Against The Darkness (Cimmerian Moon) (28 page)

“It’s about
time the sleeping beauties graced us with their presence,” MJ says teasingly,
as we wait for Jillian to get her notes together. MJ is sitting directly across
from me, with Jason on his left and Jasmine sitting next to Jason. There hadn’t
even been room for her in that spot when we came to this table, but Jasmine,
determined as ever, wiggled her way in, making Willie, the man who was next to him,
have to move over.

I roll my eyes
at MJ. “We were tired,” I say in our defense. Using my fork, I scoop all my
eggs and load them into my oatmeal.

Wade, who’s
sitting beside me, chuckles. “We were tired too, but you didn’t see us sleeping
all day.”

“Settle down,”
Jillian says, as she stands in the front of the room. “It’s time to give out
the duties that the new members will have. We had to look at our needs and your
abilities to fill those needs. This isn’t anything I haven’t discussed with you
all individually.”

“Wait? When
did she do that?” Jasmine whispers, confused.

Jillian clears
her throat. “Wade, Ian and Jason you will be added into the scouting rotation,
hunting rotation and defense rotation.” They all nod. “Mariah,” she says, using
Ms. Burgess’ first name. “You will be in charge of the education of the
children and, when needed, assist with meals.”

I look over to
where Ms. Burgess—Mariah—is sitting, surrounded by Masana and four
other children. I learned that three of them are orphans, siblings found
roaming around by themselves. Mariah looks better, like she’s coming back to
life as she settles into a familiar role. Winston lies sprawled underneath
their table, sleeping. His belly looks fatter than ever, pretty soon the ribs
that protrude from his stomach will become less and less visible.

“Sinta,”
Jillian continues. “You will assist your mom in the clinic as needed and also
help out in the garden.” I nod my understanding. She came to me yesterday and
we talked about what I would do. Since I’ve helped my mom out for years,
joining her is second nature. And because I’ll have to clean up after Winston,
who I’m training to use the bathroom on the three-by-three area that Dave covered
with dirt and planted grass on, I’ll be spending a lot of time in the artificially
lit room where the garden is housed.

“Mia, you will
assist with meals and also help out in the garden. Jasmine, you will help with
the cleaning. And last but not least, Masana, your job is to go to class and
assist with the garden. Any questions?”

“Umm.” Jasmine
raises her hand. “I have a question.”

Jillian
glances to Jasmine. “Yes?”

“So, how do we
change jobs…duties or whatever? Is there some kind of Human Resources here or
something, because I don’t want to clean.”

Jillian pauses
for a beat as if she’s trying to contain her emotions. “Well,” she starts
slowly. “If you would have woken up when I came to your room yesterday, we
could have discussed what duties you wanted to do, but since you didn’t, and
told me to sign you up for whatever, so…”

I almost choke
on my eggs and oatmeal. I told her to get up and talk with Jillian, but she
refused, keeping the blanket over her head. I knew that was going to come back
to bite her in the butt.

“I would have
offered something else up if I would’ve known that you planned to make me a
maid,” Jasmine whines.

“No one here
is a maid. We all do a job that benefits the community.”

“Well, I can
do make-up. I went a year at the community college to become a make-up artist
to the stars.” She takes a quick glance around. “From what I see all the women
here could use a little foundation, blush and shadow. I don’t have a kit, but
if someone brings me back one, I’d be more than happy to start that job ASAP.”

Snickering
could be heard from around the room and all I can do is lower my head.
Oh
Jeez
.

“Does anyone
need help with their make-up?” I glance up, wondering if someone is going to
answer and, to my surprise, Jillian actually had a straight face when she asked
the question.

When no one
answers, Jillian settles her eyes on Jasmine. “I guess we don’t need that
service here. Now, moving on…”

Jasmine doesn’t
say another word and sits, red-faced, through the rest of the meeting. When it’s
finally over, the sound erupts from soft murmurings to a rush of excited noise.
Everyone talks and chats as they finish breakfast, and although I wanted
another helping of oatmeal I refrained from asking, remembering that we have to
stick to our fifteen-hundred calorie a day diet. “We’re at war.” Eric’s voice
echoes in my head.

One by one, as
everyone finishes their meal, they get up and go over to the sink, where soapy
water waits, and they wash and rinse their dishes. We’re also responsible for
wiping down the tables where we sat, as well as sweeping the floor around us. I
don’t know why Jasmine is all in a tizzy; we pretty much cleaned the mess hall
for her.

After I finish
doing my duties, I head for the door, eager to start my first day with my mom. Mia
has already gone to the garden, to find out what she’ll need to do there. I
stop, hearing Winston’s nails on the floor as he trots to me. When I turn around
my eye catches Jason, following him. I stop by the entrance, waiting for them
both.

“What’s up?”
he asks when he reaches my side.

“Nothing,
headed to the clinic, you?” I start down the hallway that will take me to my
destination. “What do you have up for the day?” I try to keep the conversation
light. No need to bring up old feelings.

“I’m going
hunting later. Rocky is teaching us how to use a bow and arrows today.” He
steps in line with me. “I can’t wait.”

“Really?” I
ask, my interest piqued. Maybe he’ll teach me how to use them too. I’m no
hunter, but the idea of training creates a crackle of excitement within my
chest. “I want to learn.”

“I’m sure
he’ll teach you. After dinner we go to a training room where he teaches us
self-defense and how to use various weapons. He’s got a ton of stuff there. It’s
pretty cool, you should come.”

I nod,
thinking of all the weapons he must have there. My sword is the only weapon I
have left. I gave my guns up to Rocky when we came. The guys have more use for
them than I do, keeping them in my locker won’t do anyone any good. “I will.”
Tonight
.

We walk in
silence, our shoes thumping on the ground. Before we reach the clinic door he
turns to me. “I wanted to get you alone. I want to talk to you about, you
know.”

Argh
.
This is not what I want right now. I don’t need to hear again how he can’t like
me because he sees me as a little sister. So far I’ve been avoiding being
anywhere alone with him for any extended amount of time, just in case he felt
guilty and felt the need to discuss what happened again. “Uh, about what?” I
mentally kick myself.

Don’t ask
‘what’ dweeb
. If I ask “what” he’s likely to answer it. I pick
up my pace.
Get inside the clinic where my mom is
. That’s a sure way to
avoid this conversation.

He stops and
tugs on my arm, making me stop as well. He leans against the wall, positioning
me to settle in front of him.

I’ve looked at
Jason many times before, probably too many times to count, but I haven’t
allowed myself to
really
look at him since he crushed my heart. He’s
more handsome than before, is the first thought that comes to mind.

He’s clean
shaven and someone has trimmed his hair. It’s not the best cut, but gone is the
hair that used to hang over his eyes—his beautiful eyes. Before they had
been alive with fire, life, mischief and playfulness, but now…they were sad—so
sad. I want to cup his face in my hands and ask him why his eyes hold so much
sorrow, but I already know.

He doesn’t
have his family.

If I were a
better person, I would have pushed my petty feelings aside and recognized the
turmoil he was going through. I was his friend once, we used to talk and joke. Before
things changed he would have been able to come to me and let me know what was
going on, divulging his feelings about not being with his dad, mom or brother.

“I miss you,”
I say, breaking the ice. He shouldn’t have to apologize for not liking me to
repair our friendship. That’s not how friendship works.

He hitches his
breath. “I…I…”

I think I
caught him off guard. One corner of my mouth lifts up into a smile. “I’ve been
a bad friend. I found my mom and let everything else fall to the wayside. I’m
sorry.”

“Well, um.” He
clears his throat. “I thought I was going to have to beg and grovel for your
forgiveness—which I was fully prepared to do, mind you.”

I chuckle and
punch his arm playfully. “We’re still friends. I’m a big girl. I can take
rejection.”

He takes my
forearms and pulls me closer to him. There’s hardly any room between us. My
heart skips a beat and my breathing picks up. The same old feelings rush back
like a geyser.

“I’m sorry
about that,” he whispers. “It nearly tore me up inside.”

I shake my
head. “N…no, you d…didn’t have to feel that way.”

He lets his
hands run down my arm to twine his fingers with mine. “You don’t understand. I
didn’t always do the right thing. I’ve taken advantage of girls before. The old
me would have jumped all over you.” He gives my hands a light squeeze. “But
that’s not something I could have done with you. I wanted to do this right for
once, not rushing in blindly, not caring about the consequences or the end
product.”

My mind swims
with words and emotions that I can’t sort out. I open and close my mouth,
trying to force the words out, but nothing spills from my lips.

The door of
the clinic opens and my mother sticks her head out. “Sinta?” she asks, when she
sees me. “Oh, hi Jason. I thought I heard people talking. No need to stay out there,
why don’t you both come in?”

Continue this
conversation in front of my mom? I don’t think so.

Jason must
have the same thought as I do because he says, “Sorry Diana, but I was just
walking Sinta to work. I’m hunting today so I better get myself ready before
Rocky gets mad.”

She chuckles.
“Yeah, Rocky is the last person you want to get mad.”

Jason squeezes
my hand again. “Catch you later, Sin.”

“Sure.”

He lets go and
turns to walk down the hallway. I don’t dare watch him leave. It’s bad enough
that my mom caught us almost pressed against each other and him holding my
hands. I don’t want to explain the ogling either.

She steps back
to let me enter through the door. I head straight for the sink to wash my hands,
as is her rule for anyone entering the clinic.

“Hmm, well that
was interesting,” she says.

“What?”
Dammit!
Don’t ask what
.

“You and Jason
all lovey-dovey. I swear that boy was about to kiss you.”

I groan. This
is also a conversation that I don’t want to have.

“If he would
have done that, I’m sure I would have been scooping a Sinta-puddle off the
ground and I wouldn’t blame you either. That boy is hot.”

“Mom! Stop!”

*
* * * *

The
conversation I thought would continue later doesn’t, and I can’t say I’m overly
upset about it. He wants to be good? Well, let him be good, because if that’s
the good Jason then I highly doubt I can handle the bad Jason.

We hardly see
each other, as we both settle into our duties. It’s strange. I’m used to seeing
all of them from the time I get up until the time I go to sleep. We’ve all been
constant companions and now to be separated feels as though I’ve lost a part of
myself. At breakfast we continue to sit together, listening to the morning
meeting and afterward scarfing down our food and listening to each other talk.

Our
conversations are never on the past or about what we’ve gone through, we focus
on the here and now. Talk about going back to Ann Arbor to find family members
or other band members has grown less and less, until finally we don’t talk
about it at all.

Our days are
filled with working and keeping the community going. With three more men added
to the scouting and hunting, our food choices have grown and asking for seconds
isn’t a bad thing anymore. They also bring back more items from the scouting
trips. MJ even brought me back some hair products and hair bands on one of
them. What would seem like a small gesture anywhere else is a huge one here.
Anything could have happened to him while he was stuffing the items in his sack,
and for him to have even been thinking of me when he could have been captured
or killed speaks volumes of our friendship.

The scouting
details also bring us back news of the aliens. As the weather becomes warmer
the aliens are seen more. They continue to patrol our area, making going out
much more dangerous now.

Lunch time is
usually uneventful, as food is set out on the long table and when people have a
break in their chores, they come in and out as they please. I can find only a
couple of people sitting at the tables during this time. But things get
livelier at dinner. Everyone is done with their chores and the guys are back
from topside. Dinner has more of a festive attitude. No one takes for granted
that the guys who were topside have returned healthy and sound. Every night
feels like a party.

I took Jason’s
advice and, after dinner, joined him and the other guys in the training room to
learn from Rocky. The first time I went I was surprised that I was the only
female there, but after that first workout I understood why. The training was
almost as brutal as a long day’s walk. I almost had to crawl to the showers and
to bed. But after a week of training I could finally walk to the showers
instead of being helped.

Ms. Burgess
has taken Masana under her wing, treating her like the daughter she never had. The
younger girl still doesn’t talk as much, but her eyes aren’t as vacant anymore.
Ms. Burgess thinks she’s slowly coming back to reality. We all understand that
it’ll take some time and we don’t want to rush her. One day she’ll feel
comfortable enough to open up and talk about what she went through.

Jasmine is
still Jasmine. She still has her sights set on Jason even though he doesn’t
want anything to do with her. Despite her earlier complaints, she’s handy with
a mop and cloth and is pulling her weight in the compound. She still has a
problem with saying the first thing that pops into her head and flows from her
mouth.

Wade
is…different. He’s become a man, a provider and friend. I know he’d like to
become more, but that’s not where I see us going. I’ve only had to tell him
that once, and, like Jason, he hasn’t brought it up again. But that doesn’t
mean that he let it go. There’s still the rubs on my back and shoulder. The
smiles that are meant just for me. My mom thinks I’m playing hard to get with
him, but that’s not it at all. He’s my friend and that’s how I want to keep it.
I can’t think about trying to have a relationship with Wade. It would be wrong.
Especially since my heart belongs to someone else.

But while I’m
content with pushing the feelings I have for Jason to the side and Wade is being
Wade, Ian seems to be the only one who has matured in that area. He stunned us
all by asking Mia to marry him. After she said yes, they moved into one room.
They’re both over eighteen so no one could really object. They call themselves
married and to us they are. There’s no certificate to make it legal, but even
if we did have one, who would they file it with? They wrote their vows and
declared their love and that was good enough for all of us. There was no rings
but even that didn’t matter. We pronounced them husband and wife and Jillian
made one of her special dinners again.

Ta-da!
Married.

All in all, we
settled in nicely.