Almost (44 page)

He breathes into the top of my head. “Hell yes. Yes!”

“Hell yes you'll kiss me? Or hell yes you're my boyfriend?”

“Both. God…Jess…both.” He hugs me tighter.

I try to pull free, wanting desperately to see his face, and I realize my hair has become so tangled into the buttons of his shirt that I can't move my head more than two inches away from his chest.

Of course I can't.

“I'm stuck…my hair is caught on your buttons,” I say into his shirt. “Are you wearing a suit?”

He pulls back. “Wow. It is stuck. And—I'm wearing a blazer…yeah.”

“Ouch. Easy…” I grumble as I feel hairs pulling out.

“It's bad. Hold still.” I can hear the laughter in his voice. His fingers move into my hair. I'm actually glad he can't see my face because I'm still processing the fact that Gray Porter's said he's my boyfriend! Which means
I'm
Gray Porter's girlfriend!

His fingers move to the button near my nose. “I kind of like you stuck to me like this.”

I quip back, “Good. Then get used to my moves. I have hundreds of ways to keep you tethered. I take the words ‘old ball and chain’ very seriously because from here on it gets ugly.”

He breaks the last strands of my hair free and, for the first time, I'm able to look at his beautiful green eyes. He smiles down at me and caresses my face. “I was hoping you'd say that.”

I reach up to loop my index finger gently through the curl on his forehead that's always out of place and move it up high with the others. I let my hand fall softly against his cheek, feeling the roughness of his morning beard against my palm, while my thumb explores the divot in his chin and my eyes travel to the strong curve of his lips. “I
need
you to kiss me. Right now. Please.” I know I sound desperate, but I don't even care. All I want is some assurance that this moment—that
we
are real.

My heart races when he leans in. Faster and faster. Our gazes tangle and I read his expression. It matches what I'm feeling: longing, mixed with happiness.

My heart soars and I lean toward him too.

“Not yet,” he pleads with a long, shaky breath and places his hands on my shoulders. “You got to kiss first yesterday, and it caused only chaos and confusion. I can't have you melting my mind with those lips and then expecting me to have any sort of coherent conversation. You're going to have to stop looking at me like that until I say what needs to be said.”

“Are you serious? I'm not going to beg you twice…” I blush and look away.

Gray laughs. “Buck up. I'm still under contract and according to
that
document I'm not allowed to kiss you at all.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope flashing the contents to me. It's full of hundred dollar bills and a copy of our contract! “No more checks for you to destroy. Take this cash. It's yours, and then tear up the contract.”

I make no move to touch the envelope. “I don't want that money. You—you need that for college. You are not changing any goals just because me.”

“It's important. I want the contract ended. Taking your half of the money from the internship is the only way to make it fair in my mind.”

“Yeah, but you earned it fairly. You don't even really know what this—what
we
are. And we sure don't know how things will work out. So…maybe I like the contract as is. We could re-write it? Add that we're dating on a trial basis, and then you could continue getting paid. Because we are both going to finish working the internship, right?”

He raises his brows. “I'm calling your bluffs from now on. We both know exactly what is between us, and how it will work out. We don't need a paper to bind us together. You
love
me, Jess Jordan, and I've been head over heels in love with you since freshman year. Let's at least come clean about that. Our contract is over, and you have to take back this money.”

A lump has lodged into the back of my throat. My heart has swarmed with two billion butterflies. I pull out the contract and look at our names scrawled on the bottom of it.

“Waiting.” He sounds annoyed.

“Okay. But this is really hard for me to say,” I snap. “I'm afraid.”

“Don't be. I want to hear that you agree.” His eyes burn into mine.

“The contract is over,” I say in a rush, feeling my face go hot all over again. “But…it seems sad to tear it up. I want to save this. It's so cute. Now…how about that kiss?”

He shakes his head and shoots me a warning glower. “Don't try to distract me. Finish saying what I need to hear.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I love you. Okay. I love you, and I get it. That you love me back. Happy?”

He grins so wide the sunlight seems to sparkle off every inch of him. “Almost. I can't move one more inch,” he says, holding up the envelope. “Not off this porch, not on with my life, and I will not kiss you ever again if this money is between us. Take it back.”

I manage an expression that matches the seriousness in his voice even though inside I'm having a
mini-scream-for-joy-party
. “I'll take the money if you agree to play on Coach Williams' team and shoot for a scholarship.”

Gray's eyes flash first with what looks like surprise, then anger. Then it changes to what appears to be hope. He nods once. “It's a fair arrangement. Provided he'll have me back.”

“He will. He told me so.”

“But you dump me, then I'm quitting again.”

I take the envelope full of cash and shove it into my pocket. “There. Deal complete. Pucker up,
boyfriend
.”

He sighs, and looks deeper into my eyes and I can sense something's still wrong.

“What?”

“What I did, freshman year…it's haunted me. Now that you've remembered, can you honestly say that nothing's changed about your feelings toward me? What if you can never forget me—what I did—what I didn't do…”

“Stop. I don't ever want to forget you being there. Never. You were afraid, just like me. And I shouldn't be mad at you for that. You stepped up. You were my hero that night, and I see that now. You stopped him. Gray…you stopped him from hurting me.” My voice breaks and my eyes well with tears. “I can't imagine who or what I'd be if you hadn't come in that room. You saved everything. And I was wrong to say I hated you for any part of that….”

He takes me into his arms. “Shh. Jess.
Crap!
I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm nobody's hero. I don't know how to forgive myself for leaving you like I did that night. For not killing that guy. Believe me, I tried. I started a fight that got me beaten to a pulp. I attacked him and his friends first. I was like a Yorkie going up against a gang of Alligators.”

Two tears escape down my cheeks.

“Jess—”

“No. I have to say this. We were just kids. Fourteen. I've seen the photos of you back then. You were smaller than my sister is now! I—just—
thank you
. Thank you so much. For fighting for me, for not telling anyone all those years. For taking a chance when I was such a jerk to you at the interview. You're the most honorable person I've ever known. To do something like that for a girl who wasn't even nice. And I wasn't at all nice that day.”

“You've always been nice. I knew you were fronting. I'm not honorable. Not like you think.” His eyes grow dark and I can see he's holding back his own tears. He shakes his head. “I didn't tell you the truth at the interview. And all summer long, I've been checking you out. I've had thousands of the most
dishonorable
thoughts about your legs, your eyes, that damn peach cobbler smell, the curls that gather around your temples and the back of your neck. God, the back of your damn neck drives me insane.”

“Seriously? Like what else?”

“Like wishing I could kiss you, or run my hands along your skin. And I've had these feelings every five seconds we've been together. When the whole time you thought I was just ‘doing my job’.”

A shaky laugh escapes me. “We're even then. I've been staring at your lips, your gorgeous gold-green eyes and your amazing smile too. And I've been loving the way you smell and your low voice since the interview. So there. You can't change my mind. You also just saved me from falling off the porch. Honorable hero, through and through. End of conversation. My parents told me how you offered yourself as a witness—”

“Crap. I'd forgotten about them. What
about
your parents? Should I start digging my own grave?”

“No. They—they're good. I told them everything. My dad almost choked Coach Williams to death in our front hallway, though!”

“No shit?” Gray pales. “
Coach
came to your house?”

“It's okay, they made up. I told them everything about the contract and about you—the
real you
including your name. They're also backing me on college. If I think I'm strong enough, then I get to make the call, not them. We understand each other so much better because of all this. Don't you see? I was lost, really lost. I couldn't get myself out of what I'd become until you signed my contract and stood by me.”

“That was all you…finding your own way out. But we can argue about that later, after we make-up.” He pulls me close again.

“Finally,” I say puckering up my lips like a fish.

He laughs, and places a hand on my cheek.

I put my arms around his neck. A trail of goose bumps forms where he runs a finger along the side of my neck. His expression becomes so intense that I feel as though I've melted into a rushing green river. He leans in and I close my eyes, afraid for a moment that I'll forget what to do.

“I love you, Jess. So much.”

His lips brush against my cheek first. Surprising me, making me tremble in anticipation. The warmth of his lips travels across my forehead, my temples, my neck, until finally he finds my lips. I melt into him and wrap my arms tighter, kissing him back until the world spins under my feet.

He pulls me closer and his hands move down the sides of my waist. My body is pressed against him. He's holding all of my weight and I kiss him again until I'm floating with thousands of butterflies, tasting bits of fire on my tongue and walking on stars. I deepen the kiss, and let my fingers tangle into his curls.

Maybe because he's already been in my dreams for so long, it feels to me as though we've always been together.
In love. Love. Love. Love.

He pulls back and all I can manage is a dazed sigh. It takes me a long time to register the details of his face. “So…that's a make-up kiss? Let's have another fight soon.”

“I'm the happiest person on earth right now,” he says.

“No. That would be me. You have to kiss me again. It's so—it's so…
so
…wow. And I might be holding just the smallest of grudges that you'll need to wipe clean.” I lean in.

He groans as though he's in pain and his cheeks have turned bright red. “I can't. We can't.”

“Why?” I aim for his lips and he sidesteps me!

“We have an audience. If we don't stop, I'm going to royally embarrass myself in more ways than one. I have no control where you're concerned. Please. That's Gran, staring us down.” He shoots a pained smile over my shoulder.

I turn to look. Corey, Michelle and Gran are standing in the window grinning like fools. Michelle's actually jumping up and down, doing one of her cheers while giving me the thumbs up. “Why are they all here? Why is Corey wearing a suit? And Michelle—what's up with that flower dress?”

“I told you. We had a script. Those are the costumes. You have no idea what we'd planned to win you back. That crew was about to crash your dad's barbecue.”

“Even Gran?” I laugh and smile at Gran. She waves back with a strange looking cane.

“Especially Gran. She'd vowed to go after your dad
if
, I mean,
when
he tried to kill me.”

I giggle and open the front door calling into the entryway. “As soon as we find our phones, dinner's on my parents. Who's coming to the BBQ to help me introduce my new boyfriend to the family?”

Corey walks out the door, snorting his obnoxious chuckle-snort. “I thought you two were going to make out for hours. Gran says she's gone for her purse, but I think she had to rinse the vomit out of her mouth. I know I did,” he adds, shooting me a huge smile and a wink. “I'm sorry it didn't work out between us, Jess. But I didn't know we were going out until today. Hope you're not mad I cheated on you with Michelle this whole time.”

“I'm already over you,” I joke.

Michelle, following him out, bumps his shoulder. “Yeah, because I'd have killed both of you if you didn't break it off.” She shoots me a look. “If you ever keep a secret this big from me again, we're no longer best friends.”

I hug her tight, and I can see she's not mad at me. “I promise. I'm sorry. And thanks for understanding.”

“Already history.” Michelle hugs me back.