Alex Verus Novels, Books 1-4 (9780698175952) (115 page)

The silence stretched out, the four of them glancing at me and waiting for me to speak. From the other side of the room, I could hear the soft
whisk-whisk
of Arachne's needle. “The adept who stabbed me is called Will Traviss,” I said at last. It was an effort to get the words out. “He thinks I killed his sister.”

The four of them looked at each other. “Why does he think that?” Variam said.

“Because I did,” I said. “Or as good as.” It was hard to say it, but an odd sort of relief, too. At least I wouldn't have to hide it anymore.

I wanted to look away but forced myself to meet their eyes. All of them looked taken aback, and Sonder looked outright shocked. “What I'm about to tell you happened ten to twelve years ago,” I said. “There's no way to make this short, so you're going to have to be patient. And . . . just so you know, this story doesn't have a happy ending.” I took a breath and began.

chapter
5

“I
n my last year of school,” I began, “I was recruited by a Dark mage named Richard Drakh.” Even after all these years, saying his name still brought back a touch of the old fear. “My magic had started to come in a couple of years before, but I didn't understand what I was doing. I didn't know anything about the magical world, or Dark and Light mages, or anything like that. Richard offered me a position as his apprentice, and I said yes. I left home and moved into Richard's mansion.

“There were three other apprentices that he'd recruited around the same time, and they were about the same age as me. Two of them were girls—a fire mage named Shireen, and a water mage named Rachel. They'd known each other from before and they were pretty much best friends. The last apprentice was a boy, Tobruk, and he was a fire mage too. Tobruk was the strongest, Shireen was close behind, both of them were stronger than Rachel, and all of them were stronger than me. Richard trained us and when we were ready he introduced us into magical society, Dark and Light. We met other mages, we took part in contests and tournaments, and all the time we competed with each other. I treated it like a game, back then.

“Richard started giving us assignments. We'd be sent to do an investigation, or get hold of something and bring it back. As the months went by the assignments got more dangerous. For us, and for everyone else. Sometimes the people we were sent after didn't cooperate; sometimes there were others after the same thing we were. There were fights. Rachel got shot on one mission and would have died if Shireen hadn't pulled her out. We got more ruthless after that. Richard didn't give us any explanation for why we were being sent out, and he didn't answer questions. We got into the habit of following orders.

“In September of that year, Richard sent us out to find a girl. Her name was Catherine Traviss, and Richard wanted her brought back to the mansion, alive—he was very clear on that part. Somehow or other she'd found out Richard was after her, and she'd fled to the United States with her younger brother. I guess she was hoping that would be far enough. It wasn't. We followed her to the U.S. and tracked her down in Arizona. She'd travelled with her boyfriend, a guy called Matthew Stewart, and the two of them were camped out in the desert. I found them, and Shireen and Rachel and Tobruk went in to get her. Her boyfriend tried to fight them off . . .” I trailed off, remembering what had come after. The way in which fire magic kills is horrible beyond description. I tried to think of some way to make them understand just how awful the sight and sound and smell had been, and couldn't. I wasn't sure I wanted to.

“Tobruk killed him,” I said at last. “It . . . wasn't pretty. We got Catherine. Alive, just like Richard said. And we brought her back.

“I guess that was the point at which I started having doubts. Don't get me wrong, we'd done some shady stuff already, but there'd always been some way to justify it. Most of the time the people we were going up against weren't any nicer than we were—either they were Dark apprentices too, or as good as. But Catherine and her boyfriend hadn't been part of that world. They hadn't done anything at all.

“Richard hadn't told us why he wanted Catherine. I'd had some idea he just wanted to talk to her, which was pretty stupid of me now that I think about it. Richard had her locked in the cells beneath the mansion and told us to make sure she stayed there. Shireen and Rachel didn't go near her. Tobruk did.

“Tobruk was . . . None of us were especially nice people back then, but Tobruk was the worst. I think out of all the Dark apprentices I met in that time, he was the cruellest. He started making regular visits down to Catherine and he'd . . . amuse himself with her.” I stopped. I didn't want to go into the details; just remembering it was nauseating. I took a quick glance around the four faces watching me. Sonder looked uncomprehending, but something flickered in Anne's eyes and I had the sudden unpleasant feeling that she knew exactly what I was leaving out.

“It took me longer than it should have, but I decided to help Catherine escape. I scouted out the guard shifts, then one night I crept down and got her out of her cell.” I fell silent briefly. “It didn't work. Richard was waiting for me and Rachel and Shireen and Tobruk were with him. He gave me one chance to put Catherine back. I didn't take it. Tobruk put me down. When I woke up I was in a cell of my own.

“I'd taken it for granted, being under Richard's protection. When Richard took that protection away . . . then suddenly I was in the same position Catherine was. And Tobruk made sure I got the same experience. Not exactly the same—his tastes didn't run that way—but he was pretty creative at coming up with substitutes.

“It went on for a long time. I didn't see anyone except Tobruk, and the rest of the time I was left alone. But even if I wasn't Richard's apprentice I was still a diviner, and every now and again Tobruk and Rachel and Shireen would run up against something that they couldn't handle but I could. The trips were short and I was always watched, but I was patient. Eventually I found a way out.

“I was more careful this time. I'd learnt Richard had a new enemy, a Light mage, and I waited until he was busy with her before I made my escape. This time it worked. I made it away, but I knew Richard would send the other three after me. The only question was which one would catch me first.

“I went to the Light mages for help. They didn't want to know—as far as they were concerned it was one Dark mage against another. I went to every mage that I'd gotten to know during my time as Richard's apprentice, and they all turned me away. They didn't want to get involved—they were all just waiting for Richard to finish me off. And finally I went to the last place I could think of. Here. To Arachne.” I glanced over at Arachne, still sewing quietly. I knew she could hear me, but she didn't react. “She could have turned me away like the others. She didn't. She took me in. Arachne hid me and let me heal and rest, but she couldn't keep me hidden forever. When I was ready I took the help she gave me and went out to face the people chasing me. The first one to find me was Shireen, and she was . . . different. She was under orders to bring me back, but for the first time she wasn't sure. I'd spoken to her a few times towards the end, and maybe something I said made her change her mind. Or maybe she changed it herself. She went back to the mansion empty-handed and I never saw her again.

“And then Tobruk came. He was stronger and tougher and better trained than me, but I'd had time to prepare and I knew what he'd do. He could have killed me if he'd gone all-out, but he couldn't resist playing cat and mouse one last time. And even at the end, he never really believed that someone as weak as me could threaten him. I set a trap for him in an old building, and I killed him and turned the building into his funeral pyre. And then I kept running and getting ready for whoever would come next.

“Nobody came. Days went by, then weeks, then months. Nobody else came after me. And I never saw Richard again.”

I stopped talking. The cavern fell silent but for the
whisk
of Arachne's needle. Seconds dragged by.

Luna was the first to speak. “So do we go after this Will guy or wait for him to come back?”

Everyone turned to stare at her. “What?” Luna said.

Sonder looked disbelieving. “Didn't you hear that story?”

“Yes,” Luna said.

“This guy, Will . . . He's not just some monster. He's got a reason for doing this.”

“Everybody who's tried to kill us has had a reason,” Luna pointed out. “That doesn't mean I'm going to let them.”

“You said that Catherine girl had a little brother,” Variam said. “You think it's the same guy?”

I nodded. “When we attacked Catherine's camp we only saw her and her boyfriend, but there were tents for three people. She was supposed to have taken her brother with her when she ran . . . Will would be about the right age.”

“And now he wants revenge for what happened to his sister,” Variam said.

“You didn't hurt her, though,” Luna said.

“No, I just showed the people who
did
hurt her where to find her. Somehow I don't think that argument's going to impress him very much.”

Silence fell again, and it stretched until it became uncomfortable. Suddenly I couldn't bear to sit there any longer; I didn't want to look at their faces for fear of what I'd find there. “I need a rest,” I said, rising to my feet. I felt Anne look up at me but raised a hand, not meeting her eyes. “I'm just tired. I'll talk to you later.” I walked back towards the cave in which I'd woken up. As I left the cavern I heard the murmurs start up behind me.

* * *

B
ack in the smaller room, I lay on my back on the bed and let my breath out in a sigh. I was more tired than I should have been and I knew that even with Anne's healing, I hadn't yet recovered from last night's injuries.

Well, I've told them.
Now that I'd done it I felt drained. I'd known I couldn't keep it hidden forever, but I'd always put it off. I stared up at the rock ceiling and wondered how they'd treat me now. In the years since I'd known Luna and Sonder and Anne and Variam, I'd played the role of a . . . what? Protector? Teacher? Friend? Something I wasn't, anyway. They hadn't known about my past, and so when I'd been with them I'd been able to escape it.

Was that why I'd worked so hard to help the four of them? When I'd joined Richard I'd been too self-centred to ever really care about helping anyone. When had that changed? Over the last year and a half I'd put myself in danger to help Luna and Sonder and then Variam and Anne, not just once but over and over again, and as I thought about it I realised that I didn't regret it at all. I'd do it again without a second thought.

Maybe while I was with the four of them, I'd been able to pretend to be a different person. And at some point I'd noticed that I liked being that person a lot more than I liked who I used to be.

But the person I'd been pretending to be wouldn't have gotten two innocent kids killed . . .

Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't notice Luna's approach until I heard her footsteps echoing down the corridor. “Hey,” she said as she walked in, then pulled out a chair and dropped into it. “They're still arguing.”

“Yeah, that figures.” I pulled myself upright and looked at Luna. “Still want to be my apprentice?”

Luna looked at me in surprise. “Why wouldn't I?”

“Because of what I told you out there.”

“Oh.” Luna shrugged. “I'd guessed most of that already.”

I stared at her.

“Okay, I didn't know the details,” Luna said. “But I knew you used to be a Dark mage. There was going to be
something
.”

“What about Catherine?”

Luna shrugged again. “You've kind of got a thing about people coming to you for help. Especially if they're young. I figured it had to be something like that.”

I looked at Luna's face, frank and straightforward, and had to laugh. All this time I'd been trying to keep it hidden and she'd known all along. I spend so much time finding out other people's secrets, and somehow it had never occurred to me that someone else could do the same to me. “It doesn't bother you?” I said once I'd caught my breath. “Having a master who was trained as a Dark mage?”

“I don't care,” Luna said. I stopped laughing to see that she was looking at me steadily. “I go to classes and matches and I hear everyone talking about Dark and Light, and they all seem to think that the faction you're part of is the most important thing in the world. Well, I don't like either of them. Neither of them are ever going to want me, because I'm not a mage. They don't care about me. Why should I care about them?”

I fell silent. “It's not that simple,” I said at last. “I know you've got reason not to like either faction. But they
are
different, and I shouldn't have joined up with Richard the way I did.”

Luna gave me a puzzled look. “If you don't like Dark mages, why did you join Richard in the first place?”

I sighed. “Short answer? Because I hated pretty much everyone. I felt like the world had treated me like crap, and this was my chance to turn it around. No one had ever cared about me, so why should I care about anyone else? When you spend all your time lonely and miserable, it's really easy to start hating everyone who has what you don't.” I glanced at Luna. “You understand that, don't you?”

Luna's eyes went distant, and she nodded. We sat in silence for a little while. “Why did you change your mind?” Luna said quietly.

“Because of Catherine and that boy,” I said. “I guess . . . The way I'd always justified it to myself was that the rest of the world had started it. But those two hadn't done anything to me. So I tried to fix it. And I failed.”

Luna sat without speaking and I wondered what she was thinking about. It was a relief when I heard footsteps and Anne and Variam arrived. I looked between them, then down the tunnel. “Sonder?” I said.

“He had to leave,” Anne said. There was a slight distance in her manner, but at least she didn't flinch when I looked at her.

“He's still choking on the whole ex–Dark mage thing,” Variam said. “He said he'd call.”

It wasn't really a surprise. Sonder had always been the idealistic one, and I had the feeling it was going to take a while for him to get used to this . . . if he ever did. I glanced at Variam. “How about you?”

“I figure we owe you,” Variam said.

“I don't want you to get involved in this because you feel you have to.”

“Yeah, well, that's my call, right?” Variam shrugged. “You're about the only mage who's ever stuck around to help us out. I'm not leaving because of some old grudge.”