Alien in Chief (19 page)

CHAPTER 36

“C
RAP!”
I spilled my drink, which was a brightly multicolored fruit slushie, onto myself. It looked accidental, but the proof that it wasn't was that I didn't get it onto anyone else at the table.

Of course, those who'd been with me when I'd made this plan were less surprised than they could have been, but they all faked it well enough. Everyone else grabbed their drinks and looked freaked out.

“It's okay, folks,” Kenton said reassuringly, as Duncan raced over with a towel to try to help me clean off. “Just hit a bump on the track.”

A quick survey of the Secret Service agents on board told me and everyone else this was true. Other tables relaxed and went back to eating.

“I think my clothes need the Operations Team to have a hope of recovery,” I said, after Duncan and I had done our best to clean me up, with not a lot of success.

“Did you bring a change?” Elaine asked worriedly.

“Yeah, but not enough to have options if this happens again. And, seeing as it's me, and seeing as trains remain bumpy and I remain klutzy, do you think it's the end of the world if I just change into jeans?”

Armstrong looked at Elaine. Who pursed her lips. “Well . . . we're on a campaigning mission, at least partially,
so you won't be dressed appropriately for that. However, you do have a reputation as being laid back and a rebel. So it could work to our advantage, showing that you're going to be you no matter what.”

“Then it's settled,” Armstrong said. “Do you want to change now or finish your food first?”

“If you don't mind if I use hyperspeed, I'll finish.” Why waste any of the great food was my motto.

Armstrong nodded to indicate I could go ahead, which I did. Then I excused myself and headed back to our car, Evalyne and Phoebe coming with me.

“Smooth,” Evalyne said once we were in our car. “I honestly don't think anyone who wasn't in on the fact that you were going to do something realized the spill was intentional.”

“We're not going to let you leap into anything, you know,” Phoebe added.

“As if leaping in is my first choice? And I don't mean that sarcastically. But, we all know the escaped prisoners are going to be coming after us. I'm a lot safer dressed like this.” I pulled the Aerosmith shirt on and heaved a contented sigh. I was always better with my boys on my chest.

Considered the Fall Out Boy hoodie. “Think I'm going to need this?”

“If it rains,” Phoebe said. “And I checked the humidity index before we left. We'll be heading into some potential showers, though hopefully not at any of our stops.”

“I'd leave it here until you need it, though,” Evalyne said. “Unless you're chilly from the air conditioning.”

Contemplated. “I was hotter in the nice clothes. So, yeah, I'll put it on. Why risk getting a cold?”

“It's a low risk,” Evalyne said drily, “but good for you setting the good example for your children, even if they're not here.”

“Blah, blah, blah. Everyone's a critic. And since Vince,
Ariel, and Strauss are all sniffling and look crappy, I think the risk of getting a cold is up significantly. Vince has had that cold for at least a week.”

Gave Bruno some scritchy-scratches and Ginger some pets, then headed back and got to have dessert with everyone. I'd made it a point to not miss any food of any kind on the train, and Andrea's pastries didn't disappoint.

When we were done, Jeff, Armstrong, Mom, Strauss, Ariel, Raj, and their gaggle of Secret Service and A-C agents went back to the War Room. Mercifully, I was told I wasn't needed, possibly so I wouldn't get into another fight with Strauss.

Regardless of the reason, I was happy to have the downtime. However, hanging out at a table alone was no fun. Moved to join Vance, Claudia, and Lorraine, who were at a table between the one with Reader, Gower, Tim, and Caroline, and the one with Tito, Rahmi, Rhee, and Adriana. Oliver and Stryker were at the two-seater across the aisle, White and Christopher were at the two-seater across from Reader, and Mahin and Abigail were at the two-seater across from Tito.

Buchanan, Len, Kyle, and Falk, who'd been eating at the table behind mine originally, followed me, though they stayed standing around all of us, as did Evalyne and Phoebe.

“Nice of you guys to join the party,” Reader said, as I sat down. “The one thing we're lacking is a place that's not called the War Room to hang out with this number of people. The guest cars are great, but they're designed to sit those who are sleeping in each car, not to bring in a party.”

“I'm glad we're here,” Tim said. “Since I expect an attack at any time.”

“They'll wait until we're farther away from D.C.,” Lorraine said.

Claudia nodded. “Or try at NASA Base.”

“I'm expecting attacks constantly, but that's just me.”

“Yeah, speaking of which,” Tito said, “what's this we hear about you and the Secretary of State going at it? What happened?”

“It's Kitty,” Christopher said. “Why ask why?”

“I don't like her. And I don't trust her, either.”

“Think she's on the Mastermind's side?” Gower asked.

“Not sure. I'm certain she's on her own side, though. And that side isn't looking at any of us, Jeff in particular, in a helpful and friendly way.”

“That's just politics,” Reader said. “Unfortunately.”

“Yeah. She was wearing an emotional blocker or overlay, too. Which is business as usual for us. Speaking of which, have we heard anything from anyone regarding all the things going on that we're hoping to prevent?”

Everyone shook their heads. “We've only really been gone around three or four hours, and only about ninety minutes on the train,” Reader pointed out. “We'll be hitting Richmond soon, though. You ready?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.”

“I'm worried that the President isn't going to be up to this,” Tito said. “He looks terrible.”

“He doesn't look all that bad, I don't think. He's got some weeklong cold, and I guess he's given it to Ariel and Strauss, but otherwise he looks fine.”

“He's in makeup,” Tito said flatly. “It's a very good makeup job, but it's still makeup. To hide that he looks ill.”

“Really? I hadn't noticed.”

“That's not a surprise, and I don't mean that as an insult,” Tito added quickly. “But the makeup is good enough that you're not supposed to notice it. I did because I'm a doctor, and I was paying attention to how he looked the moment I heard him sniffle.”

“Does that mean he has a makeup person with us?” Tim asked. “Because I didn't spot their name if so, and I went over the passenger list.”

Looked to Evalyne who spoke into her wristcom. “Need
verification of who's handling Slick's hair and makeup on this trip. Huh, you're sure Sophistication is handling those duties? Really? Okay, thanks. Yes, reassure Playboy that Cyclone is contained. For now.”

“I resent that. And tell them to say hi to Cosmos for me.”

The Secret Service assigned code names to their charges, as shorthand and a form of protection. They used those names when they were talking to each other about us, but when we were just having normal person conversations they managed to use our real names. Names were also assigned by letter, so if your main person's nickname started with a B, anyone and everyone under their protection detail got B names as well.

Armstrong had landed his family a set of S names, and Jeff had gotten his C names. Jamie was Cutiepie and Charlie was Challenger. Chuckie, because of who he was to us and what his cover was for the C.I.A., had gotten the Playboy moniker.

Evalyne shook her head. “You two have been apart for less than five minutes.”

“Jeff and I like spending time together. Anyway, so the word is that Elaine is doing Vince's hair and makeup? Isn't that hella unusual?”

“It is,” Phoebe replied. “Almost as unusual as you being contained.”

“Ha ha ha, this is me laughing uproariously. Seriously, though, doesn't that seem odd, especially because we're stumping
and
meeting alien dignitaries?”

Tito looked more worried. “I think it signifies that the President has more than a cold.”

Reader and Gower exchanged a look, and both of them looked at White, who nodded. “I'll see what I can learn from the First Lady when we have a moment.” As I'd slowly learned, White was a ladies' man of the highest order. If anyone was going to get state or family secrets out of Elaine, it'd be him.

“Good,” Gower said. “I'll speak to the President when there's an opportune time, as well.”

The train jerked a little, and Wade called to us from the kitchen area. “We're pulling into Richmond, folks. Think you might want to get to wherever you need to be for this stop.”

Phoebe checked her watch. “We're a little early.”

“Is that good, bad, or indifferent?”

She shrugged. “That all depends on what's waiting there for us.”

“Ah,” Gower said. “So, routine.”

CHAPTER 37

T
HE THING ABOUT
campaign stumping was that you weren't using the train like normal people did, to get from one location to another. Using the train to campaign meant stopping where you could be seen, preferably out in the open.

The special thing about how we were doing it was that we hadn't done a lot of publicity leading up to this particular dog and pony show. The reasons for this lack were good, but it meant that, at least at the first few stops, there might be no reason
to
stop.

Both of these things meant that we weren't going into the train station so much as pulling up, getting out, and stretching our legs, while casually looking around for people to impress and being shocked, just shocked, if there were people there to press the flesh in an impromptu manner.

Richmond had a nice station, and, thankfully, an area where we could indeed stop and get out that left us outside but not overwhelmingly exposed.

We exited from the cars we were in—the crowd, such as it was, wasn't large enough to have Armstrong and Jeff bother to campaign from the caboose.

The weather was pleasant, but I felt the humidity in the
air. Hoped I wouldn't be sweating like a pig shortly—I was a desert dweller by birth and preference and I liked my heat dry, thank you. Humidity and I weren't pals, and I could already feel my hair starting to go limp.

We didn't have a large crowd but there were people milling about, some of whom seemed very excited to see us, or at least Armstrong and Jeff. Those two started shaking hands, giving out hugs, and taking selfies with various people almost immediately.

No one seemed to spot me, and Elaine wasn't being bothered either, so I figured we weren't going to be doing the Wives' Show Of Support Bit right now.

Spent the time, therefore, looking around. Not only to see the station, but to see if there was anyone lurking somewhere. A group of assassins out of prison made me nervous for some strange reason.

But, look though I did, I didn't spot anyone who looked familiar, threatening, or was where they shouldn't be.

Got dragged over to shake some paws, which I did. No one asked why I was dressed casually and I didn't offer any explanations, either. Just figured that someone would take a picture, post it, and then all the social media outlets would have a field day. It kept them occupied and off the streets, so whatever.

There were a couple reporters there, but they seemed far more excited that the President and VP both were there than anything else. Lots of pictures, professional and otherwise, were taken, but this wasn't a surprise—Jeff sort of drew the camera's attention naturally. Being the hottest thing on two legs tended to garner that response.

I wasn't the only one keeping an eye on things, of course. The Secret Service were doing a good showing of standing around looking quietly menacing. Plus Alpha Team was here and, though Gower and White were both still on the train, Reader, Tim, Lorraine, and Claudia were all out and
keeping an eye on things. Several of the A-C agents were zipping around at hyperspeed checking everything in the vicinity.

Christopher was also out and ready. He'd done a perimeter search before the others, and was waiting for any projectile of any kind to get tossed toward any of us, himself included.

We were all dressed up with nothing to fight, though. Didn't know whether to be relieved or let down. Tried for relieved.

Didn't spot any of the agents Mom had said would be here, but presumably that was because they were hidden or hiding in plain sight. Did spot the light rain when it started, which gave us all a reason to end things here.

Uneventful stop at Richmond over, it was back on the train and off to Petersburg. No one bothered with the War Room this time—we all congregated in the dining car or the caboose, depending. We barely had time to sit and sip a beverage and then we were there.

Petersburg's station was much plainer, though still nice. And, as with Richmond, while there were some people there, there weren't a lot of them, and no one was lurking about.

Once again we got out, did some waving, took some pictures, talked to some people, shook some paws, got slightly wet, and got back into the train. So far, no one had cared how I was dressed.

With two stops in the win column, we were feeling pretty good when we got back into the train cars. Well, most of us were feeling pretty good. Armstrong, Ariel, and Strauss were all feeling crappy. Felt bad for Armstrong and Ariel.

Tito waited until everyone was back inside, then he cornered the three of them. “You're all sick, and you're all trying to pretend you're not. I'm watching you get sicker by
the minute. All of you need to go back to your quarters and get some rest, you especially, Mister President.”

They started to argue, but Elaine stepped in. “Doctor Hernandez is right. Vince, you look ready to drop, and Monica, you're not doing much better. Ariel, let's not let you get as bad as these two, okay? All of you, let's head for our car and let the doctor do his work. Rocky Mount is our next stop and that gives everyone a good two hours or so of rest.”

Strauss and Ariel looked like they were going to continue to protest, but Armstrong nodded. “You're both right.” He gave the other two a weak smile. “Let's get that rest.”

Everyone in the President's car headed off and Tito went with them. Told Manfred and the rest of my A-C detail to go with Mom, which they did. Some others wandered toward their cars, but most of us stayed in the main dining car. Chuckie watched them go, eyes narrowed.

“What?” I asked him quietly.

“Could be nothing.”

“It usually isn't.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm just wondering who else is sick.” He shook himself. “I'm going to make some calls, Kitty. I'll be back.” Chuckie strode off toward the front of the train.

Jeff and Raj were having a quiet discussion and I joined them. It turned out they were discussing policy. I kissed Jeff and quickly left them alone.

For whatever reason, I didn't feel like chatting with anyone, so headed for the more private dining car, where I found White and Gower with the requisite Secret Service and A-C guards. Couldn't complain—my shadows were with me, too.

Joined them for drinks and snacks, while I indicated that Len, Kyle, Evalyne, and Phoebe should all take a load off, too, which they did, albeit unwillingly. Lincoln bustled
over to get our orders. I did love the food options on the train.

“Guys, slavish devotion to duty is great, but if there's one thing I've learned from hanging with these guys,” indicated White and Gower, “it's to take the rest times when you find them.”

White chuckled. “Good to know you've picked something up, Missus Martini.”

“You thinking it's going to be action time soon?”

Gower sighed. “No guess, honestly. I'm relieved nothing's happened so far. However, the smart money says that's not going to last.”

We had a light tea service, which was very nice. You'd never have known that I'd eaten not too long ago. I was hungry again. Oh well, I didn't want anyone working on the train to think I wasn't appreciative of their efforts, after all.

“You pregnant again?” Gower asked me as I ate my third scone.

“Not that I know of, why?”

“You're eating a lot.”

“She always does when action looms,” White pointed out. “I believe it's due to her enhanced metabolism.”

“Aren't you sweet? No, it's because I really like food. But, yeah, I expect to work this off somewhere in the near future, Paul, thanks for the concern.”

He grinned. “Just wanted to make sure we shouldn't be sidelining you for an important reason.”

Raj came through on his way to see if Ariel was awake or not, and he stopped to chat with us about the likelihood that there was some new danger looming that the Alpha Centauri system wanted our help with.

More stress we couldn't do anything about done, Raj headed off for Rail Force One and I decided all the talk of naps along with tea and scones had made me sleepy, so I excused myself and headed for our car, Len, Kyle, Evalyne and Phoebe naturally going with me. Of course, the idea of
napping with four people watching over me like I was the oldest kid in daycare wasn't that appealing.

Make that six people. Got into my car to find Buchanan and Chuckie there. They both looked a little stressed, but as soon as we arrived Chuckie took off, after telling me to have a good nap.

So, I settled into one of the comfy chairs we had and sort of dozed. For about five minutes.

Pulled out my earbuds and my iPod. Sure, my phone had all my music in it, too, and my earphones were able to answer calls, too, but I was still emotionally attached to my iPod. But I might not hear my phone if it rang, and considering my children were basically home alone without me, I didn't think that was a good idea.

Kyle came over. “Hey, I made a playlist for you,” he said, sounding a little embarrassed. Kyle ran my iPod whenever I wasn't in charge of the sound system, and he controlled the music in the limos and the Embassy for the most part, too, since he was clear on what I liked.

“Really? That's very sweet of you.”

He grinned. “Just seemed like you were going to need something special.” He took my phone and fiddled with it along with his. “There, it's sent, and set up.”

“Modern technology is the greatest. By the way, are you insinuating I should be listening to tunes now?”

He shrugged. “It relaxes you and you can still pay attention even if you have earbuds in. So, yeah.”

“And this is why you're my favorite.”

Did as Kyle suggested, dropped my iPod back into my purse, and plugged my earbuds into my phone. Sure, it wasn't my normal thing, but I could adapt and get with the new ways. And this way, I wasn't going to be a terrible mother and miss any important calls or texts while I, hopefully, fell asleep so as to dream through the boredom that this trip was becoming.

Kyle had created a Trains, Planes, and Automobiles
playlist for me. Made sure the volume was low, hit play, and let the music start.

Heard exactly six bars of UB40's “She Caught the Train” when my phone rang. Always the way.

And, in keeping with how my life rolled, the number was blocked.