All of It (16 page)

“That didn’t sound good,” I mutter, afraid to look. I don’t want to ruin this moment, but I feel unexpectedly exposed. I glance over my shoulder to see that the seam has cleanly split from the hem at my upper thigh all the way up to my ribs. My panties are on full display. I know for most people this would be a huge turn-on, but I feel nothing but a wave of distress.

I am an inept sexual being.

“Close your eyes,” I order, scrambling off him. I grab his suit coat off the sofa to cover myself.

“What? What happened?” He props himself up on his elbows.

My face is bright red. I can’t decide if it’s more a result of the torn dress or my reaction to it. “My dress tore.”

He laughs at my embarrassment. “It can’t be that bad, Ronnie. Let me see.”

“Nice try. This dress left little to the imagination to begin with. Let’s just say it leaves
nothing
to the imagination now.”

He crawls over to sofa and kneels in front of me, putting his glasses on in the process. “My imagination is comprehensive, exhaustively so. I have quite a detailed picture in my mind of what you look like under that dress. Let’s see how it stacks up against the real thing.”

“Dimitri, it’s not funny. My mom’s going to kill me. And I can’t stay here like this. What if your mom comes home?”

He stands up and turns his back to me. “Put my coat on and come with me.” His hand is extended behind him in invitation.

I put the coat on. It does seem to cover my suddenly naked left side, and I take his hand. “Where are we going?”

He begins to walk toward the staircase. “To my room.”

I stop dead in my tracks. “Dimitri, I can’t go up to your room. Not like this.”

Expecting his mischievous grin as he turns to face me, I’m comforted with an innocent smile instead. “You can borrow a shirt and some sweats. I know they’ll be big on you, but at least they’ll be warm.”

The blush in my cheeks deepens and I avert my eyes to the floor. “Oh.” I clear my throat, “That sounds good. Thanks.” Incorrect assumptions are so embarrassing.

We walk up two flights of stairs in the dark. “We’re almost there,” he whispers.

He flips on the light and my jaw drops. “
This
is your room?”

I should be over the surprises by now, but the room is huge. It looks like a hotel suite, a really nice hotel suite. The kind someone like me has only seen on TV. There’s a long red leather sofa with tons of pillows. A massive flat screen TV is mounted on the wall across from it and below the TV looks like a stereo and surround sound system. There are bookshelves on the far wall that are crammed full of CDs, movies, books, and magazines. Everything in the room is meticulously organized and clean. Through the double doors next to the bookcase I can see a simple bed, low to the ground and covered in a black silk bedspread.

He smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, this is it. Now let’s find you something to wear.”

I follow him through the double doors into the “bed” room. Dimitri doesn’t turn on the light, but the dim illumination from the adjoining room aids me enough to get a look around. The room is large but sparsely furnished. Apart from the bed there’s only a chair and a huge, colorful painting of a bird, its wings spread, rising out of what look like flames. A phoenix, I think to myself; no doubt he’s painted it. It’s signature Dimitri, dark and sensual. Floor to ceiling red drapes cover the far wall of the room. While Dimitri disappears into a cavernous walk-in closet, I cross the room to look out the window. I pull back the curtain and stand in awe of the view outside the oversized picture window. It’s a clear night. The view from his third story window goes on and on, unobstructed. The moon is full and exceptionally bright, I can see an outline of the mountains in the near distance. “Wow,” I whisper to myself.

Dimitri’s arms wind around my waist from behind and he rests his chin on my shoulder. “Pretty, isn’t it?”

“Mmm, it really is.” I place my hands over his arms at my waist and realize that they’re naked. I turn to face him and he takes my breath away. He must have changed while he was in the closet. He stands before me in only a worn pair of jeans. I flash back to the day in my kitchen when he took off his wet shirt. Dimitri standing in the moonlight is even better. He is lean, but sculpted. Every muscle defined and visible across his stomach, chest and down his arms. His jeans ride low and expose the tops of hip bones.

He retrieves a T-shirt and a pair of sweats from the bed and hands them to me. “These are the smallest clothes I have. I know they’ll be big on you. Sorry. You can change right here if you like … I don’t mind.”

I smile. “Yeah? You don’t mind at all?”

“Not at all.”

“Mmm, tempting. But the thing is I have a strict one striptease per year rule. And unfortunately for you, it seems I prematurely performed it just last week.”

He smiles wryly and raises an eyebrow. “Last week you say?”

I’m enjoying flirting with him. “That’s what I said.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Tragic. Just me alone in my bedroom with not even a single, solitary, horny, perverted, desperate man ready to tuck dollar bills into my barely legal g-string; a complete waste.”

He laughs. “Call me next year. I shall arrive utterly desperate and armed with loads of dollar bills.”

My poker face has vanished and I’m half-laughing. “Awesome, because there’s nothing I hate more than to put on a stellar performance and not be rewarded.”

He’s quiet for a moment and a sincere smile flashes as he shakes his head. “You’re something else, Ronnie … I love being with you.” It’s unexpectedly genuine given our playful banter. He gestures over his shoulder. “You can use my bathroom.”

I wink. “Thanks.”

His bathroom is the size of my bedroom, maybe bigger. Again it looks like something from a movie, all marble and shiny fixtures. I can’t believe real people actually live like this. I change into his clothes and pause to bury my face in the shirt. It smells like him—masculine and clean. It must be his cologne. Or maybe it’s just him. The pants are big, but I cinch up the drawstring and cuff the bottoms. I throw my dress and his jacket unceremoniously over my arm, turn off the light and walk back out into the bedroom. “Dimitri?” I whisper quietly. I don’t know why I’m whispering; we’re the only two people in this gigantic house.

“I’m out here,” he calls from the adjoining room. He’s stretched out on the sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table. And I thank God (I actually say “hallelujah” under my breath) when I see he’s wearing a T-shirt. I’ll be able to focus, and perhaps carry on a semi-intelligent conversation now, instead of just ogling shamelessly at his body for the rest of the night.

“Here’s your coat. Thanks.”

“You can just hang it on the door knob. I need to send it to the cleaners anyway. Let me see your dress. How bad is it?”

I hold up the dress and pull back the ripped seam to expose the damage.

He whistles. “Damn, Ronnie. There’s not much left to it, is there? What are you going to tell your mom?”

“Maybe I’ll tell her we were wrestling.”

He responds with his mischievous grin, “We
were
wrestling … and I think you may have even been winning.”

My cheeks flush at the very recent memory.

He pats the sofa next to him. “Come and sit with me.”

I sit down on the sofa sideways facing him, pulling my feet up and crossing my legs. Effectively restraining myself, it’s not quite as tempting to continue the “wrestling” match if I’m not touching him. He turns sideways as well, pulling his knees up and casually wrapping them in his long arms. He rests his chin on his knees and the innocent, angelic smile that I love so much is there on his lips and beaming from his eyes.

A sense of calm has settled over me, and I notice he’s turned on the stereo and there’s music playing softly in the background. It’s a live, acoustic recording of my favorite band. “I love this CD,” I say smiling in recognition.

“I know. I remember hearing it playing in your car the day we went to your house for lunch. I decided to buy it. I was curious.”

We sit in silence listening to the song play out. All the while he brushes the tip of his index finger along the leading edge of my toes, never taking his eyes off mine. As the song finishes he asks, “What is it about them, the band I mean, that’s so appealing to you? Don’t get me wrong, I like their music too, but why are they your favorite?”

My obsession with this band has not escaped his notice: the stickers on Jezebel’s window and inside my locker, the patch on my bag, the T-shirts, the keychain … it’s a legendary obsession. I listen to music nonstop, but this band is my absolute favorite. “Honestly?”

He nods. “Honestly.”

“Honestly, it’s because the lead singer may possibly be the sexiest man on the planet.”

“Baby, I hate to break this to you, but I think you may have lost your mind. He’s a great singer and a talented guitar player, but I’ve seen photos of him. He’s nothing, if not average. I thought you were into handsome men?” He adds with a smile and a wink.

I roll my eyes. “Commercial beauty and sexiness are not mutually exclusive, Dimitri. I have to admit the first time I saw him I didn’t look twice at him; he was just average, as you put it. But then I listened to his music and fell in love with him. His songs aren’t just songs, he writes
beautiful
stories. I love to write stories myself, and admire anyone that can express themselves through words … or lyrics. He puts every ounce of himself into every song. His love songs aren’t just sappy love songs either. You get the sense that he deeply loves women, or at least the one he wrote the song about—and not just horny, sex-driven love, but respectful, passionate, I-would-walk-through-fire-for-you love. Oh, and as you mentioned, he’s a phenomenal singer and guitar player, too. I guess he probably is only average looking; I don’t see that anymore. When you consider everything else—the whole package—
that’s
what makes him incredibly sexy.”

He tilts his head and rests his cheek on his knees. “Okay, I’m intrigued. What else is sexy?”

“Seriously?

“Seriously.”

“That depends on the person I suppose, but there are a few things that are universal …” I pause.

“And they are?” He’s still curious and patiently waiting. I have his full attention.

I proceed slowly and allow myself time to completely form each thought before speaking. “Number one is confidence—not arrogance, there’s a distinct difference. Talent—especially when it’s allowed to completely develop. Passion—the never-ending, unyielding pursuit of whatever drives and inspires you. Quick wit—a wicked sense of humor is always sexy. Genuine adoration—whether it is a man for a woman, a man for a man, or even a parent for his child—it’s breathtaking when it’s real. Acoustic guitar … beautiful eyes and lips—I’m a sucker for a great smile … oh, and Converse.”

His eyes are full of wonder and contemplation until I complete my last thought and then he laughs. “Converse, as in the shoes?”

“Yes, Converse. Guys look really hot in them.”

I don’t think it sounds so crazy—guys do look really hot in Chuck Taylors—but he’s still eyeing me suspiciously. After he’s convinced I’m serious he nods and concedes with a smile. “I guess I’ll have to buy a pair.”

“Yes, yes you will. No respectable hot guy’s wardrobe is complete without them.” I’m curious now. “Your turn. What’s sexy?”

“Mmm … your list is tough to follow. You’re quite articulate. My list would make me sound like such a typical guy.”

“Dimitri, you’re the most
atypical
guy I’ve ever met. Let’s hear it.”

“The way you look tonight.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed the dress, while it lasted.”

“I wasn’t referring to the dress,” he says as he leans his head back, closes his eyes, and sighs before looking at me again. “Though that particular image will make its way into my dreams for years to come I’m sure.” Then he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a face. “See, I sound like such a guy. I was talking about you sitting here, on
my
sofa, in
my
room, in
my
clothes. It’s even better than the dress. You’re just Ronnie, being Ronnie, and
that
is always sexy. You’re so comfortable in your own skin. You are who you are, no apologies. You were right; confidence is definitely at the top of the list. But I think you forgot a few.”

I smile. “Enlighten me.”

“Attitude—a
positive
attitude. Intelligence … commitment … genuine kindness … brunettes … black, lacy undergarments … and a nice-fitting pair of jeans.”

I laugh. “I was with you up until the jeans. Wait a minute … stand up.”

“What?”

“Stand up,” I order.

He stands reluctantly.

“Lift your shirt and turn around …
slowly
.”

The corner of his mouth turns up into what I’m sure will end as the mischievous grin and he obeys. He lifts his T-shirt with one hand to reveal his perfect abs. His jeans hang loosely just below the top of his protruding hip bones. A thin band of maroon boxer shorts peeks above the waistband of the jeans in the back as he turns slowly. He’s enjoying this. He pauses as he completes the circle facing me again and drops his shirt. He raises an eyebrow. “And?”

It takes every ounce of self-control I possess to keep from leaping off the sofa and tearing his shirt off. Somehow I manage to keep my voice even. “I see your point. Maybe I’ll add the jeans to my list.” I can’t hold back my own roguish smile any longer.

He takes off his glasses and gingerly places them on the coffee table next to him. Momentum brings him forward until he’s leaning into me, his hands resting fully on my upper thighs. He stops when his face is an inch from mine and I inhale abruptly. I look forward to every second his lips are on mine, but this moment feels different. I’m alone with him in an empty house, in his
bedroom
. It’s very late and this evening has already been very romantic: the slow dancing, the dinner, the episode on the rug and the recent conversation. I know what he must be building up to—expecting even—and I need to speak up before I get caught up in the moment, myself.