All of You (22 page)

Lincoln leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I
put her number in your phone. She’ll be waiting for you to call. I
want you sleeping in my bed. I want you to sleep in and get a good
amount of rest. You need it. Okay? Don’t worry about anything.”

My emotions welled up. He made me feel
completely cherished; I had never felt that before. I sat up
farther and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
“I’ll miss you,” I said softly.

His arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me
tightly against himself. “Princess…I’ll miss you too. The last
thing I want to do right now is walk out that door.” He pushed me
down onto the bed and covered my body with his.

He moved his arms up and propped himself up
to look down at me. “I’m counting the hours until I get to see you
again,” he said, and he kissed me deeply until the passion between
us got to be too much. He pulled his lips away from mine and looked
down at me. I could see the desire in his eyes. He took a deep
breath and sighed. “I’ll see you later, baby.” He kissed me once
more briefly and crawled off me. I felt such sadness at seeing him
walk away from me, but as he got to the bedroom door, he turned and
winked at me causing me to smile big before he left.

I rolled over in bed, closed my eyes, and
tried to relax. Lincoln’s kiss had gotten me all worked up and
excited. I didn’t think I be able to go back to sleep. I pushed my
thighs together to relieve the ache between them. I wanted him back
in bed and naked. Suddenly I was excited to talk to my therapist. I
wanted to get over my fear of rejection and self-doubt. I wanted to
be strong and sexy and confident, and I wanted Lincoln to make me
feel good.

~~~~~~~~

I woke up a while later and looked for the
clock. The bedroom was full of sunlight, and I saw that it was much
later than I thought I would sleep. Maybe Lincoln was right; I did
need a good night’s sleep. I crawled out of Lincoln’s bed and
stretched with a smile. I padded out to the kitchen in my bare feet
and saw Lincoln had left my cell phone lying on the counter next to
a note and a key.

“
Princess, help yourself to anything in
the fridge or cupboards. Feel free to take a shower if you want.
Call Kennedy for a ride. Lock the door when you leave and keep the
key. It’s yours. Text me when you wake up, please. X—Linc”

I picked up the key and smiled to myself. I
checked my phone and saw I had a text from Rebecca asking if I was
all right. I had texted her last night informing her I would not be
home until this morning, but morning was almost over and Rebecca
knew Lincoln had an away game this afternoon. I quickly typed out a
reply to my sister to let her know I was fine and I’d be home
soon.

I pondered what to send Lincoln before
giggling and skipping back into the bedroom, phone in hand. I
crawled back into bed and took a selfie lying in his bed and sent
it to him saying,
“Wish you were here.”
Then I called
Kennedy, and after a bit of awkwardness I agreed to let her pick me
up in an hour. I quickly showered in Lincoln’s massive bathroom. He
had set a towel and washcloth out for me next to where I had placed
my folded clothes from yesterday, and my heart swelled when I saw
his consideration.

I got dressed in what I was wearing
yesterday, minus my panties. I didn’t feel clean putting on panties
I had worn for a day already, so I decided to go commando until I
could get home and get some fresh ones. I found a comb and
attempted to detangle my hair. It smelled like Lincoln’s soap. I
loved it.

I returned to the bedroom and made the bed. I
was about to go find something to eat when an idea occurred to me.
I pulled back the covers I had just made and laid my pink panties
near the top of the bed in the middle next to Lincoln’s pillow.
Pulling the covers back up and straightening the bed, I made sure
the panties were covered. I felt giddy. He would get a surprise
when he crawled into bed tonight.

~~~~~~~~

I sat in a cushy massaging chair. One foot
was soaking in warm water while the other was being buffed and
polished by a peppy redhead sitting on a stool in front of me. To
my right, Kennedy was sitting in an identical chair and having
cherry-red polish applied to her toenails. After Kennedy picked me
up from Lincoln’s house, she insisted on taking me to a spa and
salon for pedicures. I had never been to a spa this fancy before,
and I had to admit—having your feet pampered was a great way to
spend the day.

“Mm… this was a great idea,” I told Kennedy
as I closed my eyes and laid my head back.

“Mm-hmm. My brother does have some great
ideas sometimes,” Kennedy responded as she took a sip of her
complimentary cappuccino.

I looked at her with confusion. “Your
brother?”

Kennedy turned her head toward me. “Yeah,
Linc set this up. Said I was supposed to make sure you got
pampered.” She smiled at me shrewdly. “So did you want a manicure,
too? Massage? Body wrap? Just say the word, and we’ll get it.”

I was once again overcome by Lincoln’s level
of concern and consideration for me. I shook my head in disbelief.
“That man!” I said and dug my phone out of my purse. I took a
picture of Kennedy’s feet and mine and sent it to Lincoln with a
heart symbol. He hadn’t replied to my text from this morning, but I
could only imagine how busy he must be on game day.

Kennedy pulled her car up to the curb in
front of my house. “Did you have fun?”

I smiled and nodded looking down at my
fingernails. Kennedy had convinced me to get a manicure as well as
the pedicure. “I did. Did you?”

“Of course! We’ll have to do it again,” she
replied enthusiastically.

“Oh, I don’t want you to feel obligated to
babysit me because Lincoln told you to.” I felt guilty Kennedy had
spent the majority of the afternoon with me.

“I don’t think that! I enjoyed it,” she said
with alarm. I smiled and nodded. Years of not having anyone want to
spend time with me other than my family still made me doubt. “Okay,
well, you have a nice evening, and I’ll see you Friday night!”

“You will?” I asked with confusion.

“Yeah! It’s Lincoln’s birthday. Didn’t he
tell you?”

“No. He didn’t,” I said, feeling slightly
rejected. Why had he not told me about his birthday? Maybe he
didn’t want me there.

“He probably forgot to mention it. We just
planned it yesterday,” Kennedy said, clearly able to see my
unease.

Lincoln and I had been together for most of
the evening yesterday, and he hadn’t mentioned it.

“Well, he has an early evening home game on
Friday and then we’re having a small group of people over at his
place. I’m sure he’ll tell you about it the next time you talk to
him. You should bring your sister. It’s going to be fun!”

“Can I bring anything or help with
something?” I asked, even though Lincoln had yet to invite me.

“Oh, no, no. Carter and I are taking care of
the food and drinks. We’ll get a cake. It’s all good.”

“You sure?” I asked again.

“You just make sure your butt is there.”

I smiled shyly. “Thanks again for today,
Kennedy,” I told her as I got out of her car and walked to the
house, checking my phone. He simply forgot to tell me about the
party, I told myself. It’s not a big deal. But unease still crept
into my mind, and it would stay there until Lincoln explained.

~~~~~~~~

It was late Monday evening before I got a
chance to talk to Lincoln. We had exchanged a few texts during the
day, but he hadn’t mentioned his birthday. I tried to pretend it
wasn’t bothering me.

“What’s the matter? You sound… distant,”
Lincoln asked after we had been talking awhile.

“Mm…I just miss you,” I said, trying to hide
my distress over his birthday plans.

“I miss you too, but I don’t think that’s
it.”

I hesitated. I was reluctant to ask why he
hadn't mention his birthday, but I knew if we were going to have
any sort of relationship I needed to be honest with him. That’s
what he had asked of me.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday?”
I said quietly into the phone. I hated sounding so needy.

“I hadn’t had a chance,” Lincoln replied
simply. When I didn’t say anything in reply he figured out I needed
a better answer than that. “Kenny planned it on Saturday. I just
wanted to enjoy being with you Saturday night, so I didn’t mention
it then, and this is the first I’ve talked to you since then.” He
sounded so blasé about it.

“So you do want me there?” I asked with
anxiety and doubt.

“Of course! Of course, I want you there. How
could you think any different?” Lincoln asked sounding slightly
angry.

I remained silent.

“Did you call your therapist today?” he asked
when I didn’t reply.

His question made me feel small and meek.
“You make it sound like I’m a raving lunatic or something when you
say it like that.”

“You are a lunatic if you think I don’t want
you here.” he answered, and I rolled my eyes.

“I made an appointment for next Tuesday at
four thirty.”

“Good. Text me the address?” he asked, and I
agreed. “By the way,” he added, “I love what you left in my bed.”
His voice was suddenly serious and intense.

My sour mood quickly dissipated, and I smiled
big into the phone. “I don’t know what you mean,” I teased. I
wasn’t used to flirting, so I covered my embarrassment with
humor.

“Jillian… don’t tease. Not when we’re talking
about your panties. They smelled so good, just like you. I can’t
wait to find out how you taste.” He was serious. I couldn’t believe
he had just said that. “I wish you were here now. I would lay you
back on my bed and kiss you everywhere.” My jaw dropped open, and I
couldn’t reply. “I would lick you and taste you until you came
against my mouth. I would make you feel so good, Jillian. Just like
you make me feel good.”

I just about dropped the phone. Words like
this didn’t exist in my world. He brought out feelings I had never
experienced. I closed my eyes and tried to quell my stirring
emotions. I wanted that. I wanted him. I REALLY wanted him.

“Lincoln…I…” I started to say, but he
interrupted me.

“It’s okay, Jillian. We’ll wait until you are
ready. But you don’t have to be afraid, Princess. I’ll never leave
you,” Lincoln promised me.

I was overwhelmed. Lincoln had gone from
talking about my panties to telling me he would never leave me. He
couldn’t possibly believe he would never leave me. It was too soon
to be declaring himself like that.

For as much as I enjoyed being with Lincoln,
I also knew there was a reality we were going to have to eventually
face. And I knew it was a reality that could drive us apart.

“Trust me,” he whispered to me through the
phone.

“Lincoln,” I started before pausing to clear
my throat. “I want to. I want to trust you. And it’s not that I
don’t trust you, I just…” I paused again, not sure how to finish my
sentence. I did trust Lincoln, but not enough to show him my scars.
Not yet.

“What is it, baby? What can I do?” Lincoln
asked, practically begging me for an answer.

“There’s nothing you can do, Lincoln. I have
to figure this out myself. And I will, somehow.”

He seemed to accept that. “Can I see you
tomorrow?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” It was ridiculous how
much I missed him already. I heard Lincoln sigh with relief and we
made plans for the next day. I crawled into bed, still on the
phone. “Thank you again for the spa day with your sister. I loved
it.” His care and concern for me made me want to tell him I loved
him, but I knew it was too soon for that.

“You deserve it. I’m glad you had a good
time. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” he replied, and I smiled
as emotion bubbled up inside me.

“Me neither. I’ll miss you until then.”

“I’ll miss you too, Princess. So much. But
until then, me and your panties will just have to have fun without
you,” he said scandalously, and I giggled.

We said good-bye and I lay in bed with a
smile on my face and love in my heart. I had trouble believing
Lincoln could have this depth of emotion for me. That was the main
reason why, despite his care and concern and desire for me, I
wasn’t sure I could trust him. How could he feel this way for me
already? My feelings for him were overwhelming; perhaps that was
how he was feeling too. Was it so hard to believe that he could
feel the same way for me?

I reached for my phone and opened my
messaging app. I had saved every text we had sent each other, and I
read through them all. Every text I had received from him was
filled with tenderness and concern. Just thinking about how much
Lincoln seemed to care for me was deeply arousing.

Despite how handsome and muscular he was,
which I did enjoy, it was his personality and affection for me that
I found to be the biggest turn-on. He knew just what to say to turn
my bad mood around and he seemed to be able to make me laugh no
matter what we were talking about. I wanted to have faith that he
wouldn’t leave me, even once he saw my scars. He told me we would
take it slow. I took comfort in that and snuggled farther into bed
and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Sixteen

Lincoln was leaning against my car when I
left work the next day. I saw him from across the parking lot and
tried to stop myself from running into his arms, but failed
miserably. I collided against him, and we hugged and then kissed
for a long moment before breaking apart. Lincoln stared down at me
and pushed some hair back from my face.

“You were supposed to meet me at my house,” I
said, not the least bit upset he had changed plans. He had a big
goofy grin on his face that made me smile even bigger.