Alex (30 page)
Alex had to go to bed.
He would be leaving soon.
He'd come to his father, asking him for help, and would have to leave without getting what he'd come for.
His father had failed him in life; now, he would fail him in death.
He woke feeling unsettled and tired, the revelations from his dreams fading quickly.
He started toward the bathroom, intending to take a shower, but the sight of the twisted curtain drew him up short.
He decided to skip it.
As he brushed his teeth, some deep part of him began to wonder how Eston would try to kill him today.
He got to work alive.
He saw Kelly Dennon as she headed toward her training room, and thought to give her a smile to make up for yesterday.
See?
I'm not so crazy after all.
But he couldn't.
Sheila left him alone for once, and with no one to look up on the internet, the morning dragged past.
At lunch he left the building, just to get out.
The sandwich shop was only about three blocks away, but the traffic lights wouldn't cooperate.
He was stuck at the third one, staring at a power line across the street, when he noticed the tornado siren mounted on top of it.
"What's that noise?"
It had been a tornado siren.
A scheduled drill had gone off while they were driving, and Alex had hated it.
"Just cover your ears,"
Ian had urged him.
"
It'll be over pretty soon."
They'd been right below the siren when it went off, just like Ian was now.
He itched to write this revelation down in his journal.
When he got back to the office, he sent an email to himself at home:
"What's that noise" - tornado siren.
"Ian!" Shauna exclaimed.
"It's great to see you."
"Yeah."
Ian glanced around at the metal chairs.
The seat Alina had been taking for the last three weeks was empty.
"She... called me," Shauna said, as if he'd asked where his wife was.
"She won't be able to attend any more sessions."
"I know," he said.
"I talked to her."
"I'm really glad you decided to come back."
Ian managed a brittle smile that he didn't feel.
"Well, thanks.
I've been thinking, though... this is a couples' session... "
"Oh,
no
!"
She threw her arm out in an exaggerated dismissal.
"It's fine!
You're more than welcome to stay!"
"I know.
You mentioned that on your voicemail.
But I don't think I'd be comfortable being here alone."
Shauna's face fell; her boisterous appeal died.
"You mentioned that you could maybe refer me someplace, though?
I still want to... talk about this.
I just think a more personal setting might work better for me."
To his relief, she nodded.
"I could see that working better for you."
She took out a card, circled one of the names on it.
"I've worked with Dr. Bellweather for years.
I'll let him know you'll be calling."
Ian nodded and took the card.
As he turned to leave, he saw the Bensons coming in.
"Hi," he said, and smiled.
George gave him a nod.
Hey, I just wanted to apologize for freaking out like that last week.
Ian wanted to say it, but he froze.
He couldn't.
They walked past.
Ian took a step toward the door, then turned.
"Good luck," he said.
"I hope they find Evan."
When he got home, he went downstairs and updated his document.
Then he went online and tried to find the locations of the tornado sirens in Hopkins and Shakopee.
He'd been hoping for a map or something, with all the sirens marked, but an hour of searching turned up nothing.
Another dead end.
How could Alex have told him so much, but given him so little to work with?
But that wasn't fair.
The boy was only five, after all.
He had tried his best; so had Ian.
"Daddy," Alex said.
"I think I'm getting so tired."
Ian turned toward him.
He
looked
tired.
"I know, bud."
"I think I'm getting so tired."
Alex deserved to rest.
If his son stopped speaking to him tomorrow, Ian would be relieved and anguished at the same time.
He didn't know what he wanted anymore.
"Alex," he ventured, "what will happen if I can't figure out what you want?
What if you have to go to bed before I finish?"
The shirt changed to stripes and a collar.
He must've been in the middle of getting dressed; he was naked from the crotch down.
"Daddy!" he protested.
"You
promised!
"
Ian nodded, chastised.
He had promised.
But what was left to do?
Other than driving down to Shakopee and talking to everyone Eston had ever worked for, he had no idea what to do next.
"Okay," he said.
"Okay.
But is there anything else you can tell me?
Anything?"
Alex rolled his eyes and scampered upstairs, his bottom half still nude.
Ian sighed and turned back to his computer, but nothing new was occurring to him.
He
did
have the list of Eston's old employers that he'd put together, but he couldn't just drive down and start talking to them.
What would he say?
"Do you remember Leroy Eston?
Did you ever meet his girlfriend, someone named Kelly?"
He waited for the backlash against this idea.
It didn't come.
Instead, other ideas began to occur to him: questions he could ask, cover stories he could use.
What if one of them
had
seen her?
What if he could find out where she lived?
This last thought froze him solid.
What if, indeed?
What then?
Go and talk to her?
Go and
kill
her?
He went upstairs to use the bathroom, shaking his head.
It was crazy, like all his other ideas.
He didn't even know her last name, for God's sake.
But it didn't require telling anyone what he was seeing.
And if he questioned everyone Eston had worked for, and found nothing, then he could at least say he'd tried.
He'd done everything he could.
He flushed the toilet and washed his hands at the sink.
As he turned to use the hand towel, he caught a glimpse of Leroy Eston in the mirror, staring.
Then his heart seized.
He staggered, clutching at his chest with one hand.
His legs started folding.
He tried to take a breath and couldn't make his lungs work.
It felt like they had collapsed.
He shot out a hand, grabbed hold of the doorknob trying to keep his feet, but the door swung on its hinges and he toppled forward, face-first into the carpet.
I'm having a heart attack.
I can't be having a heart attack.
I'm only thirty-four.
Sharp, silvery pain shot from his chest and into his shoulders, his neck.
He dragged for breath, the carpet fibers tickling at his lips.
Where was the phone?
Where the fuck was the phone?
Alex,
he tried to say, but all he heard was a thin wheeze.
Alex couldn't bring him the phone anyway.
Alex was dead.
"I will kill your mom and dad."
"I will come to your house, and I will kill your mom and dad."
Eston.
"
Daddy!
"
Alex screamed.
He was in his room, visible in the darkness.
"You have to find Mr. Tuskers!
You have to find him right now!
"
Ian tried to get to his feet, but could only struggle to his hands and knees.
At the sides of his vision, the walls were turning black.
"
Daddy, he's here!
In this box!
This one!"
He clawed his way forward, dragging himself through the carpet as the strength bled from his arms.
Every breath was a struggle.
His heart was in a ratcheting vise.
Alex stood by one of the boxes in his room, pointing and shouting.
Ian could no longer hear what he was saying.
The words were like blasts of light.
They rocketed from his mouth and streaked into space, leaving a shining trail.
He reached the box and somehow rose to his knees.
The box wasn't taped, but the flaps were folded in.
He fumbled at them like a child.
Alex helped.
He was blazing now, too brilliant to be looked at directly.
Sparks from his body leapt into the darkening air around Ian, gleaming like the jagged edge of a migraine.
Then the box was open.
The stuffed elephant was at the top of the pile, its trunk somewhat flattened from months of being pressed against the cardboard, its glass eyes narrowed and hungry for violence.
"Mr. Tuskers is here to protect you, Alex.
He and I have talked.
I told him: 'I won't be in here, but it's very important that Alex be safe.
So you need to guard him just like I would.'
And he promised to do that.
He can see in the dark, and he's going to stay awake all night, and beat up anything that tries to hurt you.
So you're safe.
Okay?"
Ian grabbed the toy, and the vise released his heart.
He fell to his side, gulping air, his eyes squeezed shut against Alex's brilliance.
Luminance boiled in front of him, bright as sunlight.
He threw his hands over his eyes, and could still see the shining red wall of his eyelids.
There was a roar, and thunder like a stampede.
The floor shuddered beneath him.
He heard trumpeting.
Eston shrieked, and the temperature in the room plummeted.
Ian's arms crawled with the sudden cold.
Then a blast of heat rolled over him.
Eston's cry ended in a gurgle.
The light faded.
When he opened his eyes, Ian found himself alone in Alex's dark room, holding Mr. Tuskers like a drowning victim clutching a life jacket.
118
Alina -
He paused, staring at the blinking cursor.
Mr. Tuskers sat on the floor to his right, glaring at the stairs.
I know this will sound crazy.
Leroy Eston, the man who murdered our son, is trying to kill us.
Alex tried to warn me, and I realized, nearly too late, what he was trying to say.
Somehow Mr. Tuskers can keep us safe.
I can't explain it.
I'm begging you to believe me.
Please just keep Mr. Tuskers close by.
I don't know how it works, but
