All Light Will Fall (33 page)

I saw the mr2 in the rubble and reached to grab it. I tried
to look at Mother, but it was difficult to see her from the askew angle of my
body.

I stretched a little farther and finally grabbed ahold of
the mr2. Shifting to the left, I angled the weapon beneath the halo-board. The
metal groaned and I kept on, pushing down on the mr2 until the glass ripped
from my side.

I unbound myself, dropping to the ceiling of the craft. I
slid through the glass towards Mother. My fingers trembled as they gently
touched her neck. I sighed in relief. She was alive.

Suddenly I heard voices coming close.

“You think anyone survived?” a female voiced asked.

“Don’t know,” someone replied.

“I say we set fire to it just in case,” another said.

“You know that goes against the captain’s methods. If we
find anyone from the city, we’re supposed to bring them back to base.”

“Yeah, and it’s this merciful way of handling business
that’s killing our chances of winning this war,” another argued.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t matter,” the female huffed. “We found it, and now
we have to report it. I’ll...”

I arched forward all of a sudden, spitting up silver.

“Did you hear that? There’s a survivor. Benny, Clyde, Avery,
get the right side. See if you guys can flip this thing over.”

I reached up, releasing Mother from the chair. She fell and
I caught her. The craft shook as the Defiant rocked it back and forth. Glass
rained from the top of the flyer. I rolled Mother beneath me to shield her in
my arms.

When the craft toppled over, I saw the black of the world
through the blur in my eyes. I saw figures standing tall above us in the smoke
of the Earth. They were faceless it seemed, but still stared down at us, their
weapons aimed at me with Mother half broken in my arms.

“Spa,” I gasped. “Spar-row...”

“What’s she saying?”

I rose from the ground, my legs holding strong. I felt
warmth, the heat of Mother’s blood through her clothes. I held her, like an
angel, against my chest.

“Sparrow seven... seven... seven.”

There is always a moment in life when one questions the
existence of a god. We cannot help but wonder. It is our nature, for we cannot
understand or fully explain ourselves or the truths of the natural world. We
cannot number the galaxies of space or redesign even the most minuscule iota of
our bodies. What is explained is never truly understood. There are too many
questions. Too much mystery. Even knowledge is left unexplained. All we are.
All we know. All that there is and the artwork of our design can never be
known. It is a secret. A secret unknown to the flesh. Only the spirit can know.
But first, it must give in. It must be naked, tossed deep into the fire,
burning alive in the flames of faith.

I have questioned the breath from which that fire first
came. Certainly not by rock, or by water, or wind, or sun, or chance. If not by
the ancient womb of nature, then who? Who could I reproach with my sufferings?
Who would break the shame of my soul and carry my mountain of guilt to the
throne of repentance?

“Would you it be you... God?” I whispered. It was an
unconscious utter, exhaled into the deafness surrounding me. I rolled over on
my side, curling in the sheets. There was a strange scent to them. They smelled
like the earth, like summer grass. It was an old and warming fragrance. I
remembered suddenly, perhaps too vividly, the lavender essence of Niaysia.

I sat up slowly. My wounds had long healed, all but the
sharp ache in my neck. Without halos, the healing was slow and painful. It was
different from before. My body had become too reliable on the added dosages,
and now my natural ability to heal had staggered. Even if I were to attempt
withdrawal, the side effects would be damaging. That’s what I feared most. The
Defiant had zero access to halos. They had no need for it.

If I couldn’t get my hands on halos soon, there would be
blood.

I looked and saw someone beside me lying still on the bed
across the room. I held my breath and a gentle warmth rose in my eyes. I could
hardly move. She couldn’t be real. Even so close and so beautifully before me,
she couldn’t be real. I rose out of bed, moving slowly over to her.

She was frail, but very alive beneath the sheets. Her eyes
fluttered but never opened. They seemed soft as velvet. I wanted to kiss them.
But I was deathly afraid to touch her. As if my touch would break her. Because
she was that near death. So near that I pressed my head to her chest just to be
sure there was still a beating life inside her.

“Mom,” I whispered.

She didn’t stir, but I knew she could sense me. And as I
listened to that precious sound, I thought perhaps I was hearing something
else... perhaps the voice of God in her heart.

I lowered a hand and touched her forehead, then gently
caressed the hollowness of her face. My fingers trembled as they timidly graced
her cheek. I couldn’t describe it. The pain in my hands. The heaviness in my
chest. I felt dead but undead. I felt asleep but with my eyes wide open. I felt
breathless but calm. And then I realized it. This feeling. It was longing. It
was alive, whispering, speaking softly to me in the silence.

Suddenly there were footsteps. I had heard them coming long
before they paused outside the room. The door eased open and I didn’t bother to
look up from my pillow of rest.

“Well look who’s awake.”

The voice had alluringly ripened. A bit hoarse now, but
still so full of youth. I glanced his way. He stood tall in the shadow of the
hall. His eyes were knife-like and fearlessly aimed. Dark brows narrowed over
that dusky gaze, angling in confusion.

“What? Have nothing to say to an old ghost kid, or well, I
suppose you’re not a kid anymore are you... ”

“Gwen,” I whispered, rising to my feet.

At first, he was leery. He paused, one foot through the door
with a disturbed look on his face. Then he grinned and welcomed himself into
the room.

“I hope I didn’t offend you. It’s just... you look...
perfect. It’s damn scary to be honest,” he admitted. “What in the hell did
those bastards do to you?”

I looked away. For some reason, I felt embarrassed. Not that
I should have been. It was only Gwen. But still, I was not ready to share my
sufferings. What ARTIKA had done and what ARTIKA was doing, the world was not
yet ready to hear it.

“You sound like your father,” I told him.

He raised a brow. “So you talked to my pop, huh? How is the
old man? I miss him. Don’t get too much word to him these days, as you can
imagine.”

I didn’t miss the ache in his voice. It had been years since
he’d seen his parents, since he’d seen Ellis. I closed my eyes for a moment,
trying not to think about him. But it was painful, especially with Gwen
standing there all bright and bold in spirit reminding me of what I had lost.

“He’s fine. Your family’s fine.”

Gwen nodded, looking me over. “Can’t say the same about you.
You look busted.”

That was Gwen. He left nothing unsaid and never steered from
the truth. Ellis was like him in that way. But Gwen could never hide the truth,
or his opinions for that matter. He was loud, abrupt, and forceful with his
beliefs. And as I looked at him, he was very much the same. He still had that
playful air about him, that boyish youth that charmed everyone around him. And
by that mischievous shine in his eyes, I could tell that he was just as comedic
and carefree as he was seven years ago.

His brows furrowed suddenly. “Hey, I’m sorry about that,
Corrine. Why don’t we continue our talk outside,” he suggested.

For a moment, I couldn’t bring myself to move. I stared down
at Mother. There were tubes stuck deep in her arms and bandages wound tight all
around her body. Near the foot of the bed, an Ultra-wave Impulsor stood beside
the IV, nursing her back to life.

“Come on. She’ll be fine. I promise,” Gwen assured.

I nodded then followed him into the hall. It was all metal,
a circular infrastructure branching into several different tunnels. Yellow glow
beads lit the dim, spiraling throughout the dark of the hall.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Fifty feet under sea,” Gwen answered. “Welcome to Jordan
Starlight.”

“How long was I asleep?”

Gwen leaned against the wall. He crossed his arms, stroking
the thick of his beard. The dark waves were smoothly trimmed and complimented
the gold, even curves of his lips.

“You were in and out of it for at least four days. Kept
throwing up this weird silver chemical. The craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I
have to give it to you though, you sure know how to take a bullet...”

“And my mother?”

“She woke up once. Not for very long though. She was really
weak.”

I glared at him. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

Gwen shook his head and sighed. “I don’t think you
understand your condition. Our medics had no idea what the hell they were
dealing with. Consider yourself damn lucky that they managed to save you at
all.”

I said nothing in response. Of course I knew. But I had
known death for some time and I wasn’t afraid.

“I am grateful,” I mumbled. “I just really wanted to talk to
her. That’s all.”

Gwen stared at me fiercely like it was the last look he’d
ever see of me. He pushed off the wall and came to me. I watched him, his
footsteps strong and proud as he walked. His shoulders had this rhythmic sway
and his eyes were bright as fire. When he finally reached me, the familiarity
of his scent overwhelmed me. He smelled like war, like gun oil and the rust of
iron. But there was something else... roses. He smelled like roses, fully
bloomed and cut fresh for a funeral.

“Hey, Corrine,” he whispered. “I know this may be a touchy
subject, but I have to know... do you know anything at all about what happened
to my brother?”

His voice was too timid for a man his age, and I was afraid
to hear it. Afraid to tell him the horror that had befallen his brother. His
brother once so bright and beautiful, so rich with valor and youth that even
the grave could not bind him. How could I tell him that the boy we so adored
and so longed to touch had gone, was lost?

“Ellis,” I uttered. My throat ached. “He’s in a very dark
place right now...”

“So he’s alive?” Gwen asked. He was so close I could hear
his heart trembling.

“Yes, but like I said...”

“What do mean? What happened to him?”

He was just like Kailes. He had no mercy, no consideration
at all in his demand for the truth. I looked up at him suddenly and he jerked
back a little. He looked startled, and for a moment, guilty as well. It seemed
he saw something desperate and pleading in my expression. He took a breath and
relaxed against the wall.

I tried to calm myself. Everything was coming back too fast.
The killing. The blood. Ellis and the chamber. My pain and my hatred.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. “Not yet. But I can
show you.”

I slowly raised the left side of my shirt until the fleshy
spiral of skin was naked under his gaze. Gwen stared, a look of horror in his eyes.
He glared at that wicked scar as if it were his own mark of sin. His fingers
twitched, as if hungry to touch it. But they didn’t move at all. They were
afraid that even the sweetest caress would bring me pain. And it would.
Already, I could feel it. The heat. The flesh breaking. The stillness. The
blazing cold.

“Ellis... did that to you?”

I covered the wound. “He’s not the same anymore. His
memories are lost. I tried to save him. I did. But he...”

Gwen reached up and cupped my face. His hands were warm but
calloused by war. He pressed his thumbs to my brows, gently smoothing the
stress that had gathered there.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry too much. One day, one miracle at a
time, yeah?”

I nodded. But his voice was the voice of sorrow.

“Hey, I’m going to tell you something,” he said. His fingers
wandered down my neck, messaging the sore muscle there. “Try not to get too
worked up when I tell you.”

I hardly heard him. I was hypnotized by the lazy motions of
his hands.

“What is it?”

He pressed his forehead against my temple. “We had to save
you using a blood transplant... a particular person’s blood to be specific...”

I clutched his forearms. He flinched, trying to shake free.
My grip was too strong.

“Don’t tell me...”

Gwen slipped free from my grasp. “Yeah,” he confirmed, “your
father’s here...”

I stumbled back and held tight to the wall. His words
couldn’t be true.

“Corrine, hey calm down you’re losing it,” Gwen called.

I looked up at him. His voice was an echo, loud but soft
like in a dream.

“Where?”

Gwen put a hand on my shoulder. “Follow me,” he said.

My steps were so quick I thought I was running. We passed
several others in the halls, but they had no faces, no figures, and no voices.
They were nothing but shadows that moved aside as we rushed through Jordan
Starlight.

My father. Father. Father. Father. The name wouldn’t leave
me. I had wanted to say it for far too long. Just once more.

We passed the mess hall and came to a door just a few paces
down. Two guards, one male and one female, blocked the entrance. They had seen
us coming and sharpened their stance as we approached.

“Open the door,” Gwen ordered.

The male guard looked me over suspiciously. “We can’t do
that, captain. They’re in a meeting.”

“I don’t care if they’re in there reciting prayer, Officer Kent.
I said open the door. That’s an order.”

The woman guard stared at me. “Let them in,” she said.

The man looked at her in surprise. “You’ve lost your mind,
Ruby. But why am I surprised? No matter the situation, you always choose him,
don’t you?”