Agatha Parrot and the Floating Head (11 page)

Gwendoline suddenly realised how stupid she looked so she turned on Olivia. ‘You told me she was a dummy.'

‘I thought she was!' said Olivia. ‘Honestly.'

HA HA HA HA HA!

They both went bright red and stormed out of the classroom.

‘What was all that about?' asked Mrs Twelvetrees.

‘They were just jealous that
we're going on the trip,' said Ivy. ‘Or at least we were going on a trip.'

That looked like it was going to be the end of it. Miss Pingle opened the blinds and we all had to straighten the chairs and tables then get our project books out. But Mrs Twelvetrees still hadn't gone yet. She was staring at the wet bit under the radiator, and then she spotted something on the floor and
picked it up. It was bit of popped balloon! It seemed to have got her thinking, and then she started having a good look at the shoe.

Oh no,
eeky-freak!
Of course it was one of my old shoes and it probably still had my name in it . . .

‘Is this yours, Agatha?' she asked.

I didn't have much choice did I? ‘It might be,' I said. I was hoping she'd just pass it over but she didn't.

‘Would you come to my office to collect it after school? There's
something I'd like you to help me with.'

Oo-er!
But you'll have to wait for a few pages to see what that was all about.

‘T
his is the coffin of Queen Parpunsniffet and it's 4,000 years old,' said Miss Pingle reading aloud from a leaflet. She was standing by a massive great big box with a really cool spooky gold face on it.
YES!
We had got to the
museum to see the mummies after all and it was completely brilliant.

‘Let's move on,' said Miss Pingle. ‘Now then, does anybody know what's wrapped up inside those bandages?'

Bianca's hand shot up. ‘It's a bed doddy.'

‘A bed doddy?' repeated Miss Pingle.

Ha ha ha ha!
Hooray for Bianca. We love Bianca.

‘She means a DEAD BODY,' said Ivy.

‘Oh dear,' said Miss Pingle. ‘I think a bed doddy sounds much nicer.'

After that we saw some strange
spooky statues, and the pots of bits of people's insides, and then the best part was the film showing how when Egyptians died they pulled their brains out of their noses with a hook before they wrapped the bodies up!

WARNING:
do NOT pull your brain out of your nose with a hook
. Sorry I've got to put that in just in case you go round saying that this book gave you ideas.

When we'd seen everything (including watching the film THREE times yahoo we love it), we went out into the museum park and that's when something even better happened. There was an ice-cream van, and
guess who treated us all?

‘You deserve it chaps, I haven't had so much fun in years,' said Mrs Twelvetrees. ‘And don't gollop down your ice cream so fast Martha! You'll be sick.'

‘Me? I'm never sick,' said Martha and then she said
‘OW!'
because Ivy had given her a poke in the ribs and it served her right too the big liar.

Mrs Twelvetrees was lapping up
her own ice cream and it was dead funny especially when she said, ‘Oh look chaps, Miss Pingle's got a little blob of ice cream on her nose!'

Miss P giggled and wiped it off with a tissue but that wasn't the funny bit. The funny bit was that Mrs Twelvetrees didn't know she had a great big white splodge on her own chin
ha ha ha!
She looked like one of those Egyptian man statues with a beard on it. Gosh,
it was a lot better having Mrs Twelvetrees on the trip than Miss Barking, but I know what you're thinking. How come Mrs T could come with us? She was supposed to check the half-term reports, remember?

T
his last bit is supposed to be a secret between me and Mrs Twelvetrees, but seeing as you've read all this book, I'll give you a clue how she managed to sneak out to the museum. You remember when I had to meet Mrs T in her office after school?
Somehow she'd worked out the truth about the Other Martha, and she asked me to give her some help.

All the time we were at the museum, Miss Wizzit had been back at school sitting at the reception desk. She'd been staring at the door to Mrs Twelvetrees' office. Mrs T had specially asked not to be disturbed, but it looked like she'd been in there an awfully long time!

Miss Wizzit's a bit nosy, so
suppose she'd gone and had a look through the keyhole? (And I bet she did.) She'd have seen Mrs T sitting at her desk with her back to the door, checking the reports. So how was Mrs T able to be in the museum at the same time?

I'll give you a clue. The Mrs Twelvetrees in the office had her collar turned up and a big hat on. Oh yes, and there was a balloon involved but that's enough, now SHHHH!
Whatever you do don't tell Miss Wizzit. It's safer for all concerned if she never suspects. We'll just let her sit quietly at her desk getting on with some very important . . . er . . . well, whatever it is that school receptionists do all day.

There, you've just read a bit of
TOP SECRET
information, so don't let it sneak out. Don't leave this book lying open on the bus or anything. In fact it's probably safest if
you just do what spies do and eat it. Oh no, here we go again . . . WARNING:
do NOT eat this book.

Anyway, that's the end so I hope you liked it. Actually I was going to tell you about the time when we got Motley the caretaker to eat a million cornflakes ha ha! And then there was the time when Gwendoline thought Ellie was going on holiday to the moon, and then there's the time when James turned into a mushroom and
there's lots more, but if we put all that lot in here then this book would be the size of a washing machine
ha ha!
So like I said, that's the end. Thanks for reading it, bye bye.

The End

(Actually it's not the end if you want to read the bit about
Henry VIII
and his wives which fills up the last pages. But if you don't then this IS the end so you can tick this book off and say you've read it WELL DONE have a gold star and a round of applause for YOU clap clap clap without stopping . . . ha ha brilliant.)