All I Want for Christmas (2 page)

“Um, I-I don’t know?” I looked away, hoping the darkness and yellow streetlights would hide my blushing cheeks. “Things that… s-serve?”

He chuckled
. Great.
He either read my mind or noticed the look on my face. “I’m flattered, really, but I am not a hustler. I am a broker. Oliver is a client of mine, but I deal with his money, not his sexual preferences.”

Oh shit! This was the mix-up of the century! What a debacle.
“Oh, man. I am so fuckin’ sorry. I didn’t mean to assume that… oh, shit!” I stammered, feeling like a complete twat. Then Nicholai stepped closer still and my insides seized. His eyes bored into mine and his fingers grazed my chin. I was powerless to look away.

Nicholai licked his lips. “There is no need to apologize,” he whispered, that deep voice of his acting like liquefied magma rolling over my nerve endings and eliciting desires I never knew I had. (Okay, maybe I knew I had them, but my body never reacted to someone like this. It was intense.) “It was a misunderstanding. However, I would not be opposed to having dinner with you.”

It was all I could do to keep myself from leaning forward and kissing his wet lips. “Um, dinner?” I squeaked out.
Stupid girly voice again!

“Yes, tomorrow night. My place. Wear something… comfortable.” He breathed out as he spoke and I could feel his warm breath caress my skin. As if he read my mind again, he closed the space between us. I shut my eyes tightly as his lips touched mine. I shook. Warm, soft lips that tasted like spearmint confidently moved over mine in a way I never experienced in the past.

Kissing girls was different. I was always the aggressor. The man was expected to make the first move, and when I met girls at parties, I’d kiss them whenever I knew I wouldn’t get slapped in return. (Come to think of it, I got slapped a lot.) Girls were soft. Girls were a tease. Girls were to topic of every conversation me and my buddies had. No guy I knew talked about kissing another guy. No fuckin’ way! For years I thought there was something wrong with me for even considering it.

I had a pal in high school who got teased constantly for being gay. Tony Soriano. I liked him. But after seeing the way he got treated, I had my mind dead set on getting with a girl. I didn’t want to go through that. I ignored how I felt though high school and into college and tried to convince myself girls were the right way to go.

But not now.

One touch of Nicholai’s lips and I was positive that this was what I always wanted. It felt so good, so right. His tongue swiped across my lips as he kissed me one last time and pulled away. I almost whimpered. To feel his tongue tease my lips and not have a taste was just wrong.
God, I want to kiss him again.

Then it registered what he said before the kiss. Dinner! “Tomorrow?” I asked weakly.

“Yes. My place. That is, unless you prefer a restaurant.” He slid his fingers over my cheek and I could barely respond.

“Um, tomorrow i-is… Christmas Eve.”

He titled his head to the side. “Oh, I completely forgot. Perhaps another night then, whenever you are not celebrating your Savior’s birth.”

“Mine? No.” I almost laughed, but even my mother would have scowled at that behavior. “I’m Jewish, nominally so at least. My friend Joey’s Catholic. He was gonna try and drag me to Mass tomorrow night like he does every year.”

“I will not keep you. I am sure we can come up with another day to—”

“No!” I had to interrupt. Just the thought of waiting to see him again because I went to church seemed like a sin to me. “It’s okay. I don’t want to go anyway. I’d love to meet you for dinner.” That was the fastest I ever heard myself jump at anything! Here I had just met him, and Nicholai had me turning into butter. Who knew what I’d agree to tomorrow if he tried to take his kiss a little further?

He smiled again. His now familiar half-smile, kind-of like a smirk, which I knew was permanently painted on his lips to hide his teeth and make any recipient eagerly anticipate what he might be thinking or what he might say next, made me tremble. I loved that smile. I wanted to see what other sorts of looks I could garner from this man, and I wanted it to be soon.

“Good. But I will have to warn you: if you whimper like that when I kiss you tomorrow night, I may not be able to stop myself from fucking you into the next morning.”

He kissed me again and turned to walk away. There was loud music and laughing behind me as someone was leaving the bar. I was no longer alone on the sidewalk with Nicholai and I felt disappointed. Angry even.

That tiny peck left me wanting. Not to mention the implications of what tomorrow night’s activities would be. “How will I find you?” I called after him.

He turned to me with that devilish grin. “I slipped my card in your pocket. Call me.”

And with that, he was gone.

Chapter Two

I stared
at the business card in my hands: “Nicholai Markoff, Broker” written in center and his phone number and address, printed below. There was no way I could wait until later today to call. I grabbed my phone.

“Hello.” One word and I was quivering.

“N-Nicholai?” Okay, this stuttering has to go!

“David.” He sounded pleased to hear my voice. “I thought you would sleep longer so you would have energy for this evening.”

My stomach flipped. He had to remind me. “Um, yeah, about that….” How could I explain my trepidation over the phone? I felt like I might throw up right here in Joey’s bed.

“You’re scared. It’s your first sexual experience, and you don’t want to me think any less of you.”

Somehow, his wording my thoughts as a statement rather than a question made me feel defensive. It should have been easier to talk to him if he already knew why I was nervous, but it wasn’t. “Hey! I never said I was a virgin!”
Damn, my voice squeaked again.
No way he would believe I was mad if I couldn’t keep my normal octave from breaking into soprano. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I never said I—”

His deep chuckle stopped my words. I couldn’t be mad when I just loved the way his laughter sounded. “David. Don’t be so self-conscious. Whatever experience you have or lack will not matter with me. As soon as I heard your voice through Oliver’s phone I knew I had to have you.”

“What?” That jumped my heart rate just a little.

“I want you, David. “ His voice was liquid seduction, husky and hushed. “I want to fuck you. I want to taste you. I want to hear you whimper my name when I make you come. And if you’re not ready tonight, that’s fine. I can wait. You will find that I am a very patient man.”

“Me? Why me?” I found myself asking. Just the thought of his words had me stroking my dick through the sheet. Nobody ever said things like that to me before. And I could not deny I was hoping he’d say something like that all along.

“I will explain it when you’re ready to hear it. For now, just come to the address on my card around six. All right?”

“Okay,” I breathed, my hand gripping myself harder. No, the sheet was too bothersome. I kicked it off and slipped my palm inside my waistband.

“And David…” Nicholai paused, and I felt myself hold my breath, stroking harder, waiting to hear the next phrase. “Don’t waste all your lust beating off. I want to taste some of that hot liquid on my tongue.”

“Ahhh,” I whimpered again. I couldn’t help the sticky mess that filled my hand inside my briefs as he said those words.
Oh, God, he knew. He knew what I was doing while I was on the phone with him.
“Nicholai,” my whispered confession got cut off by Joey’s voice outside my door.

“Hey, butthead, you awake yet?” He pounded his fist on the door. “You stole my bed, bitch.” I could hear him shuffle away. The walls were thin and Joey was not a quiet sort of person.

“I gotta go,” I said urgently, and I snapped my phone shut. I hated hanging up on him. It was rude. But Joey finding out what I was doing in his bed was the last thing I wanted to have happen. I pulled my hand free of my underwear and hoped I could make it to the bathroom without Joey noticing.

*  *  *

After
the shower, I found Joey in the living room watching
The Vampire Diaries
.
Vampires. Something I could never really get into. Zombies, yes. Vampires, no.
Luckily he didn’t say a word until after I ate.

“Who the hell’s Nicole?” He blurted out without taking his eyes from the TV screen.

“Nicole? What do you mean?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

“Yeah. I figured you musta hooked up last night, that’s why you never made it to O’Leary’s, and then I heard you in there this morning, saying something about Nicole. You said, ‘Nicole, I… something’. I couldn’t hear you. So, who’s she?”

“Nobody.” I really wanted to get him off the subject.

“Okay. Whatever. How was meeting the creepy phone guy? Was he really a hooker?” He snickered from the couch.

“Shut up.”

“Did he offer you his services?”

I flung my slipper at him. “I said shut up.” I was getting angry. Joey never saw me angry.

“Fuck, dude, I’m just messing with you.” He flipped the channels during the commercials.

“Sorry.” I started to pace. I really didn’t want to talk, but I had to talk. Joey was going to find out eventually since I was not going to Mass tonight with him and Jack. “I’m not going with you tonight.” I came out with it.

He looked up from his program. “What? I haven’t asked you yet, Tradition has
me
asking,
you
saying no,
us
arguing and then
you
coming with me to Mass whether you want to or not. You can’t fuck with tradition by saying no first.”

“I’m saying no. I have a date.” Confession time was going to be painful no matter when it was. Now was as fine as any.

Joey surprised me as he leaped off the couch and landed in front of me in two seconds flat. “A date? What? With who? Nicole?”

Oh, God, I hate to lie to him.
“Yes, Nicole. Dinner at six. Her place.”

“Shit! When were you going to tell me?” He slapped my bare chest with the back of his hand. It stung a little.

“I just told you.”

“Damn. You have a date. Little Davey has a date,” he mocked.

“Fuck you, Joey.” I could not bear to hear more insults. Tyler was by far the worst (or best) at making me feel like a backwards hick with no finesse towards women. “I get plenty of pussy; you guys just aren’t around to witness it.” I shoved him away and walked back into the kitchen.

Joey followed. “David. I’m sorry. I never see you with anybody. It just… I thought maybe you were….” He was waffling. “You know what? I’m glad you have a date, man. Let me know how it goes.”

Joey’s sudden seriousness made me rethink getting mad. He really was an all-right guy. But now was not the time to tell him I was probably gay and going on a date with a guy—the creepy phone guy!

The thought of Nicholai sent a buzz through me. He was definitely
not
creepy. He was amazing. Gorgeous. Mouth-watering. I felt myself getting hard again.

“It’s okay, Joey. I’ll let you know how it goes.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “And if I don’t come home tonight, please don’t call.”

He laughed out loud. “Okay, you got it!”

*  *  *

Six-ish
did not come soon enough. I paced. I showered. I paced some more and then showered again. I was more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Okay, that was my grandma talkin’; she always said corny stuff like that. Point is, I was nervous all day. And in the shower, I more than whimpered Nicholai’s name. I moaned it. My head was resting against the tiles of the shower as I rinsed off for the third time this afternoon. Nicholai warned me to save some for him.
Oh God!
The thought finally sunk in, we were going to have sex.
SHIT! I’ve never had sex before. Not with a guy!
It was gonna hurt.

I had to experiment, at least a little. I reached behind me and ran my finger over my asshole.
I can handle that.
It was like washing my ass. Water streaming over the hole, my fingers sliding over the opening with soapy bubbles. Yeah, that was fine. Then I tentatively pushed one digit in. Tight. One finger wasn’t really that bad, but if his dick was thicker, and gosh, it better be, I was going to have to work a few more in to get myself ready. I soaped up again and tried two. Ouch.
Who the hell does this?

I extracted my fingers and decided to let it go. If he wanted to fuck me, then he’d have to get me ready. Twisting myself like this was ridiculous, and I was going to throw my shoulder out of the socket trying to fuck myself standing in the shower.

I got out, toweled off, and got dressed. If I was early, he’d just have to deal. I was not going to suffer the long wait any more.

Nicholai Markoff, here I come. (And with any luck, more than once.)

*  *  *

Three-ten 85
th
Street
never looked so good. I walked down the sidewalk and looked up at the fading blue sky. It was getting dark. Definitely winter, definitely chilly, but somehow I felt myself humming like it was the first day of spring. My heart felt light and I skipped a few times. And then I remembered I wasn’t a fourteen-year-old girl, and I walked more manly. My hands were in my coat pockets, and my heels were firmly planted with each step. I neared his building and couldn’t breathe. Shit! Maybe I
was
a fourteen-year-old girl.

Nicholai opened the door to his apartment before I knocked.

His appearance took my breath away. This time he was not shadowed in half-light from the streets and bars. He was in full fluorescents, and I could see every detail on his flawless face. Beautifully clear white skin, high cheekbones, and deep-set brown eyes so dark they could be mistaken for black. (But they couldn’t really be black, that would be way too sinister.) And I was right, he was gorgeous. In fact, he was the hottest-looking man I ever saw in real life. Something about his grin reminded me of that show Joey watches:
The Vampire Diaries
. Nicholai had the strong confidence I noticed in one of the characters. But fuck, that was an actor. Nicholai was real. I don’t know why I was thinking about that anyway.