Almost a Cowboy (32 page)

Caroline took one look at Utah and could tell he’d been fighting. He crossed the hotel room to plant a kiss on the top of her head and then turned and headed straight to the shower.

She sucked in a breath. He smelled of grass and man. A warm seed slid into her belly, low.

Too low.

She reread the last three sentences in her article she’d written and then began to chip away at it again. Her editor was pissed. No, Caroline hadn’t missed her deadline, but the paper wanted to assign her a new story, and she needed to turn this one in first.

“I’m working on it every day,” she’d told her editor.

“When will I see it?”

“The end of the week.” By then, Caroline and Utah might be home again. Surely she’d have something to hand in by then.

She wrote a few more words but was distracted by the hum of the shower. Too easily she imagined Utah rubbing soap all over his body. Muscled chest, rippled abs. Bubbles would run into the dark nest of hair cushioning his cock. Then he’d take it in hand—

She cut off that thought, typed two more words. Her nipples ached for his touch and his hot mouth.
It’s your own fault.
If she walked in that bathroom, he’d take her. Is that what she wanted?

Isn’t it?

Since the beginning of time, they’d had amazing sex. And their relationship had worked. But would it have survived marriage?

Again, she shook herself and stabbed the keys of her laptop. The sound in the shower changed—water drumming against the side, and she knew he’d be rinsing his hair.

That throb in her breasts took up residence between her legs. She could initiate lovemaking. All she had to do was strip and wait naked for him to come out. He’d take one look at her and fulfill every need she had, no words necessary.

But to do so would drag out their parting. Eventually she’d go back to her solitary life. It was best.
It really is.

Hardly able to convince herself, she flipped between the screens she’d been working on. It bothered her that she didn’t know what went down between Kent, Chase, and Utah. She should have gone, but her damned editor had sent Caroline into a panic.

Would she be able to complete the story of Utah’s quest without this precious information?

The shower shut off.

Her mind went right to his nude, dripping body. She imagined running her tongue down his body, lapping away the moisture as she dropped to her knees and sucked his length into her mouth.

“Agh.” Too aroused for her own sanity, she grabbed her purse. If she didn’t get out of this room, Utah would come out with skin steaming, and she’d collapse under her need.

She rapped on the bathroom door. “I’m going to get a bottle of water.”
Or something harder.

“All right.” His voice came muffled—from the depths of his towel? Or was he disappointed she was leaving?

Of course he was. He wasn’t the one hiding his feelings.

She got out of the hotel as fast as possible. The street was just as oppressive, the evening air clogging her throat. Her muscles burned as she walked as fast as she could down the sidewalk. Even as she left the hotel and Utah behind, her heart ached. He’d want to talk about his meeting, and she wanted to hear it.

But she couldn’t let him take her body again. Not when he wanted more. It wasn’t fair to play with him a moment longer.

She slowed her pace, wandering through the streets and cursing the slipperiness between her thighs caused by Utah.

Just go back.

She’d have to eventually, but not yet. Distance was needed to keep her from jumping his bones.

I started this when I pulled him into my house.
At the moment, she’d responded to his presence with her whole body. Trouble was, she was still responding in this way. Heart, mind, body, and soul. All his.

“Dammit.” She kicked at a loose chunk of concrete. The small piece rolled a few inches. Her mind zeroed in on it, instantly comparing.

She was a big, unmovable slab. She wasn’t going to marry anybody and wasn’t going to change back to the old, softer Caroline. But bits of her could break off and roll to meet Utah, right?

Looking up from the piece of concrete, she stopped breathing. He stood there, ten paces away.

His expression didn’t change as he moved with purpose through the other pedestrians. Then her heart turned over with the realization it wasn’t Utah.

Slowly, she came forward, staring at the square jaw and a damned cleft in his chin, just like Utah’s. This was Kent or Chase.

He passed her, and she whirled, watching tight buns clad in jeans move away from her. Without thinking, she did an about-face and followed.

As he strode away, she registered what a fine-looking man he was. Just like Utah. Women must fall all over him. And that would happen to Utah too. If he stayed and took over the ranch, the ladies of South Ogden would line up for a chance with him.

A fog of green clouded Caroline’s brain. Would she just sit back in her cozy house with her cat and her nightly hands of rummy with her mother and let Utah slip away?

She followed the Davies man right up to the hotel. Obviously Utah had given him the particulars of where he was staying.

When he took the stairs instead of the elevator, she made the decision not to trail him. Her ride up to the third floor seemed to take forever. Still, his long legs must have carried him more quickly than the elevator system could go because he was already making his way down the corridor.

He knocked, and Utah threw the door open. Caroline’s heart lurched. Did he expect to find her there?

“Chase. Why don’t we go to the restaurant downstairs?” Utah poked his head out and spotted Caroline. Their gazes locked. His dark blue eyes related his worry, even if the hard set of his lips hadn’t.

Chase looked her over.

“This is Caroline Wilks. Caroline, my brother Chase.” Utah closed the door a little too forcefully. Then he grabbed Caroline’s hand and towed her to the elevators again.

Her skin prickled at Utah’s touch. Why had she been too stubborn to listen to her body earlier? All of a sudden her actions felt juvenile.

The hotel restaurant was quiet, with one waitress for the whole area. Utah chose a table near the windows where they could see the small town passersby, but Caroline couldn’t stop looking at Utah’s profile and Chase’s rugged good looks.

“You didn’t bring your wife.” Utah’s statement made Caroline suck in a breath.

“Uh, no. We didn’t have a babysitter.”

Caroline’s mind raced, writing the story she’d missed.

“I had to see you again. I have some questions about our father I didn’t feel I should ask in front of my wife.”

Utah slipped a hand under the table and found Caroline’s upper thigh. His heavy hand felt good—right. “I might not know the answers, but I’ll try my best.”

Chase gave a single Davies-style nod. His gaze slid to Caroline, and Utah tracked his hesitation.

“You can speak plainly in front of Caroline.”

“All right.” Chase pressed his long fingers together, flexing them. When he met Utah’s gaze directly, Caroline held her breath. Whatever he wanted to say, it was big.

Utah waited.

“Do you know anything about other affairs our father might have had?”

Utah narrowed his eyes. “You mean besides the seven that produced kids? No.”

“I was afraid of that. See, I caught him once, when I was about eleven. I’m not sure it’s anything, but…”

“If you’re here, it’s something. Go on.”

Chase slanted a look at Caroline and then lowered his voice. “I caught him with a man.”

Caroline’s shock reflected on Utah’s face. “Caught him how?” he asked slowly.

A ruddy blush climbed Chase’s face. “At the time, I didn’t know about men being with other men. But the moment kept bothering me. It gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no gay hater. But it was my dad.”

Utah was tense, his fingers locked on her thigh. “You saw him being…intimate?”

Chase nodded. “My mother wasn’t home, and this guy came over.”

Caroline’s stomach roiled. She didn’t want to hear another word about Hollis Davies’s treachery. He wasn’t even faithful to the eight women he’d claimed with offspring.

“Dad had him against the wall, kissing him, and his hand was in the guy’s…fly.” Chase’s Adam’s apple did a slow glide up and down his tanned throat.

Utah shoved out a noise. “Son of a bitch, I hate that man more and more every day.”

“I just wanted to tell you. Alone. Not even Kent knows.” Chase’s gaze lit on Caroline once more, and his face softened. “You look a little like my Amanda. Your hair and eyes.”

Her heart fluttered. It seemed a lot of the Davies men preferred light-haired women. Most of Hollis’s ladies were fair too.

“Chase and his family live on the military base. He’s in the Army like Kent,” Utah said.

The waitress came for their order at last. They all ordered coffee. Then Utah and Chase talked about growing up. Utah scuffed his knuckles of his free hand over his stubbled jaw, revealing a few small cuts to her. Upon closer inspection, Chase had matching cuts on his hand, crescent shapes that looked suspiciously like teeth marks.

She suppressed a shiver. At least she’d missed more Davies men trying to beat the hell out of each other.

She sipped her coffee and wrote their story in her mind. When conversation slowed between the brothers, Chase turned his attention to her again.

“If Utah is anything like my brother Kent, he’s a good egg. You’d better let him put a ring on that finger.” He looked pointedly at her bare hand.

Caroline’s heart somersaulted, and she fought the rising panic that his words had chiseled off a piece of her concrete resolve. She felt it rolling already, straight toward Utah.

The closer they got to the ranch, the stiffer Caroline became. During their long drive back across the country, she’d spoken little and given him no more than a passing kiss when he pursued her.

Being locked in the cab of a truck with her and her damned tiny shorts had him crazed by mile fifteen. He tried to break through her wall, but she only answered his questions about her article or even a call she’d taken from her mother in monosyllables.

He was losing her.

I might have lost her already.

As the landscape became familiar, he grew more agitated. What had changed between them? Suddenly she’d just pulled away, and he couldn’t place his finger on any one conversation or moment.

When they drove into their hometown, he let out a sigh. “It looks smaller now that I’ve seen more of the world.”

She nodded, close-lipped. They navigated the quiet streets, and Utah remembered them together on almost every one.

“Caroline—”

She raised a hand. “Utah, don’t. You know it’s not going to work.”

He bit off a growl. “I do not know that. In fact, I think you’re wrong, woman.”

She stared at him. “Our time is past. It ended when I didn’t elope with you.”

“Dammit, can you honestly sit there and tell me the last weeks together haven’t been special in a brand new way? We explored the world, the old days, and each other. Don’t deny it.”

“I’m not willing to go on,” she said in a dead, flat voice that made his blood run cold.

He could barely draw breath. When he finally spoke, his words came out jerky. “Not willing. Baby, don’t say that.”

“Please just drop me off at my mom’s. I’ll have her take me home.”

His heart convulsed, and the adrenaline racing through his system suddenly vanished, making him feel weak and sick. God, how to go on without her? He needed her like he needed air.

He stared at her. She met his gaze with her own teary one. Swallowing hard around the lump in his throat, he said, “All right.” He hoped it wasn’t as final as it sounded. Maybe given some space, she’d come around. Come back to him.

Letting her get out of his truck took every ounce of his self-control. Before she opened the door, he caught her shoulder. “Caroline, think about us. We’re good together. So good.”

She wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I’ll get my own bag from the back.”

Tears scalded his eyes and burned his nose. He pinched the bridge hard to stave off his emotion. But when she walked away from him, bag slung over her shoulder, his heart splintered.

Two tears tracked down his cheeks and pooled on his upper lip before he brushed them away. With a Herculean sniff, he put the truck into gear and drove away from the love of his life. More despondent than he’d ever felt before, he made his way home.

The ranch was as rundown as it had been weeks ago, but he needed to get it into some semblance of repair before his brothers and sisters descended.
Before I drag Caroline back here and demand she become my wife.

Dammit, that was exactly what he’d do. She had belonged to him always, and would forever. When he was done wooing her, she’d forget all about her stubborn ideas on love and marriage and become Mrs. Utah Davies.

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