ALLUSIVE AFTERSHOCK (4 page)

I tapped my toes, staring
out the window toward the barn, wishing I could see through the walls.

Finally, I glanced at
Ambrosia as she put the last little orange frosted Loop in her mouth. “Put your
bowls in the sink,” I ordered. Grabbing my jacket and stuffing it under my arm,
I raced out of the kitchen through the back door and ran to the stable,
stopping short of the open double doors, not wanting to appear too anxious. I took
a deep breath and walked in, the scent of fresh hay tickling my nose as I
inhaled.

Courtland Reese stood
beside Misty, cooing in her ear and holding an apple while she munched away.
Shiloh lifted her head for a brief moment as I entered and lowered it back down
on her paws, watching me walk toward Blue. I pretended not to notice Court and
pulled the gate open.

“You can go in, but don’t
attempt to saddle him.” Courtland’s deep voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

Startled, I glanced
over at Court. He never even looked up, simply continued stroking Misty while
she nibbled at the apple in his hand. I hated how he acted as if I should just
go along with whatever he said.

My dad had the radio on
and the announcer’s voice blared throughout the stable, talk of the earthquake
dominating the conversation. San Joaquin, the epicenter of the six-point-nine
quake, experienced major damage. The destruction was devastating and still
under assessment. Reports of buckled highways and multiple car pile-ups made me
cringe; so many people trapped in their cars and presumed dead. Several cars
plummeted into the delta when the bridge collapsed down around Antioch. The man
on the radio said they didn’t have the total death toll yet. Most of the
surrounding towns, like ours, only experienced minor damage with broken windows
here and there, and several stores’ merchandise had toppled over, requiring
major cleanup. And, oh yeah, school was closed for the rest of the week.

I placed my jacket over
the railing, too excited to pet Blue to worry about being cold. Besides, I had on
a sweater now. I reached in the pocket of my jacket and took out the apple I’d
put in there earlier and offered a bite up to Blue before entering his stall. He
sniffed at it then bit into it.

“He’s already had one
of those,” Courtland yelled over toward me and I shot him a don’t-cross-me
glare. He shrugged. “But I guess it will be okay for him to have another.”

Blue ate while I slowly
opened the gate and closed it quietly behind me, still holding the apple for
him while he nibbled. After he took the last bite, I grabbed the brush from the
hook on the wall and turned toward Blue. Peeking over his shiny back, I saw
Courtland, now oblivious to anything except Misty. Could he really talk to her
and figure out what she wanted or needed? I bit my lower lip as my temper flared,
causing every little hair on my body to rise and my skin to prickle. Nobody told
me how to treat my horse. At that moment, I hated Courtland Reese. Using long,
gentle strokes, I alternated between the brush and my hand, stroking slowly
over Blue’s back, whispering into his ear, “You’re okay, aren’t you Big Blue? I
bet you’d be even better outside going for a run, wouldn’t you?”

Man, I wanted to ride
Blue so badly my legs itched to be on top of him with the wind blowing against my
face. Satisfied with the smooth clean glow of his back, I glanced over at Courtland.
He seemed completely absorbed, murmuring into Misty’s ear, stroking her back
and brushing her in a similar fashion to what I had done with Blue. My dad kept
busy hosing down an empty stall with his back to me. The metal trough in Blue’s
stall was full of grain and chaff, which meant my dad wouldn’t be coming over
anytime soon to feed him. Both Court and my Dad were too busy to pay any
attention to me, so I grabbed a light blanket off the railing and centered it on
Blue’s back a little over his shoulders. No one understood my horse the way I did.
I knew I could calm him better sitting on his back than standing there,
whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Blue stayed quiet and still for me and no
one bothered us. I glanced down toward the other end of the stable again; Courtland
stood next to Misty, still stroking her brown and tan coat, leaning close to
her ear with his back to me. He glanced up and nodded at something my dad said,
so I figured the timing was perfectly safe. I yanked the saddle from the wall,
trying not to make any noise and lifted the heavy seat, hoisting the smooth
leather up and over the blanket on Blue’s back. I cringed when I made a small
grunt, but they didn’t seem to hear, so I chose a bit, placed it in his mouth,
and slipped the bridle over his ears. I checked to make sure it wasn’t too
tight or too loose before buckling, and flipped the reins over his neck toward
the saddle. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to saddle him inside his stall, but I
really had no other choice. If I walked him outside, then my dad and Courtland
would stop me for sure. In my heart, I had no doubt Blue was fine and all he
needed was a soothing stroll through the meadow, just the two of us.

I slipped open the gate
to Blue’s stall and slipped my foot into the stirrup, hoisting my body on top
of Blue’s back. Blue jerked slightly under me so I patted his neck and we
proceeded out of the stall. It was so wrong of me to get on Blue while we were
still in the barn, but we needed to make a quick exit. Leaning down toward his
ear I whispered, “It’s okay, boy, shhhh. It’s okay. Let’s just sneak out now. Everything’s
going to be fine.”

Everything did seem to
be going fine as we made our way toward the door—until the ground started to
shake. Again. Blue threw his head up, whinnied with his nostrils flaring, and
bolted out of his stall. I had been pretty sure I had the reins secured in my
hands, but somehow I’d lost them and I found myself leaning forward, my arms
around Blue, hugging his neck. Behind me, Shiloh let out a single warning bark
and my dad yelled my name. I couldn’t help myself as a blood-curdling scream
escaped from my lungs and Big Blue galloped out into the yard. He whinnied
several times, bucking up his backside as he ran. I looked up at the gate I so
diligently remembered to lock and prayed Blue wasn’t in the mood to jump it. My
prayers were only semi-answered as Blue managed to stop before we reached the
gate, but he reared up on his hind legs. My arms gripped tighter around his
neck and Blue tensed more under me as he darted his head around, flaring his
nostrils again and holding his head very high while doing an excited little
prance. He turned his head back toward me, eyes crazed and huge with fear.

I couldn’t tell if the
aftershock had stopped or if the ground still trembled under us. I didn’t know
how he’d gotten there so quickly or how he did it, but somehow during my fearful
state of confusion, Courtland grabbed hold of the reins and began prancing
along with us, slowly coaxing Blue to a slower pace.

“Easy, boy, easy. That’s
it. Let’s just walk.” Court’s voice was smooth enough to soothe even me.

Tears stung my eyes and
I wanted to climb down and run. As if Court could read my mind, he spoke in a
deep, chiding voice, “Stay where you are. You wanted to ride, now ride. He’s
not going to stop to let you down just yet.” Courtland continued in a slow jog,
pulling Blue along. “Don’t worry about the little bit of weight on your back,
boy, it was the earthquake that scared you, not the girl. Everybody’s a bit
excited right now and not thinking too clearly about what’s right and what’s
wrong. We just need to give you some time.”

I didn’t need to be
Sigmund Freaking Freud to know that the
we
Court referred to meant me, and
that
I
needed to give Blue some time.

As we circled around
the yard, I noticed my dad standing over at the double doors to the stable,
leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, not saying a
word, just watching. Was that a look of disgust or disappointment on his face?
Probably both and I figured I’d hear plenty from him later. I lowered my head,
not wanting to make eye contact with him.

I sat on Blue’s back
listening to Courtland’s gentle voice, wondering if Blue really understood anything
he said … possibly.

“Yes, it was a stupid
thing for her to saddle you and even more foolish for her to sit on you, but,
Blue, really, she doesn’t weigh all that much, now does she? Probably not more
than a hundred pounds, soaking wet. Yes, maybe her father will punish her. Will
that make you happy?”

Hello? I’m right here
and I can hear you.

Blue actually nodded
and whinnied, showing his teeth in a smile. Traitor.

I knew that smile; it was
always meant for me, not Courtland. How could he say those things? Calling me
stupid, right in front of my face, and how did he know how much I weighed? I
wanted to jump down off Blue right then and give this
Doctor-Doolittle-freak-half-blooded-Miwok “Native American” a piece of my mind.
But I didn’t think Courtland would stop walking to let me down yet, so I had no
choice but to sit and listen.

Courtland never gave me
a glance, merely continued to berate me through my horse.

The reins vibrated in my
hands as though Big Blue’s entire core shook from within. Adela couldn’t have
understood how sensitive or afraid Blue was. Most people would never recognize
animal emotions, a small fact I tried to remember, but I couldn’t stop the
words from leaving my lips. When I felt the ground shake and looked up to see
what Shiloh barked about, well, needless to say, I was a bit pissed off. Blue
was completely out of control and Adela, she deliberately ignored my request to
stay off him. Why didn’t she listen to me? Did she hate me so much that she
completely ignored my instructions and jeopardized the well-being of her horse?

“Yes, you were
frightened, boy. I know, I know, all that shaking and rumbling this morning, then
bringing you out here without any warning only to experience more shaking. The
extra weight, little that it is, must be a bit unnerving. She should have been
more considerate, should have listened to me. We’ll walk now for as long as you
want. Try not to think about the girl sitting on top of you.”
And I’ll try
not to think about how her soft, silky legs must feel hugging your sides
.

“Just concentrate on
moving your feet forward. Control each step. That’s it, boy. Moving helps ease
the nerves, doesn’t it? Let’s go a little slower now. Good. Good. You’re
familiar with this weight on your back. The way her legs hug your sides, you
should be used to those, except right now everything seems ten times worse than
it really is.”

I guided Big Blue
around in small circles and as his breathing eased, I slowed the pace. The more
we walked, the more Blue forgot about the ground shaking and moving out from
under him. An earthquake could spook a horse for a good while, sometimes days. I
didn’t look up at Adela, couldn’t, but I was fully aware of her beautiful brown
eyes boring into me with hate. Before today, I didn’t recall ever saying more
than a couple of words to her at a time. She had no reason to dislike me, no
more than any other kid at school did, except her boyfriend, Max. No one hated
me as much as Max, who regarded himself as big stuff because he had money … and
good looks to go with it.

I’d always tried not to
pay much attention to the kids at school. They never had anything positive to
say to me or about me. Most of them seemed to be afraid of me, which made me
laugh. Just as well—I suppose that was better than making fun of me to my face.
Last week I overheard a girl in my government class tell her friend she thought
it was weird the way I spent all my time talking to animals. The way I saw it,
animals were much kinder than people. I wondered if Adela was afraid of me. I
hoped not, but I didn’t think there was much I could do to change that if it was
true. I did know, though, if I hadn’t been able to catch Blue, her beautiful
horse would have run off in a wild frenzy. He’d have thrown Adela off and being
as scared and confused as he was, not pay any attention to where he stepped,
possibly tripping, breaking his leg or worse, he might have trampled her.

I squeezed my eyes
tight. The thought of Adela getting hurt made my heart feel like it had a metal
rod stuck through it.

We must have walked
around and around in a circle for twenty or thirty minutes while I sat on top
of Blue, listening to Court’s insults. Then, without warning, we stopped.

Court raised his hand
to take mine. “Come down now.”

Stupefied, I tried to
hide the shock on my face as I took his hand and slid off the saddle.

He handed me the reins.
“Take him in and unsaddle him. You can walk him all you want, but don’t saddle
him or ride him again for at least another three days.”

Hoping the humiliation
didn’t show in my eyes, I took hold of the reins, saying nothing, not even
thanking him for saving my life. I led Big Blue back into his stall walking
past my dad, but I was too ashamed to look at him and he didn’t say anything to
me either.

Once I had Blue back in
his stall, I took off the saddle and blanket. As I stroked my finger around the
star on his forehead, he nuzzled his nose against my face.

“It’s okay, Blue, I
know you’re sorry.” He pushed his nose more into my hair. “I love you too.”

I brushed him some more
and glanced up to discover Courtland’s gaze fixed on me. I quickly looked away,
concentrating on keeping my own eyes on Blue. They stung from holding back
tears still threatening to pour out. Embarrassed and humiliated, I wanted to
run to my room and cry, but I was sure as hell not about to give Courtland
Reese the satisfaction of seeing me break down. I wanted to go find Max and
tell him how Court berated me, which wouldn’t accomplish anything except make
Max mad, so I would most likely keep it to myself. The last thing I needed was
Max getting involved in something he knew nothing about. Max was a wine maker,
not a horseman.