All of the Voices (6 page)

Carlin glanced away, looking at something off to his side. “I’m not sure if… Okay.” He turned back to Matt. “Give me five minutes to change. Would you like to come in and wait?”

Matt couldn’t repress a shudder any more than he could tamp down the goosebumps that prickled his skin. “I’d prefer to wait here.”

Carlin opened his mouth as if to speak then nodded briskly before heading back to his room. Matt hadn’t missed the speculative look in the man’s eyes and figured he’d have to explain his reticence sooner rather than later.

* * * *

Carlin pulled off his clothes and sprinted into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and put on more deodorant along with subtle cologne he’d ordered from France. He raked his fingers through his hair, giving it a softer, tousled look he hoped Matt would find appealing, then left the bathroom, already visualising his outfit as he walked to his luggage.

Something casual would be best. Matt Nixon didn’t seem to be the kind of man who’d be impressed by designer names. If anything, he’d probably think such things were ALL OF THE VOICES

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pretentious. Usually when Carlin went out looking to get laid, he dressed in shiny, expensive shirts that acted as lures to other like-minded men interested in a one-off.

Is that what he wanted? To get laid?

“Well, why not?” It would push aside the grief and guilt for a few precious hours, and Carlin was reasonably certain he could seduce Matt. The man had looked Carlin over that morning like Carlin was Matt’s most desired fantasy come to life. Just thinking of the heat in Matt’s eyes made Carlin shiver with anticipation.

He found his soft, faded jeans, so old the seams were ragged in places. They were a designer pair, true, but he doubt Matt would notice. They hugged Carlin’s ass perfectly, and if he skipped the briefs, Matt wouldn’t be able to ignore the way Carlin’s cock was outlined by the tight material. Especially not if he didn’t tuck down, though maybe that was too obvious and tacky.

Carlin left his briefs on and dressed in the jeans he’d picked out. A tight burgundy Henley would do for the shirt, although it was long sleeved and he might get hot. Then again, he’d have an excuse to pull off his shirt. Carlin slipped on a pair of loafers then grabbed his wallet and hurried out the door. His dick was already half hard and he didn’t bother to try to hide it, actually rolling his hips just a little as he walked towards Matt’s cruiser.

As he strolled the last few feet to the vehicle, smiling warmly at the admiration in Matt’s eyes, Carlin wondered about the other man’s refusal to come to the motel room. It had slipped his mind in his haste to get ready, but now as he opened the passenger door to get in the vehicle, Carlin wondered about the fear he’d sensed in Matt.

Being attuned to body language was important in Carlin’s job, and he hadn’t missed the tensed muscles or the sweat beading Matt’s brow. Just as he hadn’t missed seeing the man rubbing at his stomach as though to ease a pain.

So, what was it? Fear of what the townspeople would say if Matt was seen entering Carlin’s room? If that were the case, wouldn’t Matt be equally nervous to be seen driving off with him?

A quick check showed Matt to be more relaxed now and Carlin smiled and hummed his approval at the erection tenting Matt’s pants. He wanted to reach out and cup that tempting bulge, but then he’d forget about the question he wanted to ask.

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Matt shifted in his seat as his face turned a ruddy pink. He glanced at Carlin before clearing his throat and turning back to look out the windshield. “You, um, look good out of the suit. Not that the suit was bad, just—just kind of fancier than I’m used to seeing, I guess.”

Carlin thought if his grin got any bigger it was going to split his face. “You’re really cute when you’re embarrassed. Very sexy.” And obviously unused to blatant flirting. Matt sputtered and coughed, his eyes widening as he gawped at Carlin.

“We should probably get going,” Carlin pointed out, because Matt was still staring at him in an adorable slack-jawed way that put all sorts of raunchy thoughts in Carlin’s head.

Namely how good it’d feel to stuff his cock into Matt’s mouth, to see those thin, sensual lips stretched wide around his girth. Carlin closed his eyes and groaned. His erection was throbbing with each beat of his heart and he needed—

“Fuck it.” Carlin pressed the heel of his hand against his groin and hissed. “Drive before I jump you here in the parking lot.”

Matt didn’t argue and soon they were heading out of McKinton. The silence in the vehicle hadn’t been uncomfortable, more like thick with sexual tension. Every time Carlin thought he had his dick under control, an image of Matt’s mouth engulfing that length, or a glance at Matt, would have Carlin’s rod plumping back up. He needed a distraction, and Matt couldn’t possibly be comfortable driving with that huge hard on.

“So tell me why you wouldn’t come to my room.”

* * * *

Matt had known the question was coming, but he’d hoped to put it off a little longer, at least until they reached Mrs. Hawkins’. Then again, talking about it while he was driving might not be a bad idea. He’d have to pay attention, keep his eye out for wild hogs and other critters that might dart in front of the car. So yeah, he could do this.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Carlin said quietly. “I know I was rude when we met, and I am sorry. I can see where you wouldn’t think I was someone you’d want to confide in.”

“It’s not that, but thank you for the apology.” Matt took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, did it again. “About four and a half months ago, I walked into a trap in that motel. Not the same room you’re in, so I didn’t think I’d have a problem, you know, going in your room.

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But I couldn’t even…” Matt cringed, knowing there was no way to finish that sentence where he wouldn’t come off sounding like the world’s biggest wuss.

“What kind of trap? Something to do with your job, or was there a naked woman waiting in there trying to get in your pants?”

Matt wished he could look at Carlin, see what the man’s expression could tell him.

Probably better that he couldn’t. “No, it wasn’t a woman. We were working a case. This sick fuck had been stalking Sheriff Stenley back when Stenley was a Houston PD detective.

Tortured and killed his lover, and everyone thought it was a random thing. Stenley and Conner—that was his lover’s name—were both in the closet, so no one had any reason to think someone might really have been after Stenley.”

Now Matt glanced at Carlin long enough to catch his shocked expression. “That poor man. And Conner, oh my God. I can’t imagine. No wonder Sheriff Stenley is so…so stoic most of the time.”

“Yeah,” Matt agreed as he focussed his attention back on the drive. “Might be, but I think he’s always been the strong, silent type. Anyway, he left Houston and came out here.

He’d been here a few years when Severo popped up out of the blue.” Matt chuckled as he thought about the early days of Stenley and Severo’s relationship. Severo had quickly wrapped Stenley around his pinky, and Stenley had loved every minute of it.

“And then the guy who killed Conner found Stenley again?”

“Well, it’s more complicated than that, but to get down to brass tacks, Stenley’s former partner at HPD, Rich Montoya, came to McKinton and, uh, I kind of felt—thought, maybe…”

Matt shook his head.

“But I was wrong. James McAlister, another HPD detective, was the sick bastard who’d killed Conner, all because McAlister wanted Stenley. McAlister showed up here and abducted Rich. I got worried when Rich didn’t answer his cell, or the motel phone, and I went charging in when I should have called for backup. Ended up face to face with McAlister while he shoved a knife into my gut. And, uh, that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to go into another one of those motel rooms.”

Carlin didn’t speak so Matt finished the rest of the story. “McAlister left me there, bleeding out on the floor. Told me to call Stenley and tell him to come to Stenley’s house alone or McAlister would finish the job he’d started on Rich. Stenley went, and a few minutes ALL OF THE VOICES

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later, Zeke, Brendan and Severo showed up loaded for bear. McAlister had three bullets in him—any one of them would have been fatal. So that was the end of McAlister.”

“And Rich? What happened to him?”

Matt pulled into the drive and wondered at the odd note in Carlin’s voice. “Rich was fucked up. McAlister had a thing for knifes, and he’d had Rich for hours. Doctors didn’t even think Rich would make it, and they were almost right. He died twice in the hospital. Took the staff a while to bring him back the last time, so there were some concerns about brain damage. I figured he didn’t have any when he told me to get my ass out of his room ‘cause he couldn’t stand the sight of me. He got better, then he left. That’s all I know.”

“He hurt you,” Carlin muttered. “Maybe he was out of it still, or he—”

“No,” Matt bit out, cutting Carlin and the engine off at the same time. “That wasn’t all he said, and he and I hadn’t…we hadn’t done anything. Guess the sparks coming off us when we were together really were from our personalities clashing. I thought it meant something else.” But he’d been wrong, and after having spent several sleepless nights at Rich’s bedside, his head and heart aching for the man only to be so thoroughly rejected, that had shaken every bit of Matt’s confidence. It had also made him doubt his blooming attraction for men, period, or at least his judgement in choosing a man.

“You’ve never been with a man, have you?”

Carlin’s perceptiveness shouldn’t have surprised Matt, but it did, enough so that Matt didn’t have time to answer any way other than with blunt honesty.

“No. I wondered, but there wasn’t anyone, any man, who interested me. I’d had sex with women, found it enjoyable but not… It didn’t rock my world, you know? I just figured I wasn’t a sexual person. Happens, or so I’ve heard.”

“And Rich changed that? Lit you up and left you hard every time you were around him?”

Matt thought about it for a minute. “Not to that extreme, but I was interested. I thought there could be more, but obviously I was wrong.”

“I still think he must have been brain damaged,” Carlin said. “He’d have to be to turn you down. You’ve never done anything with a man at all?”

Matt wanted to say he hadn’t, but he was pretty sure his cheeks were flaming, and Carlin would know, the perceptive little shit, if he lied. “Did stuff when I was a kid, jerking off with another boy. Did the same with a guy I used to work with, even sucked him off a ALL OF THE VOICES

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couple of times.” And it still pissed him off that he’d been such a fool. “Fucker quit when it came out Stenley was gay. Said he wouldn’t work for or with queers.”

“Oh.” Matt looked at Carlin as the blond unbuckled his seatbelt. “He was one of
those
.

Closeted and hating everyone else brave enough to come out because he was too scared to do it himself. Those are the worst ones. I’m sorry he happened to you,” Carlin whispered, then Matt’s seatbelt was unbuckled and he suddenly found himself straddled by a very sexy attorney. Matt’s heart fluttered in his chest, his breathing stuttering as he looked in Carlin’s eyes, then down to his plump lips.

“You ever kissed a man, Matt?” Carlin asked, his breath ghosting over Matt’s lips.

Matt grunted as he watched the pink tip of Carlin’s tongue dart out to slick Carlin’s bottom lip. He couldn’t bear to look and see if there was pity in Carlin’s eyes.

“Put your hands right here.” Carlin took Matt’s hands and guided them to the small of his back. “Feel free to reach lower and grab at any time.”

Carlin linked his hands together behind Matt’s head and Matt had a second to panic, to wonder if he was going to fall for the wrong man again, then Carlin’s sweet lips were on his.

Matt groaned as he sank his tongue into Carlin’s mouth, twining his tongue with Carlin’s. He couldn’t help but pull the smaller man closer, bringing their chests together, and grinding Carlin’s ass onto his groin.

He wasn’t aware of moving his hands, but the denim clad globes he was cupping fit his palms perfectly. Matt squeezed the taut flesh and was rewarded with a whimper from Carlin which Matt swallowed and claimed. Carlin wriggled against him, and Matt dimly realised Carlin was thrusting against him, shoving his hard dick against Matt’s stomach.

This wasn’t an act of sympathy or pity, not with the way Carlin was all over him, his sharp teeth nipping at Matt’s lips, his hands sliding from Matt’s neck to his shoulders then back up again. Carlin wanted him, was even now trying to get closer as if he wanted to melt into Matt.

The knowledge incinerated Matt. He quit thinking and lost himself in the other man, drinking in Carlin’s moans and whimpers, the feel of the man’s ass in his hands, the scent of wood and citrus, and under it, soap and sweat. Carlin shoved his hand between them and fumbled with Matt’s belt and Matt didn’t want to stop him, wanted whatever Carlin would give him.

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“You never had a man suck you off,” Carlin whispered against Matt’s lips. “That’s a shame, but I’m going to fix it right now. Give you a better blowjob than Rich or Deputy Dumb Shit ever could have.”

Carlin sat up and opened the door as Matt tried to keep from coming then and there.

“Yes, please.” God, but he wanted to see those full lips stretched around his dick, if he could just hold on long enough to do it.

Carlin got out of the cruiser and tugged at Matt’s arm. “You want to stand up or lean back towards the passenger seat with your legs out here?”

Matt shifted around in the seat even as he finished unbuckling his belt. There was no way he’d be able to stand up right now, not when he was trembling with need and anticipation.

Carlin smiled and reached for Matt’s waistband. Matt propped himself on his elbows and moaned when Carlin unfastened his pants. In short order Matt was lifting his hips so Carlin could pull Matt’s cock free, then Carlin knelt and ran his thumb over Matt’s leaking slit.