All for Maddie (23 page)

“Ah, you didn’t change your
mind. Good morning.” Matt cheerfully spoke.

“Good morning,” I smiled.

“I had you come at nine,
because it really slows down once everyone gets their morning power before
work.”

“Are you the only one that
works here?” I asked.

“Nope. Me, you, and Silver.
She’ll be in later.”

“Silver?” I asked, wondering
what kind of name that was.

“She was named after a racing
horse, I guess. She thinks she’s an artist or something. I’m not sure what it
is she does. I call them contraptions. She’s weird as hell,” he teased.

Matt taught me how to make
the different coffee blends but mostly talked. It wasn’t busy at all, and there
was a laminated folder with the different brews. I picked right up on it. I was
happy to be there. It felt good to get out of that house and have a life.
That’s what I needed; a life that Alex didn’t dictate.

Silver showed up right at
eleven, and Matt left for his class. Silver was a little strange, but I liked
her. She was close to my age and was constantly shaping straws, coffee stirs,
paper, and paperclips into something. I was sure her mind never stopped
creating.

I left around one, happy. I
walked along the sidewalk excited that I was getting Maddie her zoo. I had two
new friends, a job, and a life that didn’t include Alex. I wished that we could
be like other parents that weren’t together. Why couldn’t I just get my own
place and he be the weekend dad like everyone else? I didn’t want to live in
his house. I didn’t want to sleep in his bed, drive his car, shower in his
shower, or anything else to do with Alex Wesson. God, I wanted to go home to my
house at the resort.

“Mommy!” Maddie exclaimed,
running to me as I entered the house.

“Hi, baby,” I said, picking
her up.

“You didn’t drive,” Alex
guessed.

“Nope,” I replied with
nothing more.

“You walked for four hours?”

“No, just into town.”

“Why?”

I shot him a dirty look,
letting him know that it was none of his business. He dropped it.

Maddie only went to preschool
every other day. The next morning when I was getting ready to leave for my
shift, she wanted to go with me.

“Mommy will take you to the
park this afternoon,” I promised.

“But where you go?” she
wanted to know.

“Mommy has to go to the
coffee shop.”

“I want to go there too. I
want a chocolate cold drink.”

“We’ll get one this afternoon,
I promise. You stay here and help daddy work, and you and I will go when I get
home, okay?”

“Where are you going?” Alex
asked as I slipped on my shoes.

“Maddie, go play in your
room. Why don’t you color Mommy a pretty picture?”

“Okay!” she exclaimed,
running off. I knew this was going to get ugly.

“To work,” I admitted.

“To work?”

“Yes, Alex. I got a job at
Java Jake’s.”

“What? No, I don’t want you
working at some coffee shop. You don’t need to work.”

I stood to face him, feeling
the anger surface. “I don’t want you to rape me. I don’t want you to knock me
up. I don’t want to live in your house. I don’t want you to make my family
think I am crazy. I don’t want you to manipulate me into signing the rights to
my daughter over to you. I don’t want to
—
”

“Whitley, stop, it doesn’t
have to be this way. You don’t need to work.”

“I do need to work. I need to
get the fuck away from you. Do you not get it, Alex? I fucking hate you with
every being in my body. I wish you were dead.”

“Whitley, let’s talk. We
don’t have to hate each other. Don’t you think we should make this a good
environment for Maddie?”

“No, I don’t think Maddie
should even know who you are. Maddie and I were doing just fine without you.”

“You’re never taking her from
me, Whit.”

“Watch me. You might be dead,
but I promise you, I
will
do just that. I’ll see ya around.” I had to
get away from him. I needed to walk away before I tried to kill him right that
second.

“You can take your car,” he
called.

I turned on my heels and shot
daggers through him. “I don’t have a car. I have an old pickup truck that
you
decided I didn’t need. I’ll walk.” I knew I was being difficult. I just
couldn’t help it, not anymore. I’d taken all I could take from him. Him
tricking me into full custody of Maddie was the last straw.

It was hard for me to be
pleasant to the customers that morning. I was steaming from my earlier
conversation with Alex. I was glad when it slowed down and I could be left
alone with my self-loathing angry thoughts.

“You okay?”

“Yes, are you okay?” I
snapped at Matt, ten minutes after he had arrived.

“I’m a pretty good listener,”
he smiled. I didn’t want him to smile at me. I didn’t want his boyish charm. I
just wanted to be left alone.

“Yeah, and I have lots to
talk about, but I can’t. You see, I’m forced to keep all this shit bottled up
and not talk about it so it’s fine. Don’t ask me if I’m okay. I have to be
okay, because nobody gives me a choice.”
Jesus Christ, Whitley, shut the
hell up
.

Matt took my cold cup of
coffee from my hand and sat it on the counter. “Come on,” he coaxed.

“Come on where? I have to
watch the counter.”

“Silver is here, she can do
it. We’re getting you out of here for a while.”

“What? No, Matt, I’m sorry.
I’m fine, I promise. I’m just having one of those days. I’m good.”

“Silver, you got this for a
while?”

“Mmm hmmm,” she replied
engrossed in shaping about twenty paperclips into something. She was so weird.

“Matt, stop, I’m not going
anywhere with you.” I tried as I was being dragged out the back door toward the
alley and his topless jeep. Was he crazy? It wasn’t warm enough to drive around
with no top.

“Yes, you are. When was the
last time you went out and had any fun? Buckle up.”

“Matt, I need the money. I
need to stay here and work,” I protested as he forced me into the passenger
seat taking it up on himself to buckle me in.

“You’re still on the clock.
You’re getting paid, and you’re going to get paid for the next three hours for
the most exciting day you’ve had in a while.”

“I have fun,” I lied.

“I’m sure you do. I would
love to build towers out of logos and sing Yo Gabba Gabba songs.”

I laughed. “You know who Yo
Gabba Gabba is?”

“Yup, I have a four year old
son. He loves that stupid show.”

“You have a kid?” I was
shocked, not that I really even knew the guy. I’d just met him, but he still
didn’t seem like the fatherly type to me. I’m not sure why. I guess because he
was a college kid working in his dad’s coffee shop and was young. Wait, I was
young too.

“Yes, Griffin. He lives with
his mom. I get him every other weekend and every Wednesday.”

“Oh,” I replied. I wasn’t
sure how to react to that news.

He smiled over at me as I
crossed my arms from the freezing chill. “He was somewhat of a surprise,” he
explained, reaching behind his seat to grab a thick brown coat for me.

“Maddie was somewhat of a
surprise as well,” I offered, covering my arms with the coat.

“I figured as much.”

“What’s that supposed to
mean?”

“You’re young. How old are
you?”

“I’ll be twenty-two in a
little over a month.”

“And you said Maddie will be four?”

“Yes, she’ll turn four a
month after me to the day. I am May 16
^th
. She is June 16
^th
.”

“So you were barely eighteen
when you had her. I would say she was a surprise.”

I snickered a little. “Yes, she
was a surprise.”

I talked to Matt for almost
forty minutes about the resort, how I was raised, how Alex and I decided that
we needed to live together for Maddie, how there was nothing but her between
us, and why I was working. He thought it was sweet that I was working for a
birthday present for Maddie. He even understood why I refused to use Alex’s
money.

“Matt, where are we going? I
don’t even know you.” I finally asked when he took what looked like a dirt path
through a rough terrain, explaining the need for the jeep.

He laughed. “Are you afraid?”

“A little, you’re taking me
to the middle of nowhere. Why?”

“You see that rock right
there?” he asked, bending down and looking up. “We’re going to climb it.”

I laughed. I thought he was
joking. “I’m not climbing that thing.”

“Oh, yes, you are. It’s
amazing. You’ll love it.”

“Matt, are you serious? I
have a child. I can’t die.”

“I have a child too. You
won’t die. What size are your feet?”

“Excuse me?”

“What size shoe do you wear?”

“Seven and a half. Why?”

“Perfect, my sister’s shoes are in the back. They’re a
seven. You want them nice and snug.”

“I’m not rock climbing with you,
Matt.”

“Okay.”

I rested my foot on Matt’s thigh while he helped me with the
pointed toe shoes. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. This wasn’t a stress
reliever. It was causing more stress. I was going to fall. How would I explain
my two broken legs to Alex or my dad? I was already crazy.

“Shouldn’t we have ropes or something?” I asked.

Matt smiled and took the rolls of rope from the back of his
jeep. “Stop worrying, we’re going to climb the backside. It’s not as steep.”

I groaned as I followed him between the massive set of
rocks. There were already anchors in place, stuck in tiny crevices leading to
the top. The top where I was going to fall to my death.

I felt embarrassed when Matt helped me into my safety
harness. He tightened the straps around my waist, extremely close to my crotch
as I looked around, trying to calm my nerves. He didn’t seem to be disturbed
about being that close to my sex at all. He busily talked, explaining that he
would be right behind me. Great, I couldn’t wait.

Rock climbing was hard work. You were practically relying on
your fingers and toes. Matt made it look easy. I knew I was slowing him down,
but I couldn’t help it. He was a lot stronger than I was. It also took longer
to get up than I thought it would. By looking up you would have thought it was
a five minute climb. It wasn’t. We’d been climbing for at least thirty minutes
and still had another thirty feet or so to go. I was tired and my legs were
starting to shake from my overworked muscles.

“Okay, you need to move over to the right. You see that half
inch crevice right there?” he pointed.

I stepped horizontally, trying to maneuver my body sideways
up the cliff. Slipping, I screamed as I fell to my death.

Matt laughed, enclosing my body between his and the massive
rocks. “You’re fine, keep going.”

“I don’t like you very much, and I quit. I’m not working for
you anymore. You’re going to get me killed.”

“You don’t quit. Just wait until we jump out of an
airplane.”

“I assure you, I will not be doing that.”

He laughed again.

We finally made it to the top and I fell to my back
exhausted.

“Sit up,” he demanded.

“Why? I can’t. I’m too tired. How the hell are we getting
down from here?”

“Climbing. Sit up.”

“Why do I have to sit up?” I said, moving to a sitting position.
He didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. We were on top of the world. “Oh my God,
Matt,” I exclaimed, looking out. It was almost worth the climb. It was
breathtaking.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?”

“Maddie would love this.”

“We’ll take her sometime. I take Griffin right over there,”
he pointed to a rock not near as steep as the one we had just climbed. “He
loves to get harnessed up and climb that thing.”

“I’m sure her dad would protest that.”

“Yeah about that, explain it to me. You guys live together
in the same house, but aren’t really a couple? That’s so weird.”

“Yes, but our families think we are a couple.”

“Why? What kind of life is that? Do you actually think it’s
healthy for Maddie?”

“No, not at all, I don’t have a say in it.”

“Yes, you do. You don’t have to live with him. That’s your
choice.”

“Not really, let’s not talk about this. Look how low the
clouds are. I feel like I could touch them.”

“You don’t want to be there?”

“Matt, I’ve known you for two days,” I reminded him, letting
him know that he was being too personal. “You’re my boss, I’m not discussing my
life with you.”

“So you don’t even sleep in the same room?”

I laughed. He wasn’t letting it go. “Nope.”

“Do you like, date other people?”

“No, not really. I mean he goes out and I know where and
what he is doing, but I don’t really go out, haven’t been out in a while
anyway. I have friends back home, but not really here.”

“You have me. I’m your friend,” he smiled.

“You’re not my friend. You gave me a job so that I could buy
my daughter a zoo.”

“Whoa, hang on a second. I think we had a misunderstanding.
I’m paying you eight bucks an hour, not eight thousand. You’re buying a zoo?”

I laughed again. I needed to laugh. I liked Matt. He made me
feel…I don’t know, happy, I guess. “Yes, I am buying her a zoo. She saw it in a
magazine and hasn’t shut up about it. She wants it for her birthday, and I
wasn’t about to ask Alex for the money. I want to get it for her on my own.”

“You’re a good mom,” he smiled.

Matt and I sat on top of the world talking about my screwed
up life. I told him more than I should have, not mentioning how Maddie came
into the world or anything like that. I didn’t tell him that I was being forced
to live with him
or
lose my daughter, but I did tell him things that I
shouldn’t have. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. The only person I had
was Regan, and I still didn’t feel right bringing her into the middle and
coming between her and her brother.

“I need to head back, Matt,” I finally said, knowing Alex
was going to be livid, wondering where I was.

I was right. He was in the front lawn with Maddie waiting
for me to get home. He never played with her in the front. I knew he was
waiting for me.

“Where were you? How the hell did you get so dirty?”

I ignored him as Maddie ran to me. “Come and see what I did
at school today,” she exclaimed, dragging me inside.

“Whitley?” Alex coaxed.

“I’m busy with my daughter right now,” I said, brushing him
off and following Maddie to her room.

She led me to her little desk and to a long sheet of
construction paper.

“See, its monkeys,” she excitedly explained. She had fuzzy
little monkey cutouts glued to the paper with wooden sticks glued and painted
black, keeping them in their cages.

“You didn’t do this,” I teased.

“Uh-huh, I did it all by myself.”

“Maddie, it’s wonderful. Do you want to hang it up?”

“No, Daddy say it’s too heavy. It’ll fall off the wall.”

“I think thumbtacks would hold it. Do you want to try?”

“Yes,” she giggled.

The thumbtacks held it just fine. Her entire wall above her
desk was covered in preschool artwork. Most of them consisting of some sort of
animal or fish. I loved it.

“I have a make a snake cage a marrow,” she explained.

“I have to make a snake cage tomorrow,” Alex corrected from
the door. “Say it again.”

Maddie said it the right way as I scowled at him. Why
couldn’t he just leave her alone? I liked her baby talk.

“Why you all dirty?” she asked.

“Why are you all dirty?” Alex once again corrected.

“Jesus, Alex, give it a break. Mommy was climbing some rocks
with some friends today. I’m going to take a shower and then I’ll start
dinner,” I said, moving her hair from her face.

“Climbing rocks?” Alex asked as I passed him.

“You can hear?”

“What do you mean, climbing rocks?” He asked, ignoring my
sarcasm.

“You don’t have custody of me. It is none of your business
what I was doing.”

“Maybe Dr. Pierce should know about this.”

That pissed me off. I turned on my heels and got right in
his face. “I’m sick of your threats, Alex. You do what you have to do. I’m not
letting you dictate my life anymore. You got what you wanted. Leave me the fuck
alone.”

“Whitley, what do you want? I don’t know how to make you
happy.”

“I want to take my daughter and go home. Are you going to
allow that to happen, Alex? Are you going to let me leave here so I never have
to see your face again? I didn’t think so.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to
say a lot more. I didn’t. I turned and walked away when Maddie walked out of
her room.

Maddie and I went for a walk right after supper. I knew I
should stay away from Matt. I didn’t want him to think I was coming in there to
see him. Maddie wanted a chocolate smoothie. I promised her we would go, she
wasn’t about to forget it.

“Hey, little Daisy, how are you? I bet you could use
something chocolate. Am I right?” Matt teased. She nodded with a big smile.

I got a plain coffee and we sat at a booth when Matt got
busy. He joined us as soon as he was freed up.

He was so silly with Maddie. I loved it. She giggled several
times at his funny comments. I briefly wished that we had met under different
circumstances. I was doomed. Alex would never let another man around his child,
not that I even had to worry about that. Who in their right mind would want to date
a girl living with her baby daddy? Nobody.

<><><> 

Matt, Silver, and I became pretty good friends over the next
couple of weeks. I was probably spending more time with Matt than I should have
been. I knew where it was leading. I couldn’t help myself. I needed a friend, and
he was my friend. I laughed with him more than I had laughed since Alex Wesson
unexpectedly showed up in my life. I didn’t climb anymore rocks with him,
although he tried to get me to. I loved it once I was at the top, but I wasn’t
interested in getting there again.

I hardly spoke to my dad at all. I knew that he was talking
to Alex to get the scoop. I was hurt by it. He let Alex come between us. He
trusted Alex over me. Of course, my lack of communication was due to my
illness. He understood. That was what he told me. He understood. He didn’t
understand anything. He was wearing blinders. He believed what the noble Alex
Wesson told him. Half the time I didn’t even know what was going on. They
didn’t tell me. Like my dad and Dana showing up Easter weekend. I didn’t even
know they were coming.

My dad and Alex took off as soon as they arrived Thursday
morning. My dad didn’t golf. I was sure he had never even held a golf club. I
stood in shock, sipping my coffee as Alex shook my dad’s hand and they
discussed their golf outing.

“Alex, I have to work. You knew that. Who’s going to keep
Maddie?”

“Connie and I are taking her and Trenton to the aquarium
today. Alex said he talked to you about it. Did you forget, sweetie?” Dana
asked. What? My stepmother was taking my daughter to the aquarium with Connie.

I snorted and walked toward the kitchen. “Yeah, I forgot.”

“I go to see the fish?” I heard Maddie ask.

I held my finger up waiting for it.

“Am I going to the aquarium?” Alex corrected. I smiled. Un-fucking-believable.

I hoped Alex was knocked into his afterlife by a golf ball.

“Regan wants to talk to you,” Alex said, handing me my
phone, leaving my family to join me in the kitchen.

I hung up on her. “Are you kidding me, Alex? You never told
me my dad was coming. You never told me your mom and Dana were taking Maddie
anywhere. I wanted to take her to the aquarium.”

“You can go to the aquarium, Whit.”

“No, Alex, I can’t. I am scheduled to work. I can’t just go
to the aquarium.”

“You don’t even need that job.”

“I do need that job, and I need to get away from you before
I go insane for real. You could have at least had the decency to tell me they
were coming.”

“They’re taking Maddie home with them too. They’re going to
bring her back Sunday for Easter dinner.”

“See, I would have liked to have known that too. I could
have gotten the time off and gone home with her.”

“I wouldn’t let you. I’d be afraid you would take off and do
something stupid with her again.”

“Get out of my face, Alex. Go play golf with my dad and
leave me alone.” That was it. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take it for one
more second. There had to be something I could do.

I squatted to Maddie and hugged her. “I love you so much. You
have fun with Trenton and I’ll see you when you get home from Papaw’s.”

I walked out the door and down the sidewalk without one word
to my dad, Dana, or Alex. What the hell, I was crazy after all. I’m sure they
were all talking about how crazy I was as I walked toward town. Happy that at
least I had that.

“You okay?” Matt asked as I entered and walked straight past
him without a word.

“Whit?” he questioned as I punched my timecard.

“Don’t ask me if I’m okay. If one more person asks me if I
am okay, I am going to scream.”

Matt placed both hands in the air, letting me know that he
was backing off. I shook my head in frustration as he left me alone. I didn’t
mean to snap at him. He was the only one who seemed genuinely concerned about
me.

“Sorry, I was in the middle of ripping your brother a new
ass,” I told Regan, answering her call. I wasn’t mad at her either.

“Yeah, I just talked to my mom. They said you were a little
distraught this morning. You okay?”

That’s it; I am going to scream. “I’m fine Regan, I’ve got
to go. I’m at work. Did you need something?” I asked a little colder than I
meant to.

“Don’t go getting your panties in an uproar with me. I was
just calling to see if you wanted to go to Blue Moon tonight. Rowdy and the
boys are playing.”

“Sorry, and yes I would love to. It seems as though my
daughter is going home with my dad.”

“And you don’t want her to?”

“I don’t care. I would have at least liked to have known
about it before they just showed up here, unbeknownst to me.”

“You didn’t know they were coming?”

“No, they don’t really talk to me. They do all of their
consulting with Alex. I’ve got to go Regan. What time you picking me up?”

“Not until like eight. Is that okay?”

“Yes, I’ll see ya later.”

We really didn’t need two people in the shop. We had only
seen one person in two hours. I pretty much kept to myself, cleaning up around
the place.

“You can take off if you want,” Matt offered.

“Nah, you can take off. I don’t really have anywhere to go.
What the hell is that noise?” I finally asked, looking up. It sounded like the
apartment upstairs was falling down. I’d noticed it several times already.