Almost Ordinary (The Song Wreckers Book 2) (10 page)

In the week since Cooper returned to work, Caleb’s stress level sky rocketed. He didn’t talk about it much, mainly mumbling about Cooper under his breath. He was still great with the kids, of course, and they seemed to have a calming effect on him. But when they were put to bed for the night, I’d get only a quick kiss before he stomped off to his home office. For a few hours he made phone calls and researched. He refused my offer to help which hurt my feelings until I realized if he offered to help me write songs, he’d be no help at all. If I hadn’t fallen asleep yet when he came to bed I’d massage his neck and shoulders to help release the tension. He’d relax until the next morning when it started all over again.

I had high, foolish hopes that Caleb would be able to slow down and relax somewhat once Cooper returned to work at 3D. This shit with Cooper ate at him too much. All of it. Being around him every day, putting up with Cooper’s not-so-sunny disposition made worse by his physical limitations, having more responsibility piled on. What had to be the worst, was the guilt. Cooper took that bullet meant for Caleb and Caleb was grateful to him. Then he watched as his wife cared for the man she had once been screwing, yet ultimately got screwed over by.

I was tired as hell, and Caleb was stressed out, but this bump in our road would pass. We were fine. Hell, we loved each other enough to overcome huge obstacles and wind up happily married.

Walks outside in the summer sun, trips for ice cream, and maybe the boys’ first time at the beach should help. The ruckus at 3D would have to slow down, and Caleb could then relax. I mean, there had to come a time when our life would slow the hell down, right?

That was the plan and I was sticking to it.

Chapter 12

Katie and Brett returned from their honeymoon tanned and content. I was desperate to have The Song Wreckers’ lead singer back. Since our bass player, Heather, ran Brett’s in his absence, we couldn’t hold band practice until Katie and Brett returned. The band was close to finishing a song, and we wanted to debut it at July’s Wreckers Weekend. After all, songs about burning the house down of the man who cheated on you don’t put themselves together. Katie and I outdid ourselves with this new gem. With lyrics like “I hope it burns to the ground mother-fucker/I won’t be stickin’ around letting you make me a sucker,” it was sure to be a hit.

Songwriting genius, man.

Our violinist, Courtney, and her husband and our drummer, Josh, held band practices in their barn. They used it to store the stuff they no longer wanted in their house, like their daughter’s old toys, and our band equipment. The previous owner used it to make art pieces they sold online and spent most of their time in there. It had both heat and air conditioning, locked up tight, and sat far enough out on their property so we didn’t bother the neighbors. The seclusion was perfect for us.

The Song Wreckers were a well-oiled machine, so getting this song finalized should’ve gone smoother, but Katie’s energy seemed low. Most practices, she had more energy than the rest of us.

I studied Katie. Her makeup and shoulder-length blonde hair were perfect as usual. It was the continual
blah
look on her face that worried me.

“Are you okay, Katie?” I asked. “Did you catch something on your honeymoon?”

She lifted the strap around her head and set her guitar down. “I’m pregnant.”

My jaw dropped. I’d mistaken her
blah
for morning sickness. Everyone else appeared surprised too. I ran up to her and hugged her. “Oh my God! This is awesome! Congratulations!”

We ignored practice for a while to fawn over Katie. She was two months along, due in January. Mama was over the moon, she told us. God, I couldn’t wait to make fun of Brett for getting Katie pregnant before they walked down the aisle.

Life must’ve known something like this was what I needed. I had another
good
thing.

Now that “the news” had been revealed, the rest of practice progressed at its normal, dynamic level. The Song Wreckers have been a band since our college days. If we could be counted on for only one thing, it’d be to put together kick-ass songs a bar crowd loved. In the zone, we found our groove and finished the new song by ten o’clock. Each one of us yawned as we said good night, not that we were old, though.

At my Jeep, a generic ringtone blared from my purse as I set my guitars down to dig my keys from my purse. A chill zinged through my body and I told myself Adam was in jail so it couldn’t be him. I dug my phone out.

My dad’s number showed on caller I.D., but we rarely talked. “Dad?” I answered.

Joy, my dad’s new wife, answered with a shaky voice. “Molly, your father had a heart attack. The doctors said he’s going to be okay but I wanted you to know.”

I leaned against my Jeep, one hand holding the phone to my ear, the other rubbing my forehead. Between Katie’s baby and my dad’s heart attack, big news overwhelmed me a bit. There was no breeze and the air festered hot and humid so taking a deep, calming breath suffocated rather than calmed. Joy explained she and my dad were at home yesterday evening watching TV when he suffered the heart attack. She called 911 right away, and he was in stable condition after having bypass surgery.

I found a pen and old receipt in my purse and wrote down the name of the hospital, thanked her for calling me, and asked her to keep me updated.

I had been trying to reconcile my feelings of abandonment toward my dad for so long, and hadn’t quite been able to do it. He left my mom and me when I was six. I let him into my life about a year and a half ago, albeit from a distance, when I went to his wedding with Cooper, which started our affair. I’ve kept in touch with him since then. I also made sure to keep my distance. I had to give him some credit. He’s put more effort into our relationship than my mom has.

Once home, I told Caleb about my dad’s heart attack. He hugged me for a long time while I breathed him in. I could tell he’d been downstairs working out because his slick skin smelled like salt. It intensified his natural smell and I found that comforting. My father could have died. My past hang ups could have cost me knowing my father, and my kids their grandfather.

When I unwrapped my arms from Caleb, he asked, “Do you think you should go see him for a few days to check on him?”

It had crossed my mind. “I don’t think so. The drive is too long to do every day with two babies which means I’d have to find a place to stay. I don’t want you to have to take off work and I don’t want to go alone.”

He eyed me warily, giving me a look I have come to know as the
don’t get mad at me for suggesting this
look. He knew I had a hard time accepting help. Admitting my life ran better with a nanny was difficult enough. “Maybe you could find someone to take with you to help out. Not that you would need help, but it might make it easier if you don’t have to take the boys to a hospital with you so you can concentrate on your dad.”

He was right. My heart told me to go see him even if it meant nights without my husband again. Logically, I knew I wouldn’t overhear a gruesome phone call and wonder if my husband had been shot, but that horrible night still played in my mind sometimes.

Caleb stared at me so I knew he saw the struggle of making a decision written on my face. “Work is crazy with Cooper trying to act like he’s fine when he’s not. Not to mention his plan of a Tampa branch he won’t let go. I wish I could go with you. You could ask Franny to go. Or maybe Katie.”

I smiled at the mention of Katie’s name. “Katie’s pregnant, remember? She’s not feeling so hot. I don’t think she’s up to going.”

“Franny?”

Franny worked at her parents’ restaurant in the early mornings which meant they’d need someone to take her place for a few days. “I’ll think about it.”

I slept more off than on that night. It was pointless to lie there, so I threw off the covers. If I couldn’t sleep I might as well do something productive, like writing. My songs were shaping up to be my best work yet. Crystal Records expected magic from me so I couldn’t afford to give them anything less than my best.

As soon as I slid out of bed, Caleb mumbled, “Princess.”

“I’m gonna go downstairs for a while,” I told him. “Go back to sleep.”

“Come here.” He lifted the covers open.

I snuggled in next to him. He recovered us and wrapped his body. “Talk to me,” he whispered.

I let out a noisy breath. “I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ve decided to be a good daughter because I feel like I should go see him. I don’t know him like a daughter should so it might be awkward.” I turned so we were face to face. “What do you think I should do?”

“I don’t want to be without you or the kids, but I think you should go. Call Franny tomorrow morning and see if she can go with you. If so, go. If not, stay here.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It is.”

Was it? The trip would be a few days, not forever. I’d be home in time for the Wreckers Weekend, and if I had a second set of hands, assuming Franny agreed to come with me, the visit would be easy. I’d feel guilty if I didn’t go.

“Okay.”

The next morning, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my dad, then called Joy. The doctors told her to expect my dad to stay in the hospital for another four days barring any complications that may arise.

Franny easily found another waiter to take her part-time hours at her parents’ restaurant, so I didn’t have an excuse to chicken out.

Nerves fluttered around my stomach as we pulled into the hospital parking lot. I didn’t know how my father would react to my kids. My mom was pleasant, but not in a devoted grandmother fashion like I’d hoped. My parents’ marriage fell apart when my twin sister, Holly, died at ten months old. My mom never cleared that emotional hurdle, and, although I knew she loved me, she always kept her distance from me. My father lost a baby too, so it had crossed my mind that he might be standoffish as well.

He lay semi-propped up on his bed as we entered his room, and smiled when he saw me and the Zander and Alex. “Hi, Dad,” I greeted.

“Molly. Come here and bring those boys.”

Franny and I each lifted a kid out of their car seat and carried them over, careful not to disturb any of the hospital equipment. “Dad, this Zander.” I held him up by the armpits. “And that one is Alex.” Franny stepped closer. “And this is Franny. She came to help me out with the boys since Caleb can’t be here.”

My dad’s hand shook as he lifted it to Zander. Zander grabbed a finger and tried to put it in his mouth, but it wouldn’t reach.

“They really favor you,” he said. And they did, but they also favored Cooper’s dark hair and eyes. Caleb was blond-haired and blue-eyed, so everyone assumed the boys took after me. “It’s so good to see you and meet these little ones. They’re what, six months old?”

“Yeah.” They were born December twenty-sixth. “It’s good to see you too,” I said, and then I shocked myself. I leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. I was not a kissy person. Well, except for with Caleb.

We made small talk for a while, nothing heavy. He asked a lot of questions about the boys, and I asked about his job as a college professor. I didn’t know much else about him.

The twins became antsy and hard to keep quiet so I decided to leave. I promised to visit the next day without the boys so we could talk some more.

At the hotel, Franny and I ordered food to be delivered. While waiting for it to arrive, I called Caleb to let him know we were doing fine, then called Katie. I knew she’d tell me every new detail of her pregnancy, and I welcomed the distraction from seeing my dad weak in a hospital bed.

Katie told me more than I needed to know about how often she’s been peeing. “I’ve been thinking about push presents. Did Ram surprise you with one?”

First I made her explain what in the hell a push present was. “A gift from your husband for giving birth? Like,
sorry you were stretched to hell in order for us to have kids, then had your crotch ripped open or your uterus cut through. Here’s jewelry!
That might be brilliant.”

“So you didn’t get anything?”

“No. We got married in November and were getting used to living together when the twins were born a few weeks early. Then it was all,
wow, we’re a family.
Nobody had any time for push presents.”

“Okay, Mol. Give it to me straight: What’s my sex life gonna be like after the baby is born?”

I let out an exasperated sigh. I didn’t discuss my sex life with people, even Katie. She hated that. “It will be different for a while, but still good. Unless it stunk before, then it will stink after too I guess.”

“Will it get boring?”

“Kaaaaatieeeeee!”

“Oh, come on, Mol. Give me something.”

“Okay,” I relented. “If you want to keep sex from getting boring, you have to forget about being tired or stressed or both.”

Franny walked by. “Molly, I don’t want to hear about you and Ram doing it. I’m divorced and that depresses me.”

Katie heard her. “I wanna hear about you and Ram doing it.”

“Shut up.” Franny looked at me. “Not you. Katie.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” Franny said.

“Come on, Mol, give me something. You never tell me anything about you and Ram doing it.”

I waited until I heard the water running so Franny couldn’t overhear. “Okay, here’s something. Remember last month when we were over Brett’s house for the barbecue?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Remember when I went inside for more ketchup? Well Caleb followed me inside. And I wore that sundress because the top makes boob access easier to nurse the boys?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, wearing a dress also makes easy access for something else.”

“No!”

“Yup. Caleb followed me inside where he seduced me in record time then did me right up against the hallway wall.” I smiled at the memory. “That’s what took me so long to find the ketchup.”

I didn’t think Caleb came inside with the intent of getting spontaneous, super-hot, naughty sex with me. He followed me in and happened to come up behind me to give me a quick kiss on the side of the neck. When he did that, I raised onto my tiptoes and pushed my rear end into his groin. He kissed my neck again so I wiggled against his groin and foreplay escalated at warp speed. Before I knew it, wham-bam-thank-you-Princess.

“What part of the wall?” she marveled.

“Right next to that stupid picture of dogs playing poker in the hallway. He lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist, then he moved us around the corner for privacy. If those dogs could talk.” I fanned my face with my free hand. “We gave ‘em quite a show.” And I loved it. And I wanted a repeat but at our own house someday.

Katie laughed. “You know what, Mol? You’ve come a long way the past year or so.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you never would’ve told me something like that a year ago. And if your dad would’ve had this heart attack last year you wouldn’t have gone to see him. Getting married and having kids has been so good for you.”

It has. Pre-Caleb, I’d rarely let people past my emotional walls I’d spent years building. Katie was my best friend in the whole world, and I didn’t even tell her when I started having sex with Cooper. Oh no, she found out when she barged in on us one night. Even though I had some insecurity about whether or not I was a good mother, I’ve let a lot of the negative feelings go. Seeing my dad today, I realized I no longer directed any anger toward him. I let go of most of the guilt about getting pregnant by someone who wanted nothing to do with me, as well as not giving Caleb the kind of courtship he deserved. I still freaked out that I was a wife and mother. Not because I didn’t want to be those things, but because
holy shit I’m a wife and a mother.
Me, Molly Ramsey, formerly Molly Davis, was married with two children. And the story of that journey, yowza. Yet here I lived and breathed, happy.