All That the Heart Desires (32 page)

I stood up out of courtesy and offered him my hand but he hugged me instead. I was watching Harry, as I didn’t quite know what to think.

“I hope your friend feels better?” he asked me and sat beside me on the sofa. I was still looking at Harry but he shook his head. I knew he hadn’t told Daniel the real reason why I’d left. This must be the excuse he had given.

“Yes, she does,” I slowly replied, dragging the words out of my mouth.

“She?” he asked with surprise. I nodded.

“Yes. Anne-Marie is…” I answered but I was watching my brother. He took the contract from his table and joined us on the other side of the office. He turned one of the armchairs to face us and sat down.

I knew Daniel Crest wanted to ask more questions but, luckily for me, Irene entered the office with a tray of coffee. I was so glad that she did, and at the same time angry with Harry that he had left me in the dark.

Irene hadn’t even managed to close the door behind her before Harry offered Daniel one of the contracts. He took it.

“Is everything as we agreed?” Daniel asked Harry.

“This is the printed version of what you have already approved, but by all means … read it.”

Daniel leaned back on the sofa.

“Don’t get me wrong, but I will.”

“I don’t expect anything less.”

I drank my cup of coffee, stood up and went to the large window. The silence in the office was broken only by the rustling of turning pages.

Several minutes later, Daniel Crest put the file containing the contract down. I was watching the men in the reflection of the glass.

“It’s just like you said,” said Daniel.

My brother nodded.

“Shall we sign it?”

Daniel took a pen out of his suit pocket and flipped the pages again, until he found the last one. The pen had almost touched the paper when Harry spoke.

“Everything is written as I said, but not everything is agreed.”

Turning around, I saw Crest lift his gaze from the contract and the pen he was holding to sign it. Both men were watching each other until Crest spoke again.

“You haven’t told her.”

It was more a statement than a question. Harry shook his head.

“That’s your job. We agreed on that.” Crest sighed and looked at me. He motioned for me to sit down beside him on the sofa and I was not sure if doing that would be the sane thing to do. The cup in my hand was empty.

They were both waiting for me to come closer. I had no option, so I joined them again. I refilled my cup with coffee and sat back down.

“Will someone finally tell me what kind of role you have in mind for me?”

Both men exchanged looks again and sighed almost at the same time.

That Friday, I returned to Nice. September was coming and Paris was not my favourite place in the autumn. I needed the Mediterranean sun and I knew it was waiting for me on the coast.

I had not yet left Paris when my phone rang. I didn’t check who was calling but instead I just barked into the phone.

“Sign that damn thing. I’ll do what you two asked me to do.” Without saying goodbye, I threw the phone back into my handbag and drove without making stopping along the way. I was in Nice by the evening, catching the setting sun. Strangely, it felt almost like coming home. Almost.

The next morning the sound of movement inside the house woke me. Coming downstairs, I saw Anne-Marie had already prepared breakfast and was waiting on the back terrace. She hugged me, as we hadn’t seen each other for a long time.

She chatted and filled me in on what was happening with her life. The divorce proceedings were almost at an end and she was actually blossoming. I just couldn’t believe the change I saw in her and felt great happiness for her.

I let her speak until I finished eating and, afterwards, she took the dishes, threw me a kiss and shouted over her shoulder as she left.

“I’m coming back in the afternoon. Philippe is coming to get the boys for the next week.”

She smiled at me when she reached the corner.

“Then I’ll listen to your news as patiently as you did mine.” And she was gone.

Before she came back, Harry called twice, but I didn’t answer. I needed peace to think things through. I wasn’t sure why they’d decided that all the documents between the men would be printed and carried from one side to another. I had been chosen as a ‘delivery boy;’ the ‘go-between.’

When the phone rang for the third time, I answered.

“This is important, Desiree,” Harry started without a greeting. All I could do was sigh.

“Yes, you told me, but I still don’t understand. We have e-mails and a number of courier companies who could deliver the papers. Why me?”

“Because you need something to do.”

“But…” I started. He interrupted me.

“We both know you won’t return to the
Jasmine
.” It was true. “All you will have to do is to deliver some papers to Crest and back to me – or the other way around. That’s all.”

“Why? Have you thought about the costs? E-mails are free. You can send a courier wherever Crest travels,” I said. There was silence on the other end. Harry had no answer.

“Don’t worry about that aspect of the business. I have a feeling…” The line was broken. I looked at the screen—the battery was empty.

Staying in Nice for the next two weeks was somewhat relaxing. August came to an end and the Belgium Grand Prix Race at Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps was something worth watching, even though it was Belgium. That weekend it was raining there again. It was almost the same every year. The Grand Prix in Belgium without the rain was something almost unimaginable for me.

The race itself was intense. There was unexpected overtaking, some minor crashes, withdrawals because of tyres and car failures. It was a very interesting two hours spent in front of the television. The only thing that didn’t change was Lorcan’s success. He was in his element again.

Anne-Marie left me alone that last August Sunday afternoon, but she was on my back porch as soon as the press conference was over. She took me for a walk on the beach without giving me the opportunity of complaining or refusing her offer.

I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I let her speak. The boys were with their father again before school started and she had almost all the time in the world. The dogs were running around us and we threw them sticks.

Finally, she spoke.

“Your story was in the newspapers.” I remained silent. She knew the truth, that’s why she wasn’t surprised.

I threw the stick for the dogs a couple more times before finally asking, “When?”

“Before you came back.” She replied. I nodded. Harry had warned me it would be in all the newspapers, but it looked like he had managed to hide all of them from me. And I was just so overwhelmed those days after coming back to Paris that I forgot about it.

“I know,” I finally said. “Harry told me they found out who I am and what skeletons I’m hiding in my closet.”

She was surprised to see me so calm.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “You don’t mind?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I picked up another stick one of the dogs had brought back and threw it as far as I could.

“I said my goodbye to Iain, Anne-Marie. I need to…” I was left without words. Actually I didn’t know what I needed. She understood.

“So that was the balloon thing then?” she asked.

I looked at her with surprise.

“You released a balloon in Paris,” she explained.

“How do you know about it?”

She smiled.

“It was in the papers the day after the story about your past.”

I nodded in silence.

“They didn’t say what that was about.” She put her arm through mine and we continued walking. Barking dogs and crying seagulls were all that accompanied us along the beach. She didn’t disturb my peace anymore.

Another week passed and I helped Anne-Marie in the last days before her boys needed to go back to school. It looked like she’d decided to involve me in as many activities as possible. It was fun and I enjoyed it.

Michelle and Lucille visited me several times. We spent some lovely afternoons together. I’d told them what they needed to know. Of course they had read about it in the newspapers. I confirmed that it was true and told them that the
Jasmine
was now completely dependent on them, as I had no intention of going back. If there were any problems, then Harry was in Paris, as always.

I didn’t dare to set foot in Monaco. Several times I had a feeling that I was being watched but I had no proof. Deep down I wanted to see Lorcan at my door, but I knew I must have disappointed him, just as I’d told him I would. A child? The lies? Who on Earth would take that?

There were still some articles about the House of Dame and me, but as I had made no comment on anything, the press soon forgot about me and found new items that interested them more. Lorcan was photographed with another ‘paddock bimbo’. No one commented, not even Harry.

School started and the weather on the Azure Coast was still the same. We were able to wear our shorts and short sleeved tee shirts. The weather didn’t change so much as in Paris or other cities I knew and had visited in my past.

Anne-Marie didn’t come that morning to see me as she had so much to do with getting the boys back into a routine and I was alone on the porch, sitting on my swing seat, reading a book. I almost fell off it when my mobile rang.

It had been a long time since I’d received a phone call during the day. Harry usually rang me in the evenings just to give me some up-dates regarding the business he’d established with the Crest Racing team. I managed to balance myself before hitting the ground. Looking at the screen, there was Harry’s face.

“Hello Harry,” I answered.

“I need you back in Paris.”

“Not again?” I said, but he hung up.

I called him back, but he didn’t answer. Our agreement was obviously broken. I looked at my watch and it was close to noon. I decided to wait for Anne-Marie: I owed her that much. I couldn’t just leave again without telling her.

It was late evening when I finally got into my car. I said farewell to all seven of them. The boys were hugging me and the dogs were jumping all around me. I had a hard time getting into my car.

“I’ll call you,” Anne-Marie said. “Don’t fell asleep.” I smiled.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve driven to Paris during the night.”

“Be careful that it’s not the last. Please.”

“I will be. Don’t worry.”

Finally, I managed to drive out of the driveway and sometime afterwards out of Nice too.