All The Little Moments (37 page)

Anna’s thumb brushed Lane’s cheek, fingers running through the softness of Lane’s hair, lips hovering over Lane’s before leaning forward to press one soft, final kiss on
her lips.

And then she turned and opened the door, walking away before she couldn’t.

“Where’s Lane?”

A light flicked on in the kitchen, and Anna blinked at
the brightness.

Her mother stood eying her from the
kitchen doorway.

Anna tried to surreptitiously slip the packet of cigarettes into her back pocket. She pulled closed the door that led to the
back porch.

“I, uh—”Anna avoided her
mother’s eye.

“You what,
Anna Foster?”

“I broke up
with her.”

There was a beat of silence that actually had Anna
feeling afraid.

“You what?” Sandra’s voice was
like ice.

Sighing, Anna looked anywhere but at her mother. “I broke up
with her.”

“You what!” Her voice was now more like an
angry storm.

“Mum,
calm down.”

“I will
 
not
 
calm down! Anna Foster, you sit your ass down
right now.”

Anna, eyes wide, sat at the kitchen table and looked up at her mother, feeling about five
years old.

“You
 
ended 
it
with Lane?”

“Yes, but—”

“The first person to make you smile after Ja…
after everything?”

“Yes, but—”

“The only distraction you had from the major sacrifices you
were making?”

“Yes, but—”

“The woman the
kids
 
adore?
”

“Yes, but—”

“The woman who’s been patient and who put up with all the crap that’s come with
dating you?”

“Crap? But—”

“You’re letting that crazy old
woman win!”

Anna went to open her mouth and then closed it. That hadn’t occurred
to her.

Her mother crossed her arms in front of herself and glared at Anna, one eyebrow raised. Anna felt like she was looking into a mirror. As she pondered those words, she practically deflated in
her chair.

“I didn’t do this easily, Mum.” The mirthless laugh lay stuck in her throat. “Believe me, it was
not easy.”

Sandra kept her arms crossed,
not moving.

“Mum! Stop it! I need to make sure I get those kids back, and this was one way it felt like I could help
that happen.”

Sandra finally spoke. “That’s a load
of crap.”

“It’s not!”

Sighing, Sandra slid into a chair opposite Anna, resting a hand on her wrist. “God, honey.” Her voice was suddenly soft, understanding. “I can see why you thought this would be a solution. And I have no idea how you brought yourself to end it with Lane.” She shook her head. “I really don’t. But no judge is going to expect you to keep yourself single. Lane is someone any child would be lucky to have in
their lives.”

Dropping her head on the table, Anna sighed. “Mum, please, you are
not helping.”

“Good. Because you need Lane to help get you through this. And
 
when
 
you get those kids back, they’re going to want Lane here, too. God, Ella doesn’t shut up
about her.”

Sitting up, Anna clenched her jaw, frustrated. “But, the
hearing, if—”

“The judge will already know you’re dating someone. Whether or not you’ve ended it now isn’t going to make a hell of a lot
of difference.”

“It will. It could show I’m focused on Ella
and Toby.”

“You
 
are
 
already focused on them, Anna.” Sandra gave a sigh that made it sound like she was incredibly hard done by. “There are going to be so many people testifying to that. Don’t you think it’s going to look amazing to a judge that,
 
even
 
though
you’ve started a new relationship, every single person will be testifying that you have constantly put the kids first? That you have prioritised them again and again over yourself and your relationship
with Lane?”

Anna had nothing to say
to that.

Sandra shook her head. “Oh, honey. You can be so
useless sometimes.”

“Thanks, Mum.”

“Well, it’s
very true.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

The bathroom was the last
place Anna expected Kym to corner her with a coffee, and certainly not with a look so fierce Anna was almost too scared to accept it. She slowly reached out her hand and took the cup, and they stood appraising each other for
a minute.

Kym didn’t even offer her a tight smile; she only spoke quickly, as if to stop Anna from interrupting. “Okay. I need to
say something.”

“Kym—”

“
No
. I do. Because you’re being
an idiot.”

An indignant, “hey” was all she managed to get out before Kym raised
a hand.

“You are. I get it that I don’t know the legal system, but you can’t end such a good thing because
of this.”

“I
had to.”

Kym’s stern look remained. “Yeah, but
you didn’t.”

“Kym, I—”

“No. Lane is too damn respectful for her own good and won’t say any of this, so
I will.”

“Kym—”

“I said
shush
! Well, I didn’t. But I meant that. You didn’t need to end this. I’ve been good the past two days; I let it be because, well, no offense, Anna, but you looked
like shit.”

Anna opened her mouth, but Kym ploughed on. “I’ve stewed on this all night, and I need to say it.” She grabbed Anna’s shoulder with her free hand and stared her straight in the eye. “You are an idiot. You’ve got something special with Lane. Cathy is the evil one here, and no court will keep you from the kids just because you have a girlfriend! Everyone will testify that you are one hundred per cent focussed on those kids, even to the detriment of
your relationship.”

They stared at each other a minute as Kym’s hand buried itself into her lab
coat pocket.

Anna pursed her lips. “Mum pointed this out to me last
night, too.”

“I’ve always liked that woman. I’m sure she was nicer about it than
I’m being.”

Anna shook her head. “Actually, no, she was meaner. She may have, um, pointed out that I can
be useless.”

Kym shrugged. “Good. Our words
getting through?”

Anna gave her back her
own shrug.

“You know, Anna, if it’s any help at all, everyone can see how you would call it wrong here. You were thinking of
the kids.”

“I
 
have
 
to think
of them.”

“I know.”

The coffee cup shook in her hand, and she realised her fingers were trembling. “What if Lane won’t
forgive me?”

Kym rolled her eyes.
“She will.”

“She
might not.”

“Shut
up, Anna.”

They blinked at
each other.

“Do we need
to hug?”

Anna shook
her head.

“Good.”

Kym rocked on her heels for a moment, the silence suddenly almost awkward. “So. Good—I’ll be off then. You, uh, you think about what I
just said.”

Kym exited the bathroom, leaving Anna leaning against the sink. The silence pressed in on her as her mother’s and Kym’s words echoed in
her ears.

Everything was so very messed up, and she just wanted her biggest problem to be Lane staying overnight and how to prepare Ella, and, if Anna was being honest with herself, how to prepare Lane for what was in store with two children. She actually missed
that
hesitancy,
that
worry. She wanted to be worrying about what to cook for dinner for the kids and to be thinking about work and to miss her brother and sister-in-law. She wanted to be allowed to grieve, because it sometimes felt she’d not had the
chance to.

Everything had already been a mess, and now it was just
a catastrophe.

And now her mother
 
and
 
Kym were saying things that left Anna speechless. What if they
were right?

Gnawing her lip, Anna checked the time. It was nine a.m., and she had to be at the lawyer’s at ten; she’d cleared it with
McDermott already.

She’d considered going to Ella’s school, just to see if she was there and, if she was, to catch a glimpse of her heading in—to see if she looked well, if she was smiling, talking. But no, she couldn’t. The lawyer had warned her not to go against child services rules, that it could—would—mess
everything up.

Play by the book, and maybe, just maybe, Anna would come out of this
on top.

She could call Lorna and find out if the paperwork was completed for her, or at least Sandra, to see the kids. A knot twisted in her stomach, and Anna felt nauseated. God, what if they didn’t let her
see them?

Walking down the final hallway towards the building’s exit, she pulled her phone out, dialling Lorna’s number. But the sight of Lane turning around the corner up ahead slowed
her down.

Lane looked up from the chart in her hand, eyes widening when she saw Anna, and stopped dead in the middle of
the hallway.

With her eyes glued on Lane’s, her heart racing and the phone ringing repetitively in her ear, Anna opened her mouth to say something, anything, when Lorna finally answered on the
other end.

“This is Lorna, how can
I help?”

She and Lane kept staring at each other as Anna’s legs continued to carry her
inexorably forward.

“Hello?”

“Uh—Lorna. Hi, it’s
Anna Foster.”

Her eyes stayed on Lane as she walked past her. She needed to get to the lawyer’s office, yet, everything in her wanted to turn around and
stop Lane.

“Anna, hi, I thought you’d
call early.”

Anna swallowed heavily. “Yeah, sorry, I just—I need to know, can I see them? Tell me
I can.”

Nausea played in her stomach. Anna tried to ignore it and focus on what Lorna was going to say. She
breathed deeply.

There was silence on
the phone.

“Lorna?”

Lorna sighed.
 
“
I am really, genuinely sorry, but I couldn’t get you cleared to see the kids before
the trial.”

Anna refused to let it hit her, refused to stop in her tracks. Instead, she sped up, walking faster towards
her car.

“There’s really
no way?”

“I’m sorry, no. If things don’t go your way at the trial and you don’t get them back into temporary custody, we’ll be able to sort something
out then.”

Anna forced her key into the car and opened the door, climbing in and slamming it shut, leaning forward to rest her forehead on the steering wheel,
eyes closed.

“That’s if the reason I don’t get them isn’t that they find me guilty and I’m in court for neglect of my niece
and nephew.”

Lorna’s silence answered
that one.

“Can my mother see them,
at least?”

“Yes. That’s the silver lining, I got it cleared for her to go. She can see them this afternoon at four. I’ll call her with
the details.”

A breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding burst out. “Good.
That’s good.”

“It is good.” Lorna paused. “I really am sorry. I just want you to know that I did everything
I could.”

Anna’s eyes welled up under her closed lids. “I really appreciate that, Lorna. I’m sorry, I’ve got to get to
the lawyer’s.”

“I’ll call your mother and arrange things with her. Take care of yourself, Anna. I’ll see
you Friday.”

The steering wheel was digging into her forehead. “I’ll see
you then.”

The thought of the trial filled her with dread, but she sat up straight, refusing to let the tears that had formed fall. So many things were whirling around her head. She started the car and pulled out of the lot, heading for
Scott’s office.

Her mind was a mess—the kids, the trial, not getting to see them, Cathy, her accusations. If she got them back, she’d still have the custody trial. If she didn’t, she’d still have the custody trial with much more diminished chances of getting the kids permanently. Or she’d be in jail. If she didn’t get them, who knew how long until the system cleared her to
see them.

It had been four days, and already Anna was going out of her mind without them.

And then, of course, there was Lane. What if her mother and Kym were right? That she’d panicked and called it wrong. Thinking that was like torture. Could she really have Lane back? Could she really have Lane and maybe, come Friday,
the kids?

It almost seemed too much to
hope for.

That’s if Lane would even take her back. Would Lane understand that it hadn’t been Anna abandoning Lane, but her refusing to abandon the kids? That she hadn’t wanted to do it but that she had been filled with fear and panic and done the only thing possible that had felt
like action?

She pulled up to Scott’s office and thought she was going to be ill with the stress sitting like a rock in her stomach. When she made it up to the reception desk, Anna realized that, for some reason, she had expected a young, sleek woman to be Scott Matthews’ secretary. Instead, a woman in her late sixties who looked like she could be Anna’s grandmother greeted her with a
friendly smile.

“Hello, dear, can I
help you?’

Anna felt like crawling onto her lap and being hugged. She blinked and tried to snap herself out of it. “Uh, yes. I’m Anna Foster. I have
an appointment?”

“Yes, he’s expecting you, dear. Take a seat, and Mr Matthews won’t be
a minute.”

Anna sat down on one of the squishy chairs that made the waiting room look more like a study than an office. The receptionist peered over
her desk.

“Can I get you anything, love? Some water? A nice cup
of tea?”

“No, thank
you anyway.”

“Sing out if you change your mind. Cup of tea can do wonders.”
She winked.

Anna smiled, and the woman went back to her computer, typing far faster than Anna would have expected. Anna’s own mother still sent her dodgy text messages that had been wrongly autocorrected and asked her regularly why her Facebook kept lighting up with red things on the top right
hand corner.

Anna looked down at her phone, surprised to see she had two missed calls, one from her mother and the other from Hayley. Pressing the button for her voicemail, Anna heard her mother’s
voice first.

“Anna honey. I just had Lorna call me. I can’t help but feel she’s on our side. That Cathy woman is going down. That’s what you say, isn’t it? It’s not that she’s going off? Though she is off, off her damn rocker. Anyway, she said she’s spoken to you. I’m seeing them
at four.”

Anna could hear the relief in her
mother’s voice.

“Call me to give me any messages you want for them. I-I’m so sorry that you couldn’t come, sweetie. But we’ll get this mess sorted on Friday. Call me back; that’s
an order.”

It sounded like her mother was about to hang up, and Anna went to press the button for the next message when suddenly Sandra’s voice came back on, much fiercer, making
her jump
.

“Are you back with Lane yet? You better be,
young lady.”

Anna gritted her teeth and pressed for the next message, her whole body tensing as Hayley’s voice came over
the speaker.

“Hey, it’s me. Just checking in, to see if you’ve had any news. Hope Scott’s looking after you; he really is a genius in the courtroom. Um—call me, if you need anything. I was thinking, if you needed some support, I could come down for a night or two. I know what you’re like when you’re stressed. Let me know, anyway…even if it’s just for a night.
Take care.”

Anna hung up her phone and glared at it.
I know what you’re like when you’re stressed.
The tone of her voice hadn’t left a lot to the imagination about what Hayley had
been offering.

Anna leant back in her chair. Her head hurt. There was just too much
going on.

She almost gave a derisive snort: Hayley had broken up with her because of the kids and, now that the kids were out of the picture for a night or two, she was offering to pop in for a quickie. The whole thing made Anna feel irrationally angry.

“Anna?”

Her head snapped up to see Scott Matthews
standing there.

“Good morning. Did you want to
come through?”

The meeting with Scott didn’t leave Anna feeling much better. He went over the witnesses he had gathered to speak at the trial, as well as those who had given written testimonies. Speaking on the day would be Sandra, Andrew—Anna’s eyebrows had risen at that; what would he have to say? He lived in his whisky bottle—McDermott, Tanya from the day care
and Lane.