Almost Perfect (16 page)

Liz nodded. She had no idea if Ethan did the same, but then they were being shown out.

She stood in the corridor feeling as if she'd just escaped a war zone.

“Jesus.” Ethan shoved his hand through his hair. “I wasn't expecting that.”

“We're going to have to figure something out,” Liz insisted, glancing back at the door. “While I'm sure you're not excited about paying five hundred dollars a day, either, I can at least work from jail. You made this happen, Ethan. Now we're both stuck.”

“I did what I had to do.”

“You'd rather be right than anything?” What happened to the gentle, funny man she'd fallen in love with? Was he gone forever? Or had the person she'd cared about been little more than an illusion?

“I can't lose Tyler again.”

“You won't,” she said, frustration boiling inside of her. “How many times do I have to tell you before you'll believe…”

She stared at him as understanding dawned. “Of course,” she whispered. “You can't believe me. Because if I'm reasonable, if I
really
want you to get to know your son, then I'm not the bad guy. And just maybe part of the reason you don't know him now is because of the choices you made.”

She was thinking about how he'd betrayed her, but the tightness in his expression warned her that he'd gone to a different place.

“You leave Rayanne out of this,” he growled.

“I wasn't talking about her.”

“You blame her.”

She considered the question. “Not as much as you do.”

“I don't blame her. She was my wife.”

There was something about the way he said the words, she thought. She didn't know what it was. What secret or piece of information she was missing.

Before she could decide if she should hit him or walk away, he surprised her by touching her cheek with the back of his hand.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “Sensitive topic.”

“Apparently.”

They stared at each other. Looking into his eyes was a little too much like looking at the sun. Do it for any length of time and there would be permanent consequences.

“I don't want to fight with you,” he told her. “You're right. We need to come up with a plan.”

The gentle stroking made her want to lean against him. “As if I'd trust you now.”

“I don't want to hurt you, Liz.”

She glanced away. “What do you want?”

He dropped his hand to his side. “I want a do-over. I want to be there when Tyler's born and watch him grow up.”

There was raw honesty in his expression and anguish in his tone. Her chest tightened.

“I'm sorry, too,” she said softly. “More sorry than I can tell you.”

“I know.”

Two little words that usually didn't mean much. But this time, spoken by him, they were the world.

“We can make this work,” she reiterated. “I want you and Tyler to spend as much time together as possible.”

“Hard to do when you live in San Francisco.”

She wanted to say that if this was so damned important, he could be the one to move. He could run his businesses from there. Only she knew that wasn't possible or practical. That most people would say she should be the one to compromise. To turn her life upside down and move back to Fool's Gold. Because it would be better for everyone.

Everyone but her.

“I need to get back,” she concluded. “I have to work before the kids get home from camp.”

They walked to the parking lot together. Liz tried to think of something to say—another compromise that they could both live with. But it didn't exist.

When she pulled out the keys to her small SUV,
Ethan grabbed her arm. He pulled her around and there, in the middle of the afternoon, in an open parking lot, on a Thursday, he kissed her.

His mouth claimed hers with a combination of need, anger and determination she could relate to. Instead of pulling away, she leaned into him, kissing him back just as passionately, letting her emotions flow through her. Their lips clung, their bodies strained. He wrapped one arm around her waist, she put her free hand on his shoulder.

For a single moment, there was nothing but the heat of the sun and the man who held her. There was wanting and promise and in that space of time, anything was possible. Then sanity returned in the sharp honk of a horn, the sounds of traffic and the realization that this problem was bigger than a kiss.

Ethan released her. She stepped back. Without saying a word, they each got in their own car and drove away.

 

L
IZ ARRIVED HOME KNOWING THAT
if she wasn't expecting three children to walk in the front door in the next hour or so, she would give in to the theory that it was five o'clock somewhere and pour a big glass of wine. As it was, she changed into jeans and a T-shirt and medicated herself with Diet Coke and two peanut butter cookies. She'd barely taken her first bite, had yet to feel the sugar coursing through her body, when someone knocked on the front door.

She found herself hesitating before answering. In this town, unexpected company was rarely the good kind. A theory confirmed when she pulled open the door and found Ethan's mother standing there.

Liz did her best not to flinch. She knew better than to show fear in the face of a predator. Denise Hendrix smiled and held out a covered casserole dish.

“Mac and cheese,” she said. “It was Ethan's favorite when he was growing up. Actually it was all my kids' favorite. What is it about children and cheese and pasta?”

Denise looked both friendly and hopeful.

Liz once again wished for wine or a margarita. When neither appeared, she stepped back to let the other woman in.

“You'll want to put this in the fridge,” Denise continued. “It only needs to be heated. About forty minutes at three-fifty. Oh, and take off the foil.”

“Thanks,” Liz said, taking the dish and walking into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”

“No. I'm fine. Were you working? Am I interrupting?”

“I've been dealing with other things today,” Liz said, wondering if she should mention the visit with the judge or leave that for Ethan to share. She wasn't completely sure about Denise's reason for stopping by. Somehow the food delivery seemed more like an excuse than a plan.

“Do you have deadlines?” Denise asked.

“Yes. I usually stay on top of them. This summer has been a challenge.”

“You've been dealing with a lot.”

Sympathy? Was it safe to trust it? “There are unique circumstances.”

Denise leaned against the counter. “I know about the injunction and I'm sorry my son was such an idiot. I hope it went well with the judge.”

So his mother already knew. Is that why she'd stopped by? But why not wait and get the story from her son? “We saw her this afternoon. It was interesting.” Liz explained how she and Ethan had until the end of summer to come up with a plan.

“Do you know what you're going to agree on?” Denise asked.

“Not yet. I know what Ethan wants.” Liz said the last sentence defiantly. Because it would be what Denise wanted, too.

“I'm sorry about what happened,” the other woman told her. “That you had to go through having a baby on your own. I remember when I was pregnant with Ethan. I was terrified. You were younger and alone. That couldn't have been easy.”

Liz forced herself to relax. She moved to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair, then waited for Denise to do the same before sitting.

“I had a few difficult moments,” she admitted. “Luckily I found a shelter for pregnant girls. It was nice not to be completely by myself. I saw a doctor, got the right kind of food and vitamins.”

“I wish we'd known,” Denise offered. “I wish you'd come to me.”

Liz stared at her. “I appreciate what you're saying but that would never have happened.” It wouldn't have occurred to her. Not ever, but especially not after Ethan had rejected her so publicly.

“I understand. I wish I'd known the two of you were together. Maybe I would have thought to check on you.”

Rather than say something she would regret, Liz pressed her lips together and nodded slightly.

“I knew what they were saying about you, back then,” Denise told her. “I always felt so bad for you. I wish your mother had protected you more.”

“She was the real problem. I wasn't doing those things. I wasn't that girl, but no one cared to look beyond the rumors. Well, except for Ethan and then, not so much.”

Denise frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago.”

“It matters to me.” She leaned toward Liz. “Why did you leave that first time?”

Liz tried to be vague. This was Denise's son, after all. “We had a fight.”

“I don't believe that's the only reason.”

Liz drew in a breath. “You should ask him.”

“I'm asking you.” Denise gave her a faint smile. “Don't make me use my ‘bad mom' voice. I have six kids and a lot of practice.”

Fine. If the woman wanted to know, Liz would tell her.

“Ethan and I had been going out for two months. He
didn't want anyone to know. Despite how much he said he loved me, I think he was a little embarrassed by my reputation. I was going to join him at college, where no one would know about me. We were going to be together. I loved him. He was my first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first…” She cleared her throat. “You know.”

“I can imagine. Then what happened?”

“I was working at the diner. Ethan was in with his friends, like always. I used to think it was so romantic that no one knew. It was our secret.” Knowing Ethan loved her had made her feel special.

“Josh mentioned seeing us together. All Ethan's friends started going after him, wanting to know if he was ‘doing me.'” She laced her fingers together, determined to stay in the moment, to not remember too much. “He said he barely knew who I was. That he would never be interested in someone like me.”

Denise flinched. “Oh, Liz. I'm so sorry.”

She shrugged. “I was humiliated and hurt. I could feel my heart breaking. I dumped a milk shake on his head and walked out. That was the last time we spoke. When I found out I was pregnant, I came back to tell him. I found him in bed with another girl.”

“Oh, God.” Denise touched her arm. “That's awful. I don't know what else to say.”

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not. Nothing about the situation is okay.” Denise shook her head. “It's Ralph, and that damned idea of his that we're the Hendrixes. The family that
founded Fool's Gold.” She sounded frustrated. “Reputation is everything. Act right, do right, be right. Emotions be damned.”

Denise sighed. “I loved my husband from the moment I first saw him, but he wasn't easy. And he passed all that righteousness onto Ethan.”

Liz wasn't surprised. “He was the oldest.”

“Exactly.”

“Being with someone like me violated everything his father had ever said. I get it.” Liz spoke as if the words didn't hurt her and hoped the other woman couldn't see the truth.

“For Ralph, the world was black and white. Reality is much more gray. I don't think Ethan was mature enough to see that.”

Denise sounded sincere and conciliatory, which Liz appreciated, but it also made her uncomfortable.

“I'm fine,” she said quickly. “The past is over. Tyler and I have been fine. I've taken good care of him.”

“I don't doubt that,” Denise assured her. “But while you've been busy taking care of your son, who's taken care of you?”

“I don't need anyone to take care of me.”

Denise smiled gently. “Liz, we all need someone. And now you have us. I hope you'll accept me and my children into your family. You're a part of us now.”

It was as if she could hear a door slam somewhere in the distance. No. Not a door—a gate. Denise was Tyler's grandmother. He had aunts and uncles. However
far she might want to run, she was bound to these people forever, and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or a bad one.

L
IZ HAD DONE HER BEST TO
prepare Roy's daughters for the reality of seeing their father in prison, but words couldn't begin to explain the experience. Not only did Melissa and Liz have to leave their cell phones in the car, Abby wasn't allowed to bring gum. She'd had to tell the girls not to wear chambray shirts or jeans because the color was forbidden for visitors. It was what the prisoners wore. They all had to make sure their shirts had sleeves and that they would have to pass through a metal detector before they could see their father.

Their cheerful mood during the drive had faded, the closer they got to the prison, then disappeared when they stopped by the structure. Liz understood completely. There was no way to look at the forbidding building and feel anticipation.

They followed the other visitors to an open patio where Roy hovered. He looked both excited and nervous.

“You came,” he said, when he saw them.

Abby rushed toward him and he embraced her, but Melissa hung back.

“It's all right,” Liz told her.

Melissa shook her head. “It's not,” she whispered. “He's not getting out of here, is he?”

Liz's throat tightened. “It will be a while.”

“How could he do this? How could he leave us?”

Liz didn't know what to say.

“He's still your dad,” she managed to murmur. “He still loves you.”

Melissa swallowed. “Loving us isn't going to be enough.”

She slowly approached her father, then hugged him.

The three of them settled on a picnic table. Liz hung back, wanting to give them private time together. She sat by herself, reading the book she'd brought, trying to ignore the other reunions going on around her. Some groups were happy, but others were quiet, marked with tears and obvious pain.

About an hour later, Roy walked over to sit next to her.

“They told me that you're having the house fixed up,” he relayed, avoiding her gaze. “Thanks for that. I got the paperwork that lawyer sent. I've already signed it and sent it back.”

She nodded. The house was being put into a trust for the girls.

“When it's finished, I'll talk to a real estate agent again and we'll figure out if it's better to sell it now and invest the money or keep it and rent it out.”

Roy nodded. “Do whatever you think is best. You were always the smart one in the family.”

“Either way they'll have money for their future.” They wouldn't need it for college. If either of her nieces wanted to go, Liz would pay for it herself. She thought about saying that but thought Roy might think she was showing off. The situation was awkward enough already.

“I signed that other paper, too,” her brother told her, looking at her for the first time. “The one making you their legal guardian. I told them that they have to do what you said. Mel's mad because you want to move them to San Francisco. I told her it was for the best.”

“I doubt she believed you.”

“She'll get over it. She's just a kid.” He shifted uneasily. “I was thinking you probably shouldn't bring them back to see me again. It's too hard on them.”

Liz had a feeling the person he was most concerned about was himself. “Are you going to write them?”

“Sure. Sure. I sent that one letter.”

“They'll want to hear from you. You're their father.”

“I know. I said I'd write.”

“Okay,” she murmured. “I'll make sure they write you, too, and let you know what's going on with them.”

“Thanks, Liz.”

“Sure.”

He returned to his daughters. A few minutes later, the girls walked over to her.

There were tears in their eyes. Abby tried to smile but failed. Melissa, like her father, wouldn't look at Liz.

“Ready to go?” Liz asked.

Abby nodded.

They returned to the car. The afternoon was warm, the sky a cloudless blue. She cranked up the air conditioning until it blasted them, then headed for the freeway.

“Dad said you were our legal guardian now,” Melissa reported as she stared out the window.

“I am.” Liz clutched the steering wheel. “It's not that he doesn't love you. This just makes things easier. Like if you have to go to the doctor's, I can sign the paperwork.”

“Or make us move,” Melissa said bitterly. “You're not our mom.”

“I'm not trying to be,” Liz explained, refusing to take the attack personally.

“Can't we stay?” Abby asked softly from the back-seat.

“No,” Melissa told her, turning to glare at her. “We can't. Aunt Liz is going to make us move and we can't stop her. If we run away, the police will find us and bring us back. She can do anything she likes. Even dump us in foster care.”

Liz merged onto the freeway. “Melissa, that's enough,” she said sternly. “You can be mad at me if you want, but don't take it out on Abby. No one is going into foster care and you know it. You may not like the idea of moving, but in the few weeks you've known me I've done my best to take care of you.”

“You might be able to make us move, but I'll never forgive you,” Melissa announced. “I'll hate you forever.”

“Something we'll both have to live with,” Liz told her.

She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Abby was crying. Melissa had her head turned away, so Liz wasn't sure how upset she was. Nothing about this situation was easy, she thought sadly. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be.

No one spoke. After a few minutes, she turned on the radio. A while later, Abby's tears stopped. She sniffed every now and then but otherwise was silent. Melissa sat stiffly in her seat. When they finally arrived back in Fool's Gold, Liz was actually relieved to be in town.

She drove directly to the house and had barely put the car in park before Melissa jumped out. Abby followed her sister.

Liz got out more slowly, then came to a stop when she saw Ethan at the top of the porch stairs.

He'd spent the morning with Tyler and no doubt wanted to complain about something or throw her under a nearby bus. She was too tired and drained for another fight, but telling him that felt like admitting weakness.

“I take it things didn't go well,” he guessed as he approached her.

“Knowing their dad is in prison and seeing him there are two different things. They're upset.”

He was tall and handsome and the fact that she
noticed made her want to stomp her foot in frustration. Why did he have to be the one man on the planet able to win her with a single look? Even now, with the injunction, the past and everything else between them, all she could think about was stepping into his strong embrace and letting him handle things for a little while.

“They took it out on you,” he assumed, not asking a question.

“I'm an easy target.”

He reached toward her. She thought about stepping back but instead braced herself. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

The light brush of his fingers against her skin made her warm inside and a little stronger. Craziness, she told herself. Ethan might not be the enemy, but he wasn't exactly her friend.

“Let's go riding,” he offered.

“What?”

“We'll rent bikes. For all of us. Getting out of the house will make Melissa and Abby feel better and you won't have to deal with them alone.”

“It makes me nervous when you're nice,” she admitted.

“I guess I should be nice more often so you get used to it.”

“I find that unlikely.”

He gave her a slow, sexy smile. “Don't sell yourself short.”

“Very funny. I was trying to indicate I'm not sure you
can
be nice.”

“Try me.”

She would like to, even if that made her the local idiot. “I think a bike ride would be safer.”

 

A
HALF HOUR LATER, THEY HAD
bikes and were making their way around the lake. Sunlight sparkled on the water where paddle boats glided. Families sat on the grass or under the trees. On the other side of the bike path, teenaged boys played with a Frisbee.

Ethan hung back, wanting to make sure that Melissa and Abby were both comfortable and safe as they rode. Abby stayed close to Liz, talking easily. Melissa was in front, her shoulders stiff, her pace determined. The teenager was obviously still angry.

Tyler was on the other side of his mother. Ethan watched his son weave back and forth, deliberately riding a serpentine course. Every now and then he took both hands off the handlebars, causing his mother to glance at him. Tyler grinned and returned his hands to the bars.

When a family on bikes came toward them on the wide, paved path, everyone moved to the side. Melissa wobbled a little and had to put her foot down to keep from falling. Ethan rode up to her.

“Been a long time,” he said with a grin. “It'll come back to you.”

“Riding bikes is for kids,” she said, pouting.

“Ever hear of the Tour de France?”

She sniffed. “That's some big race.”

“Right. Know what they ride?”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Kids and weird people.”

He held in a laugh.

They were a ways back from Liz and the kids. He lowered his voice.

“Who are you really mad at? Your dad for being in prison or Liz for wanting to move back to San Francisco?”

She turned away. “I'm mad at Liz.”

“I don't believe that.”

She glared at him, tears filling her eyes. “You don't know anything.”

“I know some. I know this is hard. I know you're about the bravest person I know, taking care of your sister like that. And I know Liz dropped everything to come here the second she got your e-mail.”

Melissa sucked in a breath. “Maybe.”

He didn't know if she was talking about herself or Liz and decided not to push it.

“I don't want to leave here and she's going to make me,” Melissa said.

Not a subject he could be neutral about, he thought. He didn't want Liz to go, either. But he also knew this was a chance for him to protect Liz's back and show her that he wasn't the bad guy in all of this.

“She's taking you away from all your friends and never letting you come back, huh?” he asked. “That sucks.”

Melissa glanced at him. “She said I could still see my friends. You know, on the weekends Tyler's with you. And I'll have my cell phone.”

He didn't say anything.

She sighed. “It won't be the same.”

“That's part of growing up. Things change.”

“But I don't want this.”

“That happens, too.”

There were a lot of things he didn't want. He didn't want to have missed the first eleven years of his son's life. But no matter how he yelled or complained or threatened, nothing about the situation would change.

“Sometimes you have to accept how things are,” he said as much to himself as to Melissa. “You can make it easy on yourself, or you can make it hard. The choice is yours.”

“Maybe I don't want to grow up,” she argued.

“After what you've already been through?” He smiled. “Sorry, Melissa. It's happening and you're turning out great.”

“Can we get ice cream?” Tyler asked, looking back at Ethan.

“I think ice cream is a good idea,” Liz agreed. She pointed to the stand up ahead. “Something dipped in chocolate would be very nice.”

Beside her, Abby laughed. “You really like chocolate.”

“I do. It's a chick thing.”

“Ice cream for everyone,” Ethan concurred. He turned to Melissa. “You okay?”

She nodded.

Fifteen minutes later they were all stretched out on
the grass, in the shade, eating ice cream. Abby stayed close to Liz, as did Tyler. Melissa was a few feet away, by herself. Ethan found himself wishing Liz were leaning against him the way Abby leaned against her. Because being angry didn't mean he stopped wanting her.

It had always been that way, he reminded himself. It had been the first day of his senior year of school. He'd been walking down the hallway when he'd spotted Liz. She'd had that shy, terrified look that told him she was unprepared for the transition from junior high.

Even then she'd been beautiful. Tall and slim, with curves in the right places. There'd been something about the way she'd carried herself—with a warning that you could look but you couldn't touch. She didn't make eye contact with anyone.

One of Ethan's friends had nudged him.

“See that girl there? She's Liz Sutton. I've heard she puts out as much as her mom. I hope it's true.”

Ethan didn't know what combination of events had started the rumors about Liz. Maybe the girls in school had resented how beautiful she was. Maybe the boys had hated that she wouldn't pay attention to them. But in a matter of weeks, everyone knew Liz Sutton had a reputation for being easy and cheap.

Even so, he'd been attracted to her. Not just for the potential sex, but because he'd seen something in her eyes. Something that called to him.

He'd spoken to her a few times that year. Or at least
he'd tried. She'd always turned away and disappeared with an ease that told him she was well practiced at vanishing. Then he'd graduated and gone off to college, nearly forgetting all about Liz.

Until the summer before his senior year. When he'd come home in May and literally run into her on the sidewalk. He'd taken one look at her and known he had to have her.

His initial interest had been about how she looked, but he'd quickly discovered there was a smart brain behind the green eyes. That Liz had a wicked sense of humor and yet a moral compass that appealed to him. He'd learned she was kind and self-aware and that no one else had ever kissed her. He'd been her first…for everything.

“Ethan, what are you thinking?” Liz asked. “You have the strangest look on your face.”