Alluring (27 page)

Jack leaned toward her, getting in her space.  "Sweetheart, you're starting to scare me.  What's wrong?"

His words were clipped.  A sure sign he was losing his patience.  He pulled his hands from her grasp.  Her fingers immediately found the end of her shirt, curling into it and twisting the hem.  He lifted her chin with a finger, tilting her face to look at him.  With his other hand, he tucked her stray curls behind her ear.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly opened them.  She needed to see his face when she spoke.  He was giving her time to find her words, but by the tensing of his jaw, she knew her time was running short.

This was confirmed by his next growled word.  "Alexis."

She decided to throw it out there, read his reaction and go on from there.  "You got a text while you were in the shower."

He watched her a moment without moving.  His eyes moved to locate his phone on the end table.  He released her chin to reach for it.  She watched his every move while he picked up his phone, tapped the screen to life, and read the text.

She noticed a slight stiffening of his body, but his face gave nothing away.  She waited a full minute before she couldn't take it any longer.  "Say something."  She pleaded in a whisper, in a voice so desperate, she was embarrassed he even heard it.

His body grew more rigid at her words.  That couldn't be good.  Right?

He put the phone down and turned to face her.  "It's not what you're thinking."

"Then what is it?"  Maybe if he had a good enough explanation, she would believe him, and they could move on.

"I can't tell you that right now."

Right now?  As in, he would tell her at some point in the future?  Will they even have a future?  "Do you remember the one thing I asked of you when you said to give you a chance?"

"Yes, Alexis, I remember very well."  He stood from the bed, fixed the towel that came lose at his waist, and paced away.  He stood with his back to her, running his fingers threw his damp hair.  "You don't know how much it frustrates me that you still doubt me. 
Us.
  If you could look into my head and in my heart, all your doubts would vanish."

"But I can't!  And you can't expect me to trust in you blindly.  You need to earn my trust and texts like that,"  Alexis angrily pointed her finger at his phone even though he couldn't see her theatrics, "don't help my insecurities. 

"I'd be a fool to trust you'll never leave me because when you do, it will destroy me.  I need to keep a part of my heart hardened against you, or else I won't recover from you when you're gone."

He quickly whipped around, pinning her with his stare.  "You're so concerned about your heart.  What about mine?"  he yelled, angrily thrusting a thumb at his chest.

"I'm not gonna be the
one
leaving
you,
Jack."

"And how do I know that?  I'm just as vulnerable as you are.  I'm
just
as scared of losing you as you are of me.  Hell, I
almost
did lose you.  Do you know what that felt like?  How
scary
that was for me?  You are my everything, Alexis.  If I lost you, I would be broken.  BROKEN!" 

Alexis flinched at his last yelled word.  Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks.  Her heart ached at the look of anguish on his face.  She wanted to rush over and wrap herself in his arms, but his next words stopped her.

"If you don't have as much faith in me as I have in you, this relationship will never work."  He was speaking quietly now as if afraid speaking the words too loudly would give them the power to come true.  "You can't keep a part of your heart from me.  I want, need,
and
deserve the whole damn thing.

"I made a promise to you, Alexis.  I promised that I would never cheat.  And I won't.  Hell, if you understood the extent of my feeling for you, you wouldn't even question that.  I also told you I would never lie.  So I'm telling you now, that nothing about that text will ever cause you harm, and I need you to trust in me when I tell you that." 

He walked to the bed and pulled her to her feet, standing her before him.  He cradled her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes.  "Can you do that for me?"

Alexis reached up, grasping his wrists, holding on tight, looking just as deeply into his eyes.  "Yes."

He took a hold of her hand and brought it to his chest.  "Do you feel that?"

"Your heart?"  At his nod, she replied, "Yes."

"It's beating just for you.  From the first moment I saw you, it was yours.  And, until my last breath on this Earth, it will belong to you."  He brought his hand to her chest and placed it over her heart.  "Now I need to know if yours belongs to me.  Not a part, but the whole thing.  A person can't live with half a heart.  I need your whole heart to survive."

Alexis brought her hand from his chest to cradle his jaw.  She rubbed her thumb softly back and forth over his lips.  In her heart, she knew she couldn't doubt him now.  If she did, she would risk losing him forever.  She'd told herself once before that she wasn't going to let her insecurities get in the way of her happiness.  She had forgotten that, but she would not forget again. 

Tears were still falling from her eyes and her voice was thick as she replied, "I'm giving you my heart.  All of it.  Right now, you're holding it in your hands.  Please keep it safe."

"I will cherish it, protect it, and hold it close, always."  He picked her up and deposited her gently in the center of the bed.  He removed the towel from around his waist and stretched out beside her.  Up on an elbow, he leaned over her, softly brushing her hair away from her face.  He kissed her tenderly on the forehead, the tip of her nose, the apple of her cheek. 

More tears fell from her eyes and he wiped them away.  "Why are you still crying?"  he asked, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"I love you so much and that scares me.  I can't lose you, Jack."

"You'll never lose me.  I'm holding on tight and never letting go."

She felt the promise of his words in his kiss.  His tongue parting her lips.  His breath breathing life into her.  She greedily took him into her lungs, holding her breath, trapping him there. 

Her T-shirt was gone in a blink, replaced by his hands and lips.  She arched her body, trying to get closer.  Needing to feel his strength surrounding her.  Filling her. 

He slid her panties down, and she cradled him against her body, tightly wrapping her legs around his waist.  He purred in her ear, tracing his tongue along its curve.  He kissed a line down her neck, stopping to suck in a pinch of skin. 

Alexis's breathing was growing faster.  "I need you Jack."

"Not yet."

"Please," she panted, barely getting out the word.

"Soon."  He untangled her legs from his waist, spreading them wide, his fingers massaging her inner thighs.

"Please, I need you now.  I want you close."

"I'm right here," he said, his breath tickling the skin of her lower abdomen.

"No.  I need you closer.  I want to feel you over me, around me, in me."

Jack groaned, surging up her body, wrapping her in his arms and plunging in.  She gripped him with her legs around his waist, her arms circling his back, hugging him close. 

He rocked inside her circling his hips, but he didn't pull put.  "Yes," she sighed, "just like that.  Don't let go."

"I'll never let go."  He captured her lips in a fierce kiss, his tongue invading, sweeping in and capturing hers in a lusty battle.

Alexis felt her senses sharpen as she grew close.  "Don't stop," she chanted, ripping her mouth from his, so she could tip her head back.  Her body arching and tightening in release.

Jack gave a few last thrusts, following her over.  He buried his face in her neck, panting heavily.  He started to rise, but Alexis held on, clutching him with her limbs.

"I don't want to suffocate you."  He placed soft kisses on her neck, lightly tracing the skin with his tongue.

"You won't.  I'm not ready to let go yet."

"Take your time, love, but I'm always here.  I'm not going anywhere.  You don't need to fear letting go.  I'll always be right here."

She didn't answer, just held on tighter.  He let out a deep breath, rolled them so they were laying on their sides and reached down pulling the sheet up to cover them. 

They were still connected.  Still wrapped around each other, but now, her face was buried in his neck.  She breathed in his scent, memorizing it.  The feel of his heart beating against her lips and the warmth of his skin were things she never wanted to forget. 

He was so strong, his body hard and unyielding.  She felt safe and protected as he held her as if nothing could harm her.  He was her shield against the world. 

Her eyes were growing heavy, but she needed to tell him something before she fell asleep.  She tipped her head back, resting it against his arm, so she could see his face.  "It's not that I don't trust you," she spoke softly, running her fingers along his spine.  "I wouldn't be here if I didn't.  It's just sometimes, I still feel in awe of you.  I wonder what the heck you could find so special about me," she giggled softly.  "To be honest, I still haven't figured that out.  You're so beautiful, so powerful.  You could have anyone you want, and you want me.  Most of the time, I've come to accept that, even embrace it, but sometimes, I still struggle.  Especially when something happens to throw up a red flag, like that text.  Know matter how comfortable I become with you, I don't think I time would come that I wouldn't be upset by something like that, and I will always confront you with it, but what I said earlier wasn't true."

He stiffened in her arms.  "And what was that?"

"You've always had my whole heart.  My brain was just coming up with an escape plan, in case something happened with us, to keep me safe.  I foolishly thought that if you didn't have my whole heart, there would still be a piece of it left that I could survive on.  The heart doesn't work that way though, does it?"  She smiled up at him.  "Once it belongs to someone, it's theirs.  There is no holding back.  And I wanted you to know, I didn't hold mine back."

"I love you, sweetheart.  You have nothing to fear from me.  I will protect you
and
your heart for as long as mine's still beating."  He slowly traced the outline of her face.  "As for what it is I see in you, I see my future. I see the mother of my children.  But most importantly, I see the only person who has managed to capture my heart.  You are my whole world."

He looked at her intensely, and it was impossible to deny the love she saw clearly expressed on his face.

"I see your outer shell, God, you are so fucking beautiful you take my breath away, but it doesn't compare with what's on the inside.  Your strength, loyalty, integrity, and purity coat you like a glow, you shine so bright, like an angel.  You make me feel honored, humbled, and so damn special.  You make me weak and invincible.  You can bring me to my knees with a single look, but you also give me the ability to slay dragons for you.  And that, sweetheart, is what I see when I look at you."

"Wow," she said, eyes wide, a smile on her lips.  "I must be pretty fantastic."

Jack chuckled, rolling so she was laying atop him.  "That you are, baby, pretty fuckin' fantastic."

She gave him a wink.  "Right back atcha."

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The 4th of July fell on a Saturday.  The day was sunny and hot, and the air conditioner was on full blast as they drove down the highway.  Jack and Alexis were in the front.  Emily and Reese were in the back.  Jack still hadn't told them their destination, only that she should wear a bathing suit under her clothes and to bring a sweater.

They'd been traveling for about twenty minutes and Emily and Reese had spent that time bickering about the probability of time travel.  Alexis thought it was hilarious.  Every time Emily would produce a ridiculous theory of why it could be possible, Reese would produce an equally ridiculous theory of why it wasn't.  Alexis had spent the last twenty minutes quietly giggling to herself, Jack frequently looking over at her and smiling.

Alexis started paying attention to her surroundings as Jack exited the freeway.  It looked as if they were still in the desert.  Joshua Trees lined the road, and red sandstone and black lava rock hills filled her window.  Soon a lake came into view.

"Are we at Lake Mead?"  Alexis asked, bouncing in her seat.

"We are."  Jack was grinning at her antics.

"I've only been here once.  When I was around eight."  She leaned forward in her seat, stretching her seat belt, trying to get a better view out the front window.

"Sit back, beautiful.  If I have to slam on my breaks for a slow-moving turtle, I don't want you banging your head."

Alexis rolled her eyes at him but did as she was told.  "So what are we doing here?" 

He gave her a mischievous grin.  "It's something you'll have to see to believe."

And see she did.  They parked the car and stepped out into the heat.  Thank goodness, she had fully recovered from her heatstroke or the temperature would have been brutal.  Jack took her hand as he led them to the harbor.  A row of golf carts came into view, and Jack steered them in that direction.  Once in the cart, they took off for the docks.