All Night Long (13 page)

He glanced down at himself, as if unconcerned by his nakedness. ‘So stand in front of me.’

‘They’ll still see your naked arse in the glass.’ That possibility didn’t seem to hurry him up any. ‘Come back to the room with me. Please. I’m sorry I overstepped the mark. Let me apologise by working off some of the tension I’ve caused.’

‘I don’t think I need my mind blowing again.’

She smiled. ‘I was thinking more along the lines of a back rub.’

He actually looked mildly interested, until it seemed to dawn on him that was probably going to create a new level of intimacy between them. ‘I’m not sure I want you to work my kinks out.’

‘You’re joking,’ she scoffed, determined to lighten the mood. ‘I’ve already got those figured. This is purely about me trying to apologise. I promise, no more impertinent questions and no more digging about in your head, just something to help you chill out and go to sleep.’

‘OK,’ he finally agreed, when the tops of the approaching couple’s heads were visible over the banister. ‘I’ll come back to bed.’

Chapter Nine

Ash climbed into bed with Ginny but lay stiffly on his side staring into the darkness, wide awake and unable to settle, long after she’d finished soothing him by pummelling his muscles. Her presence left him too agitated. What Ginny had said had made him uncomfortable. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know he was being used by the groupies that passed through his bed, but he was using them too, and it was all consensual. Everyone got off, even him eventually. Meanwhile, he pleased four or five fans a night, rather than one lucky one. That might not mean a great deal now, but it had seriously boosted their fanbase in the early days.

Actually, if he were truly honest, it wasn’t anything she’d said about the women passing through his bed or why he chose to do it that had bothered him. It was the fact that stating it had highlighted to him just how different the experience he’d had with her was.

Ginny made him come but, more importantly, she made him feel.

He’d blanked out feeling for so long that he’d actually forgotten what it was like. She was turning him inside out.

The sensible thing to do would be to leg it. Prod Spook, run down to the van and have Paul drive them off into the night.

He couldn’t do it, though. He couldn’t make himself get out of bed and leave her side.

Ash closed his eyes only to discover her image burned onto the inside of his eyelids. He blinked his eyes open again, uncertain that he liked her having so much control over his senses. How? What was it about her that made her so different?

He ruled out both her looks and her stockings, convinced that even if he met her in a pitch-dark cave she’d still have ensnared a vital part of him.

Maybe the shit with the band was behind it. Xane taking off like that had shaken the hell out of him, even if he wasn’t vocally admitting that. Didn’t stress tend to make people soft in the head?

She’s just a woman, he told himself.

Except she wasn’t … For no sensible or logical reason, she wasn’t.

Ash rolled over and wrapped himself around her so that they were positioned like spoons. God, it felt good just to hold her and breathe in her fragrance.

He rested his head against her shoulder. Teased her earlobe.

If he let her into his life, would she completely unravel him, or would happiness make him stronger?

If he loved her, what happened if she decided she didn’t love him back? Wasn’t it easier to carry on as he’d always done, fucking without becoming emotionally engaged?

And continue feeling empty,
said his heart
. It sucks and you know it. It’s been years.
Perhaps it was time to be brave, work on giving his mum the daughter-in-law she craved and the babies she hoped would follow.

Ginny wriggled within his embrace. ‘Is that you, Ash?’ she muttered sleepily. ‘You’re squeezing too tight. Making me too hot.’

‘Sorry.’ He released his hold.

‘No, don’t go away entirely.’ She grabbed hold of his arm and wrapped it back around her. ‘Am I forgiven, if you’re holding me?’

‘I was only ever pissed off at myself.’

‘Ah.’

‘Do you mind if I touch you?’ He skimmed his palm over the contours of her body, viscerally aware how desperate he was to make love to her.

‘Sleepy,’ she murmured.

‘You don’t need to move. I’ll take care of everything.’

‘Sure then. Touch away.’

Ash didn’t try to rush anything, instead allowing her to awaken slowly, while he attempted to convey the feelings of heat and hunger she evoked in him, and make her feel them too. When, after what felt like an eternity playing with her nipples and stroking her skin, he finally slipped a hand down between her thighs, he found her more than ready for him.

Ginny mewled softly. Her body liquefied at his touch, convincing him that even tired she wanted him, craved the connection of their bodies as ardently as he did.

Ash snuggled his loins up tight against her rear. He rode his cock back and forth against the groove between her cheeks, but didn’t demand anything.

‘Are you ever going to come inside?’ she asked, when he began shaking from trying to hold back.

‘Only if you’re awake enough to be considered consenting.’ He tugged gently upon her uppermost leg, making a space for himself between her thighs.

‘I don’t think I can pretend I’m asleep any more. Get dressed and I’m all yours.’

‘You know, I’ve never done it bare,’ he whispered. ‘Never ever. I’ve always wondered if it feels different.’

‘It’s smoother, silkier,’ she told him. He felt a stab of jealousy that the opportunity to be her first was denied him. ‘It’s wetter too, especially once the guy’s come. Someone has to sleep in the wet patch.’

He nodded, taking in the description and internalising it. ‘You’ve done it that way, then?’

‘Only with long-term partners, after we’ve both been checked out. And even then I mostly insisted on doing it with. It’s safer. I don’t like nasty surprises.’

Ash mouthed along the edge of her jaw, sought out her lips. ‘I’m confused as hell,’ he confessed. ‘My head’s telling me I should leg it, to save myself from future hurt, but I can’t tear myself away from you.’

‘It’s late, Ash. You’ve had a long day. You’re probably just overtired. I’m sure that in the morning you’ll feel yourself and regret saying any of this to me.’

‘Maybe,’ he confessed, still touching her intimately, ‘Or maybe I’ll just want to do this all over again.’

He stretched an arm out to reach for a condom on the bedside table. He opened the foil with his teeth, then dressed himself one-handed, not prepared to let go of her for even a second. Ash pushed in slowly. There was no need to rush. He only wanted to be bound to her, and to feel connected.

Aw – hell, he was going to rip a hole in his own chest if he didn’t start sobering himself up soon. He wasn’t about to change his ways or commit to a relationship. This lovey stuff was fine for the hours after midnight, but come tomorrow, yes, he’d probably feel like an enormous twit.

‘That feels so good,’ Ginny murmured. ‘Give me your fingers.’ She sucked them into her mouth. ‘I think I’m going to come.’ She did so quietly, arching against him, while her inner muscles fluttered around his cock.

Ash didn’t push himself to try to finish. He relaxed and let himself float towards his release at his own steady pace. When it happened, it wasn’t like any other climax he’d ever had. It was in his head as much as his genitals. He wasn’t even sure if he ejaculated.

‘I did have a relationship once,’ he confided as they lay cuddling afterwards. He felt confident that she’d drifted back to sleep, for her breathing had become deep and even. ‘I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do it again.’

‘Only one?’ she asked, shocking him by revealing she was still awake. ‘How old are you, about twenty-seven?’

‘Twenty-five.’

‘Seems incredible you’ve only had one steady girlfriend. Even I’ve had a few more than that.’ She rolled over to face him, though she didn’t open her eyes, and for that Ash was grateful. Even now, thinking back to his time with Connie etched new lines upon his face. The pain had never faded or lessened. His heart remained as bruised now as the day she’d left him.

No one except Spook knew how badly her rejection had screwed him up. He’d spent six months hooked on depression tablets that rendered him incapable of coherent thought. Only being part of Black Halo had got him through it. The music had given him something to cling to.

‘What happened? How come you broke up?’

Ash wiped a hand across his face, realising the moment she asked that he still wasn’t ready to talk about it. Maybe if he’d had a lot more to drink, like a whole bottle of Scotch and a few dozen beers.

‘Ash?’

‘It wasn’t meant to be,’ he said. ‘Hush.’ He cuddled her to his chest and relaxed on his back with her head against him.
She’s why I can’t let myself fall for you.
Although maybe it was already too late for that, and the fact that he was already admitting to the possibility of it happening meant he was more attached than he ought to be.

Oh, fuck, you’re so screwed, Ash. You’re not going to forget this girl. She’s in your head, beneath your skin.

He closed his eyes, and she also inhabited his dreams.

Chapter Ten

Ginny woke to a loud banging on the door and the realisation that Spook had ordered breakfast. He let the waiter in while she hid under the covers, snuggled tight against Ash’s back, so as not to be seen. She sat up when the waiter had gone. ‘There are only supposed to be two people staying in the room. I hope they don’t fine me,’ she remarked to Spook.

‘They saw us come up here. If there was an issue, they ought to have said so. It’s not worth worrying about.’ She watched him pull on a T-shirt. ‘We’ve had bigger sleepovers in hotel rooms. Just get Ash to deal with it, if there’s a problem. He’s good at sorting stuff like that out.’

Sadly, she could imagine the sort of negotiating Ash did. Things involving under-the-counter dealings and screaming-orgasm sweeteners.

She looked at his sleeping form and shook her head. Ash Gore had to be the biggest player she’d ever met, but the problem was that he didn’t appear to get a whole lot out of it, besides eternal frustration. He confused the hell out of her.

‘I’m not sure I’d want to ask him to do that.’

‘No, I suppose not. Reckon he’d do pretty much whatever you asked though.’

‘What?’

Spook eyed her cagily, his shoulders hunched almost up to his ears. ‘You got him to sleep with you. That’s one for the record books. Normally, once he’s done shagging someone, they’re out the door.’

‘It’s my room,’ she remarked. Ash could hardly have sent her on her way.

‘Yes, but he didn’t have to sleep with you. He could have chosen not to, and normally he would have made that choice. He’d have gone down to the van, or slept in the bath.’

‘Got in with you?’ she suggested.

‘It’s been known,’ he said with a shrug.

‘So are you the guy who’s shagged him?’

‘’Scuse me?’

He seemed so bewildered by the suggestion, she was persuaded that he was telling the truth. ‘But you do know about it and who it was?’ she wondered aloud.

‘Maybe. I’m not saying either way. He doesn’t normally fuck guys, though, if that’s what you’re thinking. His issues aren’t to do with that.’

‘No, that was a woman, right? His former girlfriend.’

Spook’s eyebrows arched up into his hairline. ‘My, we did have a good old natter, didn’t we? Did he actually talk about her? Or did he just warn you off the subject?’

‘Not exactly. It sort of got mentioned in passing.’

‘No –’ Spook continued to look thoughtfully at her, while he scrubbed the soft growth of golden stubble that had grown around his jawline overnight ‘– he never discusses Connie in passing.’

‘That’s her name?’ Ginny asked, jumping on the piece of information and filing it. ‘Did you know her?’

‘No.’

‘How come?’

‘You ask a lot of questions.’

‘It’d be cool if you’d answer a few.’

Spook sighed in a distinctly long-suffering way. He perched on the end of Dani’s bed and folded one leg up so that it stuck out at an angle. ‘It was before he joined the band. I met her maybe once. So, anything you want to know about her, you’ll have to ask him. Why don’t you wake him up and talk while you eat? I ordered the works.’

He lifted up various lids, showing her the food: traditional English breakfast items, in addition to fruits, jams and cheeses, as well as a selection of pastries. ‘Ash’s favourite meal is breakfast. His least favourite subject is Connie. Marrying her with food might get you some answers, or it may get you a plate of eggs in the face. Me, I’m leaving if you’re even thinking about prodding him over his past. I’ll check on Paul. He’s in the van, right?’

He grabbed his jacket and checked himself over in the mirror. Raised his collar and smoothed his hair before returning to the breakfast trolley, snatching a slice of toast and coating it in honey. ‘Later,’ he muttered, heading for the door.

‘Take your time,’ Ginny called after him. The room had to be vacated by eleven but she intended to hold on to Ash until then.

Spook paused on the threshold. ‘I’ll give you an hour. Tell him –’ Spook gestured towards Ash with his half-chewed toast ‘– to be ready. Ash was the last to see Xane, and I reckon he knows where he’s hiding.’

‘I think he’d have said.’

‘An hour.’ Spook closed the door.

Ginny scowled at the wood, no longer so enamoured of Black Halo’s rhythm guitarist. ‘Sure, I’ll be the bearer of bad news – not.’ As if she was going to waste the last hour she had with Ash by having him dwell on the situation with Xane. It was bad enough that it was niggling away in the background, along with the fact that her roomie was still AWOL.

Feeling horribly responsible, Ginny checked her phone for messages. There was still nothing from Dani, and attempting to call her resulted in being passed to voicemail again. Her roommate obviously either had turned her phone off or was currently occupying an area with lousy connection coverage. If she wasn’t back by the time Spook returned to collect Ash, Ginny was going to have to start phoning around their friends and mobilising a search party. Seriously, girl, she cursed, where the fuck are you? You never stay out. I’m the one who pulls that sort of dumb stunt, and even I have the sense to tell people where I am and who I’m with. Plus, you’re so gonna kick yourself if you miss out on meeting these guys.