All That Lies Within (36 page)

“Does she know about the Letterman thing?”

There was a hitch in Rebecca’s stride as they walked toward the airport exit. “No.”

She said it so quietly, Dara had to strain to hear her.

“Dara, I meant what I said back then. I never told a soul. Not even my best friend. And I never would. Even if we don’t end up working out, I would never say a word. I hope you know that by now and trust it.”

Dara smoothed her hand down Rebecca’s arm. “I do. I’m sorry. That was a stupid, thoughtless question.”

“It’s fine.”

But Dara could tell that it wasn’t. “I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Rebecca said. “Natalie is good people and I haven’t said a word about our status. We haven’t discussed how you want to handle people knowing about your sexuality, or us, and I would never presume to speak for you or violate your privacy. As far as Natalie knows, we’ve just bonded and you volunteered to come help out a friend.”

“Hey.” Dara pulled them to a stop. “I’m really sorry. I trust you with my life and with my heart. If I could, I’d shout I love you from the rooftops for everyone to hear.” Dara was cognizant of people pulling out their cell phones to snap pictures of her. She dropped her hand and lowered her voice. “Right now, that’s not in either of our best interests.”

“I’m okay with it, Dara.” Rebecca started walking again and Dara followed. “I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.”

“Are you out at school?”

“Yes. I was very upfront about my sexuality before the college hired me. I wanted them to know what they were getting.”

“You’re far braver than I am.”

“I’m in a far lower profile position than you are. And yes, I see that people are gawking at you and taking your picture. Do you want me to move farther away?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Well, here we go.” Rebecca waved to someone as they emerged outside of security. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself, big shot.”

“As if.” Rebecca turned to Dara. “Dara Thomas, this is my BFF, Natalie. Natalie, meet my new West Coast BFF, Dara.”

Natalie mimed being shot in the heart. “I’m so easily replaced. That totally sucks. On the other hand, it’s incredibly cool.” She shook Dara’s hand. “Thank you for taking good care of my friend. Rebecca’s special.”

“I know that.” Dara tried to keep any hint of intimacy and love out of her voice.

“And besides,” Natalie said as she clapped Rebecca on the arm, “it’s only for a few months, right?”

Dara’s knees wobbled momentarily and she very nearly stumbled.
Oh, God, please let this be forever. I don’t know how I could go back to living without Rebecca.

“What happened at the faculty meeting this morning?” Rebecca asked. Dara was heartened that she changed the topic, deliberately ignoring Natalie’s comment. 

“Your distance learning experiment was the talk of the town. Everybody’s buzzing about what a breakthrough it is for the college. Of course, Alistar is taking full credit for it.”

“Of course.”

“Seriously, this is big. And your sitting in on the class the other morning blew up all over social media on campus,” Natalie said to Dara. “That was major.”

“The kids were cute and asked intelligent questions,” Dara said.

They spent the rest of the nearly hour-long drive from Burlington to Middlebury chatting amiably about nothing of consequence. It was obvious to Dara that Rebecca had warned Natalie not to pester her with a lot of questions about Hollywood or her personal life.
Remind me to kiss you later. As if I wasn’t going to do that anyway.

“Here we are,” Natalie said, as she pulled into a driveway.

“Wow. This is gorgeous.” And Dara meant it. The shrubbery and flowers were vibrant and lush, the rolling lawn was perfectly cut, and a wrap-around porch surrounded the house. A couple of Adirondack chairs situated side by side near the front door rounded out the perfection.

“Thanks. It’s home.” Rebecca leaned over and kissed Natalie on the cheek. “Thanks for coming to get us.”

“You’re welcome. Miss you. Don’t be a stranger and think about my invitation to dinner tonight.”

“We’ll consider it. Honestly, there’s so little time and so much to pack. I’ll let you know.”

“It was very nice to meet you, Natalie. Thanks for the ride,” Dara said as she got out of the car.

“Are you kidding? The pleasure was all mine. If I don’t see you again, good luck with the movie, though I know you won’t need it.”

“And that’s as close to a fan girl as you’re allowed to get, my friend,” Rebecca said, as she tugged on Dara’s arm, closed the car door, and stepped back.

“C’mon,” Rebecca said, as Natalie drove away. “If we stay out here, the neighbors are going to get a helluva show.” She unlocked the front door and let them inside.

“Okay. I’ll let you have your way this once,” Dara teased. “But after that we’re getting to work. The faster we get you packed up, the more time we have to…explore.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Exactly.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Rebecca rolled over and gently pulled Dara to her, kissing her shoulder.

Dara stirred. “What time is it?”

“Shh. Go back to sleep. It’s the middle of the night.” She stroked Dara’s silky hair.
How is it possible that three months could fly by so quickly? I’m not ready.

Dara leaned up on one elbow and ran her fingers along Rebecca’s collarbone. “Why are you up?”

“No reason.” Rebecca’s voice broke.

“Sweetheart? What is it?” Dara turned to face her fully. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Really.”

“This doesn’t feel like nothing.” Dara put a hand over Rebecca’s heart. “Talk to me.”

Rebecca kissed her softly. “After today…” She cleared her throat. “After today, everything changes. When the movie wraps at the end of the day, my work here is done. They’re sending me home.” She could barely say the last word.

Dara sat up against the headboard and fluffed a pillow behind her back. She beckoned for Rebecca to join her and Rebecca settled into the crook of her arm. “If you want this as badly as I do, we’ll make it work.”

“I want this,” Rebecca indicated their entwined bodies, “and you, more than anything in the world.”

“Then we’ll be fine.” Dara ran a palm up and down Rebecca’s arm.

Rebecca wanted to muster up the same confidence Dara had, but old insecurities crept in. “You’ll be here finishing up the voice-overs on the picture and I’ll be back in Vermont teaching the next batch of students all about Constance Darrow.”

“We have Skype and there’s this nifty little invention called the airplane. Maybe you’ve heard of it?” Dara kissed her on the forehead.

“I’ve heard vague rumbles about a piece of metal that could fly like a bird.”

“I’m here to tell you it can. And I’ll be testing out the technology as often as I can.”

“Will you now?”

“You know I will.” Dara nibbled on Rebecca’s lower lip and pulled it into her mouth.

As always happened, Rebecca was instantly wet and ready. “You unravel me.”

“I love you, Rebecca.”

Rebecca’s heart soared. “I love you, Dara.”

The lovemaking was slow and sweet. The poignancy of it filled Rebecca to overflowing.

“I’ve got a five-thirty makeup call.” Dara said eventually, her thigh still pressed against Rebecca’s center.

“I know.”

“Why don’t you go back to sleep, babe? You don’t have to be on set until eight thirty and there’s no class today.”

“Nah-ah. The bed’s not the same without you in it.” Rebecca slid down and ran her tongue around Dara’s swollen clit.

“Oh.” Dara’s hand found the back of Rebecca’s head and held her firmly in place.

Rebecca reveled in the taste and smell of her and the delicious sounds Dara made—sounds that resonated throughout her being and took up residence in her heart.
Please, God, let me always have this in my life. Let me always have Dara in my life.

“What’s next for you, Celeste?”

Dara smiled wanly at Sam, who was doing a masterful job of infusing Harold’s words and expressions with just the right combination of sadness and pride.

It was the last scene in the book and the movie. When Dara wrote it, she meant it to represent a divergence of paths, the two characters having learned the life lessons they were intended to learn from each other and now ready to let go of each other and their pasts and move on.

The original version of the movie script failed to capture the essence of the scene. But Rebecca—Rebecca’s version was sensitive, deeply moving, and perfect.

Dara summoned up the tears the scene called for. It wasn’t hard, as they’d been near the surface all day. As much as Dara had put a positive face on it, today was heart wrenching for her. For the first time in her career, she wanted to bring someone to the wrap party. She wanted to tell the world how in love she was with the most extraordinary woman in the world. But she couldn’t do it and not just because outing herself was bad business.

If she confirmed that she and Rebecca were an item, it would raise questions about whether Rebecca slanted the script to benefit Dara in any way, and whether Dara had pushed for Cal’s firing in order to promote Rebecca. Dara wasn’t willing to allow Rebecca’s integrity to come into question. 

I love you, Rebecca. I wish with all my heart I could tell the world that my heart belongs to you.
The tears spilled over for real. “I’m not sure, Harold. I wish I could see that far ahead. The only thing I can say for certain is that, wherever I go, I’ll carry you and our friendship in my heart.” Dara leaned forward and kissed Sam on the cheek. “You changed my life. You taught me what it means to care about something larger than myself, and I’ll never forget that. Goodbye, my friend, and Godspeed.”

“Goodbye, Celeste. Wherever your journey takes you, know that you made a real difference in this old man’s life and I’ll be forever grateful.” Sam raised his hand slowly and held it up in a weak wave as Dara’s Celeste rose from the same park bench where Celeste and Harold first met and walked away into the distance.

When Dara had taken about ten steps, George called out, “Cut! Print it, and that’s a wrap everybody!”

The set erupted in applause. Dara took a moment to compose herself. Her hands were shaking.

“Are you okay?” Sam came alongside her and put an arm around her shoulder.

“I am if you are.” Dara sniffed.

“It’s been a true pleasure working with you these past few months. You’re a consummate pro, Dara. I hope we get the opportunity again.”

“Likewise, Sam.” She kissed him on the cheek.

“See you at the party?”

“You bet.” She wiped away a tear. Thank God the last scene involved deep emotion. Otherwise, she wasn’t sure how she would’ve gotten through it.

Dara stood on her tiptoes, searching, seeking for Rebecca in the crowd. Before she could find her, more people crowded around her. George gave her a warm hug.

“That was great stuff. Great work. I can’t wait to direct you again.”

“Thank you, George. I look forward to it.”

“Nice going, Dara. It was a pleasure to work with you.”

“Thank you, Audrey. You too.” With a sinking feeling, Dara conceded that finding the one face, the one person she most wanted to see in all the chaos, would have to wait.

Dara was besieged with well-wishers. Rebecca was so proud of her. It was a bravura performance; one she hoped very much would win Dara an Oscar. If only she could tell her so. Instead, Rebecca shoved her hands in her pockets and walked off the soundstage and out into the fading sunlight of a Hollywood evening.

“Rebecca! Rebecca, wait!”

Rebecca turned to see Sam hustling toward her.

“I’m so glad I caught you.”

“Congratulations, Sam. You were masterful.”

“Thank you, my dear. The point is and the reason I’m chasing you down like a dirty old man, which I am not for the record, is to tell you that none of it would’ve been possible without you.”

Rebecca blushed. “That’s awfully kind of you to say.”

“I’m not blowing smoke here. I read Darrow’s book. I loved it. It’s why I signed on in the first place, before I even saw the treatment. Then I saw the script, and although I was dismayed, I hoped the material was better than it looked on paper. It wasn’t. At least not until you came in and brought Darrow’s book into it. Now, we’ve made a movie I believe we all should be very, very proud of. And you’re a big part of that.”