Authors: Doris Lessing
As the afternoon neared its end, âWe'll meet again, don't know where, don't know whenâ¦' If you were a short way from the house looking out over the rise that soon would be carrying a new suburb, this song was unbearably sad, on and on, and then again, âWe'll meet againâ¦we'll meet againâ¦'
Quite soon my brother and I would pile our old cars with the young men and take them to town to catch their buses back to the camps, but meanwhile, even if it was the afternoon, they demanded to end with âGoodnight, Sweetheart'.
Full daylight still, the street-lights not yet on, but,
Goodnight, Sweetheart,
Goodnight, Sweetheart,
Till we meet tomorrow,
Goodnight, Sweetheart,
Sleep will banish sorrow,
Tears and parting
May make us forlorn,
But with the dawn,
A new day is born,
So I'll say
Goodnight, Sweetheartâ¦
By the time they left my mother might have been playing
popular songs for hours â Emily McVeagh, who had once been told by her music teachers that she could have a career as a concert pianist if she wanted.
âShe's a good sort,' said the RAF lads. âShe's a real sport, your mother.'
Those years before we all left Rhodesia, as ships became available, no, they were not a good time. You long for a war to end, and then it ends, andâ¦Sometimes, when life gets tough, I tell myself, âIf you could survive those years after the war, in Rhodesia, then you can survive anything.' I'm sure my mother wouldn't have much good to say about them. For one thing, both her children said to her, âNo, no, you will not run my life for me.'
âAnyone might think you were accusing me of being an interfering mother,' she cried, defiant, but humorous, because of the absurdity of it. There was even a roguish little twinkle, that begged me, my brother, to admit she was in the right, that what we had said was only a little fit of naughtiness. For a moment Emily McVeagh stood there, or perhaps even John McVeagh: I'm sure roguish twinkles were what he would go in for if unfairly accused.
I look back sometimes and see myself sitting on the steps of that house, listening to the thump-thump-thump of the jolly tunes, the wail of the sad ones, âThere is a long, long trail a-windingâ¦' and what I was thinking was, No, no, this is not possible.
The wireless is on, as always, telling us the news.
There are millions of refugees stumbling along bomb
cratered roads, starving, thirsty; there are thousands without homes; there is no harvest, no seeds to plant; in the ruins of Europe's great cities children are playing.
It could not be possible because every one of us had been brought up with âWash your hands before you sit down at table'; âNo, don't do that, or you'll tear your dress'; âPlease â you must say please and thank you'; âA good little boy'; âA bad little girl'; âBe nice, Emma, Chantal, Hans, Dick, Ivan, Ingrid â you must be kind', all that, but still the bombs fell andâ¦some of these children brought up to expect law and order had heard bombs falling for four, five years. âI simply cannot believe this isn't some awful dream.' So everyone, but everyone, was thinking, as we went through the war, the enormities of it, the weight of it, the horror of it, the grotesque nastiness of it all, This can't be happening, it can'tâ¦
Along the veranda one of the young men is playing with my mother's little white dog, while still humming to the tunes, âI'm gonna get a paper dollâ¦' He is bouncing a ball against a pillar and the dog is trying to catch it.
This young man, whose name I have forgotten, had had his own dog at home, but it had had to be put down: it was old, and its little stomach could not deal with the wartime food for animals. âMy mum did give him a little bit of her rations, but he was used to the best, my little dog was. His name was Patch, he had a black patch on an earâ¦' He bounced the ball hard, and the little dog leaped. âIt's about time we left, isn't it? Goodnight, sweetheart, We'll meet again tomorrowâ¦' he sang to the dog.
The RAF did at last get home, and they wrote letters, we wrote letters, and my mother sold the house, when my brother married, and for the short years before she died, at seventy-three, she spent her afternoons and evenings playing bridge with other widows. She was, they all said, a very good bridge-player.
*
Lenin once famously rebuked an inadequate young comrade, who planned extreme measures, saying that they were suffering from âleftwing infantile disorders'.
My thanks to the photographer Francesco Guidicini
who helped with some very old and sometimes
dilapidated photographs.
NOVELS
The Grass is Singing
The Golden Notebook
Briefing for a Descent into Hell
The Summer Before the Dark
Memoirs of a Survivor
Diary of a Good Neighbour
If the Old Could
â¦
The Good Terrorist
Love, Again
Mara and Dann
The Fifth Child
Ben, in the World
The Sweetest Dr.eam
The Story of General Dann and
Mara's
Daughter,
Griot
and the Snow Dog
The Cleft
âCanopus in Argos: Archives' series
Re: Colonised Planet 5,
Shikasta
The Marriages Between Zones Three,
Four, and Five
The
Sirian
Experiments
The Making of the Representative for
Planet 8
Documents Relating to the Sentimental
Agents in the
Volyen
Empire
âChildren of Violence' novel-sequence
Martha Quest
A Proper Marriage
A Ripple from the Storm
Landlocked
The Four-Gated City
OPERAS
The Marriages Between Zones Three,
Four and Five
(Music by Philip Glass)
The Making of the Representative for
Planet 8
(Music by Philip Glass)
SHORT STORIES
Five
The Habit of Loving
A Man and Two Women
The Story of a Non-Marrying Man
and Other Stories
Winter in July
The Black Madonna
This Was the Old Chief's
Country
(Collected African Stories, Vol. 1)
The Sun Between Their Feet
(Collected African Stories, Vol. 2)
To Room Nineteen
(Collected Stories, Vol. 1)
The Temptation of Jack Orkney
(Collected Stories, Vol. 2)
London Observed
The Old Age of El
Magnifico
Particularly Cats
Rufus the Survivor
On Cats
The Grandmothers
POETRY
Fourteen Poems
DRAMA
Each His Own Wilderness
Play with a Tiger
The Singing Door
GRAPHIC NOVEL
Playing the Game
(illustrated by Charlie Adlard)
non-fiction
In Pursuit of the English
Going Home
A Small Personal Voice
Prisons We Choose to Live Inside
The Wind Blows Away Our Words
African Laughter
Time Bites
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Under My Skin: Volume 1
Walking in the Shade: Volume 2
First published in Great Britain in 2008 by
Fourth Estate
An imprint of HarperCollins
Publishers
77â85 Fulham Palace Road
London W6 8JB
www.4thestate.co.uk
Visit our authors' blog: www.fifthestate.co.uk
Copyright © Doris Lessing 2008
1
The right of Doris Lessing to be identified as the author of this
work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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ePub edition September 2008 ISBN-9780007283200
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