Allure of the Wolf (Seraphine Thomas Book 2) (35 page)

“You weren’t a bad boss, but yeah, sleeping with you was a mistake professionally. But
Monroe
? Seriously, Brian. He’s like the Gandalf and Dumbledore of leaders. I’ve never met or had a better boss or leader
ever
. He’s like the boss you pray to have just once in your whole career, he’s
that
good. I never doubt he’s got my back, will be there for me, fight for the team—any of it.”

“I get it, Monroe’s Santa and Batman all in one,” he teased as he slapped my knee. “Okay, so you went through your stages of grief over losing your old life. What are you trying to tell me?”

“I missed a stage,” I mumbled, playing with the wrapper of my sandwich. “That was only four. I skipped
denial
. I never went through the
shock
and
isolation
part of grief. Okay, there was a little isolation that first week when I learned about all of this, but I jumped right in. There was never any denial I was a wolf. I saw it right away.”

His eyes filled with understanding and a lot of sadness for me. “But never that you weren’t human anymore.”

“No, never that,” I agreed. I sucked in a shaky breath. “Did they tell you what happened to Engle?”

“Yeah, you had to put him down. That’s why they all think you’re so freaked out and Monroe thought to call me,” Havers explained. He rubbed my leg gently. “But, Sera, I was
there
the first time you had to pull the trigger. You were upset, though a normal amount. You knew you did the right thing, and from what I hear, you did it again. It was a just kill. You did
everything
you could to bring him in alive. So why is this one getting to you so badly?”

It was now or never to tell him the full reason for my meltdown. I took in another deep breath and decided to go with my gut. He was the one person who would really get it this time.

“I made a bonehead, rookie mistake and got distracted. Engle took advantage of that. I reacted as a
wolf
, Brian. Not as FBI. I didn’t reach for my
gun
. My hand turned into fucking
claws
. Do you get it? I’m not human anymore. My first instinct to protect myself was to break out the claws! I dropped down and went to deflect him but since I had razor sharp
claws
they sliced through his chest like nothing and I went right into his fucking rib cage. I ripped out his goddamn heart. A human can’t do that.”

“No, no a human can’t,” he murmured, taking the sandwich from me and setting it on the coffee table. Then he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. “Okay, I get it. That was freaky, and yeah, I would be shitting a brick too. I don’t downplay the deserved pause and
oh fuck did I just do that
moment you’re having. I do disagree with one thing though.”

“What?” I choked out, twenty seconds from losing my shit and sobbing all over him.

“I need to know one thing first.” He waited until I nodded against his chest. “Sera, were you
armed
? I thought the rules were you couldn’t take weapons onto pack lands for a challenge or something. It’s hand-to-hand combat, right?”

Instantly I calmed down and simply blinked before slowly pulling away, staring into his eyes. “No guns. What are you saying?”

“I’m saying if you had a gun, you would have pulled it on Engle,” he pushed, scrubbing his hands over his head. “You reacted with what you had. If I was unarmed and a
stapler
was all I had to defend myself, fuck that, I’m grabbing the damn stapler. You used your training and, without thinking, used what you had at your disposal. Yes, you have claws because you’re a werewolf, you killed him that way because you could for the same reason. But that you reacted so fast and went on instinct like that was your
training
.”

I bobbed my head as I listened, his logic sound and undeniable. “That helps, but only partly.”

“I know that, I do. I get why you’re upset.”

“There’s more,” I admitted, picking back up my sandwich. I was hungry after all. “Short version, I’m a rare strain of werewolf. I’m immortal now.”

“Fuck,”
he gasped, his eye bulging out.

“Yeah,” I chuckled darkly. “That was an interesting pill to swallow. But Engle’s last words to me were something like, he was sorry he wouldn’t be around to see someone kill me the same way. I’m Alpha now, and that’s how Alphas die, by losing a challenge.
Or
since I’m immortal, I’ll just be Alpha of the Chicago pack
forever
.”

Havers studied me for a few minutes as I finished my first bagel before he spoke. “How have you not gotten fucking
sauced
?”

“I think that’s next on my game plan.” My sandwich felt a little like a rock in my stomach hearing him agree with me that I wasn’t overreacting. It truly was as big of a deal as I was making this all out to be.

“Good plan, Sera,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Really good fucking plan.”

I thought so too.

But instead, I thanked him for breakfast and got in the shower when he left. Then I dressed for work. There was too much work to be done. I could wallow later.

“Sort everything out?” Tristan asked me.

“Not even close,” I admitted, kissing him on the cheek. “It’s going to have to be a work in progress because we have wolves in protective custody on taxpayers’ money that can’t stay there now that Engle’s gone. I need to handle that.”

Half an hour later, I was walking into the office and to say it resembled a
zoo
was an understatement. The lobby was
full
of people, all shouting, all pissed off… It was chaos. My jaw fell open as my heart raced, and after standing there a few minutes unnoticed, I not only couldn’t figure out what everyone was yelling
about
but I couldn’t get to my office through the crowd without starting to crack some skulls in.

Which actually sounded pretty great given the mood I was in. However, it was rather extreme and unprofessional. So I went with option
B.

I set down my bag, shook out my hands and loosened my shoulders, before letting out the best wolf snarl with all the power I could give it and still hold back the change.
Instantly
everyone went quiet, and when I opened my eyes, the lobby was focused on me and baring their necks.

“That’s better,” I sighed as I picked up my bag again. “Now, where is someone who works for me?”

“I’m here, Chief,” Harris called out over by the doors that led from the lobby to our offices.

“Make a path people.” They did, parting like a sea of bodies. “Harris, why am I walking into this shit first thing in the morning and what is it about?”

“They won’t listen to a
cat
,” he bitched, his hands fisting at his sides as he stared at his shoes. “And they want to know what’s happening with the eighteen people we’re holding and where they are.”

“So update the family members. You’re a cop. You know the drill.”

Harris’s head snapped up and anger was so thick in his eyes I actually flinched because for the first time ever it was directed at
me
. “There’s nothing to update besides we’re holding them. Most of what’s going on falls under the purview of pack punishment from what we can tell and it’s a big fucking mess I’m not authorized to handle.”

“Are you going to let him talk to you like that, Alpha?” someone bitched.

I turned to face the crowd, finally understanding all the people there were
pack
now that the shock had worn off and it wasn’t just a lot of wolf scent filling my nose, but
only
wolf I was smelling. “Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat, a
lot
of things will be changing as you all wanted because Engle was a bastard. I will handle that in time, I need more than a second to catch up. But before we get to any of that, know this, don’t ever, not
ever
push me, bully me, or taunt me. It won’t work and it will piss me off.

“Secondly, we are
more
than wolves. We are people too. That was the main reason Engle and I couldn’t get along. So
accept
that right now if you are going to stay in this pack under its new leadership. In this office or while I am in my official capacity, it’s Chief Thomas. I am not your Alpha in this instance. I work for the FBI and how I deal with my people is not only none of your concern but something you should never question.”

I waited until I saw several people nod, some of the tension easing from the room.

“Now, I don’t give a rat’s ass if Special Agent in Charge Harris is a cheetah, he is an officer of the federal government and
will
be treated with the respect do that title.” I stared down the people in the room, letting them know it wasn’t a debatable fact. “If I find
any
member of the pack is disrespecting civil servants, public officials, law enforcement, or any other type of authority, I will make your lives a living fucking hell
in
the pack and outside of it with whatever power I can besides using my badge.

“You wanted me to take over the pack, save you from Engle and the Shifter Council? You got it. This is the price to pay. You want the pack to be better, safer? Then
be better
—better than the rest. I know this is a hard, confusing time, and my taking yesterday for myself wasn’t helpful but I needed it. Be the family I hear a pack is supposed to be and understand that my life just changed forever and taking over wasn’t something I wanted, but I did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. I will ask the same of all of you.”

“Alpha—Chief Thomas,” a woman started but then corrected herself, stepping forward. “I think everyone here is eternally grateful for what you’ve done, and we understand it will take time. I’m sorry I was mean to your agent, but it wasn’t that he’s a cheetah and I won’t listen to him, I was saying he’s a cheetah and wouldn’t
understand
. With no enforcers or Betas actively ruling the pack, others are trying to step up and take the places of the men you’re holding. And I wanted to know Freddie wasn’t being held with the others.”

“Jessica?” I asked, waving her forward.

“Yes, ma’am.” She slid through the crowed and gave Harris a nod. “I’m sorry. I just meant you might not know everything going on and what they’ll do to Freddie for having told Chief Thomas about the inductions if he’s being kept with the others.”

“That makes more sense,” Harris sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was hard to make out any of you over
all
of you.”

I stared around the room and realized how much more complicated my day was than I had realized. “All right, this is what we’re going to do. Someone make a coffee and donut run. Everyone in here, chill out, relax. I’m going to get a situation update and send someone out with some answers. Don’t badger them or ask for more. We’ll give it when we’ve got it. Then we’re going to start calling the people back we need for questioning and to help fill in some of the blanks on what else you brought up. Okay? We’ll work through this, we just need your help.”

Everyone nodded, talking amongst themselves about food and something to do while they waited. I slapped on my best professional smile as I told Jessica to wait right there and one of us would be back for her in a bit. Then Harris and I hurried into the offices, and the
moment
I was out of earshot from everyone in the lobby, I asked under my breath what I’d been dying to know.

“Where the fuck are the eighteen wolves and where is this
holding
area we don’t
have
, Harris?”

20

“I’m
not
getting yelled at for this,” Harris grumbled as he led the way at a quicker pace than his usual strut. “It wasn’t my idea, I didn’t do it, and I didn’t even
like
it.”

I let it go until we got to the stairwell, then I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around so fast he almost fell into the open steel door. I slid into the area with him, and let the door close before pressing him back against the door. “I’m getting tired of people acting like I flip out on them for no reason or walk around with my bitch hat on all the time. If I’m pissed someone’s
done
something but even then I very rarely
yell
. I’m sorry, Mike, but please remind me when I’ve ever
yelled
at you or torn you a new one for anything?”

“You haven’t,” he snarled his eyes shifting. “I’m losing my shit because all of these wolves are bitching me out, bossing me around, and everything else, Chief. I’m a cheetah. I’m higher up in the animal kingdom, and it’s still the lunar cycle. I don’t have your power to control the situation but Cooper, Monroe, and I were the only ones with the training to hold down the fort until you got here.”

“So my having a meltdown fucked you up?” I winced at that.