All He Desires: The Complete Series (18 page)

"You can’t keep hiding from me forever. You aren’t even at your old place anymore."

"And that’s because my place wasn’t big enough for the two of us. As much satisfaction as I bet it would give, I didn’t ditch my old place just because of you. My world doesn’t revolve around you...or anyone else for that matter. Yes, Logan is my master, but he’s also my lover and a companion. You were never any of those things, and now you’re just a small speck in the rearview mirror that I can easily scrub away with Windex."

Heart beating in my chest, I clenched my fists. I was more than prepared for a slap to the face, so when Dennis deflated, I wasn't sure what to think.

"Get her out of here," Devlin ordered Jake. "I'll make sure the authorities see Dennis if and when he leaves."

Wrapped in a blanket and Jake's arms, I was led out of the room. A lot happened after that, but hell if I could remember most of it. Jake took me to where I'd left my clothes so I could get changed. Once one of the on scene paramedics gave me the okay, we headed home.

Neither of us talked in the car, but I knew we had the same thing on our minds.

Dennis attacked you.

It wouldn't happen again.

He'll probably do time for it.

I didn't doubt that.

What if you have to testify at his trial?

I froze. There were no answers for that, just a strong hope it would never happen.

You'll never see him again if Jake has anything to say about it.

My home or Jake's, it didn't matter. Dennis would never find me, and I was sure
The Limelight
would keep him on every predator sign they had.

We're going home.

* * * *

T
endrils of steam floated above the water's surface as I buried myself in the aquatic tomb. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a long soak, and mine were as hot as they came.

My muscles sighed in joint relief as my skin quickly turned from slightly pink to lobster red.

Jake smiled and sat on the rim of the tub. "You haven't said much since we've been home."

In fact, I'd spoken hardly at all except for when Jake offered tea and I opted for my boiling bath instead. Tea could come later, after I remembered how to breathe.

And if my skin could breathe, so could I.

I sank in the tub. "Not much to say, is there?"
Not much worth saying.

"No," Jake replied, concern lining his face. "I guess not." His eyes softened. "You sure you're okay with this? If we file charges after tonight, it may stand to go to trial."

"Let it," I growled.
I honestly don't care.

"You wouldn't have to testify, I don't think. Devlin and I can do that since we were both there and saw most of what happened."

"But you weren't the ones being attacked."

"We'll handle it." He dipped a hand in the water to squeeze my own.

"What if he brings up..." I averted my gaze.

"Kira, what is it?"

"If he mentions our lifestyle...if he tells them—"

"Like I said, don't worry about it. There are judges who are aware of the life we live. Hell, some of them even practice it. Besides, if Dennis wants to claim I beat you in front of a live audience, I have fifty or so witnesses who'll say otherwise—and not because I tell them to."

I sighed and sank even more, allowing the water to cover my neck. Far as I could tell, Dennis hadn't left any physical marks, but that didn't mean I'd ever forget what happened tonight. I'd pegged him as the jealous type, but violent? Like this? I think it surprised everyone involved.

"So, if you could do it again, would you?" Jake asked after a long moment.

"What? Losing myself in front of an audience or telling Dennis off the way I did?"
Thank you for letting me do that, by the way.

Jake furrowed his brow. "I, for one, hope you never have to defend yourself in front of him again. But yes, would you ever do the demo again?"

"The same one?" I squirmed at the thought of being in full bondage. And Marisa was right—I didn't notice the audience much at all.

"Possibly others as well."

"I guess I'm okay with it."

"Does this mean I can let Devlin know he has a replacement team until they get back?"

"Who says I'm going to return it?"

We both smiled. There was nothing more to say. Dennis was gone, possibly forever, and tonight marked just one more step toward reaching full submission. And for now, that was more than enough for me.

F
uck.

The magic stick had already predicted my future, but I opted for a second opinion. Then a third.

Every single test mirrored the one before it.
Pregnant.
The knot in my stomach grew, and I convinced myself it was just a bad case of nerves for missing my period instead of the morning sickness I was bound to have weeks from now—possibly days.

It would be a lot easier if you knew when you conceived.
Try last night. The night before. Hell, every night for the last month would probably be a great place to start. It would’ve been easier if I wasn't pregnant at all.

The tests can have false positives.
But three times in a row?

I glared at my disc of birth control pills.
So much for being effective.
I'd started on the pill close to three months ago—
and now this.

I studied each of the pregnancy tests again, thinking—hoping maybe they took longer to give me the answers I wanted.
Fuck.
The results were the same, and the ball in my stomach turned over.

I ran for the bathroom.

* * * *

"I
need a favor," I said, holding the cell to my ear.

After I lost half my breakfast to some random stomach upset—
yeah, random—
I decided to give Marisa a call. I could’ve called my mom, or possibly my sister, but in the end, I knew I needed more than just any woman who was ever pregnant. I needed one in this lifestyle, and Marisa was the best I had.

"Kira, what's up?" Marisa, asked, her voice uneasy. "Is everything okay?"

I considered telling her I was fine, but that wouldn't explain why I'd called. We rarely spoke outside
The Limelight
, and only when I had questions about the demo or something new Jake and I planned to try.

I took a deep breath.
Keep it simple.
"You going to be home this afternoon?"

"Umm..." she paused, and something sounding like a car door slammed. "I should be. Devlin, too."

"Oh. It can wait, then."

Marisa laughed. "I didn't mean it like that, sweetie. If you need a bit of girl talk, I'm sure Devlin won't mind giving us the living room."

I drew in a shaky breath. "And if we need someplace private?"

"Don't you worry, I'll find a place for us. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, just need an ear I can trust."

"Well, you know mine are always available." Devlin said something in the background I couldn't understand. "Actually, he has some work outside the house, so we should be okay." She laughed again. "He says so long as we don't do any girl-on-girl action without him so he can watch."

"I wish. Trust me, I'd much rather we do that than—" I cut myself off.
Just hold it together until this afternoon.

"Kira?" There were muffled voices on the other end of the line. "Is this about Jake?"

"Hmm? No, he's fine."
It's just me I'm worried about.

"You're scaring me, sweetie. Get here soon, okay? You have our address?"

"Jake has it in his GPS, but he isn't home."

Once she relayed her and Devlin's address, we hung up. Sitting in the silence of Jake's living room was almost as unnerving as the test results had been. I knew if I'd asked, Marisa would've driven over in a heartbeat, but Jake's house suddenly felt larger than it usually did.
Getting out of the house will do me some good.

That is, so long as I held down whatever was left in my stomach.

Knowing I'd probably hear about my lack of work on this week's order of masks once Jake got home, I headed out to my car. With the afternoon still too far away, I figured a drive to clear my head couldn't hurt.

Twenty minutes later, I found myself pulling in to Devlin's driveway. I'd only ever been in their home once, and it was for a few minutes so Jake could drop off some papers.

Devlin and Marisa’s home was a quaint townhouse, which felt just as overwhelming as Jake's mansion when I walked up to the front door by myself.

Marisa opened the door and immediately hugged her arms around me. "Now I know something's wrong. You're pale as a ghost."

"Marisa, who's at the door?" Devlin called from somewhere down the hall.

"Kira's arrived early, Master." She dipped her head to me and stepped to the side. "Come on in. Would you like anything to eat? Coffee? Tea?"

I grimaced as each offer sounded less appealing than the last. "I don't think that's such a good idea." I groaned. "But thank you."

Marisa frowned, but said nothing.

Devlin walked out of the kitchen moments later. "Kira, I thought we weren't expecting you for a few hours."

"My apologies, but I'm afraid this couldn't wait," I replied.

Marisa clasped both my hands. "Come. We'll head upstairs for some privacy." She looked to Devlin who silently inclined his head.

"Anything I should be alerting Jake about?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"I'll let you know." I forced a smile. "But I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him I was here until I've had the chance to talk to him myself."

Devlin's expression hardened, but whatever came to mind, passed. "Marisa, we will discuss Kira's visit later."

"Yes, Master," Marisa said before leading me up the stairs toward their room. As if she could sense my hesitation, she said, "Don't worry. He just wants to make sure you're okay. We talk about everything and know when to keep those things to ourselves."

Guiding me into their personal quarters, she closed the door behind us. Now that we were alone, I didn't feel nearly as anxious as before.

Marisa cradled her growing baby bump and sat on the bed, patting the mattress beside her.

"Trying to get me into bed already?" I asked, offering her a wry smile.

"Maybe. What are you going to do about it?" Marisa pursed her lips at me.

I took my place beside her and leaned my head against her shoulder. Hot tears stung at the backs of my eyes as I wrung my hands in my lap.

"I don't know what to do," I sniffed.

"Oh, sweetie." Marisa stroked my hair. "Do about what?" She lifted my chin and, if she wasn't already pregnant, I'd be willing to bet she'd have made a wonderful mother. There was no judgment in her eyes. Just concern. "Kira?"

I wiped my eyes on a sleeve, but that didn't help my throbbing temples. "I..." I shook my head. "I'm..." I pressed a hand to her stomach and lost all sense of direction as I fell into her arms again.

"Oh, Kira." Marisa held me. Rocked with me, and as I leaked tears onto her clothes, she never let go. "Hey...shh...shh...it's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

It took me some time to stop crying. Even longer to meet her gaze—to look at the same concerned eyes that had greeted me at the door.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to lose it in front of you like that."

"We all have our breaking points, hon." She caressed my cheek. "Bet you feel better."

I forced a laugh. "A little."

"Does Jake know?"

I shook my head. "Found out this morning. Not sure it's set in just yet."

"Aren't you on the pill, though?"

"Yeah. Kind of ironic I didn't get pregnant until
after
I started taking it. So much for that, huh?"

She shrugged. "I've heard of couples changing pills and getting pregnant months later before it had its full effects."

"Sounds like what happened with me." I released a breath. "I wasn't planning to tell anyone, but..."

"These things do tend to get out." Marisa nodded to her stomach. "But I know what you mean. It's a heavy weight to carry on your own. I told Devlin just as soon as I found out."

"How did he take it?"

"He was thrilled, but then..."

"It was planned," I finished for her, cringing at the bitterness in my voice. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. So, what are you going to do? See the clinic you got the pills from?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Well then, if you want, I can check with my obstetrician to see if she can get you in sometime this afternoon. I can even go with you, if you like."

"No, thank you, but I think this is something I need to do on my own."

"Let me call her while you're here just to see. You won't know the sex yet, but she should be able to give you an idea of when you conceived depending on how far along you are."

"A lot further than I'd like, that's for sure."

"Let me guess, morning sickness?"

"It’s pretty much why I looked in to it in the first place, and seeing as I've been spotting so much since I got on the pill, I don't even know when my period is anymore." I stared at my hands. "You going to tell Devlin?"

"Yes, but I'll let you tell Jake. Just don't wait too long. I'm sure he'll be pleased." She squeezed my hands. "He's mentioned wanting a child for some time."

"It's not him I'm worried about."

I wasn't ready at all.

D
r. Cruz couldn't get me in until Tuesday morning, and keeping it from Jake was got increasingly difficult. Especially when he worked from home.
A least your morning sickness is just that.
I'd already done the self-diagnosis crap online and read all the horror stories of women who had morning sickness all the way from week three until they gave birth. It wasn't the norm, but it was the only information I actually remembered.

Luckily, I was able to explain my morning sickness away as some stomach bug that was going around, but I wasn't sure what I'd do after my appointment. I was fortunate enough to not suffer the sickness later in the afternoon or at night. But between the hours of two in the morning and two in the afternoon, it was like playing Russian Roulette with the toilet.