All About the Hype (22 page)

‘The extra publicity has helped,’ Brandon states, raising a glass of champagne to me as I blush. Johnny popped the cork on a bottle when we got in the car.

‘So your
teen girl squad
is coming tonight?’ Miles asks, giving me a look that I’m not sure is more teasing or patronising.

‘They’re not all girls,’ I state. ‘Rafe is coming, and Justin Kelly, too. Oh, and Lottie is bringing Peter from her show.’

I glance at Brandon when I mention Lottie. He looks pleased. His girlfriend had a family thing on this weekend so she stayed in LA.

‘Is Tom coming?’ Stu asks me innocently.

I feel Jack’s eyes on me as I reply. ‘Yeah, he is.’ I turn to Agnes. ‘Could you do me a favour and look after him? He doesn’t know anyone here.’

‘Apart from me,’ Stu chips in indignantly. ‘Invisible, am I?’

‘No offence, Stu, but I can’t really see you up the front in the mosh pit.’

Beside Stu, Johnny stifles a smile.

‘What about you?’ Brandon asks, looking at my dad. ‘Can we expect to see you in the mosh pit?’

‘No, I’ll be backstage,’ he replies.

‘Really?’ Brandon frowns, and even Miles looks a little put out.

Johnny doesn’t respond, just looks at me and raises his eyebrows.

The last time we did a gig here, Johnny said that he’d stay backstage so as not to draw attention to himself. He said the gig was about us and our music and he didn’t want to detract
from that. But this time I’m not really sure that’s necessary.

‘Why don’t you go out the front?’ I ask when we’re backstage in the green room. We’ve just done a soundcheck, and the venue doors are opening in less than half an
hour. The green room is packed with four other bands and their friends and it’s like a party in here with everyone drinking and chatting away.

‘For the same reasons I didn’t last time,’ Johnny replies, indulging me with an answer where he didn’t for Brandon.

‘But everyone knows you’re my dad now. I’ve done interviews about it and it’s all over the internet. It can only help.’

‘You don’t need me to help you, chick.’ He eyes me levelly with those piercing green eyes of his.

‘We need all the help we can get,’ I state, begging to differ.

‘Trust me. It’s better that you do this on your own.’

I can’t help but feel annoyed at him. All publicity is good publicity, right? And my dad at the front of our gig would be absolutely incredible publicity. Why is he being difficult about
this? Doesn’t he want us to succeed?

He squeezes my shoulder as Agnes joins us, and then leaves to talk to Sam.

‘You look super hot,’ Agnes says. ‘Even if I do say so myself.’

‘I really love this skirt,’ I reply with a smile. It’s the black with gold thread number and the bodice is fitted tight over my chest.

‘Let’s hope it’s good enough for Sienna,’ she says acerbically.

I purse my lips at her. ‘Don’t be like that. I told her I couldn’t go shopping with her.’

‘I’m just kidding.’ She smiles, but I can tell that she’s not.

‘You don’t mind that the girls from school are coming, do you?’ I ask awkwardly.

‘I guess not,’ she replies half-heartedly. ‘They’re right: it will help raise your profile – and theirs, too,’ she mutters as an afterthought. ‘But I
kind of liked it when it was just you and me, you know?’

I smile at her sadly. ‘You’re still my best friend over here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

She smiles back at me and we give each other an impulsive hug.

‘Are you still missing Brett?’ I ask, pulling away to study her face.

‘Yeah, but I’m getting used to it. I’m actually thinking about going to Australia for Spring Break.’

‘That’s a long way to go for a week, not to mention expensive,’ I say.

‘It’d be worth it,’ she replies, brushing at a mark on my cheek.

‘Have you got lipstick on me?’ I ask.

‘Just a touch. At least I’m not wearing red like you.’

I’m wearing a deep crimson shade and my hair is in a loose updo with blonde tendrils falling down around my face.

‘Jessie!’ Stu says breathlessly. It looks like he’s been trying to hunt me out for a while.

‘Hi! What’s up?’

‘Tom texted me. He’s outside. Do you want me to let him in?’

‘Damn, I turned my phone off! Yes, please, thanks!’

He hurries off and I glance at Agnes. ‘You
will
look after him, right?’

‘I’ll guard him with my life,’ she replies, and then we both cast a look to where Jack is standing. He’s chatting to a couple of guys from a punk-rock group that happened
to be here the last time we played. Maybe he senses our attention, because he glances over his shoulder and meets my eyes. A jolt goes through me and then Brandon joins us.

‘Is your dad seriously planning to hang backstage?’ he asks.

‘Yeah,’ I reply, rolling my eyes. ‘He won’t give. Sorry.’

He tuts. ‘So what are we doing after?’ He raises one eyebrow at Agnes. ‘We gonna hit a club?’

My heart sinks. Clubbing means Sam.
Actually, Sam’s supposed to be flying straight home with Johnny
…

‘My hotel bar’s pretty cool,’ I say. Just putting it out there…

At that moment, Stu returns, closely followed by Tom. Tom looks nervous.

He also looks gorgeous.

He’s dressed down for the gig in battered denim jeans and a faded black Arcade Fire band T-shirt.

‘Hey,’ he says, joining me.

I give him a brief hug and step back. ‘You remember Brandon, my bandmate,’ I say.

‘Tom, right?’ Brandon says, shaking his hand. ‘Glad you could come, dude.’

And then I remember:
Brandon and Miles don’t know that we’ve split up
…

Maybe it won’t matter
, I tell myself in a panic.
After all, even if Tom and I aren’t together, it doesn’t mean that Jack and I are
.

I stifle a sigh. At first it was kind of fun, the secrecy. I enjoyed the thrill of sneaking away and kissing each other and trying not to be discovered. But now I’m a bit over it.

I glance back and meet Jack’s eye again. He breaks away from his conversation with the other band members and comes over.

‘Tom,’ he says in a voice laced with meaning, offering his hand.

‘Alright,’ Tom replies, giving Jack’s hand a reluctant shake. They’re not exactly disguising their dislike of each other.

‘Can I borrow you for a minute?’ Jack says to me.

‘Do you need me, too?’ Brandon chips in, overhearing. He must think Jack wants to discuss the band.

‘No, just Jessie,’ Jack states firmly. He takes my hand and tugs me out of the green room.

‘What is it?’ I hiss, irritably. ‘You made that a bit obvious.’

He leads me round the corner and out of sight, pulling me into the darkened stage wings.

‘Jack, no.’ I put my hand on his chest and push him away. He takes a step backwards, looking like I’ve thumped him. ‘You can’t kiss me, you’ll ruin my
lipstick,’ I say.

He breathes in sharply. ‘Is that the only reason?’

‘Yes.’ I smirk at him and he looks relieved.

He takes a step towards me, placing his hands on my hips.

‘Will it ruin your lipstick if I kiss you here?’ he asks suggestively, pressing his lips a centimetre to the right of mine.

‘No,’ I murmur.

‘How about here?’ He kisses the underside of my jaw, near my earlobe. My heartbeat spikes. ‘Yes or no?’ he asks.

‘No,’ I whisper, shivering.

‘And here?’ He trails several kisses down my neck, sliding his hands up along the curves of my waist. His thumbs come to rest on my bodice, just beneath the inbuilt bra cups.

My head is spinning as I grab his face and hold him still. His blue-grey eyes stare back at me with amusement.

‘You can kiss me wherever you want later, OK? Just don’t ruin my lipstick.’

The corners of his lips tilt up as I realise what I’ve just said.

‘Wherever I want, huh?’

My cheeks flame and I let go of his face.

But he grins, raising one eyebrow as his thumbs stroke rhythmically across my ribs, back and forward.

A thrill ripples down my spine and I feel a little less shy and a little more confident as I stare back at him. And then I remember where we are.

I sigh quietly and place my hands on his chest, keeping him at bay.

‘Come on, we should go back to the green room. The others will be wondering what we’re doing.’

‘Let them wonder,’ he says, taking my hands and pulling me closer.

‘Jack, are you trying to give the game away?’ I ask with a frown.

‘Maybe,’ he replies in a low voice, caressing my cheek.

I pull back from him. ‘Do you mean it?’

He shrugs. ‘That’s what you want, isn’t it?’

‘They’ll be angry.’

‘So?’ He raises one eyebrow.

‘What if you and I split up?’ I ask.

‘I think this is heading the other way, don’t you?’ He gives me a significant look.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask. ‘If you’re talking about—’

‘I said we’d take it slow,’ he interrupts me. ‘Didn’t I?’

‘Yes, but…’ My thoughts jump to Tom and Isla. I still feel stung that he slept with her recently, but at least they were in love when they lost their virginity to each
other.

‘Tell me what you’re thinking,’ he states.

I look at him, square in the eye, and force myself to open up to him. ‘Jack, I don’t want to do that with someone who doesn’t love me.’

His eyebrow twitches as he stares down at me.

‘Come on,’ I say downheartedly, stepping away from him. ‘We really should join the others.’

‘Hey, we’re not done here,’ he states, as I begin to walk away.

‘I think we are. For now, anyway,’ I reply, casting a regretful look at him as I approach the green room.

He strides over and places his hand on the door handle, his eyes flashing as he stares down at me.

‘I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know if this is it, but what I feel for you is pretty fucking intense,’ he says in a low voice, yanking open the door. ‘Just so
you know,’ he throws back at me before stalking into the room.

My mind is reeling as we wait backstage for the band before us to finish their fifth and final song. Jack’s last words to me keep replaying over and over inside my head.
He doesn’t know what love is, but he more or less said that this could be it.

I’ve been on edge in the green room. He didn’t come and stand with me when I returned to Agnes and Tom, choosing instead to mingle with the other bands. I tried to catch his eye a
couple of times, but, if he felt me staring, he didn’t show it.

Now I’m standing with Johnny, and Jack’s talking to a roadie. He feels so far away, but he’s only three metres to my right.

The crowd outside cheers and applauds as the last band finishes up, and then they’re coming offstage.

‘Ready?’ Johnny asks me.

I nod and glance at Jack again.

‘Everything OK?’ Johnny asks.

I nod and look back at him. ‘Better than OK,’ I reply with a small smile.

He raises one eyebrow at me quizzically, but I don’t elaborate, instead turning to watch the roadie hooking Jack up to his electric guitar. Jack glances my way and a jolt goes through me
as he meets my eyes at last. I hold his gaze as the seconds tick by.

I want to be with him
.

A moment later, his lips tilt up at the corners. Can he read my mind?

He jerks his head, beckoning me over.

‘Good luck,’ Johnny says.

‘Are you sure you won’t go and watch from the front?’ I ask him one last time, coming out of my Jack-induced trance to give him a pleading look.

He shakes his head and purses his lips, then taps my elbow and nods towards Jack.

I sigh and walk away, but my spirits lift as soon as I’m beside my boyfriend.

‘OK?’ he asks, swinging his guitar behind him so the strap stretches across the front of his chest. He slips his hand round my waist and pulls me flush to his side.

‘Ready, All Hypers?’ Brandon interrupts. I jolt, but Jack’s grip on me tightens. I’m pretty sure Brandon notices, but he’s used to his bandmate being tactile.

Miles joins us, too.

‘Is Tom out front?’ he asks me, glancing at Jack’s hand around my waist.

‘I think so. He’s with Agnes,’ I reply edgily.

‘He doesn’t like
you
much, does he?’ Brandon says to Jack with a cheeky grin.

‘The feeling’s mutual,’ Jack replies drily, reaching out to finger a lock of my hair with his free hand.

Brandon stares at the ceiling and shakes his head. ‘Oh, well, you’ll get over it.’ He pats Jack’s chest and glances in the direction of the crowd. ‘Better let her
go now, dude. You don’t want to cause a scene if he sees you like that.’

‘I’m not letting her go,’ Jack states.

Our bandmates freeze, regarding us with trepidation.

‘Tom and I broke up at Christmas,’ I say guiltily. ‘He and I are just friends.’

They look taken aback at my belated revelation, their eyes darting between Jack and me, and then it dawns on them – and they are not happy.

‘You better be fucking kidding me,’ Brandon says furiously.

‘Sorry, I’m not,’ Jack replies, deadly serious. He appears relaxed from the outside, standing there with me in his arms, but I can feel the tension radiating from him.

‘Can we talk about this later?’ I desperately interject. ‘Now is not the time.’

‘There will never be a good time for
this
,’ Brandon snaps, throwing us both a look of disgust.

‘You’re unbelievable!’ Miles shakes his head at Jack before turning his back on us.

I stare at Jack in dismay. Did he have to do this now?

The stage manager indicates that it’s time for us to go on and I feel sick as Miles and Brandon stalk out on stage to the sound of the crowd cheering.

‘It’ll be OK,’ Jack says, clasping my head to his hard, warm chest so he can plant a kiss on top of it. It’s a fast, sweet gesture and it does make me feel marginally
better, but then he lets me go. He flashes me a grin and swings his guitar round to the front, then strides out onstage as Miles starts to hammer his drum kit. I take a deep breath and join
them.

Nothing prepares you for the adrenaline of being in front of a big crowd of people. The venue is even more packed than last time – there must be at least five hundred people here. I
don’t think I’ll ever feel ready to perform – the nerves will never vanish completely – but will it always be such an incredible rush?