All-American Girl (19 page)

“Because I care about you. Believe it or not, I don’t like seeing you like this, no matter how much dirt you’ve kicked in my face while you’ve been here. I think I can help if you’d just let me in, Sam. Please.”

Her eyes went wide. “And you think
dating
will help?”

“Well, not exactly—”

“
Let you into my bed
and make me forget about everything?”

“God, no—”

“You’re right about the old me still being in here.” Her hand jerked from his and flew to her chest. “But the old me was the one trampled on by men.
She
is the reason I’m like this in the first place. I hate her. I hate me. I hate what I’ve become. Why would anyone else—you especially—want anything to do with me?” She jumped to her feet.

He was dumbstruck.

“And trust me, while your offer sounds tempting, I’m afraid I don’t have the strength to go down that road with you again. I’m afraid my heart has been broken enough and I don’t intend to have it broken, by you,
again
.”

“Whoa. Wait just one damned second.” He got to his feet and went to her side. She kept her back to him so he grabbed her arm and flung her around. “First, if you think I just wanted to date you to get you in bed, you’re wrong. It’s more than that, and you know it. This is about getting
over
what you’ve been through so you can move on. And don’t ever think I’m like every other man and will so easily break your heart this time around. In case you forgot, I’m not the one who broke it the very
first
time. Or, from what it sounds like, the several times after that. The least you could do is give me a little credit.”

He reinforced his grip when she tried to twist free. “What is with you? After what I told you last night, what happened between us, I’d thought you’d be different today. If this is the way you treat everyone, I’m surprised you have any friends. Wake up, Sam. See the big picture. See more than just ulterior motives.” He released her, and she stumbled back. “See
me
.”

She didn’t move, didn’t look at him, and didn’t flinch. He strode past her, out the door, down the hallway, and out to his truck, cursing the whole way. He shouldn’t have let his temper get the best of him, but he didn’t understand Samantha’s sudden mood swing. It’d helped cure one thing, though—the ache in his chest was gone, replaced by a ball of steam ready to explode. That made him feel a little better. For a second there he’d thought…
no
. He wouldn’t even admit it; that would be like delivering the final blow. Once he admitted he loved Sam, there would be no going back.

He pounded his fist on the steering wheel. He couldn’t leave her at the hospital; she didn’t have a car. Then again, she probably wouldn’t want to come within ten feet of him. Hell. Fine. He’d sit right there, blow off some steam, then go back inside. He owed her an apology, just as she owed him one.

Samantha fought the urge to cry as Lance stormed out. How could she make him see that she truly wasn’t who she used to be? And now she had to protect herself—her feelings—from a man she knew could crush her more than any other. He wasn’t right for her. She wasn’t ready for him, and never would be.

Volatile. That’s what she was. Unpredictable and unsure of her own emotions. Ready to push away the man she loved.

Whoa. Stop right there.
They hadn’t even dated. Hell, they hadn’t even really said anything nice to each other since she arrived, and she’d come up with
love?
Was she out of her mind? She paced a few short laps around the tiny room before plopping down in the chair next to Cole’s bed.

Yes, she was totally, completely, absolutely out of her ever-loving mind. She rubbed her fingers on her temples. A faint headache stung behind her eyes.

“Samantha?”

She perked her head up at the sound of Cole’s hoarse voice. “Yes, right here.” She took his clammy hand into hers. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got thrown from a runaway train, stomped on by some wild animals, and run over by a car or two.” He coughed, a deep, throaty sound that jostled his whole body, before giving her a weak, crooked smile. “How in the hell did I end up here?”

“Long story.”

Cole raised his arms, pointing out all the tubes and gesturing to all the beeping sounds coming from behind him. “Apparently I’ve got the time.”

“Maybe later. You should rest.”

“I don’t want to rest,” he snapped. “Call the doctor or something, I want to get out of here.”

“I’m afraid you can’t do that. You’ve got pneumonia and the doctors have treated you for alcohol poisoning.”

He snorted. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Time for me to go.”

She gaped at him. “Are you serious?”

“Serious as a politician. Now call the doctor.”

“No.”

“Fine.” He shuffled around on the bed, moving the covers and searching for something. “I’ll call the nurse as soon as I find that damned button thingy.”

“This thing?” Samantha held the call button in her hand. Cole reached for it, but she scooted back, just out of his reach. He scowled at her. “I’m afraid I can’t give it to you. You’re sick. You need help. Look at you. You could’ve died today and the first thing you say is ‘I need to get out of here’?” She shook her throbbing head. “Don’t throw your life away like this. Mom and Dad would be devastated if they saw you like this. And Gram? She’s been trying to help you and you’ve only been using her for money. Please. Don’t you think it’s time for rehab?”

“God dammit! If you want to play all holier-than-thou like Lance does—get out!”

Samantha flinched. “What does Lance have to do with this?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you that he’s been trying to get me off booze for years? Nosy bastard. He won’t let me keep my business to myself. Always checking on me and trying to get me into rehab.” Cole shifted on the bed and grabbed at the call button again. Samantha scooted back more. “Always talking about you—”

“Me?”

“He can’t shut up about nothing. All I wanted after you ran away and left me alone was peace. But he was always there. I shouldn’t have come back to town. I should’ve just stayed away permanently after breaking you two up. Nothing good can happen in a shitty town like this.”

Samantha froze. “What did you say?”

“That this town is a dump! I need to get out.” He snatched at the button again. “Give me the damn thing!”

“No.” Samantha stood up. “What do you mean you broke us up?”

“What? Oh…that. Yeah, well—serves you right for abandoning me.”

She held the button up. “Tell me everything, and I’ll give you this.”

Samantha walked from her brother’s hospital room, numb. Her limbs hung heavy; her chest felt hollowed out. She couldn’t believe what she’d heard. Actually, she did. Part of it, anyway.

Cole
had
lied to her all those years ago. He’d been jealous and angry, much like he was now, and had wanted to drive a wedge between her and Lance. He’d done more than that. Cole had driven a whole state between her and Lance with a few words. And then there was the part that Samantha had never known about that night. A secret Lance had kept from her. She wanted to weep for him, the boy he once was. The pain he’d gone through.

A deeper remorse for the vile words she spat at Lance earlier slithered in. Her cruel actions. Her malicious thoughts. Everything. He hadn’t deserved any of it.

God, what had she done? What had her brother done?

The hospital doors swung open and Samantha stepped outside into the sun. It warmed her cold heart. She dug for her cell phone to call a cab; she hadn’t expected Lance to hang around. Her eyes swept the parking lot as she dialed the phone.

After a moment, she spotted Lance casually leaning against the door of his truck, eyes fixed on her. She didn’t know if she should run up and wrap her arms around him or turn and bolt in the other direction. Suddenly she felt like doing both.

Without thinking, she walked forward. Before she knew it, she was standing right in front of him. His eyes swept across her face and she hid a shiver.

“Sam,” Lance said carelessly.

“What are you still doing here?”

He spread a long arm out to his side. “Waiting for you.”

“Why?”

“Get in.” He pointed toward the truck.

She wanted to, but didn’t at the same time. She inched forward. “Why?”

“I’m not leaving until we talk. We can do it in the truck. Or we can do it out here.” He jerked his head to the right. “With an audience.”

Samantha’s eyes darted left, and she saw people milling about. She looked back at Lance. His dark stare pulled her in. Her stomach did that pesky twist, then a tight flip. “Fine.”

Lance held open the door, and she slid onto the passenger side seat. “Ouch!” She jerked up and found herself pressed into his chest, his arms wrapped around her. She was a goner.

He laughed as he reached around her and picked up Jax’s T-Rex from the seat. He held it up for Samantha to see. “Sorry. Jax must have left this when I dropped him off at his friend’s.”

Her face was steaming hot. She hid it with her hand and abruptly turned back into the seat. She couldn’t look at him. No way. Her fingertips tingled where they had touched his body. She looked around his truck for something, anything to keep her hands busy. No luck, so she settled with clasping her hands and tucking them into her lap.

He maneuvered into the driver’s seat with his jaw firmly set. The truck roared to life and pulled away from the hospital.

“Talk,” she said.

“You first.”

“It would take twelve years for me to repair the damage I’ve done, Lance.” She sucked in a ragged breath. “Cole told me everything. About us. About what he did all those years ago. There are no words in the English language that would make up for what I’ve done to you. How mean I’ve been.” She gazed out the window. “I came back here, ready to better myself and try to feed some happiness back into my life. I could do it with everyone…but you. And you didn’t deserve the way I treated you.” Her throat tightened, and she coughed, trying her best to get the scratchy-teary feeling to evaporate. It didn’t.

“I knew. Somehow I knew that you were the answer to all of this. I told myself just a few days ago that the reason I was so frustrated with my life all started with you. And now?” Her voice cranked up an octave. “Now it was all for nothing.
Nothing.
Cole took that away from us, Lance. He robbed me of something I had cherished for however briefly. He made it ugly and dark. And I hated
you
for it. If I could take it all back, I would. I’m sorry.”

Lance’s face flashed with an emotion Samantha didn’t quite recognize. Relief, maybe?

“Cole’s awake, then?” Lance turned the wheel to the left at a stop light.

“Yes,” she said softly.

“How is he?”

“Oh, fine. Ornery, but fine. He wants out of the hospital and I had to bribe him to get him to tell me the story. I should’ve believed you.” She unclenched her hands and rubbed them along her jeans. “I
did
believe you. But I figured the longer I pretended it wasn’t true, the longer I wouldn’t have to—” She snapped her jaws shut. She’d almost admitted she loved him. That would’ve have been bad.

“What?”

She shook her head and gripped her thighs. “Nothing. Never mind. The point is I know the truth. You know the truth. And I’m sorry for treating you the way I have. You didn’t deserve it. Had I known, I would’ve acted differently.”

His hand left the steering wheel to brush her cheek. “It’s okay. Now we can get off to a new start. What are you going to do about him?”

“I don’t know. He’ll be in the hospital for a few more days. I made sure of that before I left. Hopefully he will come to his senses before then.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. And again, I’m sorry for those mean things I said to you. I really didn’t mean what I said. I was protecting myself.”

He cast a sideways glance at her. “Protecting yourself from what?”

“You.”

He tried—and failed—to hide the surprise in his expression. “What happened to you, Sam?”

She didn’t want to answer that. She didn’t want to put everything out for him to examine. Dissect. Judge. She twisted her hands in her lap again.