Allie's War Season Three (168 page)

Hell, if anything, it was a relief. The wall between us that had been frustrating me off and on for the past four years had finally fallen away.

I know,
I sent, sighing on the outside I said it.
I had a good reason, though. I'll explain later, I promise...
Hesitating, I made my thoughts lighter when I added,
You'd better take your man upstairs, Commander Jon. He looks like he's about to drop from fatigue where he sits...

Yeah,
Jon said.
About that. We thought we'd wait until arrangements could be made...for both of us being being out for awhile, I mean. We wanted to talk to you and Revik and Balidor about that...and probably Yumi and Chan, too. Can we set aside some time this evening? Maybe have a planning dinner, the seven of us? Eight, if you think Tarsi should be there...

I just stood there for a second, thinking about his words.

It took those few seconds for them to penetrate my brain, in terms of what they meant exactly, and then I was the one who emitted a pulse of shock. So Jon wanted to plan for this. Shit, well that made sense...I should have been the one asking him that, not the reverse.

He laughed.
Really, big sis? You think so, huh?

Well, yeah. I didn't plan that for myself. Revik had Cass and Balidor do a lot of that...

Once I mentioned her name, I wished I hadn't.

Not before I saw Jon wince, though.

Oh. Well. You don't have to do this one,
he sent, his thoughts stripped of emotion that time.
I know you've got your hands full...

Are you guys going to do a wedding? I know Gar was partly joking, but...

I don't know, Al. We have some other things we need to take care of, before we talk about that whole end of things. Maybe we can talk about it tonight, okay?

I nodded, still feeling a bit off-balance, and not only from the fact that Revik was probably more pissed off at me than he had been since the tank. The idea that Jon would soon be going through something similar to what Revik and I did, that first time in the mountains, was hard for me to process entirely. It scared me a little, truthfully.

I remembered how completely irrational we'd both been...and we'd been in a pretty safe location, for all intents and purposes. Jon and Wreg would be doing that here, in our base camp in the middle of what was essentially a war zone, or soon would be.

And we might have company soon. Ditrini sure seemed to think so.

Breathe, sis...
Jon sent, his mental voice holding an attempt at humor.

This isn't disapproval,
I sent back, unable to keep the tension out of my thoughts.
It's worry, Jon. It's not a great time right now for either of you to be that vulnerable...

Yeah,
he said, and I felt a kind of sigh from him.
I know. But we may not have much choice. We're having to make an effort to be this restrained...

Are you really that far along?

Jon shrugged, coloring slightly, even in the dim light.
Far enough that we both agreed we should stay out of each other's beds until we've had a chance to make arrangements...

Does Balidor know?
I sent.

He might,
Jon admitted.
He arranged a penthouse for the two of us. With a private construct...and without Wreg or me asking him. So either he saw this coming, or he's so tied into the construct that me and Wreg were annoying him...

I snorted, in spite of myself.
Yeah. It could have been either, really.

Allie,
Jon sent, sounding more worried that time.
Shouldn't you go talk to Revik?

I want to.
I folded my arms, gesturing with my hand almost without knowing I did it.
He doesn't want to see me right now. He's pissed. I should honor that...

Should you?

I rubbed my face with a hand.
I honestly don't know. He's down there now. I don't want him talking to that bastard. Ditrini would love it if he went in there. He's dying for any chance to talk to Revik. He told Balidor already that he planned to give him as many details as he could. Everything he did to me there...

There was a silence after I thought this at Jon. It didn't occur to me until he stopped that the silence was partly because Jon had shielded from me.

Are you sure he doesn't already know all that, Al?
he said finally.
He told me he saw most of your time in China...he said he saw it in detail. Well enough to recognize Surli when he saw him in that cell for the first time...

I didn't answer at first.

Revik had apparently told Jon more about that than he'd admitted to me.

I knew he'd seen impressions of my time there, during that healing coma, or
ungrat,
as the seers called it.
Ungrat,
which meant 'the stasis' in Prexci, normally implied a complete shut-down of all mental and emotional functioning, including anything associated with the Barrier, but Revik told me he'd seen something of my time in China during that one. He'd been vague about the specifics. He'd asked me about the thing with Surli without ever admitting to me that he recognized him. I found myself wondering which parts of the Ditrini thing he'd seen before he asked me about that, too, and winced. He'd known enough to talk to Balidor and Wreg about having Ditrini killed, even before he'd seen the tattoo Ditrini put on my back.

Crap,
I thought towards Jon.
Yeah. I'd better go find him. Either that or he might kill Ditrini before Balidor gets a chance to question him again...

Was it that bad?
Jon sent.

When I glanced at him, my jaw hardening, Jon quickly shook his head.

...Never mind. Sorry I asked.

It's all right,
I sent back, waving off his words.
But I really should go.

Jon gave me a mock salute, sending a pulse of reassurance that I felt in my heart. Again, it was strong enough to startle me, and warm enough that it brought a surprised smile to my lips. Unfolding my arms, I saluted him back, sending him a pulse in return.

Thanks,
I sent in the pause after.
And congratulations. Really. Just don't kill each other, okay?
I added.
We need you both, you know. Him, too.

Gotcha,
he sent, mock serious.
Don't kill husband. I'll try to remember.

Maybe write it down?
I suggested.
Or have Wreg give you a tattoo?

Ugh. Don't get him started, please...
Jon said, rolling his eyes with a genuine frown.
Seriously. Don't mention me and tattoos to Wreg in the same sentence...ever.

I laughed aloud at that, unable to help myself.

But I was already edging back through the crowd, too, aiming towards the rounded end of the horseshoe-shaped fish tank and the front door of the restaurant. Most of those clustered around the bar had already forgotten me anyway, partly because I wasn't drinking I suspected, so not in the same space as the rest of them...and partly because most could probably tell I'd been talking to someone in the Barrier, even if they hadn’t figured out who. They'd been watching Jon, too, I noticed, because as soon as he and I stopped talking, Neela smacked him on the shoulder, and offered him a shot of something. One of those two things had Wreg scowling again, but Jon leaned back, nearly sitting in Wreg's lap as he downed the offered shot.

I barely saw this though, because I'd already slid back into the Barrier. That time, I didn't bother getting defensive, and my message was brief.

I'm on my way down,
I told him.

Allie,
he sent angrily.
No ––

But that time, it was me who pushed him out, shutting the door on his light even as I headed for the closest bank of elevators that would take me back down to the basement.

14

CONFESSIONS

HE MET ME at the elevator.

I felt a hard pulse of his light as soon as the doors began to open. Being that close to him, it wasn't just anger I felt, not that time. His hurt hit me that time, too, along with a pain that lived somewhere below that, intense enough that I watched him cautiously as I left the elevator car to face him.

His voice, however, was completely devoid of emotion when he spoke.

"I asked you not to come," he said. "I
asked
you, Allie."

I frowned, still watching him as I stayed where I was, not moving any closer. It took me a few seconds to pinpoint my exact reaction, even though I could still feel the emotion coming off his light. I realized though, a few beats later, a further reason for my caution.

His eyes were glowing. Pale rings of brilliant green, they shone lighter than the color of new leaves.

 
"Revik." I softened my voice, making it lower than I had before, in the room. I sent him a reassuring pulse, and felt him wince when it came in contact with his light. "Revik," I said again. "Please. Calm down, okay? I know you're angry...but I had a good reason for wanting to talk to Ditrini..."

"I know," he said, his voice close to a growl again. "You think the Lao Hu put some kind of block on your light. You think
he
did it..."

I stared at him in surprise. "Well, if you know, then––"

"Alyson," he snapped. "I know because I watched the damned recordings...and because I felt you thinking there might be something wrong with your light in the room." His face hardened more when I touched his light again. "Fucking stop it! I'm not an animal...stop trying to 'manage' me, goddamn it. I have every right to be angry!"

I withdrew my light, but continued to look at him cautiously, both from the Barrier and with my eyes. Him, I could see clearly. Probably because of the bond.

"Revik, you're not yourself right now..."

"Don't start, Allie. Don't fucking start. If I'm not myself, then maybe––"

"Revik!" I said, feeling my jaw harden. "I'm not 'managing' you...you're freaking me out. You've been acting strange all day..." Trailing at the anger that rose to his expression, I cut him off before he could speak. "Look. I know you're pissed I didn't tell you beforehand. I'm not minimizing that. I get it, okay?"

"Bullshit!" he snarled, even as his eyes glowed brighter, causing me to step back. "Bullshit, Allie! If you 'got it' you wouldn't have fucking
done
it. Do you understand me?"

I continued to watch him warily, now wondering if I needed to call Wreg.

But Wreg wasn't exactly Mr. Rational these days, either. For all I knew, he'd side with Revik on this one.

I found myself fighting to keep my light open in any case, to not withdraw from him, knowing that would only make this worse, whatever 'this' was exactly. I tried to focus on the pain I felt on him, not the anger, the hurt underlying that pain instead of the part of him that felt like it wanted to fight me...physically, that is. Even so, I could feel that a part of me was getting ready to fight him if I had to, too, even as my mind whirled around what I could feel off him, and whatever was going on with his light.

Could this really be all about Ditrini?

Then, it hit me. I knew what this reminded me of.

"He has someone here," I blurted. "Someone in the hotel. High enough in the construct that he can manipulate it..."

"What?" Revik stared at me, his voice hostile as his eyes sparked. "What are you talking about, Alyson? Are you saying the Lao Hu has someone here?"