All I Believe (25 page)

All of that was on my mind one Tuesday afternoon as I sat on the edge of the deck with my feet in the clear water, watching a school of tiny, black-and-white-striped fish dart around. It was so beautiful where we were, the crescent-shaped white sand beach lined with palm trees, the sky and sea vividly blue, postcard-perfect. But I was preoccupied by the talk Luca and I had been putting off, the need to clear the air weighing on me heavily.

I turned toward him to broach the subject when I saw Andreo cutting across the beach, headed for our little hut. His expression was serious, as was usually the case. It was obvious he felt like a third (or fifth) wheel with Luca and me, and Gianni and Zan, so he kept to himself most of the time, just checking in several times a day to see how his brother was feeling before retreating to the hotel again.

Their relationship was far from tranquil, and even though they were both making an effort to get along, they often ended up bickering whenever they tried to have a conversation. Andreo was always trying to give his brother unsolicited advice, which annoyed Luca to no end. When he saw his brother approaching, Luca’s first response was to stifle a sigh as he set aside his paperback.

Once he reached the deck, Andreo stood there awkwardly and asked, “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine.” That was his stock answer. Then he said, “Pull up a chair. You look like you’re standing at attention.”

Andreo perched on the edge of the second lounge chair and said, “Are you using sunscreen? You’re getting really dark. I wouldn’t want you to put yourself at risk for skin cancer.”

Luca made a conscious effort not to roll his eyes. “Don’t worry, Andreo, I know how to take care of myself.”

“It was just a suggestion. You don’t have to get snippy about it.”

“I’m not snippy. Not at all.”

Andreo knit his brows, then turned to look at me and asked, “How are things back home?”

“Tense. Dante called a family summit for this afternoon, they’re all supposed to meet on neutral territory and hash things out. I wish I could be there for that, even though I’m public enemy number three behind the two of you as far as Jerry’s concerned, so he’d never listen to me.”

“Let me know what happens,” Andreo said.

“I will, definitely. This concerns all of us.”

“So, I bought a plane ticket for tomorrow,” Andreo said after a pause. “I’m not really needed here, since Luca’s doing well with his recovery and the doctor doesn’t anticipate any issues.” Julie and her husband had been coming by every day since Luca had been released from the hospital to check his progress.

“Are you going back to Rome?” Luca asked.

He nodded. “There are some matters to attend to, and I can’t do what I need to from here.”

“Are you actually involved in organized crime?” I asked that just because I realized everything I knew about his past was a second-hand story or rumor.

“I run an antique export business which for the most part is legitimate, but you know how it is. Sometimes palms need to get greased, and maybe not everything we export has a bill of sale attached to it, if you get what I’m saying.” Luca sighed at that, and Andreo frowned at him. “Easy for you to judge. Not all of us have a Cambridge education. I’m doing the best I can.”

“You know,” Luca said, “since you’re the one who paid for and encouraged that Cambridge education, I don’t quite get why you feel the need to throw it back in my face like that.”

“I wasn’t throwing it in your face.”

“You were a little.”

I sensed a major bicker cueing up, so I headed it off by saying, “You should have dinner with us tonight, Andreo, since it’s your last night in Tahiti.”

“I’d like that,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll get out of your way in the meantime, your famous friend’s on his way over.” Andreo tilted his head toward Zan, who’d come out of his bungalow and was headed our way.

“You can stay if you want,” I told him. “We’re just going to hang out and keep Luca company.”

“That’s alright,” he said. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He headed down the pier, nodding to Zan as he approached.

When my cousin’s boyfriend reached us, he said hello and dropped into one of the chairs around a small patio table. I asked where Gianni was, and he grinned and said, “He’s at that farmer’s market in town. I stayed behind to give him the opportunity to horrify me with today’s assortment of exotic delicacies.” Zan and Gianni had a running joke going about my cousin always trying to get him to try new things, most of which proved to be disgusting. It amused them both to no end.

Gianni joined us about half an hour later. He was dressed in only a pair of faded, aqua blue board shorts and leather sandals. A colorful, woven messenger bag hung across his bronzed torso, and a trio of handmade necklaces adorned his neck. My cousin had really embraced life in the South Pacific.

He perched on his boyfriend’s thigh and kissed him, and Zan beamed at him and said, “Alright, let’s see it.”

“See what?” Gianni tried to look innocent.

“Whatever spiky, smelly, pungent local delicacy you managed to get your hands on today.”

“What makes you think I got anything?”

“Because you’re practically giddy with delight. Now let’s see it.” Gianni chuckled and pulled a trio of fruits from his messenger bag. “For fuck’s sake! What is that?” Zan exclaimed. “I mean, I recognize one of them, and for the record I despise papayas. But what’s that thing that looks like an orange hedgehog?”

“No clue. Try it with me!”

“Because that’s bloody likely! And what about the fat, molting red one? What are we meant to do with that?”

“We eat it!”

“Oh no we don’t,” Zan exclaimed, scooping up his boyfriend in his arms and carrying him to the edge of the deck. “All three of those need to visit Davey Jones’s locker. Not that he’ll want them either.” He shook Gianni a couple times, as if trying to dislodge the fruit, and my cousin yelled and howled with laughter. Finally Zan said, “Right. We’re going in. Let’s hope the hedgehog can swim!” With that, he leapt off the deck as Gi shrieked delightedly. I couldn’t help but laugh.

After splashing around and kissing in the water for a while (and learning that all three of the fruits floated), they told us they were going to their hut to dry off. It was pretty clear they had other intentions, though. Once they were gone, Luca grinned and said, “Fruit as foreplay. They’re weird, but I like your cousin and his rock star.”

“I’m so glad they found each other. Gianni had a string of bad relationships before he met Zan, with people who treated him as little more than arm candy. Now he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him, and that means so much to me.” When I glanced at Luca, he had a wistful expression on his face, and I asked, “What’s that look?”

“I was just thinking. I want so much for him to say that about you, too, that he’s never seen you so happy. I have a long way to go to make that a reality, though.” He held a hand out to me as he said, “Come here, Nicky.” I took his hand and sat on the edge of his lounger, and he said, “Closer. Please? I know you’ve been keeping your distance because of my injury, but I can’t take it anymore. We’ve been living like roommates, and I’m about to go out of my mind. I need to feel you in my arms. I need that more than breathing right now.”

I climbed onto the lounge chair gingerly, on his right side, opposite his injury, and rested my head lightly on his shoulder. Both he and I exhaled slowly. I’d needed this too, so much, but I asked, “Am I hurting you?”

“Not even a little.”

“Is that just because you’re on pain killers?”

“No. It’s been almost two weeks, I’m healing.”

“It’s been nine days.”

“Right. Almost two weeks, like I said,” he told me with a little grin. I started to sit up, worried that he was in more pain than he was letting on, but he held me close to him and said, “Please don’t go. We need this. I know we need to talk, too. There was a lot we needed to say before the accident, and since then we’ve been avoiding it.”

“I know. I was thinking about that earlier.”

“Are you still mad at me for not telling you who my father was?”

“No. I understand why you kept that to yourself.”

“So, why is there this distance between us?”

I told him, “I guess it’s because I’m ashamed of the way I ran from you and refused to answer your texts. I’m so sorry I did that, Luca. You mean everything to me, but I was so quick to run at the first sign of trouble.”

“Well, trust is everything with you, and I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”

“I overreacted. I think this relationship scared me, honestly. It was just so intense and so much more than I bargained for, and while I didn’t do it consciously, maybe I was looking for a reason to bolt.”

Luca thought about that before asking, “What about now? Do you still feel like running?”

“Not at all. I hated being without you. I’m so sorry I shut you out.”

“Apology accepted. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the beginning.”

“Apology also accepted,” I said with a little grin, then stretched up and kissed his lips.

“Okay, good.”

After a pause I asked, “What are we going to do when we leave here, Luca? Where are we going to go?”

“I guess that depends on your family and what happens at today’s meeting.”

“What about your family? Andreo told me there are plenty of Natoris who would just as soon kill me as look at me.”

“They’re easily avoided. I have very little to do with my father’s family. But you’re close to yours, and I can’t imagine you going on the run with me forever.”

“I will if that’s what it takes to be with you,” I said quietly.

He shifted so he could see my face. “Are you serious?”

I nodded and said, “I love you, Luca. I was waiting for the right time to tell you that, maybe over wine and candlelight some romantic evening, but you need to know that.”

His face lit up as my words sank in, and he told me, “You just gave me the most incredible gift.” I smiled embarrassedly and broke eye contact, but he caught my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking at him again. “I love you too, Nicky.”

He kissed me tenderly, and I asked him, “Do you remember telling your brother that in San Francisco?”

“When?”

“Right after you got shot. He asked why you’d taken a bullet for me, and you said it was because you loved me. You were about to go into shock.”

“I guess I do kind of remember saying that, but the whole thing’s hazy. Do you know how bad it hurts to get shot?”

“I’m guessing very?”

“Exactly. I’m just lucky I didn’t wet myself while I was admitting my love for you.” He looked at me and said, “I didn’t, did I?” When I smiled at him and shook my head, he said, “Well, that’s a relief.”

I kissed him again and said, “Thank you for protecting me from that bullet. I still can’t believe you did that for me.”

“You would have done the same for me.”

He was absolutely right.

The family meeting in San Francisco didn’t resolve much of anything. Both sides just ended up yelling at each other, and Jerry and his contingent stormed out after ten minutes. I had a long phone conversation with Dante that evening, and he said, “I wish I had better news, but Jerry just won’t listen to reason.”

“I’m sorry I stirred up all this trouble.”

“Don’t be. It’s actually been really eye-opening. It was a mistake handing the family over to Jerry. Being in charge these last couple years has changed him. He has a god complex now, he thinks only his opinions matter.”

“Are you thinking about coming out of retirement and taking over again?”

Dante said, “I have to, even though Jerry won’t just step down willingly. If he’s like this with me, how’s he representing us to the other families? The last thing we need is to make new enemies or stir up old ones.”

“You’re right. So, how’s Nana doing with all of this?”

“She’s furious. Ollie’s here now and he’s been trying to help calm her down. But that’s kind of like trying to stuff a swarm of bees back in the hive. She keeps saying she never liked Jerry and that he’s a ‘bad seed’ who needs a good spanking.” Dante chuckled and added, “I’d pay to see that.”

“I would, too.”

“So tell me, how’s everything there? How’s Luca?”

“He’s doing well. His wound is healing, there are no signs of secondary infection, and he’s been able to start cutting back on the pain meds. We can probably be ready to move by the end of the week. The question is, where do we go?”

“Yeah, that’s definitely the question. What are you doing about law school?”

“I formally withdrew from this semester. Beyond that, who knows? I’m not sure if coming back to San Francisco is really going to be an option.”

“I need to get this situation under control, for all our sakes. This is your home,” Dante said. “It’s bullshit that you have to live like a fugitive from your own family. Pretty soon, I’m going to have to force Jerry’s hand. This can’t drag on forever.”

“Thank you again for all you’re doing, Dante.”

“Not a problem. I’d better go, I’m taking Nana shopping in an effort to distract her from this mess. She wants to buy sexy lingerie now that she has a new man. God help me.”

“Good luck. I’ll talk to you soon.” When we disconnected, I turned to look at Luca. He was still in his usual spot on the lounge chair, the book on his lap forgotten as he stared out over the water. He was dressed in a pair of white cotton shorts and a white tank top that set off his deep tan, and he hadn’t shaved in a few days. The short beard just made him look even sexier than usual, somehow.

But the bandages covering his injury were visible, too, and reminded me to keep my libido in check. I crossed the deck and started to reach for his empty glass on the little bamboo side table. “I’ll be right back with some more water for you,” I told him.

He caught my hand and looked up at me. “Sounds like things are still a mess back home.”

“They are, but Dante’s working on some solutions.”

“What if I went away for a while?” he asked, his green eyes searching my face. “If I’m out of the picture, do you think things would settle down with your family?”

“That’s not an option.”

“It would just be temporary. Maybe then you could go back home and try to smooth things over with Jerry.”

“No way. Never mind the fact that my cousin’s totally unreasonable and there’s really no talking to him. I’m not leaving your side, and not just because you’re still healing. Wherever you are, that’s where I belong.”

He gave me a sweet smile and said, “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Something really bad, apparently.”

Luca chuckled at that and got to his feet stiffly. “Let’s take a walk on the beach. We have almost an hour before we’re supposed to meet my brother for dinner.”

“You sure you’re up for that?”

“Oh yeah. This is more sitting than I’ve ever done in my life. I’m about to fuse to that lounge chair.”

“Well, you were just shot.”

“Not ‘just’. Two weeks ago.”

“Nine days.”

“I’m rounding up.”

It was just before sunset and the sky was beginning to turn orange as we walked hand-in-hand down the deserted beach. A warm breeze rustled the palm fronds overhead, and a gentle tide lapped at the shore. “I love it here,” I murmured.

“Maybe we should just stay here forever. We can build a Swiss Family Robinson treehouse and spend our days spearfishing and climbing the trees for coconuts.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“The very fact that you said spearfishing instead of fishing and talked about climbing fifty foot palm trees instead of going to the farmer’s market shows you’re way too Type-A for the quiet island life.”

Luca chuckled at that. “You read a lot into that sentence.”

“I know, but I’m right overall. You’re no good at being idle. I’m not, either.”

“You might have a point, though I really don’t consider myself a Type-A personality.”

“No,” I said, “but my point remains. We both belong in a big city.”

“True. Hey, how about Barcelona? Ignacio will be back there soon, so we’d be starting out with a friend.”

“Not Rome?”

Luca said, “Maybe eventually. For now, I think we need to keep flying under the radar. We don’t know how far your cousin Jerry is going to take this feud, and it’d be way too easy for him to track us down there.”

“You’re right.”

“And then there’s law school.”

“That’s the least of my concerns right now,” I told him.

A voice to our left startled us by saying, “That’s also very true.”

Luca and I both turned to see who’d spoken. A tall, dark-haired figure in a light linen suit stepped out from among the trees, and I exclaimed, “Connie?”

“God, I hate that nickname,” he said. “Would it kill you to call me Tino like everyone else?”

“What are you doing in Tahiti?”

“I’m here on business. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

I said, “Oh. Yeah, of course. Luca Caruso, this is my brother, Constantino Dombruso.” Luca’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. “What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Tino Dombruso,” he repeated nervously.

I didn’t understand his reaction, until something Dante had said came rushing back to me.
Did Andreo tell you about your brother, too?
I turned to Constantino as a sick feeling started to well up in my stomach, and asked again, “What are you doing here, Connie?”

He raised his left arm, and I saw the long, black, high-caliber handgun he was holding for the first time. It was fitted with a silencer. “I told you, baby brother. I’m here on business.”

I pushed Luca behind me as my heart rate surged. “This can’t be happening,” I mumbled.

“Get out of the way, Nicky.”

“So you can gun down the man I love right in front of me? Fuck you,” I growled, anger and fear vying for the top spot in the onslaught of emotions battling inside me.

“Killing him in front of you is part of the job,” my brother said, his voice alarmingly cool and detached. “Jerry was very specific. He wants to make sure you suffer for bringing a Natori into your bed.”

“Jerry’s a fucking psycho, and so are you!”

My brother rolled his eyes. “Resorting to name calling? Really? I thought we’d evolved beyond that point.”

“So, this is what you do? You kill people? I thought you were a businessman.”

“Oh, I am. This is my business. I followed in our father’s footsteps.” He grinned a little and my blood ran cold.

“How did you find us here?” We’d begun to slowly circle each other, and I kept Luca behind me.

“This is the information age, little brother. Do you think anyone can remain hidden indefinitely? I will say it slowed me down a bit when Dante used a friend’s credit card to pay for the flight, hospital and hotel, but it was just a matter of time before I was able to pick up your trail.” That told me nothing.

“I’m not letting you do this.”

“As if you have a choice,” he said. “It’ll just take one bullet to your knee to drop you like a rock. It won’t kill you, but it will hurt like hell and leave you with a nasty limp. I’d prefer to avoid such theatrics, but I know how stubborn you are, so if that’s what it takes, so be it.”

He’d been moving just a little closer as we circled, and I lunged forward, closing the gap between us, and grabbed the barrel of the gun. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to wrestle it away from him, so instead I pressed the muzzle of the silencer to my forehead and locked eyes with my brother. “If you want to go through me, this is what it’s going to take,” I told him.

Behind me, Luca yelled, “No!”

He started to step forward, but I held up my free hand to stop him and said, “Get out of here, Luca.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Connie sighed dramatically. “You two are quite a pair, a matched set of stubbornness. Let go of the gun, Nicky. Killing you wasn’t part of the deal, but I’m completing this job one way or the other.”

“Like hell you are.”

That came from Andreo, who’d appeared beside us. I let go of the gun barrel, and Connie immediately swung it around and pointed it at the newcomer. When I turned to look at Andreo, I was surprised to see he too was holding a big handgun and was pointing it at Constantino. He held it at arm’s length, his hand perfectly steady, and stared daggers at my brother.

“Andy!” Constantino exclaimed. “Now this is a surprise. My intel was faulty, I didn’t realize you were here playing chaperone. Well, good. Saves me the trouble of tracking you down next.”

Andreo held his gaze steadily as he said, “Nico, get Luca out of here.”

I started to do as he said, but my brother stopped me in my tracks. He’d produced a second, smaller handgun, and turned the weapon with the silencer on us as he trained the nine-millimeter on Andreo. “That’s just not going to happen,” he said. Andreo began to stride toward him, and to my surprise, Connie hesitated. It was the first time he’d shown even the slightest weakness during the entire confrontation.

Andreo stopped when they were an arm’s length apart, the guns pointed directly at each other’s foreheads, just an inch from their intended targets. Tension crackled in the air. Connie lowered the gun with the silencer, all of his attention on Andreo, who told him in a voice of quiet authority, “I’m not going to let you kill my brother, Tino. You’ll have to go through me, and I know you’re not willing to do that.” I realized suddenly that there had to be a history between them. The nickname ‘Andy’ hadn’t just been spur-of-the-moment.

“You overestimate your importance to me, Andy,” my brother said. He was trying to keep his tone light, but a bit of emotion crept in despite himself.

Andreo grinned a little and said, “I really don’t.” He pushed Connie’s handgun out of the way, stepped forward, and kissed him passionately, which startled the hell out of me. My brother grabbed him in an embrace, the weapons in his hands forgotten, and returned the kiss with equal passion, but for only a moment. He then shoved Andreo back and yelled, “You fucking asshole! Do you really think I’m going to let any personal feelings for you get in the way of doing my job?”

Andreo’s tone softened. “If I ever meant anything to you, Tino, then you have to let my brother walk away. You know what he means to me. He’s all I have.”

“Fuck you,” Connie yelled, stepping back from him. “
Fuck you
, Andreo! You’re totally manipulating me right now, you asshole!”

“I’m not manipulating you, I’m begging for my brother’s life.” A wicked grin curled the corner of his mouth, and Andreo added, “Though I do seem to remember you enjoy hearing me beg.”

“God, I hate you,” Connie said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, you don’t. You only wish you did.”

My brother stared at him for a long moment. I held my breath. Finally he said, “I’m giving you one pass, just because I owe you for that time in Belfast. I’ll tell Jerry I got here too late and that you’d already cleared out. He might check, so be gone by morning.”

“Thank you.”

“You won’t get to talk me out of finishing this a second time. I have two names on my list, yours and your brother’s, and I always get the job done. You know that. Make yourself hard to find, Andy, because the next time we’re face to face, this is going to end very differently.” He turned to me and said, “See you at Christmas, Nicky. Don’t bring your boyfriend. It would upset Nana if I had to off him over the eggnog.” With that, he holstered both guns inside his suit jacket and walked away without a second glance.

“So…my brother’s gay,” Luca murmured after a beat.

“Mine too, apparently. Oh, and a freaking assassin.”

“The gay gene is strong in your family.”

“It really is. In yours too, it would seem.”

Luca nodded. Then he said, “By the way, if you ever do that again, I’m going to yell at you for a week.”