Read Alien in the House Online
Authors: Gini Koch
“I
'M NOT SAYING
you can't trust me, Kitty,” Raj said patiently. “I am saying that based on Colonel Hamlin's warnings, and speaking somewhat modestly, I fall under Colonel Hamlin's area of concern.”
“So, if you're brilliant enough to be the Mastermind, why were you hanging out at New Delhi Base all this time?”
Raj shrugged. “My skills don't fall toward medicine, mathematics, or science. I'm a good investigator, and I've been asking for a Centaurion Division Main post for years. Until the invasion earlier this year, I was told that since Centaurion Division wasn't into creating entertainment no one needed troubadours and I should enjoy myself and catch a few more Bollywood movies.”
“Christopher, that was very rude.” This earned me Patented Glare #5.
“How do you know I'm the one that said that? It could have been someone else.”
“Was it?”
“No. But it could have been.”
Jeff sighed. “Christopher, we have to figure out what to do with that disk. I need to be able to function.”
“I don't want it lost or stolen,” Christopher said, while sharing Patented Glare #2.
“We need some leaded casing to keep Superman's Kryptonite from draining his powers. But the person we'd ask for this stuff is one of the people we're no longer supposed to trust.” I was really hating this, in no small part because my mother and oldest friend were supposedly on the untrustworthy side of the house.
“Let's determine who we
can
trust,” White said. “Before Christopher goes in search of Mister Buchanan and Colonel Hamlin. Then Jeffrey can read Rajnish and we can continue on with the unraveling of the latest attempts to ruin our lives.”
“Succinctly put. What Richard said. Let's start with the obviousâthere's no way Paul or any of the Gowers are against us.”
“Gladys could be,” Raj said.
“Why so?” Jeff asked a tad belligerently.
“Because she's only Former Pontifex White's half sister. Her loyalties could lie with her late father.”
“Rajnish is correct to bring it up,” White said quickly, before Jeff could get angry. “But I can assure all of you that Gladys, like every other Gower, is definitely not on the side of my late father, the Purity of the Race Contingent, nor the War Division group.”
“Richard, I'm so proud. You used all my Bad Guy Group names.”
“I've decided the battle against them is fruitless.”
“Wise man takes the path of least resistance. Okay, so Claudia and Lorraine, and their parents, I know they're trustworthy. James for sure. Tim proved himself way back when, so he's in. Same with the flyboys. And Tito.”
“So, you think the core team when Jeff, you, and I were the heads of Centaurion Division are all cleared?”
“Yes, because we all went through too much. Honestly, I realize that Hamlin suspects Chuckie, but I go back to what Amy said during Operation Destructionâno one, no matter how brilliant, would allow themselves to be that close to real death. There was no way Chuckie could have guessed Christopher's Surcenthumain boosted talent level, or known that Richard, the Poofs, and I would arrive in time or be able to do anything.”
“I agree, especially because I was there. And I think the idea that your mother is trying to do anything to hurt you is insane, baby. No matter what Hamlin may have said.”
“I would see most of our key personnel as being cleared,” White agreed. “Kevin and Mister Buchanan as well. I agree wholeheartedly with Jeffrey, and I include your father in that as well. It's impossible to believe that your mother would have allowed anyone even remotely suspect to be this close to her only daughter and grandchild.”
“Mom's been fooled before. Chuckie, too.”
“But only because of governmental protections,” White countered.
Raj cocked his head. “Washington.”
“Excuse me?” Jeff asked.
But I got it. “The people we probably can't trust are those we've come to know since changing jobs and moving here. The former Diplomatic Corps may have been friends with them, but they were one with both the Purity of the Race and the War Division plots, so for all we know, they'd know exactly who was behind this.” Only the Poofs had eaten them.
“Doreen is suspect, however,” White said, apparently on my wavelength. “While I don't for one moment doubt her loyalty to us, the fact that we did kill her parents could easily make her a double agent.”
“It was self-defense and she hated them. But yeah, you're right. It's a stretch to see her as the Mastermind, though. Not because she's not brilliant enoughâboth she and Irving are certainly smart enough to make that cutâbut because she's too young.”
“Camilla is a spy,” Jeff said. “And she's worked as at least a double agent for us already.”
“Triple, really. And yeah, your dad hired her, but I agree, we probably can't trust her implicitly. And she'd also be smart enough, and she's older than Doreen, so she also has Mastermind potential. Though she's the only reason we're all still alive.”
“Who else?” Jeff asked. “Of our closer personnel, I mean.”
“Pierre, Len, and Kyle. I think they're all clear, honestly. Especially if we accept the fact that there's no way Chuckie's the Mastermind.”
“Magdalena,” White said. “We're intimate, but that could be her getting close.”
Christopher shot his father Patented Glare #1. “There's no way you mean that.”
“I don't mean that I don't trust her. I mean that, based on this particular exercise, we need to move her into the Mastermind potential group.”
“Don't take this the wrong way, but is she smart enough?” Dazzlers were, without question. Nurse Carter was pretty damn smart, but I wasn't ready to declare her a genius on Chuckie's level.
“If she's truly the Mastermind, we wouldn't know,” White replied. He seemed completely unperturbed.
“Richard, you're finding this funny in some way, aren't you?”
“In that sense, I suppose I am. In part because I believe Rajnish has hit the nail on its proverbial headâthese actions against us are coming from someone who is a high-level Washington insider, therefore we need to look at high-level Washington insiders who we've only interacted with this past year.”
“What about the freeloaders?” Jeff asked.
“Hacker International's loyalties are to Chuckie, and I've known these guys for years, especially Stryker. As long as we all agree that Chuckie's not the evil Mastermind, then I think it's safe to clear them. Olga and Adriana, too, really. I'm only alive because of them.”
“What about the others you told to meet you in the computer lab?” Raj asked, using the nice name for where Hacker International hung out.
“The Middle Eastern Contingent falls into the same area as Doreen. Unlikely to be against us, but shouldn't be given full info until we're sure. Same with Cliff, who for sure is brilliant enough to be the Mastermind, although he's almost too young. Same with all the politicians and lobbyists we know, even Senator McMillan.”
“Colonel Franklin?” Jeff asked.
Shook my head. “He was okayed way too long ago. The dude who was the head of Area Fifty-One is in no way going to be the evil anti-alien Mastermind. However, I don't know how much we want him, or Captain Morgan, involved. Similar to the K-9 cops, called in when needed but military, like police, tend to get in the way.”
“I can agree with all that,” Christopher said. “So, do I take the disk with me or leave it with all of you? If I run into trouble the disk could get damaged or stolen, and if Jeff can feel people in the Zoo, we've determined range.”
“Put it in Kitty's purse,” Jeff said. “That's where we store most of the bugs anyway.”
“Ha ha ha, you are so funny.” I took the disk and put it into the little zippered pocket on the inside of my handbag, hopefully keeping it safe from damage or theft.
“Okay, Jeff, I don't plan to be gone too long, but do your best to monitor me the moment you can. I know that'll be close to impossible because of the tunnels' shielding, but pay attention because for all I know, I'll find something that will lead me above ground.” Christopher grinned. “So I won't block you.”
Jeff laughed. “Will do. Be careful.” He looked at Bruno. “I don't care if you're all still upset with him or not. He'd better come back safelyâand I mean that with the idea of it being the most direct order possibleâor else we'll be having stuffed Peregrine for dinner with a side of diced Poof.”
The animals all shot me looks that said they knew I'd never allow that
but
they'd humor Jeff anyway.
White kicked the part of the wall that opened the door to the Tunnels of Doom and Christopher and his Alpha Four Animal Honor Guard took off.
“D
O WE WAIT HERE
for Christopher or do we head up and see about getting something done?” White asked. Months ago we'd identified where the elevator button was on the inside of the tunnels, so he wasn't suggesting stranding his only son.
“I don't think we have a clear enough idea of what's really going on yet to make a lot of headway in the done department. But if we're open to ideas, I really do want to talk to Eugene, especially if Raj is right and the Mastermind is in attendance. And then I want to give James Santiago's message and clean out his office like he asked me to.”
“You also have several diplomatic couples waiting for you in the computer lab,” Raj reminded me. “You need to see to them before you do anything else.”
“And no one's going to let you into Santiago's office at this time of night, baby.”
“Good point.” Time of night brought up another, differently pressing concern. “Oh my God, what are we going to do about Jamie and the other kids? Serene told me Brian went to the Pontifex's Residence, I presume for the same reason Camilla was in attendance. But I don't want Jamie picking up anything that's gone on, and I know she will if we bring her home right now.”
“Not to worry,” White said. “The children, and all your pets, are all spending the night. I called Denise and Gladys as soon as your mother advised us we weren't to leave the room, but before my phone was confiscated. The Operations Team will bring over anything that's needed and Gladys increased Security where they are as well.”
“The Elves always deliver. But, really, Mom took your phone, Richard?”
“She took mine, too,” Raj said. “We probably should get those back.”
“So, we're going back to the Zoo. Jeff, did Mom take your phone, too?”
“No, I claimed diplomatic immunity and the likelihood that her daughter would try to call me. We can head back, but you all need to remember that we have to keep a lot of what we just discussed to ourselves.”
“Mom and Chuckie are not going to want to hear that the Dingo's in town, for example.” I knew they'd find out, somehow, and already dreaded their reactions.
“The assassins I'd like to tell them about, but I know you promised. However, when the Dingo shoots one of us, you may change your mind.” Jeff didn't sound like he was joking.
“He said he wasn't after anyone I'd care about. I think he's clearer than many about who I care about.” Why I was suddenly defending Peter the Dingo Dog I couldn't say, but when I'd been with him and Surly Vic I truly hadn't picked up any danger or animosity coming from them. Which was more than I could ever say when I was around half of the Cabal of Evil.
“You're giving a lot of credit to a man who spent all his efforts the first time you met him trying to kill you, me, and our daughter.”
“He's got that weird sense of honor. I don't think he'll ever accept a job on us now. It's why Magdalena's still alive, too.”
“Speaking of whom, I believe she should be, if not warned, then at least protected,” White said. “And I'd like to ensure that our people at the hospital are well.”
“From what Officer Melville told us, it sounds like we have a lot of people over there. Jeff, should we send someone with Richard?”
“I hate to say this, but the farther I am from the blocker in your purse, the more use I'm going to be.”
“Great, so once everyone's phones are back in their possession, Jeff, you and Richard will go to the hospital, and Raj and I will go upstairs and visit Hacker International. I'm sure Ravi will leap at the chance to reverse engineer something easier than an android.”
Jeff heaved a sigh, but he hit the switch that took us back up. He pulled me to him and hugged me. “A night when Jamie's having a sleepover should mean we never leave the bedroom,” he murmured as he nuzzled my ear.
“Mmmm-hmmm.” I couldn't talkâanytime his mouth was near me like this I had to focus on not grinding against him.
He chuckled and hugged me tighter. “Nice to see you returning to sort of normal.” Jeff kissed the top of my head. “Remember, what happened to Santiago isn't your fault any more than it's Ed Brewer's. Regardless of who did or didn't give him directions, Eugene's the one who murdered someone tonight, not any of us.”
I leaned my head against his chest and let his double-heartbeats soothe me. Jeff was right, and I knew it, but it had been nice to be focused on something, anything, other than having watched Reyes die in front of me.
“Are we sure that Representative Brewer was not involved?” Raj asked.
So much for soothing. “I'm not sure.”
“I am,” Jeff said. “We need to search him and his wife. If they aren't wearing any emotional blockers or whatever, then they're clean. I can still feel people over at the party. And I've gotten to know Ed over the past few months. He feels right.”
“That's not necessarily enough for us to go on,” I pointed out.
Jeff sighed. “Fine. Here's what I'm getting. Ed's ripping himself up right now for giving his water to Santiago. Nathalie's blaming herself for having had the affair with Eugene in the first place. Ed's furious with Eugene and regretting not telling Lydia before tonight. Nathalie's terrified that Ed's going to blame her for what's gone on and she's also worried about everyone else's reactions. They're both so upset their emotions are as clear as yours normally are, baby.”
“As soon as we can, I'll have Security search everyone âas a precaution,'” Raj said as we reached the basement. “But those don't sound like emotions you'd automatically have programmed in.”
“Who knows what the latest crazed evil geniuses consider normal emotions?” We zipped upstairs. Decided to verify all was really well over here before we went back to the Zoo. “Com on.”
“Yes, Chief Katt-Martini?”
“Walt, how's everything over here? Are we secure and do we have personnel in the Embassy again?”
“I have the shielding up on the Embassy, but have had to open shields on the Zoo, or else no one could get in or out. However, per my discussion with Consul White, I've closely monitored the walkway doors between buildings and have only opened for authorized personnel.”
“Walter, who, besides Christopher, myself, Kitty, Raj, and Richard, have you let through?” Jeff asked.
“Only Camilla, Chief. She said she needed to check something out on Mister Reynolds' order.”
We looked at each other. “Um, Walter, where did she go when she was in here?”
“She stayed in the lower levels, Chief Katt-Martini. Second and first floors.”
“So, she didn't try to go into the basement?” Jeff asked.
“No, Chief. Wouldn't you have seen her in there?”
My brain kicked. “Walter, you monitor the basement, right?”
“Of course, Chief Katt-Martini. The basement is set up to be monitored. The tunnel levels less so, but that's because most of the tunnels are now monitored from the computer lab, per Mister Reynolds' order.”
They were monitored using human-created sensors and roving cameras, but I'd forgotten that I could have asked Hacker International if they'd spotted Buchanan and Hamlin in some way. Well, I'd do that when Raj and I went up there in a bit.
“So, what happened to Malcolm and the, um, visitor we had down there?”
“Oh, Mister Buchanan told me he was taking your guest somewhere safer. They left via the tunnel system before you'd sat down to dinner. He didn't say you didn't know,” Walter added, the worry clear in his voice.
“We've just been a little worried about where Malcolm went is all. Missed the communiqué from him, but all's well if he told you he was taking our guest somewhere.” I sincerely hoped.
“Thanks, Walter,” Jeff said. “Go back to monitoring.”
“Yes, Chief.” The com went dead.
“So, what do you think Camilla was doing over here?” Jeff asked as he pulled out his phone and sent a text, presumably to Christopher to let him know that Buchanan was in control of the situation when they'd left the Embassy.
“You want to search or you want to ask her?”
“I want to do both. Wait here.” Jeff zipped off at the fast hyperspeed. He was back momentarily. “Nothing seems missing or out of place, at least not in my office, or anywhere else. Raj, you might want to check yours.”
“Yes, sir.” Raj zipped off and was back even faster than Jeff. When you got right down to it, hyperspeed was really great. “No, Ambassador, nothing seems to be disturbed.”
“Jeff. You called Kitty by her first name. Do it with me, too. That's an order, if it helps.”
Raj grinned. “It helps . . . Jeff.”
“We both tend to prefer informality, Raj,” I added.
“No one prefers it more than you, baby, but that's part of your charm.”
“So you claim. Now that that's settled, let's find out what Camilla was doing. We're only jumpy because of what Haâ, ah, our guest told me.”
“Nice save, baby. If we're assuming our absent guest is right, however, we need to remain jumpy.”
“What if, despite our beliefs to the contrary, Mister Reynolds is actually involved?” Raj asked carefully.
“Then we deal with it. Because I don't believe Chuckie's involved in anything that's working against us, at least not consciously or willingly.”
“We need to determine if Camilla was really in here on his orders,” Jeff said. “And we need to find out what she was looking for and why, whether she came in here on his orders or not.”
“Asking directly may not be wise,” White pointed out.
“Then we'll be sneaky about it.” Took Jeff's hand. “Let's get over to the other side.”
Zipped through the Embassy and over the walkway. Stopped before we hit Grandmother's House, but only because we had to. A part of me was really willing to just run out of the Zoo and keep on going. But most of me wanted to know what the hell was going on and get it stopped.
We hadn't been gone all that long, so we still had a lot of official people milling around on the second floor. Camilla and Chuckie were not among them. But this proved nothing, one way or the other.
I resented the fact that even a little part of me was wondering if Chuckie could be the Mastermind. I'd gotten over a lot of my hatred of D.C. but today's events were threatening to bring it all back, and then some.
Of course, if I were the Mastermind, I'd want to be sure I focused blame on some easy targets. And there was no target easier or more obvious than Chuckie. Therefore, my job, as his oldest and best friend, was to ensure that I didn't fall for the scam, and that I figured out who was behind it. No problem, I was Megalomaniac Girlâthis was right there in my wheelhouse.
My internal dilemma solved, I turned back to the matters at hand, the first of which was calming Pierre down, because if I was freaked, he was freaked to the tenth power.
Time was spent in hugs, reassurances that no one in their right mind could hold him responsible, and confirmation that there was still no one better at being our Majordomo Concierge and he was, of course, not going anywhere other than to bed to relax and then to his offices to craft our clever PR response.
We'd easily spent as much time comforting Pierre as we had discussing evil plots against us, so by the time we were done, the K-9 squad were all together and had joined us, Prince nudging in between me and Jeff to get a double dose of petting from his two favorite ambassadors. His words, not mine.
“We're ready to clear out, Ambassadors,” Melville said. “We have our killer caught and in custody, have everyone's statements, and Centaurion Division's agreed to let us take possession of the prisoner and book him.”
“Is Eugene still on the premises?” I asked.
“He's downstairs in a secured car,” Melville said. “Some of your people are there.”
“I want to talk to him. Before he leaves.”
Melville shrugged. “Fine with me.”
“Don't go alone,” Jeff said.
“I won't be alone.” I took Prince's lead from Melville. “You okay with me snagging your dog again?”
Melville grinned. “Nope, he loves you two.”
“I meant take another person.” Jeff looked worried.
“No.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “He may not talk if you're there. Prince will rip Eugene's throat out if he tries anything.”
“Promise?” Jeff asked.
Prince wuffed. “Yes, we both promise. Wait here until I'm back, though, please and thank you.”
Prince and I trotted downstairs. There were a lot of Security A-Cs around. Had a feeling they'd been called in from most of the Bases worldwideâthe only time I'd seen this many in one place was at the Dome. I knew none of the Dome personnel had been pulled away. But even so, there were a lot of big, hulking, handsome guys hanging around in black Armani suits.