All A Heart Needs B&N (21 page)

"You don't have to decide right this second, Jessica. Think about it." He paused and waved his hand around the room. "Wouldn't this be a great place to dance?"

She thought so. In her mind, she could hear the music, see a room full of dancers, kids, professionals, couples, older people looking to recapture the moves of their youth.

"You're practically swaying," Sean teased. "You can see it, can't you?"

"I can," she admitted. "But there's no way I could afford to rent this space. And even if I could come up with the money to invest, I have no business experience whatsoever."

"But you know the world of dance."

"I left that world, Sean. I'm a mom now. I have other priorities."

"You always make it sound like being a mom makes it impossible for you to be anything else. The only person putting limits on your life is you."

She wondered if that were true. She glanced around the room again. "It is a beautiful space."

"Show me what you've got, Jess."

"Excuse me?"

"One or two moves, a spin. That's all I'm asking."

"I don't think so," she said, fighting the urge to give in to the persuasive look in his eyes. "There's no music."

"I'm betting you don't need any. You hear it in your head." Sean folded his arms in front of his chest. "I played for you. It's your turn to dance for me."

"I don't have the right shoes or clothes," she said, making one last protest.

His steady stare told her he wasn't going anywhere until he got what he wanted.

She turned her back on him and walked to the center of the room, to a triangle of sunlight. She could feel the warm beams of light on her head. And like any good dancer or performer, she knew how to use that light to her advantage.

Not looking at him, she closed her eyes and let the music inside her head play. It was what she'd always done. From the first time she'd gone to dance class and had been asked to perform in front of others. She always took a moment to center herself, to let her mind float away from reality to the dance ahead.

And then she was moving—a step, a turn, and then another turn. Her hands and arms were graceful and light. She was a bird in the sunlight, freed from its cage, ready to take flight, and that's exactly what she did.

She left everything behind—all the stress, the anger, the grief, the guilt, and the worry. The emotions that gripped her and grounded her far too often evaporated with each step. She felt free and happy.

So she spun, and she spun, and she spun, until she was dizzy and laughing.

Until Sean caught her in his arms.

Then she came back to earth.

She came back to him.

Kissing Sean seemed the absolute perfect finish to her spontaneous dance.

He seemed to feel the same way, his warm mouth answering her eager lips, his tongue sliding inside, deepening the connection between them. She wrapped her arms around his waist as the music playing through her head wrapped around both of them in a dance of desire, attraction, love.

The music in her head came to a screeching halt. She forced herself to break the kiss, to halt their movement, to stop the madness.

But while she'd come to her senses, Sean still gazed at her with amazement and wonder.

"That was better than anything I've ever seen," he said. "You were almost flying. It was incredible. Do you know how talented you are, Jess? How special?"

His gaze clung to hers. She felt incredibly touched by his words.

"You have to dance," he continued, passion in his voice. "Or teach. Or both. You have a gift. You can't not use that gift."

"I have used it. I've danced for many, many years. But it wasn't enough. I wanted more."

He shook his head in confusion. "I don't know how Travis could have watched you dance and then let you quit."

"I couldn't dance in Angel's Bay. And that was his home, where he needed to be. Don't judge him. He didn't make me quit. I chose to quit."

"Then you can choose to come back."

"I'm too old."

"You're twenty-seven."

"That's old in dancing years."

"There's still a place for you in that world, Jess. Maybe you can choreograph or inspire your students. But you can do something. And I think you want to do something. I think you need dance in your life."

"Like you need music?"

"Yes," he said with an emphatic nod. "We're both artists."

"But I chose to walk away. I chose family." She paused. "You would never do that, would you?"

His gaze darkened and a frown crossed his lips. "I'll say it again, why does it have to be a choice?"

"Because it does. Because we both know what it takes to be at the top of our professions."

She wanted him to argue with her. She wanted him to say he'd give it all up for the right person, just as she'd done. But Sean didn't say anything, and maybe that was the real answer.

"We should go," she said finally. "I need to get home. I need to get back to doing what I was hired to do." And most of all, she needed to remember that that was her real job and this studio was just a fantasy. A really nice fantasy, she thought with a sigh, as she gave the space one last look and then turned toward the door.

* * *

As Sean drove Jessica home, he felt pissed off, irritated with her and also with himself. Jessica didn't seem too happy either, and he knew why. He hadn't come up with the answer she wanted to hear, because he'd been thinking about her question, because, for the first time in his life, the easy answer didn't seem so easy anymore. But his silence had only reinforced her opinion of musicians making lousy boyfriends or husbands.

And the problem was, he couldn't even argue with her opinion. He knew what it took to be successful in the music business, and it didn't exactly jibe with being a family man.

Up until now, that had always been fine with him. Music was enough.

At least that's what he'd told himself.

But he'd been feeling restless, even before he'd met Jessica. He'd been on the road awhile. He'd seen how difficult it was to make money even with sold-out shows. He'd realized that a great song didn't always translate into cash in the bank. Which was why he'd put away every penny he could, knowing that one day he was going to have to get, as his father would call it, a real job.

He'd wanted it to be a job he could be happy in. And he thought the studio fit the bill. Whether they could make that studio successful was still a question mark, but he was going to try damn hard to succeed. Because he was a Callaway, and while most of his father's teachings had bounced right off of him, the one that didn't was that the only sure way to failure was to quit, and Callaways don't quit.

But Jessica had quit. She'd given up dance for love. And he had judged her a little for it.

Frowning, he knew that had been wrong. But when she'd danced in that circle of light, she'd looked like an angel, a fairy, some otherworldly spirit, who had literally stolen the breath right out of his chest. And he'd known with a certainty that Jessica was meant to dance. He'd never seen her so alive as he had in that empty space where she'd found some music in her soul and given it movement.

He pulled up in front of her house and didn't bother to turn off the engine, knowing that he could not go inside. He was feeling way too many emotions to be alone with Jessica right now. He needed to put some real space between them.

Jessica put her hand on the door and then paused. "I don't want to fight with you, Sean."

"Are we fighting?"

"Aren't we?"

He sighed. "We were just having a heated conversation. Sometimes we Callaways get a little carried away with our opinions."

"That's the first time I've heard you refer to yourself as one of the Callaways," she pointed out.

"I have more of my father in me than I thought. He loves to tell people what they should do. I've been on the receiving end of his unasked-for advice, and I shouldn't have tried to tell you what to do. Sorry."

"Well, you did make me think. That's not the worst thing in the world."

"Good. We're not going to do anything with that space for a while, so keep it as an option."

"I will." She paused. "When do you want to look at Robert's computer again?"

"I'm not sure," he said. He did want to go through the rest of the emails, but now didn't seem like a good time. "I'll call you later."

"It will have to be much later. I need to go into Mom mode right now. I have to clean the kitchen and do some laundry before I pick up the boys. Then it's on to the park and the library. Pretty exciting stuff, huh?"

"It sounds like a busy afternoon."

"Are you going back to the studio?"

"No. I'm meeting my band for a practice session. We use the back room of a furniture warehouse owned by my drummer's uncle. Pretty exciting stuff, huh?" he said, echoing her words.

Her smile eased the tension that had grown between them. "I guess your life isn't always glamorous."

"No one's life is. It just looks that way from the outside."

As he finished speaking, he saw Sally come out of Brett's house. She paused when she saw them sitting in the van. Then she gave a quick wave and hurried back to her home.

"I thought Brett and Sally didn't like each other," he muttered.

"They sure act like they don't when they speak to me. I wonder what they were talking about."

"Maybe she told him we found Robert's old computer."

"Why would he care?" she asked.

"Didn't one of Sally's emails to Robert say
'Brett knows and it's going to cost more'
?"

Jessica stared back at him. "I forgot about that. Maybe Brett was involved in Sally's blackmail scheme. Hopefully, it will become clear when we go through more of the emails."

"Why don't we touch base later tonight? We'll figure out our next move."

"Do we have a next move?" she asked, doubt in her voice.

"Definitely," he said. "We're going to solve the puzzle, Jess. We're getting closer every day."

They weren't getting closer to an answer; they were just creating new questions, Jessica thought, watching Sean drive away. Still, Sean had a confidence that she very much admired, and she hoped he would get the answers he needed. She wanted him to be able to move on from the trauma of his childhood. But they'd talked to just about everyone involved and while they'd gotten bits and pieces, none of those pieces were forming a clear picture. Maybe they never would. Maybe no one's life could be re-examined and put together like a puzzle.

She thought about her own life and what a crazy mosaic that would make. She certainly wasn't the same person today than she'd been two years ago or ten years ago. Actually, she wasn't even the person she'd been yesterday, because this afternoon Sean had made her remember what it felt like to fly.

She put a finger to her mouth, remembering that kiss in the studio. It had been a perfect, heady ending to her dizzying and happy impromptu dance. For a few minutes she'd felt like herself, her real self, the girl who used to dance, who loved to move, who could hear a song in a silent room and a quiet space.

Drawing a deep breath, she looked up at the sunny sky, thinking about how that same sun had filtered through the windows of that beautiful space. She could fill that space with dancers, music, and costumes. She could teach children to dance, to find expression through their body as well as their mind. It seemed like a wonderful plan.

But where did that leave Kyle? She didn't want to shortchange him. And even though she would try not to do that, would she be able to do it all? Or was that just another foolish dream?

Shaking her head, she realized she was still standing on the sidewalk, already losing her focus thinking about dance. She needed to concentrate on her real life, on laundry and cleanup and plans for dinner.

She was about to go inside when Brett came out of his house and crossed the street. She wasn't really in the mood to talk to him, but there was no way to avoid conversation without appearing rude.

"I'm glad I ran into you," Brett said. "Helen told me that you were going to try to find Lana, and I'm curious to know if you were successful."

"Perhaps you should speak to Helen about that," she said, not sure how much to tell him, especially since she'd just seen him and Sally together.

His gaze narrowed and anger sparked in his eyes. "Is it a secret? I knew Lana quite well when she lived here. I've wondered about her often over the years." He paused. "Helen and Lana didn't get along very well. I was actually surprised when Helen told me that she'd given you Connie's address. Why
did
she give it you?"

"Why didn't you ask her that question?"

"I was going to, but we were interrupted."

Judging by the determined look in Brett's eyes, she was going to have to tell him something. "I found some things in the attic that Helen thought Lana might want. She suggested I contact Lana's sister, Connie. Connie was able to put me in touch with Lana."

"So you did see Lana?"

"I did."

"How is she?"

"She seemed well. She looked good. She said she's remarried."

He nodded, his lips tightening. "I figured. She must have been shocked to see Sean. He and Stacy were so close. She couldn't have liked that reminder."

"I think it was a little unsettling at first."

"Did she give you any information?"

"About what?" Jessica countered.

"About the things in the house. Is she planning to come back and take a look through the attic?"

"I don't know about that. We're going to talk again as I dig deeper."

"Did she ask about me, about any of the neighbors?"

Jessica hesitated and then told the truth. "She told me I shouldn't trust anyone on this block. Apparently, she doesn't have happy memories of her life here."

His eyes darkened into hard points as he said, "Lana wasn't unhappy until the very end, until she lost her daughter. Then everything changed." He shook his head, anger rolling off of him in waves. "That damn fire ruined a lot of lives."