Alien vs. Alien (22 page)

CHAPTER 37

W
E HEADED BACK UPSTAIRS
to find everyone calm and safe. Jamie was happy to see us and demanded kisses from all three of us to make up for our long absence. Then she demanded to go back to Olga while Christopher compared notes with the others about what they’d seen differently from us—nothing—and where we thought this put us—nowhere.

Christopher grilled Armstrong, but he seemed to know no more about Club 51 than the rest of us. He might have been lying, but we had more immediate questions and concerns, so I chose to believe him for the moment.

Jamie happily back in Olga’s lap, I decided to get us back onto some kind of track. “So, Senator, enough about our good friends from Club Fifty-One. I’d like your thoughts about why someone would have given me a bizarre test in place of the real HSAC.”

“How bizarre? You didn’t give me many details before.”

“It was a psychological profile.”

“They all are.”

“They aren’t all like this. Every answer was set up tހo ensure I’d sound like a psycho, no matter how I answered. It was easily triple the length of everyone else’s tests. And the questions at the end related to Chuckie and Cantu. Nothing relating to Club Fifty-One, by the way, for those keeping score.”

Armstrong’s eyes narrowed. “That makes absolutely no sense. Why didn’t you question it?”

“Because she’s Kitty,” Christopher replied.

“Ah.” Armstrong seemed to be considering. “Triple the length . . . you weren’t done when the attack started?”

“I wasn’t even close to done when the attack started.” I thought about it. “I’d skipped ahead, though, and read the last page. That’s what triggered Sandra, I think.”

“Why did the android attack with witnesses present?” Armstrong was asking some good questions.

“Well, maybe she had to. I was supposed to be in a separate room, but the instructor found me and insisted I join the others.”

Len jerked. “The weird test you got—that was Plan B. They wanted you separated from the rest of us to kill or capture you. But in case you were in the room with everyone else, they had Plan B in place.”

“But why give her some bizarre test?” Armstrong asked. “Why not just give her the real one?”

“Because she’d have finished it along around the same time as the rest of us,” Kyle suggested.

“That seems like a kind of . . . weak idea, really,” Christopher said. “And hard to base your entire plan on what Kitty would do with a weird test.”

I thought about it. “Maybe Plan B was only to delay things?”

“How do you mean?” White asked.

“An attack squad was sent to take out Chuckie, remember? Maybe they just wanted to be sure he’d be dead before I finished.”

“Why?” Armstrong asked. “What would that do?”

“Piss me off more than you can possibly imagine.” And the bad guys wouldn’t want that. Any of them who’d gone up against me pissed off these days were no longer around to talk about it.

“That can’t have been the goal.” Armstrong shook his head. “To me, that test seems key.”

“Maybe they really wanted her answers,” Adriana suggested.

“Why?”

She looked thoughtful. “You said it was a psychological test.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t a normal one. Seriously, no one taking this test could answer in any way that would avoid sounding like a serious security risk and likely serial killer.” Come to think of it, maybe they’d given me the entrance exam for Club 51.

“There’s no way results from a test that biased would be allowed,” Christopher said.

“True enough,” Armstrong agreed.

“The last page was the weirdest the wei, and that’s saying a lot.”

“That was the one asking you about Esteban and Reynolds, right?” Armstrong asked.

“Right. I didn’t actually do most of the test and I didn’t answer anything on the last page, so I don’t see what anyone would get from it, other than a delaying tactic.”

“No one goes to that much trouble to create something so specific without a related specific goal in mind,” Armstrong said firmly. “It would have been easy enough to delay you. An official phone call, a requested high-level meeting, any number of other options. Why have a bizarre test that no one in their right mind would believe was the real thing?”

“Um, I believed. Sort of.”

He gave me a rather derisive look. “For how long?”

“A few pages.”

“And then?”

I sighed. “Yeah, and then I started reading ahead. Especially when everyone else was done so quickly.”

Armstrong cocked his head. “What do you mean the others were done quickly?”

I looked at White. “Well, Richard was done fast. I figured you used hyperspeed.”

“I did. And I rechecked my work three times. The test was very brief.”

Armstrong sat up straight. “How many pages?”

“Twenty.”

White considered twenty pages brief? Maybe so. Mine had had at least a hundred pages, after all.

Len and Kyle looked at each other. “Mine was thirty pages,” Len said.

“Mine, too,” Kyle added.

I dug out my phone and dialed. “Ames, have a second?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell you anything about what I’m doing.”

“No worries. How many pages was your HSAC test?”

“Excuse me?”

“Work with me here. How many, do you remember?”

“Yeah, around twenty-five pages or something. Why?”

“Usual crap. Talk to you in a few.” I hung up and dialed again. “Malcolm, how many pages was your HSAC test?”

“Hi, Missus Chief. Great to hear from you. It’s been so long and all.”

“Dude, seriously, as if our skirmish from only a few minutes ago wasn’t enough, we’ve got the standard DEFCON Bad stuff going on. Pleasantries later, after I choose to forget your crack about my weight. Just answer the question.”

“I was only teasing, you’re still a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Thirty-six pages, which is standard. Why?”

“Tell you later. I think. You okay?”

“I’m supposed to ask you that, but it’s always nice to know that yo know thu care.”

“I do. Don’t be too far away, I think we’re going to need you soon.”

“My entire job now consists of not being far away from you. Trust me, I’ll be nearby.”

We hung up. “Okay, Amy’s test was twenty-five pages. Malcolm’s test was thirty-six, which he said was standard.”

Armstrong nodded. “It is. Every test should have been thirty-six pages.”

I looked at White. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

He nodded. “I believe I am, Missus Martini.”

“What’s that?” Christopher asked.

“My test was indeed Plan B. If Sandra the Android could have taken me out where the others didn’t know about it, that would have been better. They’d have gotten what they wanted anyway. But with me in the room, that meant that the others would know about her attack. And, since she wasn’t trying to kill most of them, would survive.”

“So?” Christopher asked. “I mean, glad everyone survived, my wife in particular. But I don’t see where you’re going with this, Kitty.”

“No, you probably don’t. At least, you haven’t had to for a while. Think back to fugly fighting. When you were dealing with an in-control superbeing, what would you do to stop it? I mean before the tanks and artillery showed up?”

“We’d try to distract it away from any civilians and also try to limit the damage it would do. We did that with the newly formed ones, too, when needed. You know that. Why are you asking?”

I looked at Olga. She nodded. Nice to know I was right, at least about one thing. Looked at Armstrong. He nodded as well. “Your test was meaningless, in that sense.”

“Yeah, I think whoever created it—and my money’s on your ‘associate’ Cantu, by the way—was having fun.” I looked at Christopher’s expression and decided to be kind. “My test was the distraction. What they wanted, and have, were the answers the rest of the team gave.”

CHAPTER 38

C
HRISTOPHER’S EYES NARROWED.
“You sure?”

“Malcolm’s test was thirty-six pages, which Senator Armstrong verifies as the right length. Malcolm was also the only person taking the test who had ever taken it before. Therefore, he got a real test.”

White nodded. “The rest of us were given different tests, I presume, anyway, based on length.”

“Why were Len and Kyle’s tests the same length?” Christopher asked.

“Because they’re friends, went to college together, were on the same football team, are now doing the same job, basically, and they’ll talk to each other. Boys, am I right that, if this had怅n’t gone completely haywire, you’d have compared notes?”

Kyle looked sheepish. Len shrugged. “We already did.”

“But my father’s test and Amy’s test were different.”

“Amy would compare with me. Your father wouldn’t compare with anyone.”

White nodded. “Very true.”

“But how is it that the others passed?” Armstrong asked. “Those tests wouldn’t have gone through the system properly.”

“They didn’t.” Everyone stared at me, other than Olga, who gave me the Proud Teacher look. I was doing
great
with the finger painting. “The bad guys took the tests John nicely brought out of the room with him.”

“Our teacher was clean,” White reminded me.

“I’m sure he was. He got me out of the room where I was alone with Sandra, so he forced Plan B. I’m sure if he hadn’t carried the tests out, none of us would have ‘passed.’ But he did, so whoever’s in charge sent up dummy tests and had them rushed through, so no one would question.”

Armstrong nodded slowly. “That makes sense. It would be easy enough to have prepared tests in advance.”

“Paul requested they be rushed,” Christopher reminded me. “And Reynolds probably asked for them to be processed quickly, too. He’s been getting a lot of heat for the delay.”

“Perfect set up, really. So, I get the crazy test. Everyone’s focused on that, not on the fact that what our enemies got was answers to whatever they hell they asked the rest of our team.”

Len and Kyle exchanged another look. “Our test was focused on questions about how we’d react in emergency situations,” Len said. “What were Embassy procedures, how they differed from Centaurion Division procedures.”

“What our chain of command was in case different personnel were incapacitated,” Kyle added. “And what protective procedures we’d had in place in Florida. And which ones we didn’t use, and why.”

“My test focused a great deal on the Office of the Pontifex,” White said. “But it did also ask a variety of chain of command questions.”

Christopher dialed. “James, I need Amy brought to the Romanian Embassy immediately, under guard. Yes, it’s about why Kitty called, only more so. No. No. Yes, a floater’s fine, but I want her under guard at least until she’s through the gate. I can and will come and get her myself if you don’t want to help out. Fine, yes, thanks.” He hung up and shot Patented Glare #4 at his phone.

“That sounded fun.”

“We need a female from American Centaurion in attendance at the One World thing. It was supposed to be you, but without us able to tell you anything, Amy moved into the slot. But I think we need her here more.”

“Have Doreen do it.”

Christopher shook his head. “Jeff already forbade her to attend. Same with Claudia and Lorraine, only James did the forbidding on that.”

“New mothers stay home and safe, right?”

“Right. And Serene’s on Alpha Team and confined to Dulce right now on Tito’s orders, so she’s not an option, either.”

I considered our options. Made another call. “Hey, Mimi, are you and Abby free?”

“Yeah, we are. Just hanging out with Denise since she and her kids have nothing to do today because Kevin’s working.”

“And he forbade them to attend the One World thing at the Mall, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Naomi laughed. “I knew you’d figure out what was going on.”

“Oh, there’s lots going on. I haven’t even figured most of it out yet, but trust me when I say we won’t like it when I do.”

“I’m sure.”

“Look, we need Amy at the Romanian Embassy. We also apparently need female Embassy personnel at the One World event. I’m officially announcing you and Abby as our Cultural Attachés. Go get ’em, tigers.”

She laughed again. “I’m all for it. Sis and I are bored with our current jobs, which consist of letting Chuck run tests on us and smiling pretty. Besides, after last night, clearly our King expects us to live at the Embassy. What? Hang on.” I heard her bring Abigail up to speed. “Back. Abby’s on board, too. We’ll go over to the One World thing now.”

“Ah, expect your new . . . gifts . . . to want to come with you.”

“Really? How will we explain them?”

“I don’t think you’ll have to.” I looked around, and trotted out of the room again as the urge to name once again overcame me. “Your birds are named Posh and Becks.”

There was a pause. “Oh, my God, I love those names for them! They’re really perfect, too.”

“Your birds are with you?”

“Yeah, they’re hanging out with the Lewis’ birds.”

“Ken and Barbie?”

“How did you know that’s what Rachel named them?”

“I didn’t. Richard thinks this is my talent. Let’s discuss my new level of bizarre later though, okay?”

“You got it. We’ll take care of things. And I’ll keep you posted on what’s going on, probably via text.”

“Isn’t that a security breach?”

“Guess we’ll find out. I’m kind of against not telling one of our leaders pertinent information, especially when the lack of that information could cause some or all of us to be killed.”

“I like where your head’s at.” As we hung up, the air near me shimmered and I saw a floater gate appear. Amy stepped through a second later. She was alone. “Hey, Ames.”

She blinked. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, the usual crap. Only more of it.”

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“Oh.” She shrugged. “So, routine.”

“Yep.” We joined the others. “Okay, so Amy’s here. Naomi and Abigail, as our new Cultural Attachés, will cover whatever she was doing. Christopher, I’m assuming I know what you wanted her here for, but since you asked, you tell.”

“You didn’t run that appointment by anyone,” Christopher pointed out.

“I see I need to remind you that I’m the Co-Head Ambassador. As such, I can assign anyone to do anything in our Embassy. If Jeff has a problem, he can whine to me about it. You, however, even though you’re Monsieur Chargé d’Affaires, cannot.”

He rolled his eyes, then gave Amy a quick peck. “Okay, I want Amy, Len, Kyle, and my father all writing down as many of the questions from yesterday’s HSAC test as they can remember. Write down the answers you gave, too.”

While Adriana went to get pads of paper and pens, we caught Amy up on what was going on. She looked slightly ill when it was done. “Kitty, I remember most of the questions.”

“What were they about?”

Amy looked at Olga. No—she looked at Jamie. “About security in the Embassy and other Bases. And how well protected the hybrid children are.”