All of Me (All Series Book 2) (18 page)

“But you can’t say it,” she said, smiling softly.

He chuckled. Why that caused him to laugh, he had no idea, but he couldn’t help himself. “Now’s not the time to say it.”

“You’re probably right. But now is the time for me to say something.”

“What’s that?” he asked, holding his breath. Maybe she would say it first. If she did he would return the words. Maybe it would be easier that way.

“What you did back there, pushing Roger against the wall like that.” She paused when he cringed.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh, don’t be. Because that was a major turn-on. I didn’t think you had it in you. But now that I know you do…”

He let out a half laugh—his heart pounding for another reason. “What are you going to do about it?’

“I guess you’ll have to wait to find out.”

First Time

The next morning, Phil raised himself on one elbow and peered down at Sophia’s sleeping form. On her side, her back to him, her hair laid out across the pillow, she looked so angelic.

Only she was no angel last night. No, they had barely made it through his kitchen door when her hands went to his shirt. Quicker than lightning, she was pushing the buttons through the holes. When she tired of it, she grabbed his shirt and spread it apart, sending the remaining buttons flying.

He had no idea what had come over her, but he wasn’t going to stop her. He didn’t mind. Not one bit. Actually, he was pretty aggressive himself in removing her clothes. Fast, urgent and frantic. They circled each other around the room, pulling and tugging until their last piece of clothing was gone.

Then he lifted her up and placed her on the breakfast table, smothering her shriek with his lips when the cold wood met her heated flesh. He had to touch and taste every part of her, but he didn’t know where to start.

His mouth moved from her lips, to her ears, to her cheek, her neck—anything he could reach. All the while his hands roamed over her breasts, her thighs, pushing her legs apart, and stepping in between them. “Condom. Get a condom out of your pants now,” she demanded.

He didn’t need to be told twice. Stepping back, he looked around the room in a panic—clothes were thrown everywhere. Finally locating his pants by the sink, he quickly grabbed the condom, ripped it open and put it on.

With hurried movements, he returned to the table, pushing her back on her elbows, his hands under her behind, lifting her, fitting her right against him and sliding in quickly. The rushing in his ears was nothing compared to the heat flooding his veins.

It was beyond anything he had ever felt before. He moved his hips forward and back while her nails scratched his neck and shoulders. He couldn’t care less. At that moment, all he cared about was this hot woman on his kitchen table, naked and begging him for more.

He gave it to her. Everything she asked for and then some. He was so close, but refused to end it, not until she was ready. Reaching a hand down between them, he found just the right spot, applied the right amount of pressure and felt her body tense around him.

Her head thrown back, a howl almost ripping from her throat, she exploded, pulling him into the depths with her.

Out of breath, he’d felt like he’d run a marathon…sprinting the whole way. His brain cells weren’t working, and without any control or thought at all, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “Damn, I love you.”

She’d looked shocked, her eyes wide, but then her expression softened. She reached a hand up to his face and said, “Well, damn, I love you, too.”

He couldn’t believe it. He had waited so long to say it, and he then goes and says it in the heat of the moment, just like that. Of all the stupid ways to tell a woman you love her for the first time, right after sex. The smile she gave him was almost humorous, and he wasn’t sure what she meant by it. And was too afraid to ask.

Instead, he awkwardly helped her off the table. They picked up their scattered clothes and made their way to his room for the night, neither of them mentioning love again.

Shaking his head now, he couldn’t believe they’d done that in his kitchen. Never before had he done anything quite like that. Not that he hadn’t wanted to. He just was never with someone before who was that willing.

Ever so lightly, he trailed his knuckles down her spine. She didn’t stir, her breathing didn’t even change.

Smiling fondly, he thought back to the first time he’d ever seen her, outside of Kaitlin’s loft. She was a walking pin-up. Curves in all the right places, dressed to the nines, sophisticated, and sexy—the epitome of a blonde bombshell. But when she opened her mouth, she wasn’t snotty at all, nothing like he would have expected. She was nice and sweet and friendly.

Kaitlin always said Sophia had it all together. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. He never really believed that fully. They’d always danced around each other. Of course he had done the same thing as she did, danced and never made a move.

Then again, he’d never felt he could have anyone like her. She’d always seemed so far out of reach for him. Not his type. Besides, he’d been with someone else then. He wasn’t even supposed to be having those thoughts about her. But he definitely knew he wasn’t
her
type.

Yet she loved him—he knew that now.

Realizing she wasn’t going to wake up, he climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.

***

Sophia waited until she heard the water running and then opened her eyes. She had been awake for most of the night and into the morning.

When the bed moved, and he shifted his body, she felt his stare on her, but pretended to be asleep. It was hard not to flinch or move when he tenderly brushed his fingers down her back, but she managed it.

Last night was beyond incredible. Beyond anything she had ever thought of doing in her life. Out of breath, both of them, panting at the end, it was a complete and utter shock that he
finally
told her he loved her. Only she worried it was more the intimacy of the act they shared rather than the emotion behind the words.

She had all she could do not to cry. Instead, she forced the smile on her face and said the same thing back to him. She wasn’t stupid; she knew he loved her and cared for her, but she didn’t want to hear it after sex. At least not for the first time. That wouldn’t tell her if he truly loved her or was going on his feelings from the moment.

It wasn’t as if a man never said he loved her in bed before. Or that she hadn’t said it back. But she’d never felt what she felt for Phil. She didn’t want to say it for the first time before, during or after sex. She wanted that first time to be special. She wanted him to know that when she said it, it was all of her saying it to all of him. Not words driven on sexual endorphins.

Of course, she should have said it first long before this night. But then again she’d never felt this vulnerable about a man before, and it was still twisting her up inside, making her think irrationally.

It was too late now. She wasn’t about to not return the words to him. She didn’t want to hurt him. It didn’t change the fact that she was disappointed, though. More so in herself for feeling this way, if the truth were known.

She was being ridiculous, she knew that, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. All her life she was told how beautiful she was. That was what men loved about her. Why else would they say it in bed? She didn’t want to be told she was loved because of the way she looked, or the way she acted, especially the way she acted in bed. Not a surface type of love.

Didn’t that reaffirm all her insecurities? Wasn’t that the opposite of what she had been looking for all along in a mate?

She’d pretty much attacked and ripped his clothes off last night. So they have mind-blowing sex on the kitchen table and
then
he says he loves her.

Ugh, she wanted to scream right now. She didn’t think it was possible to feel any more frustrated than when she did the walk of shame the morning after Kaitlin’s wedding. But she thought wrong. She was more frustrated with herself than anything else right now.

She heard the water shut off and figured there was no use pretending to be asleep.

When he opened the bathroom door she was lying on her back, watching him walk out in a pair of loose-fitting athletic shorts. He stopped and stared at her, uncomfortable for a moment, she could see. Then his eyes softened and he made his way closer.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he ran his hand around her jaw and into her hair, then leaned in for a kiss. “I’m sorry about last night.”

Stunned, she looked at him, wondering what he was apologizing for. Was he sorry he said he loved her? Was he sorry that they had sex in the kitchen? “Sorry for what?”

“For saying I love you for the first time after sex.”

She didn’t say a word, just stared at him, unsure of what to even say. It was almost as if he had read her mind this morning, and that was too scary to even consider. “You didn’t want to say it at all?” she asked instead.

He let out a little laugh. “I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to say it. Even I know saying it after sex doesn’t carry a lot of weight.” She nodded her head and held her breath. “I don’t know when the best time to say it is though.”

“I think it’s a moot point right now.”

“True. But I want you to know, I love you. Deeply, more than I ever thought I could love another person.”

Her eyes filled, and she blinked back the tears, then smiled softly at him. “The feeling is mutual.”

“So I didn’t stuff up too badly, then?”

“Not at all.” She pulled him down for a hug. It was progress. And she was touched more than she cared to admit that he knew her well enough to talk about it this morning.

Services

“I’ve got donuts,” Sophia said, holding the box up as she stopped at the receptionist desk days later.

“Great. Why did you bring them in? How can you eat like that and still look the way you do?” Ashley complained.

It drove Sophia insane that people made comments like that. All. The. Time. Almost like they watched everything she did, everything she ate and made judgments. You would think she had a magic wand or something with the number of comments she had gotten on her body and her looks. “It’s not hard. I don’t eat like this often. Very rarely, if you must know.”

“Yeah, I guess. This is the first I’ve seen you with donuts. Sorry about that.” Ashley slanted her eyes and whispered, “Can I ask your secret though?”

Here we go again. “There is no secret, Ashley. I eat healthy. I exercise and I splurge now and again so I don’t feel deprived.”

Ashley’s eyes went wide. “You exercise? Somehow I don’t see you doing that.”

What was wrong with people? Where did these thoughts come from? “Why is that?” she asked, her patience wearing thin, but she kept her smile in place. No need for her staff to judge her any more than they obviously were.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” Ashley said, looking embarrassed over her comment. “I just don’t see you sweating or running or anything like that. You’re always so put together—almost perfect. Images of you sweating don’t seem possible.”

Again, not the first she had heard similar comments. Like she never got dirty in her life. She wasn’t her mother. She wasn’t a pampered doll. “I can assure you my yoga mat sees a lot action. I sweat plenty there. I’m human after all.”

“So you don’t run or anything like that?”

Chuckling, Sophia replied, “Hardly. I’ve never seen the appeal to that.”

“Really, all you do is yoga?” Ashley asked again, looking more curious than judgmental.

“And Pilates. If you haven’t tried it, then you should. It’s all about your body’s muscle strength and endurance.” Sophia felt like she was lecturing a child right now, but if it would help her staff see her as more human and less like a figurehead, then she would take the time and make small talk. Even though she really hated personal conversations like that.

Like anything else in her life, she could adapt and that was what she was doing. “If you want to know a secret, then I’ll tell you this. Find what you like, what you enjoy doing, and then the rest is easy.”

Ashley nodded and a cheery look emerged on her face. “Thanks. I think I will. And I also think I’ll take one of those donuts before anyone else riffles through them.”

“Here you go,” Sophia said, handing the box over. After Ashley took one, Sophia walked them to the little kitchen in the back and put them on the table. Quickly, before anyone else could get their fingers on them, she grabbed the one Boston Cream she’d asked to be placed in the box.

Sitting down at her desk, half her donut eaten, she booted up her laptop. By the time her computer was up and running, and her email in front of her, her donut was gone.

Sifting through the messages—some twenty at a quick glance—she tackled them one by one. Low-hanging fruit, she always told herself. Take the easy ones first, and that was what she did.

Five minutes later she was down to five emails, four from clients, and one name she didn’t recognize—she’d deal with that one last.

Finished with what she needed from her clients, she finally opened the email with the subject titled “Your services.” With her eyes scanning the two sentences, she thought surely it was a joke and had to read it again.
He won’t need your services much longer. My suggested time for a break is almost at an end, and he will be back with me.
What the hell? She read it a third time, then lifted her eyes back to the name and read “L. Clark.”

It wasn’t hard to figure it out. No names listed in the content of the email, but obviously it was from Linda, though she didn’t remember ever hearing her last name before.

Picking up her phone, she hit Phil’s number, and then stopped before she could connect the call. No, she wouldn’t bother him with it. It was just an email. Linda didn’t seem to be getting the message no matter how many times Phil told her.

And she believed Phil. He wouldn’t lie to her about Linda and a short break. But obviously Linda was telling everyone that. Even her brother accused Phil of that a few days ago.

That was another thing, another reason she believed Phil. She’d never known or heard of him ever once losing his temper. Maybe with his brothers, but never furious like he was on Friday night. He was livid, his patience at its end. Whatever had happened between him and Linda, he didn’t seem to be able to break away and he looked plenty sick of it.

She wished she knew what happened between him and Linda but was afraid to ask. It seemed no one knew. At least if Kaitlin did, she was positive Kaitlin would share. Alec might be the only one who had a glimpse into what happened, and Kaitlin had said repeatedly that Alec was clueless, too.

Nothing to do about it, she set her phone down. It was just an email. She wouldn’t let it bother her and she wouldn’t give Linda the satisfaction of replying. Sophia was better than that. It didn’t matter that there had been a twinge of doubt in her mind. She would be stupid not to have felt it right away.

Sophia was only being honest with herself. She and Phil hadn’t been together as a couple for long. Barely two months. It didn’t matter that they’d had that one night together five months ago, because that really didn’t count. Still, she believed Phil loved her, even if she wasn’t sure it was to the level of love she wanted.

If the truth were told, she wondered if her expectations were too high, and was coming to accept she may never find that type of love. Maybe it didn’t exist anywhere but in her mind. But she couldn’t help that she wanted someone to love her for more than her beauty.

Someone to say he loved her when she had the ugly-cry going on that no one had ever witnessed. Or when she was hot and sweaty and dirty from planting flowers in the yard. To have someone say he loved her when she was looking her worst and letting her guard down. That was what she wanted.

***

Hours later, she’d put the email from Linda behind her—along with her thoughts on love—and had dived right into work, when her phone rang on her desk.

Reaching over blindly, never taking her eyes off her screen, she answered, “Yes, Ashley.”

“Ah, there is someone here to see you,” Ashley whispered into the phone.

Why would Ashley be whispering if there was a client up front? “Who is it?”

Ashley cleared her throat and then said, “He says he is your father.”

Great, just what she needed. Another interruption. She should have seen this coming a mile away. Her mother paid a visit, so her father would have to even the score.

Though she loved her father and missed him, she really hated when her parents showed up unannounced like this. It wasn’t like they were just out for a drive and decided to stop in.

Her father lived in Colorado now. He had moved out of California sometime while she was in college. She couldn’t keep track since it was past the point in her life when she would have visitations at his house. Now she only went when the mood struck.

“It’s fine, Ashley, you don’t have to whisper. You can send him right back.”

A minute later Spencer Mansfield stood in her doorway, smiling ear-to-ear. “There’s my girl. Come give your father a hug,” he said happily.

She stood up and made her way toward him, extended her hands and was embraced in a huge hug. Her father always did give the best hugs. “Daddy, what a pleasant surprise.” She shifted back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Let me guess, Mom told you she visited.”

Spencer waved a manicured hand at her and laughed. “You know your mother. She always has to brag. I couldn’t have her showing me up, now could I?” He looked around her office, impressed. “Look at you, all grown up and running your own office. Always my smart girl.”

Her father had never mentioned her work before. He always said he was proud of her, but never in the context of her being smart or successful. Always on how she looked, or how well she was liked. But this was a first, and a feeling of pride burst through. “Thanks, Daddy. I’ve worked hard to get here.”

“I know you have. I’m so proud of you. Your own partnership at thirty years old.” He gave her another hug.

“Let’s keep my age out of this,” she joked.

“There’s nothing wrong with being thirty. You don’t look a day over twenty,” he told her, always one to lay on the charm. That was how he ended up with younger wives all the time.

“No, there is nothing wrong with it. It seems weird to say it.”

Her father walked away and started to look around her office, stepping in and glancing at the framed photos on the walls, then at the picture of her and Kaitlin. “How is Kaitlin doing? Is she enjoying married life?”

“Very much so,” Sophia said with a tender look. “Actually, she’s pregnant. With twins.”

Spencer chuckled and turned away from the pictures. “That didn’t take her long at all. Good for her. I always liked Kaitlin. I bet her parents are thrilled to be grandparents,” he said, looking at her almost…hopeful.

Oh no. Her mother wouldn’t have. She better not have. Last she knew her parents could barely talk to each other on the phone, and had no need to. Unless of course it was to get one-up on the other. “Isabel and William are looking forward to grandchildren. Almost as much as Kaitlin is to being a mother.”

“So, her brothers don’t have any children?” he asked coyly. “There were three older brothers, correct?”

Damn her mother. “Yes, Kaitlin has three older brothers.”

“A set of twins, right? The oldest of the boys. Then another one that was in the Navy.”

“Yes,” she said, hedging. She would be damned if she was going to make it easy for him. He was going to have to come out and ask. And then she would have to find a way to give her mother hell.

Her father took a few more steps closer to her desk and she held her breath as she watched him touch the mouse to her computer and the screensaver pop up with Phil’s smiling face looking back at him. Like he knew it was going to be there. He turned and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Seriously? I didn’t know you and Mom even talked anymore,” she said, disgruntled.

He chuckled. “Not much. But we’ve always talked about you. As much as we’ve fought over the years, you have always been our priority. Even if you didn’t always feel that way.”

She knew that, and it seemed to reiterate what her mother said last month when she visited. “I haven’t been a child in a long time,” she pointed out.

“You will always be my child.” He walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “So, when do I get to meet him?”

“Excuse me?” He
didn’t
just ask to meet Phil. Her father had met very few men she had dated. And he had never
asked
to meet one. “What did Mom tell you about Phil?”

“Nothing much.”

She didn’t believe him. “I doubt that. So spill it,” she ordered him.

He gave her another kiss on the forehead. Her father had always been affectionate as well as charming. She could see now why her mother would have fallen for him. Victoria would have eaten the attention right up. It was too bad that her father lost interest so fast, and everything seemed to be surface to him. “A gentleman never tells.”

She wasn’t buying it. But there was no use arguing. “How long are you in town for?”

“As long as I need to meet him.”

Damn. She definitely needed to make a call to her mother soon. “He’s really busy right now, but I can see what his schedule is like.”

“That’s fine. Just let me know what works. I’ll let you get back to work. I’m going to go check into my hotel.”

“You aren’t going to stay with me?” she asked, surprised.

“Do you really want me staying with you? I was under the assumption that you might not be alone,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

She blushed, not something she did often, but this was her father in front of her talking to her about having a man in her house. “Point taken.”