Alexander Outland: Space Pirate (11 page)

Herion credits went into my wallet, left inner jacket pocket, but not hidden. The cards I put into the money belt, which I shoved into the left outer jacket pocket. The assortment of other things I’d snagged went into my left pants pocket. None of them looked like a tracking device or a small explosive, so I decided to save their perusal for another time—preferably when we were all long gone off this rock. Other than one thing.

There was a flat, milky disk on a leather strap, surrounded by metal. It was clearly meant to be worn as a necklace. It looked manmade, but I couldn’t be sure. I pondered, then put it on and tucked it inside my shirt. It lay flat enough and this way I couldn’t lose it easily.

Considered my options. I could go back out and try the corridors, but I had to figure there were still plenty of gray dots looking for me. Decided to play around with the system tracker for a while. My mysterious friend had given me what I needed to figure out the best way to get to Slinkie. Did a quick run-through of all the levels—I was in luck, she was pretty much right above me, albeit two more floors above me.

Decided to use the ventilation system. Sure it was a common technique, not to mention a cramped one, but for some reason, it still worked nine times out of ten. Did a quick recount. Yep, since the last time it hadn’t worked, I’d used it seven times. Should mean
I had breathing space.

Did the stand on the table and push the tile up thing, did the cough, curse and brush off wildly as the ceiling tile disintegrated thing, did the search for a portable light thing, then did the check the extra junk thing. Sure enough, Nitin had a penlight with him. Nice of him to come so equipped.

A part of me wondered how much of a set up this was, but, as Great-Aunt Clara always said, in for a penny is a stupid amount to get nabbed for, if you play, play big. She didn’t always make complete sense, but I got the gist of what she was going for.

I moved into the ventilation system, penlight held in my teeth, and started the long, dusty crawl. The system was one I was familiar with—interconnected up and down. Common to military and prison complexes for some reason. Presumably those all forced to dress alike wanted to also all smell the exact same air all the time.

No vermin showed up to share the fun with me, which was a small blessing. Not that vermin bothered me all that much, but there’s something about having a crawly with a lot of legs inside your clothes to make you jumpy, and I didn’t have a lot of room to jump in.

Crawled to the end of the corridor and found the shaft going up to the next level. This was the fun part, so to speak. If you enjoyed shoving your back against one side, bracing your feet against the other, and shoving yourself up, it was great. I didn’t think about slipping down—once I was up a few feet, that wasn’t an option I was willing to contemplate.

Inched and shoved my way up to the next level. Collapsed in the horizontal shaft for a minute. I used the time in between pants to check the schematic. Was rewarded for the effort—there were gray dots all over the schematics now, anywhere I looked.

For good or bad, Herion Military’s ventilation system was a crisscross, meaning that I had to crawl the entire length of this floor in order to get to the next upward shaft. Wanted to send an angry memo to the cosmos, but knew it would get returned unopened
with a “balance due” stamp on it.

Did the inch and shove routine again. Wondered if I could send in a bill for my cleaning services—no one else had been in here for ages, if the dirt my clothes were cleaning off was any indication.

Reached the top, got to crawl all the damned way back to the blue dot. I was getting to the point where I didn’t care who or what was there, as long as I could get out of the stupid shaft.

Finally arrived. The ventilator grill was under me and I took a look. Couldn’t see a damn thing. Not because it was dirty, though I assumed it was, but because there was nothing much to see. A carpet was about it. According to the system tracker, however, I was right above the blue dot.

I listened. Nothing. I chose to hope this meant Slinkie was tied up but alone, versus tied up and being ravaged or, worse, not tied up and happily in bed with someone. Decided not to wait to find out.

The grill lifted off easily enough, but then it slipped through my hands and crashed to the floor. Not my smoothest move. But, no one came running. Maybe there was no one in the room. Or they were waiting for me to come down before they killed me. Figured I’d make it easy on them and a lot more pleasant for myself.

I slid over the opening and went down legs first. Landed in what I had to admit was a pretty cat-like way—standing, knees slightly bent, ready for anything.

Well, anything but what I was looking at.

“C
aptain, I’m very glad to see you.”

I looked around. There was no one else here, just me and Audrey. “Um, hi. You got captured?”

“Yes. They said they would harm Randolph if I didn’t come with them.” She sounded calm and cheerful. We really had to do something about the voice program on Audrey.

“Who’s they?”

“Major Nitin and his men.” She was sitting on the bed. Just sitting. Not pacing, not lying down, not wringing her hands, and, key point, not trying to get away. Just sitting.

“Ah, Audrey, did Randolph actually program you to do whatever a man said?”

“Oh, no, Captain. I have complete free will.”

“Then, uh, why didn’t you free will yourself out of here? I’m just guessing, but I’d bet you’re a lot stronger than I am, potentially able to break down the door.”

She nodded. “Yes, Captain. I am. However, they told me they’d hurt Randolph if I tried to escape.”

Ah, what he hadn’t programmed her for was how to tell when the risk to reward ratio was worth it. There probably wasn’t a lot of self-preservation in Audrey, either.

“Okay. Where’s Slinkie?”

“I don’t know, Captain.”

“She’s not here with you?”

“No, Captain.” Audrey looked around. “It’s not a large room.”

“I just thought I’d be finding Slinkie in here, that’s all.” My brain was registering that Audrey was the thing Nitin wanted to keep his eye on, and, presumably, what my mysterious friend wanted me to get out of here. “Can you track the others?”

“Oh, yes, Captain. Randolph gave me programming so that I can find any of you when I need to.”

“Audrey, we need to. I want to get the others and get out of here.” She shook her head. “I can’t leave. If I leave, they’ll hurt Randolph.” “I’m the captain, right?” She nodded. “I’m also Randolph’s friend.” She nodded again. “I’m also more experienced than you. Audrey, they’re going to hurt Randolph if we don’t get him and get out of here. They’re going to hurt Slinkie and the Governor, too. I don’t care what they told you, they’re lying.”

“They said they would torture and kill all of you if I didn’t cooperate.” Still said in that calm and cheerful way.

“Audrey, Randolph said you have feelings. Is that right?” She nodded. “Need to ask you a personal question. Do you actually feel as calm and cheerful as your voice would indicate?”

“No, Captain. I would like to cry and scream, but Randolph didn’t allow for that in my programming.”

“Really. Well. We’ll talk to him about fixing that. Once we save him and the others. Okay?”

“I’m afraid.” This was the first time I’d ever heard someone say that phrase with this much calm happiness in their voice. At least it was bothering her as much as me.

“I know. Me too. A little. But, you have to trust me. If Nitin wants you, then we need to ensure he doesn’t get to have you. Okay? I’m saying this as the captain.”

“Yes, Captain. Randolph did program me to consider you the leader and therefore to follow your instructions as long as the odds
of them causing greater harm than they were solving were not over seventy-five percent.”

“Where’re we at?”

“About seventy percent.”

“Great! Now, we’ll talk to Randolph about that pesky twenty-five percent later.” All I needed, an auto-help copilot who was going to second guess me at every turn.

“I have already made adjustments, Captain. I have run all history, and your odds of success are normally ninety-five percent, particularly when doing something considered dangerous and foolhardy.”

I was impressed. “Great. So, let me know when we’re dealing with that rare five percent. Otherwise, let’s get out of here and find the others.”

“I am happy to.” She cocked her gleaming head at me. “Would you like to clean up before we go?”

Took a look in the mirror. “Huh. Yes, thanks.” I washed the dirt and dust off my face and hands while Audrey did some very fast cleanup on my clothes. “How are you doing that?”

“I have a small but powerful vacuum in my right arm.” She showed me. Her wrist was bent in a way that, had she had bones, would have indicated she was never going to play the xaxachord again. Her forearm was hollow and she was using it to suck the dirt off me. She finished, emptied the dirt into a wastebasket, then closed her hand and arm back together. I couldn’t find the seam.

“Amazing. Once we’re safe, I’d like a full run down of your capabilities.”

“Of course, Captain.”

I handed her the system tracker. “I’m hoping one of those capabilities will let you tell us where the others are.”

Audrey nodded. “Yes.” She took it and twitched. I got the impression she was hooking into it. “They are all together.”

“Great!”

“They are also on this level.”

“Even better!”

“They are scheduled for termination in ten minutes.”

“M
oving out now, Audrey.” I went to the door. It locked from the inside. “Audrey, you’re not really a prisoner, did you know that?” I listened at the door. No sounds and no gray dots on the system tracker. I unlocked the lock, turned the handle and opened the door.

Nothing happened, so I opened the door wide and stuck my head out into the corridor. No one there.

“I was told to stay and wait, Captain.”

“Audrey, if you have free will, I hope that means you can start adapting a lot of your programming on your own. Start with the fact that most if not all humanoids are lying sacks of excrement. Add in the idea that someone who threatens you in this way is probably not only an aforementioned sack but also planning to use you for his own nefarious plans. And then add in whatever quality it is I have that keeps me and our crew alive.”

“You think like the sacks of excrement but you are actually a noble person.”

We stepped out into the corridor. “Noble? Ah, not so much, no. We’ll work on your comprehension program, too.”

“You are trying to save the others instead of just yourself. You saved Slinkie at great personal risk and you do not take advantage
of her even though you could. You take care of Randolph even though he failed at the Space Academy and should, by rights, be working in a Thurge power plant. You protect the Governor when others would have abandoned him. And you treat me as human even though it bothers you that I am not.”

I didn’t like that Audrey could pick that up. “Whatever. My supposed nobility aside, you need to lead the way, fast, to where the others are. And, how are they going to be terminated, can you tell?”

“Lethal gas.”

“Run fast, break down their door, or whatever you need to do to get them out of there safely, I’ll catch up.”

Audrey took off. I’d guessed right—she was able to move faster than a human. As I pounded down the corridor after her, I considered why Nitin wanted her. Didn’t have to think long. Reverse engineer her and you had the makings for the greatest army in the galaxy. If Randolph had put skin on her and allowed her to sound like a human instead of an automated response unit, it would be close to impossible to tell she was a Sexbot. Figured I needed to have that talk with Randolph sooner as opposed to later.

Found Audrey at the room at the end of the corridor. She was pounding on the door, but it wasn’t doing anything. “Reinforced steel, but I think it has an iron core, Captain.”

Tried the door handle, just to be sure. Nope, sadly, the others hadn’t been left on their own recognizance. Figured our team’s luck was out. I pulled out my lock picks. Unfortunately, I wasn’t looking at a Bulldog. I was looking at a Dragon. Dragon locks were considered impregnable. They weren’t, but they took longer. A lot longer.

I started the process. It took a lot of concentration, but I’d learned to pick locks before I’d met Randolph, and Dragons were always the test someone threw at you whenever they wanted to make you look bad. For some reason, a lot of people had wanted to make me look bad over the years.

“Three minutes left, Captain.”

“Should be done in two, two and a half. Two and three-quarters,
tops.” I raised my voice. “Get ready to hold your breath!” Wasn’t sure if my voice could to carry into their containment unit through the airtight door, but figured it was worth a shot.

“Two minutes.”

“Thanks for the extra pressure, Audrey.”

“One and a half minutes.”

“Shut the hell up, Audrey.”

I was on the last tumbler. Always the hardest. Always made with a little quirk that would cause you to take extra time. I forced myself to slow down and relax. Stress wasn’t your friend when it came to picking a Dragon.

“Forty-five seconds.” Apparently Audrey couldn’t resist adding on the extra pressure. No problem. Slinkie was behind the door, meaning I had the best incentive in the world to remain calm and get it open.

I was at the quirk and now came the real test. Dragons had infinite quirk options. Part of being able to pick them successfully was based on the lock picker’s ability to guess the quirk. Considering where we were, what this door was being used for, and what planet and planetary system it had been created for, I went with the idea that it would require muscle. Leaned on the pick and slammed the door handle at the same time. It didn’t open. But it didn’t relock, either.