Alas My Love (9 page)

Chapter 12

Come.” Tancred pulled Helena to her feet. “Let us go reason with your brother.”

“There is no reasoning with that one.”

Tancred put Helena’s hand upon his arm. “Perhaps not, then again maybe there is. We’ve dealt him a double blow this day. First he finds you after many weeks and then he finds me not far behind. Now that he has had time to simmer, perhaps he will listen.”

They walked out into the clearing and Tancred paused. “I have known days past when your brother was a reasonable man. I trust God can give him the ability to deal evenhandedly with this, Helena.”

“Roger cares naught for fairness or evenhanded dealings. He cares for Roger.” She paused and let her gaze go to the open meadow where men and women laughed and cheered the children in three-legged races. “I fear him, Tanny.” She couldn’t help but shudder. “He hated me, mayhaps not as much as Maude, but nevertheless I was a thorn in his side. Henry would not allow him to force my hand in marriage and that angered him greatly. He could neither touch the dowry left me by my mother, nor could he benefit from a wealthy arranged union.”

“You have never married?” Tancred asked in disbelief. “But you must be at least. . .” The image of Helena as a little girl faded more and more.

“I am twenty,” Helena said with a frown. “And no, I could not marry when my heart belonged to you.”

Tancred shook his head. “All those years spent in my miserable exile and you were here across the sea.”

“I would gladly have shared your exile, Tanny. Most gladly.”

Her eyes pierced his heart in the warmth of their sincerity. Her love caused him to feel strong in a way he’d not felt in years. Uncertain of what he might do should they tarry any longer, Tancred led her forward and motioned at the castle in the distance.

“My brother and I will not allow you to be taken. Roger will have little to say in the matter when Henry learns of this. But tell me, why did you refuse to tell us your story?”

Helena lowered her head in shame. “I could not admit to being Lady Helena Talbot. Richard would no doubt have sent word to Roger and in turn my brother would have retrieved me. I could not bear the thought of another beating at his hand. Nor could I agree to his terms in regards to the abbey.”

Tancred stopped abruptly. “He beat you?”

“Aye. ’Twas the reason I ran. While he was just boisterous and raging, I could handle him and Maude as well. But Maude convinced him to starve me and then put me to shame at the whipping post. I bear those lash marks even now.”

Tancred’s eyes narrowed in rage. “He will answer for it with marks of his own.”

“Nay, Tanny,” Helena begged, her hand firmly gripping his arm. “ ’Twould resolve nothing. I am reconciled to the matter and know that Roger would never have acted as he did, if not for Maude.”

She held him in her pleading gaze and finally Tancred nodded. “Very well, but I pledge to you that it will not happen again.”

Helena smiled. “Thank you. You have always seen fit to rescue me from one bad situation or another. Many was the beating I avoided as a child because you and Roger interceded. Now I can only pray that the good Father in heaven will intercede on my behalf today.”

“ ’Tis my way of thinking He already has.”

Roger was not happy to see his stepsister enter the castle on Tancred DuBonnet’s arm. He began his tirade on the bailey lawn, but Richard prevailed and suggested they return to the privacy of his chambers. Begrudgingly, Roger agreed and followed Tancred and Helena inside.

Tancred seated Helena near the fire and stood behind her in a protective fashion. He gave Roger little doubt in the menacing stare he offered that he would and could protect Helena from further attack.

Richard took his seat and motioned to Roger. “Be seated, Talbot, and let us speak as gentleborn folk.”

“There is nothing gentleborn in that man’s manner,” Talbot said, refusing to sit. “I demand you release Helena to my care and stay out of this matter.”

Helena surprised them all by speaking up. “I will not go with you, Roger. As nearly as I can understand it, you sought to send me to the convent in order to appease Maude. Her desire was that I be put from the house and now I am. So where lies the problem?” Unafraid, her gaze met his.

“Maude’s desires are not the only ones to be considered here. I would see you well cared for. You refuse to take a husband and I—”

“I did not refuse to take any husband. I simply refused the ones you offered. You know my heart on the matter.”

Roger clenched his fists. “You would throw yourself at this cur’s heels? The very man who soiled your stepsister and nearly caused her complete disgrace.”

“Ha! Maude caused her own disgrace,” Helena declared. “You forget, I was a child then.”

“What has that to do with it?”

“Much. I was able to slip into the shadows unobserved. I watched the things my stepsister played at. ’Twas not this good man who stole your sister’s virtue, and this I know full well.”

Roger stared at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Helena folded her hands and glanced up at Tancred. “Tanny never played false with her. He refused her advances, and so our dear sister sought revenge upon him. She set your mind against him, though he was not the one to be the cause of your grief.”

Roger sat down and stared in silence for several moments as if trying to decide if Helena spoke the truth. He looked at Tancred, the man who had been like a brother to him. Was it possible that Maude’s interference had separated him from the dearest friend he’d ever known?

“I had just received my title and lands,” Tancred said, breaking the silence. “It was a most attractive package to your sister, and when she learned of it, her pursuit ensued. I’d simply have no part of it, for I did not love her.”

It was too much to concede and Roger, instead, changed the subject. “Maude is not the only issue here. What of the murder? You were convicted by your brother’s own testimony.” He turned to Richard. “Was this not true?”

“ ’Twas a mistake and one I deeply regret, for it cost my brother eleven years of his life.”

“But there were witnesses to the act,” Roger protested. “I know because I paid special attention to the details of the matter.”

“They were false witnesses,” Richard stated. “Obviously the true murderer paid them well to sing their song. Tancred and I intend to learn the truth of the matter.”

“I do not believe you,” Roger said, still clearly shaken by Helena’s declaration.

Tancred stepped from behind Helena’s chair. “It matters little what you believe. ’Twas a time, however, when your loyalty would have remained with me. I believe the poisoning of your mind can be traced back to Maude’s hard heart. If you are honest with yourself, you will agree.”

“ ’Tis true, Roger.” Helena’s voice was soft and tender. “You once rode with this man at your side. How many times did you conspire with him to keep me out of trouble? How many times did you take the full punishment when our father learned of the matter?” Roger said nothing and Helena continued. “Maude met Tancred one afternoon in the mews. She didn’t realize I was there, and she began her tirade before I could take my leave.”

Helena lifted her face to smile at Tancred. “Tanny knew naught that I was there watching him work. ’Twas my fondest pleasure, just to be near him. Maude came into the mews and began to weave her spell. She flattered and played at his pride until I was certain Tanny would do most anything she asked. Of course, I was
enraged, knowing that only the night before she’d been with the neighboring earl’s
son.

“Maude pleaded her love to him and begged him to reject her naught. She concocted stories of her miseries. Her mistake came in the fact that Tanny already knew of her dalliances.”

“How could he know? Did you tell him these things and, if so, why should he believe a child?” asked Roger.

“I said nothing to him. My mother would not allow me to become a part of the matter.”

“I was no fool, Roger.” Tancred spoke in his own defense. “Neither were you, and if you think back on the matter, you will know the fact of this.”

For several moments nothing was said. Helena felt sorrow for Roger as he reconciled himself to the truth. She could see his eyes soften for just a moment before he hardened himself again.

“It still does not excuse your actions. You refused to even defend yourself to me,” Roger finally stated.

“I should not have needed to defend myself to a friend.”

Again, Roger was taken aback. “Perhaps, but just because Henry absolves you of murder does not mean I do. I see no proof of your innocence.”

“I intend to find it,” Tancred replied. “Until then, my clear conscience is all the proof I need—that and your sister’s fierce loyalty.” He put his hand on Helena’s shoulder.

Helena cherished the touch. She could scarcely believe that he stood at her side. Better yet, that he had not rejected her love.
Oh God
, she prayed,
please lay these matters to rest.

Just then Arianne entered the room with Timothy. “ ’Tis the supper time and I know my own hunger is great. Come to the table and resolve these issues on the morrow.”

Richard went to her and took Timothy in his arms. “I believe my wife is the only one with any sense. Talbot, a room has been prepared for you. Will you stay?”

Roger got to his feet and nodded. “Aye, for this is not yet concluded, and my sister and I must talk.”

Helena felt her peace dwindle. What would Roger do to force his hand in the matter? She decided then and there to not allow Roger to speak with her alone. Tancred could not follow her everywhere, and when his back was turned, Roger very well might steal her away. She was so lost in thought that she did not realize that everyone but Tancred had left the room.

“Is it well with you, Helena?”

She looked up to find his brow furrowed in a worried expression. Forcing a smile, she nodded and accepted his hand. “It has been a most taxing day.”

“And a most revealing one.” He smiled at her upturned face. Then surprising them both, he leaned down and placed a brief kiss upon her forehead.

“Aye,” Helena murmured, her cheeks blushing scarlet.

When darkness fell upon Gavenshire, Arianne and Helena took Timothy and retired to their chamber. Helena could hear voices in the great hall as she closed her door. Would they take matters into their own hands and refuse to consider her will in the affair? She felt frightened for a moment, and then the words from the Easter sermon came back to her.
Whom do you seek?
Forcing her will to come under control, Helena realized that seeking out God first was harder than she’d believed. Still, by placing herself in God’s hands, Helena knew peace.

Letting contentment replace her fear, she doffed her garments and slid into bed. Thoughts of Tancred’s kiss played on her mind. She touched her finder to her forehead and frowned. Was it only a brotherly kiss? The more she considered it, the more it seemed to be the kiss of an adult to a child. Chiding herself for questioning Tancred’s motives, Helena smiled.

Without further contemplation, she lifted her voice in a song of praise to God. The joyful melody filled the silence of her chamber and warmed the room with hope. For the first time in years, she snuggled down into the cover of her bed and knew a deep, heartfelt serenity. Tanny was home. It made her song just that much sweeter.

In his chamber, Tancred heard the lyrical voice and strained to catch the words. Who was it that sang with such purity and joy? He opened his door for a moment and cocked his head into the hall. Just then the watchman was making his way to stoke up the fires.

“Who is it that sings?” Tancred asked the man.

“ ’Tis the Lady Helena. Her voice is like no other.”

Tancred nodded and closed the door with a smile on his face. Helena was a woman like none he’d ever known. It was a pleasant surprise to find her springing up from his past, yet it was a wonder to replace the image of Roger’s little sister with that of the warm, shapely woman Helena had become.

Preparing for bed, Tancred remembered the way she’d defended him, nor could he put from his mind the way she’d cried in his arms and declared her love for him.

“ ’Tis certainly more than I expected,” he said to the empty room. Then a thought of Artimas came to mind. The man had told Tancred in complete assurance that God’s planning was always best and never out of time.

“If I’d remained here with my land and title,” Tancred mused, “I no doubt would have married and fathered many children by now. Helena was but a child and not yet even fostered. I would never have looked to her for companionship.” Somehow the idea of this gave Tancred a start. He suddenly realized just how unwelcome this thought was.

Getting into bed, Tancred smiled. “She loves me.” He closed his eyes, extremely satisfied. “Someone loves me.”

Chapter 13

Milady, he’s asked to see you again,” Helena’s young maid told her.
Helena shook her head. “I cannot.” She looked at the girl with sympathy. Sending her off to meet Roger’s disappointment and anger wasn’t an easy decision. “Tell him he can talk to me later when I am with Her Grace and young Timothy.”

“Aye, Milady.” The girl curtsied and finished helping Helena into a samite surcoat of yellow. The shade did her pale complexion justice, and the gold threads that had been embroidered at the neckline brought out the gold of her hair. Smoothing down the richness of the wool and silk-blended gown, Helena felt the knotting of her stomach as the church bell began to peal. It was time for church and no doubt Roger would seek to accompany her. It wouldn’t matter that he couldn’t speak to her at that moment. He would simply take charge and make his presence known.

Hastening her maid, Helena pulled on the pale yellow wimple and tucked all but a few wily strands of plaited blond hair beneath its covering. She wondered at her predicament when a light knock sounded on the door.

“Helena, ’tis Arianne.”

The maid quickly opened the door for the duchess and took her leave. Arianne entered the room with Timothy in hand. “I thought you might like some company.”

“To be sure, Milady.” Helena nervously slipped her feet into matching yellow slippers and stood to face Arianne. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Arianne put a hand upon Helena’s arm. “Richard has assured me that you will not be forced to leave this place. Your brother has much to answer for, and we will not allow him to harm you.”

Gratitude flashed into Helena’s eyes. “But he is my guardian.”

Arianne nodded. “Aye, but Richard has Henry’s ear, and before you are given over against your will, we will see it brought before him.”

Helena took a deep breath. “I do not wish to be left alone with Roger. Please.”

“Of course. I will see to it that one of us accompanies you at all times.”

“Thank you, Arianne. I owe you much and can never hope to repay it.”

Arianne smiled slyly. “I have but one question for you.”

“Ask it.” Helena’s curiosity was peaked. What could the duchess possibly want to know? All of her secrets were in the open. Her mind raced to consider what the duchess might want to ask.

“Are you truly in love with Tancred?”

Helena’s mouth dropped open and quickly she struggled to conceal her surprise. Arianne’s face was lit with amusement and even Timothy cooed as though delighted by the aspect of Helena’s answer.

“I think you just answered my question,” Arianne said with a grin. “I am most gratified at this turn of events. Tancred needs a good woman at his side. A strong woman—one who can soften his roughness and strengthen him where he is weak.”

“Tanny is not weak,” Helena said firmly. “He is the strongest man I have ever known. He has endured so very much and yet survives to tell of it. I greatly admire him, and yes, I love him. I have since I was a small child.”

“Good.” Arianne shifted Timothy and took Helena by the elbow. “Then we must work hard to see you two brought together.”

“ ’Tis no matter of hard work, Your Grace,” Tancred stated from the doorway. He stood there with arms crossed, leaning against the stone wall as though he had been there for some time.

Helena blushed and refused to meet his eyes. She was confused that after all of these years of loving him, she should suddenly feel shy.

“Ah, so you are in agreement.” Arianne reached out to hand Helena over to Tancred. “That saves me much time and trouble.”

Tancred grinned at his sister-in-law. His dark eyes met hers. “Would that Helena have saved all of us the time and trouble. Do you know she cared for me since she was a child?”

“So she says.”

“Do not talk as though I were not here,” Helena protested, raising her head to meet Arianne and Tancred’s amused faces.

“I see your sudden case of vapors has passed,” Tancred said and took firm hold of Helena’s arm. “Come along, you two. The priest will have vapors if we keep him waiting.”

After church there was a warming breakfast with thick bowls of porridge and a special treat. Matilda had overseen the making of a special sweet bread. The delicacy was laden with almonds and raisins, and everyone at the table agreed it was a delightful surprise.

Roger had tried twice to corner Helena, once as she was coming out of the chapel and the second time as she was being seated for breakfast. Both times, either Tancred or Arianne had interceded and prevented Roger from whisking his sister away for the private discussion Helena so dreaded.

At the table, Helena found herself carefully positioned between Arianne and Devon, just as she had been since her arrival. On Devon’s other side sat Roger with a scowl on his face that clearly stated his frustration. Helena glanced his way only once and shuddered at the expression she met. Arianne, noticing the problem, gave Helena’s hand a reassuring pat.

Relaxing a bit at this gesture of support, Helena knew that she was truly safe. Arianne was a wise and thoughtful woman, and Richard was completely devoted to her and heeded her suggestions. Helena knew, too, that Tancred would intercede in a heartbeat, should Roger distress her with more than a glance.

Thank You
,
Father
, she prayed silently.
Thank You for the protection and comfort I have found among these people
. Lifting her head, Helena smiled. She felt sated with reassurance, and even Roger’s sour face could not distract her from feeling secure.

❧

“I keep thinking there is something that I have overlooked,” Tancred said, running his hands through his dark hair. “I have relived the night of the murders over and over until I’m nearly certain that I am there again.”

“Aye, as have I.” Richard’s tone held only sadness. They had agreed to come together and discuss the matter of their parents’ death, but now Tancred was uncertain it would do any good.

“I was excited about returning home after spending much time in London,” Richard continued. “It seemed I had been gone an eternity, and I was anxious to greet our mother and know her gentleness once again.”

“How came you to return home?”

“It came as a surprise, actually,” Richard replied. “I was working upon the training field when a messenger arrived explaining that the king desired an audience with me. I went to Henry, and he told me that our parents had requested I return home to attend some matter. He did not say what that matter might be.”

“But you arrived at the manor only moments after I did?”

“Aye, and the rest you know full well.”

Tancred nodded. “I was settling down for the night on my own estate. It was still a wonder to me that I was titled and in control of such a large piece of land.” Just then Helena’s voice could be heard. She was singing to Timothy, and Tancred couldn’t resist pausing to listen.

“I had just put the business of Roger’s sister, Maude, to rest. At least so much as I could. Maude was outraged that I could walk away from her. She was so certain that she could dupe me into marriage, and when it didn’t work, she destroyed my friendship with Roger.” Sadness overtook Tancred’s features and softened him in a way that Richard had never seen. There were tears in his eyes when Tancred continued. “I loved him as dearly as I did you. He was a brother to me in every way. We grew up together, trained and fought together, laughed and sought entertainment together. Never was there a better friend than Roger.”

“ ’Tis a pity that a woman should destroy that bond.”

“Aye, but one very hard and embittered woman. Maude only sought to bet
ter herself and she cared naught for whom it destroyed in the meantime. But that aside, I go back to that night and remember it early on to have passed in relative peace.”

Helena’s singing comforted Tancred as he recalled the latter parts of that tragic evening. The parts that offered no peace. His face grew rigid. “There came a man with a message bearing our father’s seal.”

“Who was this man?” Richard asked .

“I knew him naught,” Tancred replied. “He was there but a moment and then gone. Before I could even break the wax, he had slipped into the shadows of the night and disappeared. I thought little of it. I presumed the letter was but our father’s suggestion for resolution in a matter I had with my villeins. I took the message to the fireside and at my leisure broke the seal and read it.”

“And that message called you to the manor?”

Tancred began to pace restlessly, while Richard shifted in his chair and stretched his legs. Tancred could see the message only too clearly in his mind. The words still haunted him.

“It read, ‘Your assistance is needed immediately. There is grave danger this night for us.’ Of course, I readied my horse and went to them.”

“You are certain the message came from our father?”

“Aye,” Tancred said rather indignantly. “I recognized his seal, it belonged to no other.”

Richard raised his hand as if to calm Tancred’s growing agitation. “I simply wanted you to be sure in your mind. It might be something that would help us learn the truth.”

“It bore his seal. The same that is upon the ring we three wore. There was no mistaking it.”

“Very well,” Richard replied, and his soft-spoken voice seemed to calm Tancred immediately. “Pray tell, what happened then?”

Tancred finally took a chair opposite his brother at the hearthside. He stared into the flames, remembering the fire of another night. “I rode to the manor and found the barn set ablaze. The villeins were already working to put out the flames. I searched for Father, but was unable to find him. One of the men told me he was in the manor house, but I could not believe that our father would allow others to do all of the work. He loved his land and his people and would have served at their side.”

“This is true,” Richard agree.

“I went to the water trough and he was not there. I searched the faces on the way to the manor and realized neither he nor our mother was among those who watched and waited.” Tancred continued to stare into the fire. His mind had transported him back in time. Back to the night when his world was suddenly destroyed.

“The smoke was thick and putrid. It smelled of burnt animals and manure. It seemed a hopeless cause, but the villeins did manage to keep the fire from spreading, which was, itself, a miracle. I believed the matter to be what Father had referenced in his message. I continued my search for him and finally went into the manor house.

“It was dark inside. No fires burned in the hearth and no candles or lamps were lit to offer light. The eerie glow of the barn’s fire was all that directed my steps. I called out to Father, but no one answered. I heard something at the far end of the hall. It was nothing more than a scurried scratching sound, like a rat upon the floor. It was too dark to know what the source of it was, so I went back outside and found a torch.”

“You saw no one in the house?” Richard asked skeptically.

Tancred shook his head. His soul writhed in agony, pierced with the regret that if he had stayed to investigate the noise or perhaps come directly into the house upon his arrival, their parents might still be alive. “I heard voices upon my return. Muffled voices, barely audible, but nevertheless there. I called out again, but no one answered. With the torch in hand, I lit some candles and checked out the hall. There was no one. No house servants, no one at all. I knew something must be terribly wrong, and that sense of foreboding followed me through the house.

“I had come to the screens that divided the kitchen area from the hall when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. A booted foot. I came closer and saw
the blood. Then the truth of the matter was clear. Our parents were there, togeth
er, dead.”

His voice fell flat. “They had both been stabbed several times, and the knife was still plunged there in Father’s back. I drew it out—”

“That’s when I arrived,” Richard stated. The memory of that night was only too clear in his mind. “I came upon you just as you had drawn it out.”

“It truly must have presented a grisly picture. I cannot fault you for what your eyes must have demanded to be true.”

“But I can fault myself for my lack of faith in you. I was greatly humbled by Helena’s bold declaration of your innocence. She spoke with Arianne and me not long ago, and to hear her tell the tale, there was never a doubt in her mind that you might have performed the deed.”

Tancred smiled, his look haunted with a bitter sweetness. “I was redeemable only in the eyes of a child.”

Richard closed his eyes, and Tancred saw that he fought for control of his emotions. There were tears in the duke’s eyes when he opened them to face his brother. “I wish to God most earnestly that I would never have arrived to stand as your accuser. How I have prayed a thousand times that I could take back that single night.”

“ ’Tis no sense in living with regret of that night,” Tancred said, meeting his brother’s pain-filled gaze. “The matter is no longer between us. We need to combine our forces and seek out the true murderer.”

“Aye,” Richard said with a nod. “I have tried these long months to find the men who bore you false witness.”

“And?”

“They are of no help to us, Tancred. They are dead.”

“Dead?”

“Aye. Shortly after the trial was completed and you were sent into exile, both men met with untimely deaths. Both died in their beds from what their families can remember. But after eleven years. . .”

“It will not be easy to learn anything after all this time, but there must be something that will open the door for us. Even a small thing that can prove the matter in one direction or another.”

“We must pray it will be so,” Richard said with confidence. “God in heaven would not allow this injustice to continue. I know not what reasons He has for this matter, but I trust He will guide us to a solution.”

“May it be so, Brother,” Tancred replied. “May the truth be known to us both.”