All About Me (16 page)

“
Wow, no, I didn
’
t know,
”
I reply, scratching my head and feeling a bit awkward that this place has such a valuable memory to her.

“
Yes, it was here. I was waiting for the train home and he approached me, pretending that he wanted to know the time,
”
she says with a loud sigh. It must have been hard for her. She had to bring up India and Josephine after her husband died so suddenly. India always told me how much she missed her father.
“
Anyway, enough of this. Let
’
s get going. I
’
m sure that you have a schedule, Oliver?
”

“
I have indeed,
”
I mutter.

“
Okay, Josephine, let
’
s go! You will have time for make-up later,
”
says Mrs. Gretel to her younger daughter, who is applying some lip gloss. I
’
m panicking when they get to the car. India has always been close with her mother and this could go either of two ways.

India will freak when she sees them with me
—
then she will either tell me to go to hell, or she will pretend that everything is fine just for the sake of it. I bet that her own mother doesn
’
t even know what that bastard had done to her. India has suffered alone for so many years and this would be the last thing she would want to tell her mother.
 

“
India stays on campus in the apartment blocks with Dora,
”
I explain, knowing that Dora is also away this weekend. It
’
s a good thing that I still have decent contacts around campus. From what I heard, Dora
’
s father rarely has any days off work and he called out of the blue this weekend, so she had to leave.
 

“
We have kept the secret as you said. I hope she won
’
t be disappointed that we came to watch.
”

“
Trust me, I
’
m sure she missed you guys,
”
I assure them, thinking about my own mother. Maybe at least I should give her the benefit of the doubt and try to talk to her again.

I don
’
t think that Mrs. Gretel recognises Christian
’
s car. Besides, I don
’
t think that I can stand talking about my dead brother with her. Josephine admires the view through town. My pulse starts racing even thinking about India. Our day is all planned out and I
’
m beginning to believe she is going to have a private word with me after all. Once I park the car in front of India
’
s apartment block, I feel like I am high on drugs. The stress is getting to me slowly, and my heart starts pounding in my chest.

“
So much has changed since I
’
ve been here before,
”
Mrs. Gretel sighs, looking around. I fucking have to stay calm; otherwise I
’
m going to blow this off.
 

The climb upstairs seems long, and I do everything I can to keep a cool expression on my face.

“
I bet Dora chose something really fancy.
”

Josephine is kind of right. These are the best apartments that Braxton has to offer. I run my hand nervously through my hair until we reach India
’
s door.

“
Right, you guys stay behind me,
”
I tell them, worried that this whole shebang is going to be a total disaster.

This is a bad idea, mate. India hates your guts
. M
y mind is reeling as I knock at her door.
Don
’
t be a wimp! Just get on with it, you fucker.

It takes her a while to open the door, but when she does, my heart feels like it
’
s going to jump out of my chest while my dick keeps twitching. At first I think she is going to scream, but then I move quickly aside, saying,
“
Surprise!
”

Her mum and sister throw themselves at her. India looks overwhelmed with my presence but emotionally moved, hugging them tightly. I can
’
t stop smiling.

“
What are you guys doing here?
”
she asks, ignoring me. It
’
s all right. I
’
m used to it by now.
 

“
We promised Oliver that we wouldn
’
t say anything. It
’
s his idea. He wanted to surprise you. We came to watch your competition!
”
Josephine screams, looking excited and jumping around her big sister.

India finally looks at me, narrowing her eyes. I hold her look, wondering if she has any warmth left for me. Nope, there is still pure hatred. Even now she can
’
t forget.

“
He obviously thinks about you all the time,
”
says her mum, smiling. There is nothing else for me to do other than to smile back.

“
Of course, why wouldn
’
t he? Why don
’
t you guys chill out and I will get you something to drink. Oliver, why don
’
t you come with me? I have something in my room that I need to show you,
”
she says in an uneven voice.

“
Yeah, right.
”

Okay, so she is going for option number two, pretending that we are all right. Her mum and Josephine are admiring the view from the window. Her room smells like her and I can admire her ass for a little bit. It
’
s firm and perfect. My mouth starts to water when I remember having her on top of me.

She locks the door to the bedroom, breathing harder than she should. She stands by the window staring down at me like I
’
m some annoying insect that barged into her space and now she can
’
t get rid of.

“
What are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me,
”
she snaps, folding her arms together and tossing her beautiful hair behind her. I switch my weight to the right, scratching my head. No acknowledgement at all about my surprise, the same cold tone of voice.

“
I thought that it would be nice for you to have your mum and sister,
”
I say, wanting to press my lips to hers, but I need to keep my dick in my pants because I
’
m not here to mess around.

“
Skip the bullshit, Oliver. I watched your little video, listened to your pathetic apologies, and I don
’
t buy it. I don
’
t mean anything to you. It
’
s just a game for you, another bet.
”

“
India. I know that I hurt you, but I
’
m not playing any games here. It
’
s all me. I was fucked up before. What Christian did was fucking wrong and I regret so much that I haven
’
t protected you from him, but you didn
’
t make it any easier for me in high school. My life was ruined because of you.
”

Her face hardens in an instant and I know that I made an error.
Fuck, why did I have to bring that fucker up?
My heart breaks in two, making me wonder if I
’
m ever going to hold her again in my arms like before. We were so happy together, but now that pain in her eyes is there again.

“
I know what you are doing here, but if you want me to play your friend then fine, I can do that.
”

“
India, come on
—”

She doesn
’
t let me tell her how I feel but walks back to the living room, ending the conversation right there. I stand in her room for a little longer, asking myself if she is ever going to forgive me. I have to keep my hands away and make sure I
’
m not intruding in her space. Small steps are crucial. Her whole posture is in defence mode, and her rowing race is only in two hours. She has to stay focussed, which means that I have to stop messing around with her emotions.
 

Chapter Fifteen

Feelings.

Present

 
“
I
’
ll get you a drink, Josephine,
”
I say, walking back to the living room with a poker face. Her mother looks at us suspiciously. India quickly drops her annoyed expression.

Everything is as I remembered. India stiffens next to me when I situate myself near her. Her body screams to stay far away. Her mother asks about everything
—
Dora, her courses and the life on campus. The conversation goes smoothly. I chip in, cracking a few jokes. India relaxes a little, but an hour later I keep glancing at the clock.

“
I better get ready. I think I should be by the river in half an hour,
”
she says to her mother, not looking at me.

“
Don
’
t worry, babe. I
’
ll entertain the ladies here.
”

She gives me a faint smile, not responding. We talk a little about my latest rugby match and the latest gossip in Braxton. When Josephine disappears in to the bathroom, India
’
s mum looks at me more intensely, like she knows that things between us are strained. I smell trouble coming.
 

“
What
’
s up between you two? India doesn
’
t look too happy with the fact that you are here.
”

Okay, so that one is complicated. It
’
s obvious that India
’
s mum can sense the tension. She
’
s a clever woman, and I
’
m the one who has come up with this idea, so I have to make sure she doesn
’
t find out the truth.

“
We
’
re going through some stuff and she isn
’
t my biggest fan at the moment. It
’
s better to leave it like that.
”

Her mother doesn
’
t dwell on further conversation, getting the hint. She wants to ask more questions, but then Josephine comes back to the room, so she has to leave it open.

Half an hour later all of us leave the apartment and head to the river. Last time the race was horrendous. I was ready to jump in without even thinking about it, but Evans got to her first. I had no idea what happened to India then. Everything was going smoothly until the last fifty yards. She could have won it, but then she made a mistake. Today she is going to go through one individual race and one against another three Universities with the girls from her team.

“
Just do your best, hun. You have trained so hard for this,
”
says her mum, smoothing her caramel hair. People are staring at me and India There are some whispers when she meets with the rest of the team. I walk behind her admiring her perfectly-shaped arse. I try not to look, but her body just tempts me too much.

India looks bloody nervous and I know exactly how she feels. Sometimes when I play rugby and some important people are at the stadium, I feel like the expectation can get on top of me.

“
I think we should wait over on the other side. The view is much better,
”
I suggest, giving India an encouraging smile.

“
Okay, yes, you are right, Olie. Come on, Josephine.
”

When her mother turns around, I grab India
’
s hand. That short, lasting connection pumps me right down.

“
Good luck. You
’
re going to win this,
”
I tell her.

She shoots me down with her cold stare, pulling her hand away quickly enough. My cock goes hard instantly as she trembles under my heavy eyes.
“
Thank you, Oliver. I
’
m curious to know how long you
’
re going to carry on with this game.
”

“
It
’
s not a game, India. I
’
m fed up being someone else and being compared to my brother. You deserve better,
”
I mutter.

“
That
’
s why I chose Evans.
”

Her snappy comments are hurtful, but I can
’
t help noticing that she doesn
’
t let me get under her skin, being cool and calculating. Yeah, she has Evans. He
’
s earned her trust, so I have to be happy with second place.
 

Soon after, I quickly join Mrs. Gretel and Josephine above the river in the last straight line of the race. There is a large crowd and it
’
s difficult to see what is going on. We wait another fifteen minutes before the first race starts. University of Glasgow wins, Braxton girls come second, which is not that bad, since they haven
’
t been together for that long. It seems that all the girls trained hard to get to this level. Other universities are also here; the teams are waiting anxiously for individual races to begin.

Her mum cheers as much as she can, slowly losing her voice. Everyone is looking at me strangely when I shout like I
’
m going completely mental. There is an hour break before the next race, but I don
’
t go to see how she is doing. We all wait patiently until her turn comes. She is one of the last competitors. She lost with MacKenzie a few months ago, so now she has to win it if she is going to get to the next race at the beginning of the next year. In any other circumstances, I would have gone down and cheered loudly, but I don
’
t want to push my luck or distract her.

Her start is excellent, and whoever is racing with her won
’
t have any chance of catching up with her. She is ahead right away, and my heart beats faster for her. She slows down right in the end, but wins.

“
Oh my God, she did it, Oliver. She
’
s won!
”
her mother screams, jumping up and down. A huge grin spreads over Josephine
’
s face.
“
She was like a terminator.
”

“
Better than a terminator,
”
I add, feeling fucking proud as hell. I already knew that she was going to win this, so I planned a celebration dinner at the local restaurant. Maybe she softened up a little because I brought her family over. In the end, I can at least talk to her, show her that I made a fucking mistake and I want to fix it.
 

The three of us manage to get to her a few minutes later. A few girls are congratulating her. Her mother jumps in to hug her. I don
’
t know what is going on with my emotions, but I
’
m high, so instead of staying at the back I pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly. She smells like heaven and my pulse increases as soon I have her in my arms. For a split second I think she is all right with me being so close, but then she stiffens and pulls away, glaring at me with anger.

“
You don
’
t deserve this,
”
she snaps quietly enough, so her mother can
’
t hear us. I back up, crushed, back to that dark hole where I
’
ve been. Right now India is my fucking everything, and that raw rejection hurts like a motherfucker, a deep cut in my stomach.
 

“
Come on, ladies, I have another surprise,
”
I say, cheerfully dismissing her rejection.

“
Surprise? You know well enough that I hate surprises,
”
she replies, massaging the nape of her neck. Her face is ruby red, her makeup messed up, but who the fuck cares? I have her for this one whole day, so I have to make the most of it.

“
Oh, India, don
’
t be so miserable. Let
’
s hear it,
”
Josephine argues, looking at me eagerly. Her mum looks from me to her until India
’
s face changes and that hatred disappears. If she wants to play this game, she needs to be careful.

“
We are going out for a drive around Braxton. I
’
m going to be your own personal guide. Food is provided in the best five-star restaurant,
”
I explain cheerfully.

Josephine giggles, clapping while her mother smiles.
“
Oliver, that
’
s wonderful. India, what do you think, hun?
”

She forces a smile, not responding for several seconds but only looking at me, probably wondering if this is another trick.
“
Yeah, it
’
s a great idea, but I need to change first.
”

“
All right, let
’
s head back to the apartment. I
’
ll meet you guys outside in half an hour.
”

“
Oh my God, you
’
re so lucky. He is an amazing boyfriend,
”
Josephine says as they walk away.

I smile to myself, thinking that after today maybe she
’
ll let me back in her perfectly set life. I head home and grab Jacob
’
s car keys. Christian
’
s car will bring back a lot of crap and I won
’
t risk that. Tonight it
’
s about her and only her. I
’
m on the second step and I have no idea if I
’
ll be able to move forward. When I get back to the house I put a black T-shirt on and jeans. I style my hair a little and update my status on Facebook. It
’
s a clear message and once India reads it later she will know that I
’
m not messing around this time.