. I have been in love with you for months. If you had bothered to pay attention, you would know this, and you would also know that I have no intention of breaking your heart.”

A smiled broke across his serious face. “You’ve been in love with me for months?”

I nodded.

“Wow.” He shook his head. “I thought you just thought I was cute and maybe a good kisser.”

I pressed my lips against mine, relishing the feel of them. “You are an excelent kisser,” I said against his lips. “And you’re adorable and sexy, and I love you. There is no way I’m going anywhere, so if you truly want to be with me, I can promise you I wil do everything in my power to keep your heart in one piece.”

He smiled his perfect grin at me that made my stomach flip over. “I love you, Abby, and I want to be with you.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me, nearly knocking me over with the intensity of his kiss.

Connor pressed his lips to my colarbone. I shivered in response but smiled as I realized how real it was. Our clothes were strewn al over my bedroom floor where they had landed in our haste to get up to my room the night before. I lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. Connor lay on his side, his head on my shoulder as he absently ran his fingers over my bare stomach.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking down at me.

“I’m perfect, but, say it again. Make it more perfect.”

He smiled. “I love you,” he said softly, as he leaned up to kiss the spot below my earlobe.

I smiled widely.

“No regrets?” he asked.

I ran my fingers up his arm. “None.”

Things had progressed farther than we’d planned the night before, but I had no regrets. Just being with him and hearing him tel me he loved me had made it special. In that moment, al was right with the world. The morning sun was streaming in the window, casting a glow over both of us.

I knew we didn’t have much time before my parents, who had stayed the night in the city, came home, but now that we were together, that didn’t seem to matter much. We could spend the whole day together if we wanted, or until we had to go to work which for me was in two hours. Instead of complaining, I leaned up and kissed him, loving that it was okay to do that.

***

“What?” I asked, anxious to share my news with her.

“Alexis slept with Cameron last night!” I knew she was trying to shock me, but honestly, I wasn’t al that surprised. I would bet that she was pretty upset about the break-up, and Cameron had just been there.

“Okay.”

“And Connor broke up with her!”

“I know,” I said, smiling. “He came over last night. Nic, it was amazing. You’re never go–”

“So you guys are together?” she asked, and something in her tone made me think she wasn’t al that happy for me.

“Yes, and before you say anything, I’m realy happy, so please don’t judge me.”

“You are aware that he broke up with Alexis after he caught her with Cameron, right?”

I froze halfway to my closet as Nicky’s words resonated in my ears. “He what?”

She repeated herself although she didn’t need to. I heard her the first time, and the words were tumbling around in my brain, mocking me. How much of what Connor had told me was a lie? Had he realy just been cheated on and run to me because he knew I would be available? Was I his rebound?

Oh God. I slept with him al the while thinking what he was saying was the truth – that he actualy loved me. What an ass!

“Nicky, I’l cal you back,” I said, as I hung up the phone.

I started to cal Connor, but my hands were shaking. What would I even say? I was such an idiot. I hung up before the cal connected.

Thirty minutes later, stil angry, I made my way across town to South Shore. I’d seriously thought about caling out but knew Luke would never forgive me if I didn’t come in two weeks before Christmas on a Sunday.

A part of me wanted to confront Connor, but I stil didn’t know what I would say. Fortunately, he wouldn’t be in until three, so I had some time to organize my game plan.

“Hey,” I grunted, as I let myself into the store.

“Wel, good morning to you too, Abigail,” Luke said.

“Whatever.”

“Um, okay, so I don’t know what I did to you, but we can talk about that later. Can you come to the back? I need some help with a new shipment that didn’t get pushed last night. There are ton of boxes, and I’l never get everything out by myself before we open.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

“Seriously, who pissed in your Cheerios?”

I shot him a death stare. “Be forewarned, Luke, that I might kil Connor when I see him today.”

“Um, okay, wel, that would be bad, so I don’t want you to do that. Why don’t you come to the back, and we can unpack and talk about it. What did he do now?”

I folowed him to the backroom where twenty boxes were stacked in the middle of the floor.

“He’s just a jerk.”

“Okay, so I’m going to need a little more than that,” he said, handing me a box cutter.

I knelt down in front of the closest box and vigorously sliced the tape along the top of it.

“I figured you’d be happy he broke up with Alexis and you two would be al crushed out on each other.”

I opened the flaps of the box and violently puled out the ski jackets that were inside. Luke laid his hand on my forearm as if to tel me to be kind to the merchandise. It hadn’t done anything to hurt me.

“He did break up with her, but only after he found her having sex with another guy,” I said, standing up to grab some hangers from the bin in the corner.

“You heard about that?”

“Yup,” I said, yanking a jacket onto a hanger and tossing it onto the floor.

“Hey, seriously. Easy with the merchandise. We actualy need to sel that.”

“Sorry,” I said, picking up the next jacket more gently. “Nicky told me the whole story.”

Luke stopped opening boxes for a minute. “Wait, do you think he broke up with her just because she was sleeping with Cameron?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking up at him. “Obviously.”

Luke laughed. “No way, dude. He planned to break up with her yesterday before the party, but he couldn’t get a hold of her al day, so he went there to do it. The fact that she was banging Cameron was just an easy out for him. It saved him some time explaining the reason, but he definitely planned to do it before he found out.”

“Realy?”

“He loves you, Abbs.”

“He does?” I said, feeling tears start to prick my eyes.

“Yeah, he does. He has for a while, but he just didn’t realize it. He talked to me about it on Friday night. You should have seen him after you left. He was realy pissed at himself for hurting you that night.”

Suddenly every negative thought from that morning flew out of my head. I leapt up, ran over to Luke and threw my arms around his neck. “Oh, my God, Luke. I love you!”

He staggered back in surprise.

“Okay, so please tel me this isn’t what it looks like.”

Luke and I turned at the same moment to see Connor standing in the doorway to the backroom. He was there early. I let go of Luke and ran over to him, throwing my arms around his neck.

“I am so sorry,” I gushed. “I’m so sorry, Connor.”

He puled back and looked at me. “For what?” he asked, looking from me to Luke. “Because I was joking when I said that. You’re not realy in love with Luke, are you?” He scanned my face searching for some kind of understanding.

I shook my head, laughing and crying at the same time. “No, you idiot. I’m sorry I doubted you.” I puled his face down so I could kiss him.

“I’m realy confused,” he said, around my lips.

“Come on,” I said, taking his hand. “Help us unpack these, and I’l tel you the whole story.

Chapter
30

“It’l be fine,” Connor whispered against my lips as he took my hand.

I looked over his shoulder to the front doors of the school where students were filing inside, stopping to talk to friends and waving helo to people they passed. I wasn’t sure why but the building itself looked so much bigger than usual, more intimidating and assuming. We stood in the parking lot, my left hand stil grasping the door handle of Connor’s car as I contemplated skipping.

Connor had picked me up with coffee, donuts and a big smile on his face, but it hadn’t been enough to squelch the trepidation I felt about running into Alexis at school. I wasn’t sure if anyone besides Luke and Nicky knew about us, but they would soon find out. I noticed people walking by were appraising us questioningly. Some even whispered to each other, and I hated being the center of attention.

It had been the same the year before when Wyatt had finaly returned to school. Back then I’d been the strong one, holding his hand as he bravely encountered those who’d taunted him and abandoned him and gossiped feverishly about his attempted suicide. I watched as he tugged nervously on the sleeves of his long sleeve t-shirt, ensuring they were puled down far enough to hide the stil fresh, thick red scars on his wrists. He didn’t want to see them as much as he didn’t want other gawking at them.

Now I was the one they were gawking at, no doubt forming their own opinions about what I was doing Connor. If they hadn’t already known about his break-up with Alexis, they did now. The fact that he was now holding my hand and kissing me made for some good Monday morning gossip.

Connor reached around me with his other hand to pry my fingers from the door handle after the first bel rang. We had five minutes to get to class.

He kissed me again. “We’re going to be late,” he said, eyeing me with an amused look on his face. He apparently found my fear adorable. “If I’m late again, Mr. Winters is going to give me detention.”

Connor had been waylaid by Alexis before class one too many times, and the last time it happened, Mr. Winters had given him a warning.

“Only because I care about your permanent record wil I ensure that we’re on time,” I said, wishing I could have stayed home. There were only five more days of classes until Winter Break. Unfortunately, I had tests al week, so staying home wasn’t an option if I wanted to attend colege the folowing year.

“Don’t worry about her,” Connor said, knowing the source of my fears.

Honestly, I’d half-expected Alexis to come over to my house to assault me, but she’d stayed away. I assumed it was because she didn’t yet know we were together. She’d know soon enough, and it was only a matter of time before she laid into me.

Thankfuly we made it to class in time, sliding into our seats as the final bel rang. Connor earned a raised eyebrow from Mr. Winters, but other than that we didn’t seem to be in trouble. Connor squeezed my hand under our physics table, and I suddenly realized for the first time that he was my boyfriend. We were together. He was holding my hand in class.

Yea!
I wanted to do a little happy dance in my seat. The past two days had been such a whirlwind that I think I forgot to acknowledge what a monumental thing it was. After months of hoping and dreaming and imagining the impossible, loving him unrequited, Connor Richmond was my boyfriend, and he loved me.

Screw Alexis! This was going to be a great day.

“You little bitch,” Alexis said, her eyes narrowing to slits as she took in Connor and my hands laced together as we walked out of physics. I immediately thought of the irony of the situation, remembering how not too long ago we’d been in this exact place, fighting with each other over boys. The only different now was that Connor was standing next to me, and I no longer despised him.