Allegiant (18 page)

Garrett takes a seat, pretending to be
inconvenienced, then turns to me with kind eyes. “It does get
pretty lonely, doesn’t it?”

I nod. Sometimes I forget that he’s all
alone too, on top of becoming mortal. “Is it hard?” I ask.
“Becoming human?”

He pauses, thinking. “Not physically, no. I
think mentally, wrapping your mind around the things you’re giving
up and the things you have to relearn, is the hardest part.”

My cell goes off, and I
pull it from my pocket. “Sorry,” I apologize. I see Shel has sent
another picture and the message reads
And
I love him why?
The picture is of Matt, who
has decided to put drink stirs up his nose. I laugh and then show
Garrett the picture. “This is why you chose to become human again,
isn’t it?”

He chuckles. “For sure.”

I take another look at Matt and shake my
head, then lower the phone. “So why did you decide to do it?” I
ask, intrigued.

“
That’s simple,” he says.
“For a chance to live the life that was taken from me.”

I frown. “But will it be the same
without…her?”

“
There’s more to being
human than being in love,” he says without hesitation. “But no, it
won’t be the same. She can never be replaced.” He pauses. “Maybe I
will find love again. Get married and have a family. Or maybe I
won’t. But that’s the point. I have a second chance. I can make
this life whatever I want it to be.”

His ruminations make me smile.

“
Do you want to know what
I’ve missed the most?” he asks.

“
What?”

“
The taste of food.” He
grins. “Physically touching and actually feeling. Sleeping again.
There’s something to be said for the satisfied feeling of a full
stomach and good night’s rest.”

I agree. “Those are good things. I think I
would add taking hot showers to the list, too.”

“
Yes!” His eyes light up.
“And changing clothes! Although, I’m not too fond of doing
laundry.” He makes a face. “I’m not very good at it. First I had to
figure out the washing machine and which soap to use, and now I’m
wearing pink underwear due to someone’s misplaced red
sock.”

The image of Garrett in pale pink tightie
whities nearly makes me lose the soup in my mouth through my nose.
It hurts trying to contain my laughter, and I grab my sides.

Garrett pretends to be
offended. “It’s not
that
funny.”

My cell interrupts us again, and I manage to
swallow, blinking away the tears from my hysterics. I look at the
screen and another picture from Shel is waiting. I open it and
immediately crash from my laughter high. It’s a clearer image of
Teagan. How do I know it’s her? Because I’ve seen her before. She’s
the same girl in the framed photo that I saw on Dane’s side table,
the one I saw after the incident with Mrs. Davis last summer. The
same picture of him with his arm draped around a beautiful girl, a
girl I thought could be a sister. I don’t know how Shel took such a
close photo unnoticed, but I can clearly see Teagan’s long raven
black hair, dark almond shaped eyes, gorgeous lashes, and full,
pouty lips. She could be a model. She appears exactly as she did in
the photo of her I’ve already seen. I guess back then Dane wasn’t
trying to hide anything from me. But what did he expect me to do?
Ask him about the girl in the picture? I remember him giving me
permission to snoop around his apartment when he left. I mentally
kick myself for not taking him up on that offer.

“
Tell me again what’s so
great about being human?” I ask Garrett quietly.

He looks at me concerned, and I show him the
picture. “Dane’s fiancée,” I say.

He gives me a sympathetic look. “You were
curious?” he asks in an effort to understand.

“
I tried not to be.” I
close the picture and tuck my phone under my leg. “Avoiding all
things Dane is easier said than done. Especially when your best
friends are his friends too.”

“
It sounds like he may be a
part of your life whether you like it or not,” Garrett says
wisely.

I never thought about it that way. Being
friends with Matt and Shel will inevitably have me running into
Dane from time to time. I won’t be able to avoid him forever.

“
You know,” he says, “maybe
Dane was meant to be in your life. Did you ever consider
that?”

I roll my eyes
sarcastically.
Riiiiight.
The phone chimes under my leg. “Geez!” I complain.
“I’m just going to turn it off.” I don’t want to see any more
pictures of Teagan.

I pull the phone out and, yes, there again
is another image from Shel. I can tell it’s not Teagan though, and
reluctantly I touch the screen. A picture of Dane enlarges before
me, and it’s a close-up. He must be sitting down because his
forearm rests against a table, and the frame is filled with his
face and torso. He looks directly into the camera, wearing an
apologetic expression, and he holds a small white napkin over his
forearm so it’s clearly in view of Shel, but not anyone else.
There, in black and white, is a message just for me:

I miss you.

Putting a cat in a pet carrier should not be
this hard! You would think I was trying to murder her.

“
C’mon LB!” I wrestle with
her as she twists her body in my hands. “Do you really want to stay
here alone?”

I’m attempting to leave Kalamazoo for home.
Tomorrow is the Halloween party I promised to help with, and I get
to dress up as a citizen of the Emerald City. I’m a little worried
about it because I remember the movie costumes being a bit bizarre,
but at least I didn’t get stuck with Toto. All the other popular
choices were taken.

LB lands a good scratch on my forearm, and I
let her go. “Dang it!” She runs to hide under the bed as blood
starts to slowly seep from two of the three claw marks. I groan in
frustration and pull myself off the floor to find a Band Aid. I’m
starting to think she will be okay here by herself for a few
days.

While I apply some antiseptic to my wound, I
hear three distinct thumps on the wall that separates my apartment
from Garrett’s. We’ve been communicating this way since last week,
when he decided to move back to his place after I survived the flu
and he dropped a stack of books against the wall. The sound was so
loud I thought he was being attacked and went running over there.
Turns out he was just being clumsy, but we discovered a cool way to
say hi every now and again. I peel the paper from a Band Aid and
press it to my skin as I walk into the kitchen. I give the wall
three good thumps back which are meant to say “Hi. I’m still here.”
I look around the kitchen and grab two breakfast bars I left on the
counter to take with me for snacks for the road. I knew I was
forgetting something.

I head to my room and place the bars in my
backpack, then zip it up. I have some clothes left at home, and I
don’t need to bring much with me other than a few toiletries and my
homework – and LB. She’s still hiding underneath the bed. I bend
down, pull back the bed skirt, and let my eyes roam the darkness
until I see hers. “Come out of there, you,” I say. “Don’t you want
to go see Grandma and Grandpa?” Lord, if anyone heard me they would
think I was insane. LB thinks I’m crazy too, because she hisses at
me. She has never done that before. What a stinker!

I sit back on my heels. I need to get going,
and I don’t feel like forcing her out of there and making her even
angrier. I look to my left and think of Garrett on the other side
of the wall. I bet he would agree to feed her while I’m gone.
“Looks like you might get your way LB,” I say as I stand. I walk
out of my apartment and over to Garrett’s, grabbing his door handle
and letting myself in. This is another thing we’ve started since
having the conversation about feeling lonely. We leave our doors
unlocked during the day, so we can come and go between each other’s
places. Of course we let one another know we’re home by the thumps.
It’s just easier.

“
Hey,” I say as I enter the
apartment, looking around the door. “I was wondering if…” I stop
short. Garrett, Thomas, and another woman are standing in the
living area. “I’m sorry,” I immediately apologize. “I’ll come back
later.”

“
No, it’s okay,” Garrett
says. He looks between me and the other Guardians. “You already
know Thomas and this is Joslyn,” he introduces us.

Thomas smiles his fatherly smile and raises
his hand to wave. When he does, he also raises Joslyn’s hand
because he holds hers firmly in his. She laughs and pulls her hand
away, giving me her own small wave. “Happy to meet you, Emma,” she
says. “You can call me Joss.”

Does everyone know who I am? I feel like
there must be a poster of me somewhere in the Intermediate. “Hi.” I
nod, embarrassed for interrupting. I look at Garrett. “I didn’t
know you having a meeting, so I’ll just…”

“
Oh, stay,” Joss says and
walks forward, holding her hand out to me. Her black hair is
peppered with gray, and she wears it in a bun on the top of her
head. She’s about my height, and has on black slacks, heels, and a
bright royal blue blouse with a cowl neck. Her complexion is
peaches and cream which, paired with the blouse, make her gray eyes
sparkle. “Let’s talk while the boys conduct business.”

She grasps my hand, and I allow her to lead
me to my old loveseat. Thomas and Garrett resume their discussion
and Joss looks at me warmly. What could she possibly want to talk
to me about? I really need to get on the road.

“
So,” she says, patting my
hand, “what are you up to today?”

I give her a confused stare. “Um…I’m going
home for the weekend?” My statement sounds more like a question
than a fact.

She smiles. “Do you have big plans?”

“
Nooo.” I look over my
shoulder to send Garrett a questioning glance. He just smiles at me
and continues speaking with Thomas. I turn back to Joss. “I’m
helping my mom with some volunteer work.”

“
That’s nice.” She sounds
genuinely excited. “What will you be doing?”

“
Helping out at a Halloween
party for little kids.”

“
Oh!” She releases my hand
and places hers against her chest. “That sounds darling! I miss
doing things like that.”

Okay, I get it now. She misses being human.
I relax and give her a smile.

“
Actually, it’s my
grandkids that I miss,” she says. “Helping them get all dressed up
for Halloween.”

“
How many grandchildren do
you have?”

“
Eleven.” She beams. “And
one on the way.”

I can’t help myself and an “awww” escapes. I
can’t wait for my brother and Kate to get married and start having
kids.

“
I miss them,” she sighs.
“The feel of their little hugs, my refrigerator covered in artwork.
I used to spoil them rotten.”

“
I bet.”

“
That’s actually what drew
the two of us together,” Thomas pipes up, leaning over the back of
the loveseat and into our conversation. “The discussions about our
grandkids.” He looks at Joss like a love-struck teenager, and I get
the feeling if she could blush, she would.

Wait. “Are you two dating?” The question is
out before I can think twice.

Joss laughs. “You could call it that,” she
says. “Who knew you could find the love of your life after you’re
no longer living?”

What? The idea never crossed my mind that
Guardians could fall in love with each other.

Thomas leans forward and plants a kiss on
Joss’ temple. She smiles at him and then shoos him away. I’m sure I
look stupefied.

She leans in to me conspiratorially. “Fat
lot of good I did marrying all those husbands. No wonder none of
them would release me.”

I blink and rearrange my face. “How many
husbands did you have?”

She shakes her head and chuckles.
“Five.”

“
Five?”

“
And none of them compared
to me,” Thomas boasts.

“
Would you go away?” Joss
teases. “We’re trying to have a nice talk.”

I smile at Thomas. The two of them are so
cute. He listens to his woman and retreats a few steps.

“
So,” Joss says, “what
about you and Garrett? Will you be having children?”

Whoa! Where did that question come from?
“Ah, no.” I blush and look at Garrett, my expression panicked.

“
Joss,” Garrett steps in
quickly. “Emma is with James, remember?”

Joss looks between Garrett and I, puzzled.
“I thought James was her Guardian?”

“
He is,” Garrett says. He
smiles at me apologetically.

“
But I thought he
and…”

“
Emma,” Garrett interrupts
her. “Did you need something?”

“
Yes,” I say and stand.
This is the perfect opportunity to get out of this awkwardness. “LB
is giving me a hard time about the carrier; I can’t get her into
it.” I flash my forearm. “Could you feed her for me until I get
back on Sunday? I don’t feel like wrestling with her
anymore.”

“
Sure. The food
is…?”

“
Under the kitchen cabinet.
I’ll feed her today; you’ll just have to do it tomorrow and
Sunday.”

“
Got it.”

I start to make my way toward the door.
“I’ll bring my key over to you in a few minutes.” I turn to say
goodbye to Thomas and Joss. “I really have to get going; it’s a
three hour drive back home. It was nice talking with you.”