Agatha H. And the Clockwork Princess (66 page)

72 Luckily, for all concerned, sometime in the past, an anonymous female Spark developed a quiet useful plant, known as “Trusty Maiden Weed”. Due to its invasive qualities, it was now grown throughout Europa. When brewed into a tasty tea, and drunk on a regular basis, it prevented pregnancy, as well as a number of embarrassing diseases. Many traveling shows harvested it as they moved about and did a brisk business selling it in town. It was a rare woman who skipped her morning Maiden’s Cup.

73 At this time, it was the practice of Wulfenbach forces during an invasion to shackle prisoners and then drive a large metal staple into a nearby wall, so they could be collected later. A territory as large as the Empire was always looking for trained soldiers, and very few of rank and file were themselves driven by ideological ideals. Usually they were conscripts, draftees, mercenaries or such, and thus, when offered the choice of being cut loose with one month’s pay or being allowed to join the well-fed, well-paid and well-dressed armies of the Pax Transylvania, many of them joined up without hesitation.

74 A very long time indeed.

75 Hoomhoffers were gigantic insects, the end result of some forgotten Spark entomologists’ experiments. The original subjects had apparently been dust mites, too small to be seen by the naked eye. The experiments been designed to “make those little rascals big enough that I get a look at them.” They now required a small chugging engine to make sure they got enough oxygen throughout their enormous frames. This was a bit inconvenient, but their resistance to bullets, unearthly strength, newly-acquired ability to fly, and terrifying appearance made up for it. Plus, they ate a lot of dust.

76 Jean Anthelime Brillat-Savarin was a French Spark obsessed with food and fine dining. His most famous saying was, “Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are.” He was devoured by a rather confused monster who had read his books and decided that what he most wanted to be, was Brillat-Savarin.

77 They were easily the most comfortable shoes Agatha had ever worn. You could walk all day and not feel any fatigue. But if you stood still for too long, you had to pay attention, or else you found your feet starting to dance. They were great for weddings, but Sasho had been run out of his home town after the funeral.